Pointless shite features

[Ratdat]

Economy light on a Nissan Laurel C32. This is on a car with a 2.4 straight six

 

Some big Datsun models have a button on the back of the centre console that the rear seat passengers can use to make the radio self seek. Handy.

 

Nissan Presidents have electric quarter lights front and rear. Decadent!

 

My '76 Datsun 160J SSS has switches that are illuminated using fibre optic cables connected to a single black box containing a bulb. I'm sure that must have been more expensive to implement than just putting a little bulb in each switch!

[dollywobbler]

I'm another who likes a swively sunvisor. Have those who don't never been blinded by sun coming in through the side window? 

 

The Saab's 'night vision' display is a bit silly. It dims everything but the speedometer. Yes, that means you can no longer see the fuel gauge, or the temperature gauge. 

[JohnDeere]

This new feature has recently become an option on VAG cars, and is standard on many higher-spec Audis:

 

 

The "London Mode" button, pictured left, may be manually activated, or can be set in the vehicle menu to be triggered automatically by the GPS once the car crosses the M25.  Once enabled, the vehicle settings are optimised for driving in London.   All rear-view mirrors, indicators and common courtesy are disabled.  Two fixed speeds are available: 5 mph and 50 mph, and the automatic transmission ensures that no gap whatsoever is left between the Audi and the car in front.  The horn note is set louder.   The driver loses all visibility of any vehicles attempting to emerge from a side road, and of any cycles.   Conversely, when the driver is attempting to turn right from a side road, the vehicle is set to block all three lanes of the traffic coming from the right.   The "London Mode" feature is available from VAG dealers for £11.50 per day.

[Inspector Morose]

Having driven round London today, I think it's standard fitment to most vehicles these days.

[Rusty Pelican]

 

Sun visors that hinge round to the side window - anyone actually ever used them like this?

 

 

I tried this once in my Beemer , seems i was the first one ever to try in this car because the pivot was a tad stiff , i forced it round and ripped the fuckin thing off the roof .

So no i dont use this " feature " anymore .

[twosmoke300]

Many many years ago I set off from Cornwall to go to Aberdeen on my own in a skoda Estelle 130 . I left at 7am on boxing day morning in a heavy frost but very bright sunlight. After about 75 miles the road turned to the sun was beating in my drivers side window. So I thought I will swing the sunvisor round. Snap. Skodas don't have that facility so I did 3000 miles that week with no sunvisor. Typically bit was bright sun all week.

[Wilko220]

And the automatic three flashes you now get when you accidentally knock the indicator stalk, so you quickly click the stalk the other way in an attempt to cancel.......

 

 

I absolutely HAT this. What THE HELL is the point other than to piss you off?

[Sigmund Fraud]

Underseal on a ford ka.

 

I disagree. In the vast majority of first generation Ka's on the road today, underseal is what provides most of the torsional rigidity. 

[phil_lihp]

I assume it would go red if it overheated which leads me onto my Visa, which does not have a temperature gauge either but a light which apparently comes on telling you when its overheating. Having driven Imps for so long, this does not sit well with me and I spend most of my time when sat in traffic sweating my bollox off with the heaters on full despite it being hotter than Natalie Dormer outside, in order to stop the overheating before it happens. Need to fit a gauge as I really cant cope with not having one.

They didn't fit a gauge in the AX either. My experience is that the light only comes on to tell you the pistons are white hot, the spark plugs have melted and you can fry an egg on the rocker cover. That would have been a silted up radiator and leaking waterpump then

 

The radiator fan running too often is a much better guide to a hot engine but the gauge would have been nice.

[HH-R]

My mate's Golf Plus has picnic tables in the back but I can't see any way to make the things stay up, so they just flap down and spill Ribena all over your golf clubs/suit jacket hanging on the little hook in the back.

[Herts van Rental]

Anything more than this is just showing off.

 

[Noel Tidybeard]

One of my favourite pointless features is on the first gen Suzuki Wagon R....

 

 

 

 

A useless, daft shaped shopping basket! You're gonna look a right twat walking round the shops carrying that!

its not a shopping basket foo! its the giffer spec emergency toilet !

[dangerousdave]

map pockets in the backs of seats have other good uses like storing cds

one feature on a lot of cars that really annoys me is where you pull the stalk fully back for high beam headlights the amount of times ive flashed someone and put high beam on what happened to pushing the stalk forward

[mat_the_cat]

Pushing the stalk forward for main beam actually bugs me slightly, as it means the stalk isn't where I expect it to be when dipping the lights! So I have to fumble around for it, by which time the person coming towards me has decided to blind me for not dipping my lights. To be fair I've only driven cars like this for short periods, so I might get used to it...

[Hendry]

map pockets in the backs of seats have other good uses like storing cds

one feature on a lot of cars that really annoys me is where you pull the stalk fully back for high beam headlights the amount of times ive flashed someone and put high beam on what happened to pushing the stalk forward

Renaults are bad for this, I've had to adapt the way I use the stalk to flash the headlights so it doesn't pull the stalk to far and permanently engage the main beam.

 

Also what's happened to the setting on the wiper stalk of most cars for a single flick wipe, on my last Astra moving the stalk upwards engaged all the other usual wiper settings but flicking it down gave you one single wipe, on my Clio you need to engage intermittent setting then return to off position.

 

And then there's the most annoying of all, most MINIs (the BMW ones) don't even have an intermittent wiper setting, its either continuous wipe which results in wipers screeching up a dry screen or you need to manually use the flick wipe setting yourself every so often.

[mercrocker]

Pah!   Even my 1959 Austin Seven had intermittent wipers....Poor earth I think it was.

[beko1987]

The rear bench in my ZX 5 door moves forwards and backwards (about 2 inches)

 

It also has a manual rear blind. "Oooh fuck me its a bit sunny. I'll just pull over, open the boot, put the blind up close the boot and crack on...)

[PhilA]

I have to contend a few. Front fog lights, when designed and used properly are incredibly useful in very thick fog. Unfortunately both cases tend to be false. There's little point not being able to switch them on with only your side lights on also. I've had times driving where putting the headlights on blocks the view of the road from the glare but running with side+fog allowed me to see where the road was.

 

Side swiveling visors are useful here, where it's entirely possible to be driving in exactly the same direction for hours.

 

The three-blink turn signal thing seems to fit driving styles here, where it's common to change lanes a fair bit- interstate highway with only two lanes is a good example. Sit back, cruise control on, check mirror, flick stalk, merge across. It also comes into it's own because of the way my rear lights work. If I were just to utilize a single flash whilst I'm braking, only the front light would blink. I have to wait for the "off" before the rear light would go out. So, forcing three flashes 1) wakes up other drivers and 2) makes sure my rear turn signals actually operate.

 

Phil

[Mr Livered]

Because the indicators use the same lights as the brakes?

[twosmoke300]

On yank stuff , yes

[saucedoctor]

Speaking of US tin, those bloody bongers that tell you that the door has been opened. I'm not talking about the one that tells you the lights are on, just that the door is open. I know! I opened it!

 

We had a USA spec Focus saloon in Dubai when I was there, and it cracked me up. (I am easily irritated, mind)

[Lankytim]

My XM has an electrically adjusted armrest. Pointless but I like it!

[Asimo]

Toyota MR2 mk3: a bleeper to tell you that you are in reverse gear.

 

Loud. and distracting and embarrasing. With the top down, in a car park, everyone is looking around for the reversing JCB.

 

Five minutes work with a soldering iron and peace is restored.

[Wilko220]

My XM has an electrically adjusted armrest. Pointless but I like it!

Had electric seats in the 75 which I always found pretty pointless. Just takes a lot longer to adjust your seat!

[mercrocker]

Reminds me....I must find (and kill)  the irritating tweeter that tells me I have left the lights on and taken out the keys in my Merc.    I KNOW How else can I unlock the garage in the bloody dark?   Did we really need this back in 1989?

[beko1987]

Had electric seats in the 75 which I always found pretty pointless. Just takes a lot longer to adjust your seat!

It's annoying when you want to chuck the seat forward in a hurry to get the back seats down. "Hang on, keep holding the heavy thing... brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr OK, back seats down, there we go. Lets go, brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (back)"

[Richard]

The Fuck Knows switch.

 

DSC_2628 by RichardB5, on Flickr

[Richard]

My Transit's stereo has a phone button that just mutes the stereo, I find it quite useful. Much less useful is having the bastard phone in the first place.

[robinmasters]

I have maps in my map pockets. Sat navs are great for telling you which turn to take next, but not much cop for planning a journey. 

 

What I really hate are what used to pass for cup holders. Those picnic tables above have them, as did a lot of glove box lids (Austin Maxi for example). It's just a round indentation, 1/8th" deep-not deep enough to hold a cup when the car's moving. 

[Richard]

That's because people used to stop to have a cup of coffee.