Automotive bull5hit facts thread

[Dobloseven]

Trawling through their archives, looking to get rid of anything with Jimmy Savile in it,BBC executives discovered a never released episode of Last of the summer wine. A Christmas special, entitled Hark the Herald. In which Edie Pegden complains to husband Wesley about an annoying noise from the rear of her 13/60 convertible. Wesley sets about rebuilding the diff. with NOS crown wheel and pinion set plus bearings and gaskets from the Triumph Sports Six Club. However he gets it all apart and becomes confused as to how to get it back together. Foggy, Compo and Clegg find him outside his garage with his head in his hands and offer to help. It's soon back together but now has one forward gear and four reverse. Wesley manages to convince Edie he's made it easier to drive for her and she seems happy with a top speed of 15.8 mph at 5500rpm.Until she forgets and reverses at speed down a steep hill, through a hole in a dry stone wall and into a haystack with Howard and Marina in it. Turns out the diff was fine anyway. The noise was from the three old women she insisted on carrying round with her on the back seat. 

[Metal Guru]

In the early 90s, after the success of their 323 model, Mazda were looking to go a bit more upmarket and targeted footballers with the new 424 . However, this coincided with the start of the Premier  league  and with it the massive hike in footballer’s wages. A little known fact was that all EPL footballers had a clause in their contract, that they would not under any circumstances drive a car that cost less than £100k, so none ever bought the Mazda.

[martc]

Git Wizard David Blaine was inspired to sit in a glass box for far too long after seeing people gawping at the occupants of a FIAT Multipla.

[twosmoke300]

Plugging a car into diagnostic equipment takes but a minute , is free , and tells you exactly what part has failed. 

[quicksilver]

It's a well-known fact that Harris Mann has never been happy about getting the blame for the Austin Allegro's looks as it turned into something completely different from what he intended. What is lesser known is that, ever since George Turnbull left BL for Hyundai and showed them some of his former colleague's designs, the Koreans have had a deep admiration for Mr Mann's work. This culminated after they heard him moaning about the Allegro yet again, when Hyundai's design chief reached out to him and bought his original drawings for the Allegro to use as the basis for the Ioniq5's styling.

[Dobloseven]

In early episodes of The Professionals, the protagonists drove British Leyland cars. BL were approached by the producers to supply vehicles FOC in return for the prime time publicity it would generate. Dolomite Sprint and TR7 for Bodie and Doyle, with a Rover SD1 for Cowley, as befitted his senior status. However BL insisted that the cars were returned at the end of each days filming so as the crew couldn't use them for chip shop runs. And so that any repairs could be done. Sometimes, after a hard day of handbrake turns and driving through empty cardboard boxes, they would need completely rebuilding. If they couldn't be returned on time, it was written into the contract that BL could substitute other vehicles from the Press Fleet at their discretion. Things came to a head, with a change to Fords, when Bodie ended up with a Mini Clubman Estate, Doyle an Allegro 1.3 L and Cowley a Sherpa milk float. 

[cort16]

The VW Tiguan was named via a competition inside VW to name the car. A lot of the names suggested where a combination of animal names but the winner was Tiger and Iguana (the german for iguana being Leguan) making the Tiguan.

[Metal Guru]

1 hour ago, Dobloseven said:

In early episodes of The Professionals, the protagonists drove British Leyland cars. BL were approached by the producers to supply vehicles FOC in return for the prime time publicity it would generate. Dolomite Sprint and TR7 for Bodie and Doyle, with a Rover SD1 for Cowley, as befitted his senior status. However BL insisted that the cars were returned at the end of each days filming so as the crew couldn't use them for chip shop runs. And so that any repairs could be done. Sometimes, after a hard day of handbrake turns and driving through empty cardboard boxes, they would need completely rebuilding. If they couldn't be returned on time, it was written into the contract that BL could substitute other vehicles from the Press Fleet at their discretion. Things came to a head, with a change to Fords, when Bodie ended up with a Mini Clubman Estate, Doyle an Allegro 1.3 L and Cowley a Sherpa milk float. 

That’s actually not very far from the truth!

[Noel Tidybeard]

as Maxxo is about to report, Citreon XMs are possibly one of the easiest cars to fault find and work on compared to complex hectors like the Morry Soxford and Cord Fortina

[CaptainBoom]

In the late nineties, Bentley was looking to replace the ageing Mulsanne, the new vehicle was due to be named in a competition held by Bentley staff.  An angry vegan, who worked on the interior design team, (who left Bentley's employment under a cloud regarding a disagreement about company owners Vickers, serving fish and chips in the Crewe works canteen on a Friday) fiddled the competition to win it with their entry, in an unbridled attack on how many cowskins were used in the interior of the new Bentley.  The competition went by unnoticed and the name badges were designed and produced without comment.  It was only when the fitters in Crewe started fitting 'Carnage' badges to bootlids that production was stopped.  The budget had been squeezed dry in buying in the expensive BMW powerplants and getting them breathed on by Cosworth, so it was impractical to rename the vehicles and reprint the brochures. 

In the end a whip-round was run in the office and a consultant was paid £11.50, a half-eaten pack of Liquorice Allsorts and a return bus fare to Sandbach, to rename the vehicle 'Arnage' by the simple expedient of removing the C's from the badges and blacking them out of the brochures with a marker pen. 

The production line chaps kept a pile of C's lying around, rumour has it they were kept in case Elton John bought a fleet of Continentals, the C's could be rotated 90 degrees anticlockwise and used the replace the 'o'...

You'd think that Bentley management would have learned it's lesson after this costly error, but another angry contractor savagely buggered up the name of the most recent luxury vehicle.  Visiting Volkswagen bosses were furious to find that the latest saloon had been called the Bentley Flying Sperm. 

[Metal Guru]

When David Brown bought Aston Martin, he was originally going to include his wife Vera in the car names and have the series badged DV .

However being a forward looking guy, he thought the DV8 would attract the wrong class of customer and so decided to go with DB.

As it turns out, he needn’t have worried.

[quicksilver]

The Macpherson Strut is the name given to the distinctive style in which supermodel Elle Macpherson's famous long legs cause her to walk. This style of walking is said to be very effective at absorbing impacts.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

The famous Bond villain Elon Musk hates middle class professional Americans and Europeans so much that he hatched a very long term plan to eradicate them .

He made cars so ugly and so ridiculous that the unbearably smug men ( rarely does a woman fall for the Tesla hype)  become completely emasculated by their stupid appliances and also totally unattractive to females, meaning they will no longer reproduce.  This process initially means they all drive like bellends demonstrating there incredible acceleration, but once that novelty wears off the lack of any spark is obvious in their dead eyes.

Initially only rich old people can afford these things but as they filter down to the horrible little twats with man buns, currently whizzing about on scooters( itself already contributing to the female repelling) his mission will be complete.

 

To assist him in this process he has secretly recruited stylists from the Pontiac Aztec, Fiat Multipla and Ssangyong Rodius  to create the next in a worthy line of stunningly awkward vehicles.

[Dobloseven]

The musical "Hamilton" was originally written as a biopic of racing driver Lewis Hamilton. However his connection with Mercedes and their use of slavery during WW2, made it unsuitable for the all important American audiences. Plus he's British and the Americans don’t like F1 much anyway. So they rewrote it about another bloke called Hamilton altogether. 

[JeeExEll]

10 hours ago, quicksilver said:

The Macpherson Strut is the name given to the distinctive style in which supermodel Elle Macpherson's famous long legs cause her to walk. This style of walking is said to be very effective at absorbing impacts.

She has adjustable top mounts on her hips which can give a little bit more negative camber for her legs so she can walk round corners a bit faster.

Her shoes do tend to wear out quicker though

[NorfolkNWeigh]

1 hour ago, JeeExEll said:

She has adjustable top mounts on her hips which can give a little bit more negative camber for her legs so she can walk round corners a bit faster.

Her shoes do tend to wear out quicker though

I wouldn’t mind adjusting her top mounts, fnarr fnarr etc

[rml2345]

4 hours ago, JeeExEll said:

She has adjustable top mounts on her hips which can give a little bit more negative camber for her legs so she can walk round corners a bit faster.

Her shoes do tend to wear out quicker though

Naomi Campbell had coilovers until she crashed herself into a tree trying to do burnouts in a pair of Nike trainers. 

[dozeydustman]

Citroën is French for ‘uncomplicated’

[dozeydustman]

On 24/04/2022 at 15:12, Dobloseven said:

The musical "Hamilton" was originally written as a biopic of racing driver Lewis Hamilton. However his connection with Mercedes and their use of slavery during WW2, made it unsuitable for the all important American audiences. Plus he's British and the Americans don’t like F1 much anyway. So they rewrote it about another bloke called Hamilton altogether. 

David ‘Diddy’ Hamilton?

[CaptainBoom]

The Jungle Book's character Shere Kahn was named after Rudyard Kipling's struggle in drilling out a sheer bolt on the steering column of his father's Benz Patent Motor car in 1894.

This history goes back further: his father had struggled to remove the bolt securing the front wheel of his penny farthing, just before his son was born.  When asked by his wife how work was going on, he responded by saying undoing the bolt was 'Ruddy hard', the rest is history.

[goosey]

Just found out today that DSG stands for

 Delicious, Sexy, Gears

now let that sink in, get out there and grab a piece of the action

[twosmoke300]

Thought it was 

Doesn’t 

Select

Gears 

[AnnoyingPentium]

The Morris Marina is called such because it was the best fuckin place for it.

[Amishtat]

As a result of mistranslation,the Skoda Fabia was nearly foisted on the public as the Labia. In spite of the last-minute correction and consequent rebadging,to this day they can usually be found in the vicinity of a cunt.

[AnnoyingPentium]

On 5/28/2022 at 9:41 AM, Amishtat said:

As a result of mistranslation,the Skoda Fabia was nearly foisted on the public as the Labia. In spite of the last-minute correction and consequent rebadging,to this day they can usually be found in the vicinity of a cunt.

Can confirm. 😂

[Metal Guru]

In the early 70s , BL were looking for a name for the 1100/1300 replacement. They wanted Ronseal like names,” does exactly what it says on the tin. “They already had Mini and Maxi but rejected Midi as it sounded like you were saying Mini but with a bad cold, especially with a Brummy accent.

As development neared the final prototype , it emerged what a shit car they’d made and in a fit of Ratneresqe honesty, called it the All Aggro.

By chance, the job of designing the badging, fell to a junior draughtsman with a perchant for opera ,who mistakenly made it into Allegro. By the his mistake was noticed, several thousand badges had been produced and BL’s finances being what they were, the decision was made to run with it.

Subsequently , BL adopted names that conjured up high living , excellence and exotic places, however mundane the reality.

[Metal Guru]

The Rolf Harris ( can we mention him?) song “Two little boys”, was originally about motor racing , the opening lines being , “ Two little boys, had two little toys , each had a wooden Porsche “. It goes on to describe them playing and eventually as adults becoming racing drivers, with the inevitable near fatal crash. Well you know how it goes.

Well Rolf was contacted to the BBC and any mention of brand names was strictly prohibited ,( remember Blue Peter’s “sticky backed plastic”, when the rest of the world just said “Fablon”?), so the lyrics were quickly re-written before he sung it on air for the first time.

Shame the BBC were so obsessed with the no advertising rule but rather more relaxed with the don’t be a paedophile rule.

[ProgRocker]

In 1986 the Sales and Marketing team at Austin Rover Group were considering  launching their cheapest ever car that would undercut the Fiat 126 and Eastern Bloc cars on price.

However, market research indicated that the proposed 850cc Mini 'Tower Hamlets' wouldn't be a sales hit. 

[warren t claim]

On 4/23/2022 at 12:32 AM, Noel Tidybeard said:

as Maxxo is about to report, Citreon XMs are possibly one of the easiest cars to fault find and work on compares to complex hectors like the Morry Soxford and Cord Fortina

As I've said earlier, if you go on Amazon to buy a Haynes manual for an XM, Amazon will tell you that people who bought that item also bought a rope and a stool.

[Metal Guru]

13 hours ago, ProgRocker said:

In 1986 the Sales and Marketing team at Austin Rover Group were considering  launching their cheapest ever car that would undercut the Fiat 126 and Eastern Bloc cars on price.

However, market research indicated that the proposed 850cc Mini 'Tower Hamlets' wouldn't be a sales hit. 

In 2003 the project was resurrected but as usual BL management got it seriously wrong introducing a rebadged Tata that undercut the quality of any western rival but at a higher cost.

Desperately seeking celebrity endorsement , they asked Sean Connery to feature in the advertising campaign. However after driving the car he turned them down, telling them what he thought of it.

However, due to the distinctive accent, the CEO thought Connery said “City Rover”, and so they at least had a name for the dreadful car.