Selling tips

[Station]

I'm offloading four of my cars starting from January, and looking for some tips.

 

Things I know are:

 

- Don't be too informative in your advert - people seem to take advantage of this

- Don't put too many requirements in the advert warning/threatening people of the consequences of not turning up to the collect the item. This frightens people off, and is generally unread by timewasting knuckle dragging twats

- Do not sell right in the middle of the month, always plan to have ebay auction finish around pay day (end of the month).

- Selling around Christmas is pointless

- But selling in February is quite good (some people want to splurge their first proper paycheque post Christmas?)

- Don't bother with '100 deposit' in ebay adverts - if someone's not going to pay, they're going to bid anyway regardless of deposit. I've put this in before, and have never received a deposit (usually collection is arranged prior).

- DO NOT give the option of meeting half way/delivery - you'll be sat in front of someone's house for 3 hours before heading home - arrange AFTER the sale/money changes hands.

 

Anything else?

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Wrap a £20 note around a wad of cut up newspaper ,roll it with an elastic band then 'hide ' it somewhere that a potential purchaser will see but can't easily reach. That should make haggling a bit easier. This works better with cars likely to have been owned dodgy people Range Rovers, Subarus etc, I once put a bag of chopped up oregano and mint tea taped behind the dash of an RS Turbo ,don't know if it helped,but it went to the first viewer!

[Station]

 I once put a bag of chopped up oregano and mint tea taped behind the dash of an RS Turbo ,don't know if it helped,but it went to the first viewer!

 

I'm guessing because it looks like marijuana?

[Twiggy]

Brilliant Station !

 

One thing I would add - if your selling an estate/MPV, give a clear indication of the size of the space with the rear seats down/folded/removed. Length, width and height, and the units you have used. It`s that part which is important to folk looking for an estate/MPV, and they are rarely stated. Usually it`s "giving a huge boot space - can be used like a van"

[cort16]

Make sure at least one of your pictures has some kind of reflecto porn in it.

[fordperv]

Don't tell the buyer that someone gassed themselves to death in the motor

[Cavcraft]

Definitely DO tell everything you can in the advert, be as informative as possible. There are various reasons for this, from because it's fairly effective against timewasters who jut ask a question for the sake of it, to the pointless tossers who always question the one thing you omitted, then say they wanted the opposite. 

I'm not kidding either, it's where you forget to say that it doesn't have a towbar or forget to mention what gearbox it has, because some turd on Facebook will reply saying that had it had a owbar, was automatic and faced at .03 degrees towards a full moon in Julember, they would have had it.They didn't fucking want it in the first place, it's their stupid attempt to make themselves look like a SRS BYER as they believe it impresses people.

 

Also being up front on the price (I always say I won't answer any 'what's your best price' questions and say offers are welcome when you're stood in front of me) weeds out shit loads of wankers who will just ask the next person on Gumtree what their lowest is, then play him off against every other fucker they've e-mithered that day.

Oh, and just put an e-mail address on to start with, it saves you wasting valuable 'phone credit on those who aren't serious. I often find that within about 3 or 4 emails I know if someone is a knobhead or not. 

[Station]

Definitely DO tell everything you can in the advert, be as informative as possible. There are various reasons for this, from because it's fairly effective against timewasters who jut ask a question for the sake of it, to the pointless tossers who always question the one thing you omitted, then say they wanted the opposite. 

I'm not kidding either, it's where you forget to say that it doesn't have a towbar or forget to mention what gearbox it has, because some turd on Facebook will reply saying that had it had a owbar, was automatic and faced at .03 degrees towards a full moon in Julember, they would have had it.They didn't fucking want it in the first place, it's their stupid attempt to make themselves look like a SRS BYER as they believe it impresses people.

 

I was really talking about going in hefty details. Obviously say if it has a tow bar or not, but listing every servicing date is totally pointless IMO.

[Spiny Norman]

For Gumtree I find the following approach works.

 

State the facts first. Make, exact model, engine size, trim level, year etc, them how much tax and test & the mileage. I think Gumtree does this for you but it's surprising how many people don't read the bit at the top of the ad.

 

A couple of well written paragraphs (I always run it through a spell checker, my spelling isn't too bad but my fingers of ham lead to errors on the keyboard) outlining the condition of the car, mileage, options, etc and I always describe the major good and bad points of the car. If it's got pristine leather upholstery or new tyres then bum it up, likewise if the brakes are shit or the stereo doesn't work tell them. (never fails to amaze me how some people are more obsessed with the radio than they are about things like if the exhaust is held on with coathangers and baling twine) I don't go into too much detail but I cover the main pros and cons.

 

Then take some good photos, and add a line about your T&C. As Cav says, the twats will still try their best, and using only the email option is a must at first. That gives you all the info you need to decide if you're dealing with a time waster. I don't even answer 'WILL U TAK 400 TOMOZ" mongs.

I generally do quite well advertising cars and other bits on Gumtree, you do get the odd wanker but I find I can weed them out pretty easily.

 

[Micrashed]

DONT  WRITE AN ADVERT IN 42PT SIZE IN A VARIETY OF LURID COLOURS OR WACKY FONTS.

[Cavcraft]

DONT  WRITE AN ADVERT IN 42PT SIZE IN A VARIETY OF LURID COLOURS OR WACKY FONTS.

 

You are ThreeSavvy aicmfp.

[Micrashed]

Ensure you submit a clear photograph of the actual car you are selling rather than a photograph of one similar that you found on Wikipedia taken on your shitty Nokia...

[purplebargeken]

Or you could give your car to me to and I can sell it for you 'cos I iz the current god of car sales*

[Hertz]

Put "No warranty implied or given" on the receipt to stop chancers ringing up 3 weeks later expecting you to fork out for a new battery or such like when it fails!

[Pillock]

Keep it simple - offer the car, list SOME good points (like, the ones that are actually worth mentioning such as service history, new parts, extras) but forget Dr levels of tosspottery. Nobody cares if the first owner of your car was a nurse from Southampton who only used it to blah blah blah see I've given up already because I'm boring myself to tears.

 

Likewise, list the major bad parts. If three of the wheels are missing, mention it. If you can't get oil to stay in the sump longer than five minutes, mention that. Anything really that'll stop the buyer making it home or make them knock money off. Don't list every scratch, dent or missing valve cap. Take photos of anything you mention. Don't overdo the photos though - one from each corner, an underbonnet shot (which is handy in case someone like us is working out what fuel pump it has or whatever), front seats and back seats. Decent photos will show damage so don't go taking pictures of every rust bleb.

 

Mileage, MOT and Tax durations are a must. Also mentioning if any paperwork is missing is good.

 

And don't use text speak. 

[seacow]

I would start the auction at zip with a reserve if you wish - auctions in my experience do much better than classifieds even with a best offer.

 

I wouldn't put anything about warranty - unless you're a trader there is no come back and it makes you wary that there is something wrong!

 

Unless you are giving away make sure there is some MOT - especially nothing like MOT just run out but no reason it won't pass - pay the 40 quid and get it done!!

[Pillock]

And don't be nice. Don't offer to deliver for peanuts, or meet someone somewhere. They'll take advantage of you.

Wait until the deal is made, and if the buyer is nice then you can meet them or whatever. If the buyer is a knuckle-dragging idiot then you've not promised anything.

[HMC]

I personally have tired of e bay for selling cars. So much bloody hassle!

 

On the basis what one of us is likely to have been interested enough in to buy is likely to interest another, I find this forum is a brilliant resource. I work on the basis of selling as i would wish to buy, aka be honest, plus something with at least some tax and test helps, and the (usual) mutual goodwill of the forum tends to mean both parties enter into the deal in the right spirit. My personal dislike is that panic when your in an unfamiliar place, in an unfamiliar car, with the fuel light shining at you from the dash, so i usually make sure theres a bit of fuel in to make it a bit less stressful for the buyer. Been there, done that!

[CortinaDave]

I always stick by the "First to the door with pound notes gets it" rule. If someone gets in touch telling you how DESPERATE they are but have to wait until payday etc and can you please hold it - they WILL disappear into thin air, and you'll be left with that car which by now will have been seen on the classifieds for a few weeks and folk will suspect must have something wrong with it to not have sold by now.

[derskine]

I personally hate when people write ads in yellow so you have to highlight the whole thing to read it...

[sierraman]

A few pointers of mine.

 

Set the price at a really obscure figure like £599. No rhyme or reason, just looks good

 

Use litres of tyre black and Holts Wheel Silver on the tyres and tailpipe respectively.

 

Collect several dog eared receipts for petrol, air freshners, cat meat etc to give the service history some provenance

 

Some good photographs, took ideally at night from a distance with your finger over part of the lens on a Nokia 3300

 

Stock up on easy start, STP oil stop, radweld etc in case of any pre viewing warming the car up dramas

 

A quick 30 mile round trip 1/2 hour before a viewing get it nice and warm

 

Hope this helps

[Jim Bell]

Classified eBay ad @ asking price plus £100.

Filter the wasters/dreamers (me) at your leisure.

Sell to the first person to arrive at the car for £200 below asking price. Cancel eBay listing.

Celebrate with pie and pint.

[Bren]

webuyanycar.com

 

Be prepared to field such gems as "Is there any petrol in it?" "Best price for cash m8" and "would you swap for a saab with a rumbling bottom end?"

 

Unfortunately the banks are sticking to their cash like stink on shit, people literally expect stuff for beer money as they have nothing (times of austerity - "were all in this together"). There are a minority of serious buyers who will not muck you about, however these are dwarfed by the great unwashed who want some thing modern, clean and tidy for less than they paid for their 42" flat screen at bright house.

 

If the buyer is asian, be prepared for some drawn out haggling - when my brother has advertised cars in the past if an asian rings up he puts the phone down immediately - he does'nt like the rigmarole for the sake of knocking £50 off, however it is how they do business.

 

Me personally, ebay and gumtree are last resort.

[New POD]

It's a while since a sold a normal car, the last 3 have been advertised on pistonheads ..classic mini with a link from a few mini based forums to my advert, or sold to people in the relevant owners club, that had previously expressed an interest (mk2 cavaliers).

other than that I negotiated with a specialist Volvo breaker, and 3 insurance companies, who for some reason wanted to buy a badly damaged mk3 astra, but didn't seem keen to pay the retail price I expected (yes wrote off 3 of them in 8 years.

 

Last proper car I sold was an XR3i D reg with some little dents, and rust but a full MOT. I put in the advert: The boot lid is very rusty, the paintwork is not exactly the best. A bloke came and said "the boot is rusty and the paint isn't very good. I'll give you £250."....I'd got it advertised at £650, so I said "Fuck Off. Now" and locked the car, and went inside. He then started knocking on the door, so I told him the price to him was now £1050, and if he could list £400 worth of faults not mentioned, he could have it for £650. And the next day, a bloke came and paid £625.

[twosmoke300]

^^^

My dad used to be a van dealer and I've seen him do things like that to people that have been pissing him around.

His favourite was to put the sold sign on it , lock it up and walk away not saying a word. Then wait for them to knock on the door and say that it's not for sale anymore as he has had too many timewasting tossers looking at it .

[anonymous user]

I suggest a Raymanboy style advert, especially if you include an unrelated, psychedelic, video of yourself playing the piano whilst wearing a wig and a dress, the buyers will be queuing up.

[willswitchengage]

Be honest.

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Renault-Grand-Espace-3-5-V6-Spares-or-repair-/321105868896?_trksid=p2047675.l2557&ssPageName=STRK%3AMEWAX%3AIT&nma=true&si=%252B0ionbbxwVof43OvVkyGhJN4Kzw%253D&orig_cvip=true&rt=nc

 

 

 

For sale is my wife's Renault Grand Espace fitted with the 3.5 V6 petrol engine. I can honestly say that this is the most troublesome car I have ever had the misfortune to waste my money on. I think we've owned it for just over two years, although it seems much longer than that. It's been used predominantly for the school run, so is festooned with crisp bags, feet marks, finger prints and a variety of indescribable things stuck to the carpets. It is built with typical French resilience, so there are bits missing and broken off all over. Since being lumbered with it it has had numerous new, extortionately priced parts, including but not limited to:

• New brake discs and pads all round £600
• New starter motor £575. Laughable French pricing.
• Front bottom suspension arms £300
• New alternator which is now broken and fries batteries until they explode
• New key £250, only to find the old key was fine and it was the key reader at £300, hence the old bus has two keys and Renault win £250
• New electric steering lock £300
• New engine mounts £150
• New front suspension spring

It's also got four 245/45 ZR18 tyres that are nearly new, though the wheels are scabby as they have been painted with French paint that is useless at protecting metal and has blown off in the wind. It has got full leather that is in great condition, and you can even adjust the front seats backwards and forwards as they do not have stupid French electrics and so still work. It has inbuilt reversing sensors which work fine once you have reversed into whatever is behind you. 

 

I am selling it now as I refuse to support the French economy any longer by buying things from Renault, who incidentally are hopeless. Upon the dashboard lighting up telling me the anti pollution monitor was faulty, Renault in their infinite wisdom informed me it was probably a spurious alarm caused by a weakened battery caused due to too many short journeys. Interpret this as 'we don't know what is wrong with it as it is far too complicated for its own good and our technicians can't use the diagnosis equipment, they can only put over priced oil into new cars'.They recommended a 'good run out to charge the battery'. They then increased the French economy by 80 quid in return for switching off the light with their French super-computer. So, off we set for a 'long' run to the mother in law's, during which the alternator began producing 18V, set off every light, buzzer and fault warning under the sun, and also blew up the battery. The inside of the car now stinks of rotten eggs from the explosion of sulphuric acid from the poor battery, either that or one of the kids has left a surprise for the new owner somewhere in the car. Back on the AA van it went (it has done almost as many miles on the back of a recovery truck than it has under its own power), and now it waits for a new alternator and battery, which of course it is not going to get from me. 

 

So there you have it, up for spares or repair, I can get £250 scrap for it without having to fork out £30 for the fees ebay will charge me for the priviledge of hawking it on here, so £280 is what I'm after. I may break it if there are any other poor souls with one of these French marvels that need bits, but to be honest I'd rather it just went as a whole. I should list some good points about the car, but there aren't any. Cash only.

Happy bidding.

 

If you want to drive it home just bring half a dozen batteries and a spanner and you'll be fine.

[Micrashed]

I once did an epic "comedy" ebay write up involving aliens, Fleetwood and George Formby in order to advertise a Citroen BX (this one)

Bangernomics by Micrashed, on Flickr

Amazingly against all common sense it sold. For what I paid for it.

[sierraman]

Be unrealisticly optimistic about trivial faults...

 

...the bottom end does rumble but I've been told by my nan's cleaner it's a simple 10 minute tightening up job on the crankcase. No time todo this however...

 

...needs welding to sills inner and outer, floors and strut mounts, clutch replacing and leaky heater matrix swapping. Easy weekends work and back on the road

[DSdriver]

Always make sure it is raining when somebody comes to inspect - the paintwork will look much better. Or if you are looking to trade the car in get the dealer to inspect it in the rain.

 

The following misinformation worked well in the ad for the XM I bought.

 

Describe a one inch diameter hole in the stop light lens as "a cracked rear right lens".

 

Describe an exhaust pipe made of cheese that you can see clear through as a "slight exhaust leak"