Pointless Car Features

[Justin Case]

If I could figure out what any of the mass of tiny buttons on an Insignia dashboard do, I would be able to tell you if they are pointless or not.

[aled]

indicators, well some people tend to use them as optional extras on their cars---- they tend not to have them fitted (or think they are not fitted).

[Rusty Pelican]

Talking of indicators , anyone got a car that the self cancelling actually cancels when you want it to and not before or during the turn , unless the bends at right angles my Beemer,s not got a clue whats going on

[aled]

Talking of indicators , anyone got a car that the self cancelling actually cancels when you want it to and not before or during the turn , unless the bends at right angles my Beemer,s not got a clue whats going on

 

the imp ones are quite good ----when they work.

[M'coli]

Re cruise control - on certain cars it's great. I used it on a petrol Insignia hire car in 2009 to go from Solihull to Yorkshire and got 43mpg out of it. It was great on the M1 roadworks bit, set it to 50 and don't worry about the average speed cameras. Outside of there, I would bump the speed on cruise up and down as need be to deal with traffic situations as and before they arose, anticipation was everything.

 

It was absolutely fucking vital as it turned out, I've got an old hip/thigh injury that doesn't like being squashed into sports seats so had leg cramps from about 45 minutes in on the southbound journey, only sorted out when I started footering about with the buttons on the steering wheel.

[wuvvum]

130 MPH speedo on a 1.6 Cortina

On a similar note, the 160 mph speedo on "smiley" Transits. My 190 TD ran out of revs at 85 in fifth.

 

I dislike automatic wipers intensely. The only two cars I've owned that were thus equipped (406 and 166) had the auto function in place of the intermittent function, so if it was drizzling you had no choice but to leave it to the computer, which had schizophrenia on both cars. My dad's C4 is no better, but at least that has an intermittent setting as well.

 

I've had two cars with auto headlights - the Lexus, which would flip the sidelights on readily enough but wouldn't switch on the headlights unless it was pitch black, and the Cadillac, which would switch the headlights on unless it had a high noon sun shining directly on the sensor. A completely pointless feature from my point of view, but could be useful to the mongs who pull out of a petrol station at night and then drive the next three miles with no lights on until they finally work out why everyone is flashing at them.

 

Also, the stupid indicator stalks on Vectra C's (and, I believe, a selection of other Vauxhalls).

[dollywobbler]

Toggle indicators. What a stupid idea. I LIKE the fact that the stalk stays in position when an indicator is in use - I can feel if I'm still indicating without having to look at anything (the ticker is quiet in the BX). Also, is it just me or do you see a lot of people now having indicator trouble ie accidentally indicating the wrong way when they're just trying to turn the indicator off? Just a reinvention for the sake of reinvention.

 

I like cruise control too. Best on a BMW with an econometer, so you can see the engine's efforts when on hills etc.

[Cavcraft]

Vectra 'C' self cancellers are absolute wank. A bit like the three pence to make, two hundred quid to buy sensors they fitted all over the fucking engine bay.

 

In an extremely rare moment of madness I'm now going to say something nice about Ivecos: it seems pointless having a tacho that goes up to 80mph when quite clearly the 6 cylinder ones and the 2.8 Daily models will exceed that without trying.

 

*I do understand there's some sort of law regarding the top speed on tachographs.

[dollywobbler]

That's a good one actually Cav - the US rules insisted on an 85mph speedo for a time, even though cars could exceed this (like the DeLorean for example). A great example of bureaucratic FAIL.

[myglaren]

130 MPH speedo on a 1.6 Cortina

On a similar note, the 160 mph speedo on "smiley" Transits. My 190 TD ran out of revs at 85 in fifth.

 

I dislike automatic wipers intensely. The only two cars I've owned that were thus equipped (406 and 166) had the auto function in place of the intermittent function, so if it was drizzling you had no choice but to leave it to the computer, which had schizophrenia on both cars. My dad's C4 is no better, but at least that has an intermittent setting as well.

 

I've had two cars with auto headlights - the Lexus, which would flip the sidelights on readily enough but wouldn't switch on the headlights unless it was pitch black, and the Cadillac, which would switch the headlights on unless it had a high noon sun shining directly on the sensor. A completely pointless feature from my point of view, but could be useful to the mongs who pull out of a petrol station at night and then drive the next three miles with no lights on until they finally work out why everyone is flashing at them.

 

Also, the stupid indicator stalks on Vectra C's (and, I believe, a selection of other Vauxhalls).

 

 

I like the auto headlights on the C5 but on a few occasions recently, after filling up (always at night) they decided not to bother Work fine in daylight though

[Pillock]

One thing the latest Astra seemed to get right. A dial for temperature, and then three buttons - face, feet, screen. Press them and then turn on so you can have any combination, unlike a lot of cars that just offer you random selections of the three. If I want a hot face, I make the face icon light up. Sorted.

 

Pointless gizmo: The Golf had directional headlamps.... I found these no use whatsoever but can imagine them being mega bucks to repair when a stone goes through the glass.

[Split_Pin]

I thought the cruise control on Fatha_L's Volvo S60 was excellent when my fiancee and I borrowed it to drive down to the NEC in October. It did lots of things I didnt know cruise could do, such as the 'resume' function after a slower car pulls back into the inside lane.

 

However, the climate control on it has me completely boggled. I usually like a gentle breeze on the screen on a cold day just to keep it clear but I can only seem to make the system practically blow the screen out when I press the 'screen' button on the fascia.

[dollywobbler]

I thought the cruise control on Fatha_L's Volvo S60 was excellent when my fiancee and I borrowed it to drive down to the NEC in October. It did lots of things I didnt know cruise could do, such as the 'resume' function after a slower car pulls back into the inside lane.

 

However, the climate control on it has me completely boggled. I usually like a gentle breeze on the screen on a cold day just to keep it clear but I can only seem to make the system practically blow the screen out when I press the 'screen' button on the fascia.

 

That'll be the demist function. If aircon is fitted, the windscreen should stay clear anyway as the system dries out the air. Something I don't like as my sinuses hate it.

[Pete-M]

One thing the latest Astra seemed to get right. A dial for temperature, and then three buttons - face, feet, screen. Press them and then turn on so you can have any combination, unlike a lot of cars that just offer you random selections of the three. If I want a hot face, I make the face icon light up. Sorted.

 

Pointless gizmo: The Golf had directional headlamps.... I found these no use whatsoever but can imagine them being mega bucks to repair when a stone goes through the glass.

 

I don't get how people have so much trouble with climate control. I've never had a problem with it.

 

Examples;

 

In the Jag, I set the temperature to 22°C and press "Auto". That's it. Job done. Other than every now and then using the 'defrost' setting for a few minutes on the way to work that is all I've ever had to do with it. Summer 22°C, Auto. Winter 22°C, Auto.

 

In the cars in work I do the exact same thing, on the Skodas I set the temp with a dial instead of buttons, and the distribution dial to somewhere between the dash vents and floor ones. As long as the A/C is on (I never switch it off, ever) the windows won't steam up anyway. Everything else just set to 22°C and Auto.

 

The whole idea of climate control is basically so you don't have to mess about with it, just set and forget. Wonderful thing about A/C is that it's a dehumidifier, so as long as the AC is on, the windows won't steam up.

 

I don't understand people who's idea of operating a heater is to put it on full blast, full temp for 10 minutes, then turn it down to sub-zero, then back up to full again and then complain that the heater is too hard to operate. Just set it and leave the bloody thing alone!

[Albert Ross]

If I could figure out what any of the mass of tiny buttons on an Insignia dashboard do, I would be able to tell you if they are pointless or not.

 

It's OK, the Insignia is a pointless car. It has the looks of a warthog with someone's hand up it's arse, they're all grey or silver, The new Edsel! THere's about 15-20 recalls/reworks live on them at the minute..... Tells me everything. I work in a Vauxhall dealer. Bring back the Mk2 Cavalier please.

 

 

Other pointless features? I get electric heated mirrors, but why make the driver's side electric? Surely the knob is in the same place as an internal remote adjuster would sit. My 1991 S-Class had a manual driver's, and electric passenger mirror. I approved of that. It did, however have electric column adjust, and heated rear carpets.......! Yes, really, it did! And they worked. (Like electric blankets for your feet)

[catsinthewelder]

HEATED FOOTWELL CARPETS can someone fit them to everything that I drive................Please?

 

I'm not sure if this is a bit off topic, but I can't stand dash lights that come on with the ignition. I spent a couple of weeks driving one of Enterprises Vectra C's a while back and repeatedly drove around town with no lights on at night. No wonder Vauxhall's started fitting auto headlights to everything. That said, the old guy that I work with has an 07 plate Zafira that has all this auto tat. He let the missis have the keys to drive him to the pub and back and being on autopilot she turned the lights off with the engine. It took him a worryingly long time to notice that the lights wern't on auto anymore

 

So constant lit dashboards, an even worse BX feature than the interesting screenwash diversion array

[Pete-M]

So constant lit dashboards,

 

Don't drive an Audi then.

 

or a Skoda, Toyota, Lexus, Pauxhall or anything with a digital or tft dash...

 

I'm actually wondering if it's a legal requirement somewhere as it seems very common on brand new stuff.

[Mash]

Seat reclining levers are a nuisance - My Starlet has it combined with the tilt so every time someone gets in the back or I put a bag or summat in there I have to reset the driver's seat.

On the other hand it does have a separate control for the washers which is brilliant as I have complete control over it and I can check if they're frozen or not.

 

I like stuff like electric mirrors and cruise control but a lot of leccy stuff is pointless. I noticed the ad for the Passat the other day saying is has "anti-fatigue" or something. Is it too much to hope it's a spike that comes out of the steering wheel?

[AnthonyG]

The following are pointless/annoying in my opinion.

 

ABS: Expensive to fix and doesnt slow the car down any quicker.

Traction control: Expensixe to fix and does not improve traction enough to stop you getting stuck in the snow.

Power Steering: Expensive to fix.

Electric windows: Tempramental when the system gets old

Air conditioning: Not normally a DIY job to fix, therefore expensive when the system leaks or the condenser rots. Winding down the window is perfectly sufficient.

 

If you buy a decent car, most of these things work for the designed life of the vehicles (15 years or so).

 

Of course if you buy a Citroen or similar they may be a source of expense and pain from day one. ABS is very useful, and so is traction control in certain conditions.

[Skizzer]

Rain-sensing wipers. They were a non-optional option on my Skoda and when there's any spray - i.e. on any fast road from October to March - they are always on continuous wipe, thereby smearing a completely opaque layer of muddy salt all over the windscreen. After 700 miles of DIY intermittent wipe over Christmas I was really effing pissed off with it.

[Negative Creep]

Another one is my MR2 has the light level switch for up to 3 passengers. Also electric seats are a complete waste of time, they are far slower than manual ones and weigh an absolute tonne

[Skizzer]

...and weigh an absolute tonne

 

Good to see you've gone metric there

 

+1 re electric seats. If we have to have taxes on cars, it should be based on the total weight of electric motors, actuators and solenoids in the vehicle.

[trigger]

A work mate gave me a lift home recently in his Hyundai 4x4 thing, I thought i had pissed my pants until i realised he had his heated seats on.

[chaseracer]

Talking of indicators , anyone got a car that the self cancelling actually cancels when you want it to and not before or during the turn , unless the bends at right angles my Beemer,s not got a clue whats going on

I still cancel the indicators myself most of the time, whatever I'm driving - a habit formed from long familiarity with old Citroens and 20 years of owning the same Dyane!

[chaseracer]

...US rules insisted on an 85mph speedo for a time, even though cars could exceed this (like the DeLorean for example)...

88, wasn't it...?

[scaryoldcortina]

I have electric seats in one of my cortinas.... theey came out of a volvo C70, nice comfy half leather jobbies, and they work nicely, have a better range of adjustment than the original seats and weigh less too (alloy and foam verses iron and horsehair...)

[babydriver]

The Heater in my Xsara saloon is pretty wank infact i think I will give it to my son who keeps mythering the doo dahs off me to sell it to him, I am a mardy Southerner in the North West and feel the cold, I want hot, Hot & Hot, if I switch to air recycle to try and save a few degrees the Xsara just gets moist all over the place and I have to open a window.

[CIH]

Sport Suspension in a VW Touran.

[seth]

HEATED FOOTWELL CARPETS can someone fit them to everything that I drive................Please?

 

Our cars tend to have them, at least on one side, due to the necessity to run the exhaust very close to the floor. GR8 4 keeping takeaway food warm on the way home.

 

Most of the things mentioned in the thread do have a point, that being automation/labour saving. Unfortunately most "labour saving" electronic devices tend not to do what the rather more advanced human brain wants them to do a lot of the time. Hence all the complaints of canceling indicators and auto wipers. The solution to this is to drive cars fitted with on/off switches operated by hand.

[theorganist]

Sports mode on our Pug 206 1.4 automatic. All it does is use more fuel and makes you sound like a boy racer!!