Who owns the fastest shite?

[jmsguzzi]

Shite cars aren't known for being fast but who owns the fastest shite on here, anybody got an Alpine GTA or something that's able to crack 130MPH without involving a Laguna, a cliff and a case of electric handbrake failure? 

[155V6]

My Fiat's meant to do about 155,it's been off the road for 5 years though  

[Junkman]

How's 300+ mph after 4 seconds?

Admittedly I only own part of it though and it hasn't done a full pass yet.

[cort16]

I've got an Jaguar XJR - 0-60 5.3 secs, 155mph limited although not on the shite rear tyres I've got on it. To counter balance it my SD1 once got burned off by a Hyunda AtoZ.

[CortinaDave]

I've got a cortina with back pressure and a diesel MG in limp home mode. Guess it's not me

[Bucketeer]

I'm collecting a free* pez Volvo turbo tomorrow, so it definitely won't be me.

 

_{Unless the AA have significantly beefed up the performance of their wagons.}

[wackywacerwill]

How's 300+ mph after 4 seconds?

Admittedly I only own part of it though and it hasn't done a full pass yet.

Got my interest, do tell.

 

 

I'll still race you all in my 1.9 na dizzler clio.

[Lord Sterling]

Well, I've certainly not got the fastest car by any stretch of the imagination, but it'll crack 130mph with ease (don't ask me how how I know this) and does surprise a lot of road users who think it should be doddling on the inside lane at 40mph. At higher speeds it really does come into its own.

[sheffcortinacentre]

5.0 Cortina on lpg tops out around 135

[vulgalour]

I once managed an indicated 85mph on a private road in my 1.7 Princess.  None of my wheels were balanced, the TREs were both knackered and the suspension was in dire need of a pump up, it probably also had a blown head at the time... and the exhaust was blowing.  That's got to be the equivalent of an internet indicated speed of 250mph, surely?

[Junkman]

Got my interest, do tell.

 

 

I'll still race you all in my 1.9 na dizzler clio.

 

 

[Spiny Norman]

I once wound a 2CV off the end of its speedo slipstreaming a conveniently placed Volvo estate. that's got to worth some shite points.

Having a liking for big old barges gives me an unfair advantage over other shiters though, I've had quite a few cars that were theoretically capable of 140+ although the fastest I've ever driven is probably about 130-ish in a 5 series.

[Skoze]

My Series One Landy will do over 100 with no overdrive, that's not bad going for a 62 year old farm tool. 

 

The Capri's still good for 125 one a private* road with the four speed, too. I love shite-speed. 

[bub2006]

Apparently my fiesta does 0.60 in 9 seconds and tops out about 115. I have seen 110 on the clock with a good travel still left on pedal but i lost my bottle. About 20 mph faster than the merc diesel lost his bottle. Not fast but not too bad for a 13 year old ford fiesta

[dugong]

460 will do 120 if you keep your foot in. I cleaned it and it made no difference to the top speed. I was very upset. 

[Guest Breadvan72]

My Rustoceptor has no chin spoiler and pretty much does a wheely at 130 mph, allegedly.

 

I also have a  Fizzy.  Speed freak, me.

[garethj]

My daily commuter bike was a Kawasaki ZZR1100, I don't remember the 0-60 time, something under 3 seconds I think.  Its quarter mile acceleration was the same as the McLaren F1 road car - under 11 seconds at 135mph.  Top speed was about 175mph.

 

It would also average 48mpg and get through central London traffic faster than anything but a helicopter.  I really really miss that bike, a lot of performance for £1500

[Timewaster]

Sierra Cosworth. Never had it flat out, surprisingly.

[pshome]

Tagora SX was the fastest french salon back in its days .... Mine still has all the horses under the hood. Actually this pic is old, drove it to 210 this weekend on a sunny Autobahn.

 

In fourth it revs a bit higher...

...

 

 than in fifth,

and the "ordinateur de bord" shows only 24 l/100km instead of 28 in 4th, so it's utterly economical too!

 

Even Michel Vaillant praised it, car must have been sold by the millions... didnt it???

 

[Guest Breadvan72]

I got me Murena up to an indicated 205 KPH once, but I think that the speedo was a bullshitter.   At least I gave the Missus a scare as she thought we were doing OMG200MPH. 

[Guest Breadvan72]

Tagora SX was the fastest french salon back in its days .... 

 

  I am not sure that Madame de Pompadour would agree.  Her Salon was pretty racy, they say.

[pshome]

  I am not sure that Madame de Pompadour would agree.  Her Salon was pretty racy, they say.

but that was a one-off... doesn't count!

[NorfolkNWeigh]

This sounds like it could develop into a Shite outing to Santa Pod on a RWYB day or DWYBR? In this case.

[Vince70]

I had a mate years ago who had the fastest ford for miles which could do 150 mph well that's what he would tell everyone..

 

It was an 1100 popular plus with a lopsided zakspeed body kit painted in about 10 shades of white with a lovely rattle can and run finish with the badly filled unrubbed down look...

And the 155 weller wheels hidden someone in the depths of the wheel arches really didn't do it justice.

 

It must of been the pancake air filter and the slick 50 and the special grease he used in the gearbox which boosted the performance and it did have a badly fitted cherry bomb which was held on with exhaust bandages and loads of badly fitted non working gauges stuck to the dash which must of helped..

 

I just wondered how many people he maimed from the badly fitted whiplash aerial which would come undone from its mounting while driving around bends..

 

I really have not seen such a monstrosity on the road since and that's saying a lot since the Corsa/Saxo scene took up the challenge years later....

 

Maybe he was a pioneer in the world of dumb fuck car Chaving.

[seth]

I suspect aerodynamics would kick in y0 with the Herald at 110 ish.  If it would manage to pull to 7000rpm in 4th then that'd be 120.  It'd probably be slower in 5th.

[Guest Breadvan72]

My ex brother in law is a huge bullshitter,  He used to have the world's most shitbag J reg Volvo Estate with some sort of turbocharged POS engine in it, and a metric shit-tonne of old crap in the boot.  He claimed that it was "The fastest car on the roads.  Faster than any Ferrari".  

[beko1987]

Got the XM up to 120 on a private road once, felt utterly at home, however the fuel gague showed me why I can not afford to ever do that again.

 

Got the ZX up to 95 too once, that the fucking scary though as the front lifted off the ground slightly and fucked with the steering, plus once the downhill bit stopped and the uphill bit started I lost all speed. Still, the earbox took a change-down to 4th at 80 without grumbling!

 

Remember a mates 4l Jeep Cherokee (m plater) he had at the time. He'd had some issues with the window switches, culminating in not having any of them working and the windows stuck down. Que 3 of us, 135 with all the windows down, that stupid fuel boost button on. How to rinse £40 pez from Witney - Marlow (when every road was conviniently a private one that morning...) Gearbox shat itself a few weeks later and he sold it quickly before it went really bang!

[Hertz]

My Alpine A610 will apparently crack 165 MPH. Not been passed a century though in case in falls to pieces or explodes....Here it is on a "going" day.

 

[Six-cylinder]

I suspect aerodynamics would kick in y0 with the Herald at 110 ish.  If it would manage to pull to 7000rpm in 4th then that'd be 120.  It'd probably be slower in 5th.

 

I have been told by a Triumph Vitesse owner that down a steep motorway hill a 2.0 overdrive car will pull 6000rpm, 128mph!

[skattrd]

I've had my Renault GTA Turbo up to an indicated 120mph and it had plenty more. Driving home after purchase, I thought, lets see what it can do, next time I looked at the speedo it said 120mph

Lancia Thema 16v turbo got up to 135mph, and still had plenty left.Again whilst driving home after purchase (theres a disused airfield near me).

It depends on what you class as shite though, Hertz has an A610, which would be faster than my GTA.