Cars where performing a task that's usually a piece of piss but on this car it's actually a total pain in the arse

[twosmoke300]

Turbo on a 4wd Renault Kadjar . Gearbox out first . Fucking ridiculous 

[bangernomics]

Adjusting the hymer headlights (pov 2001 model i own) from lhd to rhd which is supposed to be a convenience feature.

Bumper off if it’ll come off. About 2-3hours. Screw that.

[twosmoke300]

Window regs on certain VAG cars . 
 

you have a choice

 

Remove the entire outer door skin ( and still have to take the inner door car off) 

Or pop riveted in plate that holds the entire reg . Massive pop rivets that are too big for most guns 

My personal fave - the plastic double roll pins that hold the reg to the glass . Even better when combined with the riveted in plate . So you when you push the plastic pin through the glass you have to re rivet ( at least the two you put in to hold it ) 

You get quite quick at them really tho cos you see so many 

[Popsicle]

Inboard rear brakes on series 1, 2 & 3 xj jags, I always hated working on them.

Vectra C front indicator bulb, its trapped against the inner wing, so bumper off to remove the headlight unit.

[GMcD]

Simple service jobs:

The C18NZ engined Cav. You have to remove the engine mount and split it to change the auxiliary belt. 

MK2 Mx5 - when doing the belt removing the alternator pivot bolt was a pain in the arse as it's fed from the back, which is awkward enough to get to. It also welds itself stuck. 

[DavieW]

Front bumper needs to come off on a FIAT 500 to change the bottom suspension arms.

[Metal Guru]

6 hours ago, warren t claim said:

Isn't swapping the spark plugs on a V6 Espace an engine out job?

Didn’t the R5 have one inaccessible spark plug too?

[Conan]

A lot of pick up trucks (and I mean A LOT), always required cab off with some jobs behind the engine now. One that come to mind immediately is the Navara/X-Class/Alaskan with 2.3-litre Renault M9T engine in longitudinal application where in order to replace the high pressure fuel pump you have to do cab off. This is certainly not the only case as well, as some full size US truck are the same.

Granted, when a design required cab off for any repair, they usually make the cab off operation quite easy if you're a methodological mechanic, but if you're a monkey with a spanner there's no escape it's a herculean 15-20 man hours task. And yet, it's usually still less time than taking only the engine out as well due to how tightly packed everything is these days.

[twosmoke300]

7 hours ago, DavieW said:

Front bumper needs to come off on a FIAT 500 to change the bottom suspension arms.

Oh yeh - pollen filter on these usually means taking the lower part of the steering column off. 

[RichardK]

I mean - there are so many, but do you mean by design or because the car is a bastard that hates you?

HR-V - swapping the alternator took four hours, 3:50 of which was trying to get the damn thing back into the bracket for the long bolt. Should have been easy.

BMW X3 rear dampers: one bolt at the bottom, one bolt at the top, but about 14 pieces of interior trim, countless screws and clips, and fossilised sound deadening mat to remove to get to the top ones. No shortcuts - everything is layered.

(But the X3 is like that everywhere. PCV valve? Cowling out first. Water pump? Easier if you take the front end off the car).

Spark plugs on V6 Chrysler Voyager - "First, remove the windscreen wipers" 

Air filter on an FD3 RX7 - usually one hose per side? No! More like five hoses to remove to get the lid off!

[Bmwdumptruck]

9 hours ago, Asimo said:

2019 Dacia Duster. (Wife’s)

Electric windows. They won’t work unless the engine is running. So if one is open when I park it, then I have to go find the (keyless) dongle thing, get in and press the brake pedal, start the engine and only then can I close the window.

 

Have you tried holding the lock button for ten seconds or so to see if they will auto close like most do these days? Even my VX combo van does it. 

[artdjones]

9 hours ago, Asimo said:

2019 Dacia Duster. (Wife’s)

Electric windows. They won’t work unless the engine is running. So if one is open when I park it, then I have to go find the (keyless) dongle thing, get in and press the brake pedal, start the engine and only then can I close the window.

 

That seems a bit late for a Renault derived car not to have global closing. Where you press and hold the lock button for a few seconds and all the open windows close. Especially as you have keyless go.

[J-T]

Oil filter on an Alfa 147 GTA. It’s right up against the bulkhead with all manner of power steering lines and exhaust in the way.

If you follow the factory method, step 1 is ‘remove downpipe’.

[grogee]

50 minutes ago, J-T said:

Oil filter on an Alfa 147 GTA. It’s right up against the bulkhead with all manner of power steering lines and exhaust in the way.

If you follow the factory method, step 1 is ‘remove downpipe’.

159 1.9 jtd isn't much fun either. Oil filter cap has a stupid many-fluted design specific to Alfa (Saab and GM put a hex on the end of theirs; same engine). 

Access is through the wheel arch and needs a selection of extensions. 

Also the sump plug is right next to the subframe. Fine if it's not been done up by an ape but I needed to lever the engine aside to get a six sided socket and breaker bar on it. Then do the reverse once it was cracked off. 

Valve clearances on an o-series without the BL special tool can fuck off, too. 

EDIT: @Bren beat me to it

[grogee]

5 hours ago, Conan said:

A lot of pick up trucks (and I mean A LOT), always required cab off with some jobs behind the engine now. One that come to mind immediately is the Navara/X-Class/Alaskan with 2.3-litre Renault M9T engine in longitudinal application where in order to replace the high pressure fuel pump you have to do cab off. This is certainly not the only case as well, as some full size US truck are the same.

Granted, when a design required cab off for any repair, they usually make the cab off operation quite easy if you're a methodological mechanic, but if you're a monkey with a spanner there's no escape it's a herculean 15-20 man hours task. And yet, it's usually still less time than taking only the engine out as well due to how tightly packed everything is these days.

Disco III/IV TDV6 turbo as well... Someone may have a workaround seeing as TADTS

[louiepj]

I had this issue with our renner grand scenic till I realised I could double press lock button for global closure of windows.

[twosmoke300]

1 hour ago, RichardK said:

I mean - there are so many, but do you mean by design or because the car is a bastard that hates you?

HR-V - swapping the alternator took four hours, 3:50 of which was trying to get the damn thing back into the bracket for the long bolt. Should have been easy.

BMW X3 rear dampers: one bolt at the bottom, one bolt at the top, but about 14 pieces of interior trim, countless screws and clips, and fossilised sound deadening mat to remove to get to the top ones. No shortcuts - everything is layered.

(But the X3 is like that everywhere. PCV valve? Cowling out first. Water pump? Easier if you take the front end off the car).

Spark plugs on V6 Chrysler Voyager - "First, remove the windscreen wipers" 

Air filter on an FD3 RX7 - usually one hose per side? No! More like five hoses to remove to get the lid off!

For alternators with the sliding sleeve on the long bolt - when the alternator is off, screw the long bolt partially into the sliding sleeve - as if it’s fitted if that makes sense . Then rest the alternator on a vice and give the head of the bolt a tap with a hammer and it will slide the sleeve out a bit and the alternator will drop straight on 

[sierraman]

2.0TDCI (Peugeot unit) Turbo removal. It makes my neck hurt thinking about it. 

[Rust Collector]

24 minutes ago, grogee said:

Disco III/IV TDV6 turbo as well... Someone may have a workaround seeing as TADTS

I’m surprised it took so long for the Disco 3 to come up, and that nobody has pointed out that you need to take the body off the chassis to put diesel in it/put the key in the ignition/because it’s the second Wednesday of the month etc.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Starter motor on W12 VAGs is engine out then 8 hrs using a special Bentley engine stand. Or drop the fucker onto some pallets then swear at it for half a day in Polish if you’re my brother’s neighbour Antosh. Apparently he charged the owner a Grand and he was well made up, God knows what Bentley would charge.

[sierraman]

Trouble is when you take an engine out you think ‘might as well change the clutch, then you find the DMF is out of spec, then you find something is leaking the list fucking goes on… 

[bigstraight6]

Oil filter on a MK1 Clio 1.2 petrol, it’s the size of a thimble and very close to the subframe and causes me to use the word cunt many times once a year.

[Rust Collector]

5 minutes ago, NorfolkNWeigh said:

Starter motor on W12 VAGs is engine out then 8 hrs using a special Bentley engine stand. Or drop the fucker onto some pallets then swear at it for half a day in Polish if you’re my brother’s neighbour Antosh. Apparently he charged the owner a Grand and he was well made up, God knows what Bentley would charge.

I was about to complain about the starter motor on the Toyota/Lexus V8, which lives in the valley of the V. I don’t think I will now though 😅

[djoptix]

8 minutes ago, NorfolkNWeigh said:

drop the fucker onto some pallets then swear at it for half a day in Polish if you’re my brother’s neighbour Antosh

Please, please get Antosh to start a "tales" thread here.

[Urko]

13 hours ago, bigstraight6 said:

Fuck that (not in relation to Katie Price lower cave area’s) any motor that needs that level of work just to replace a headlamp bulb is ridiculous.

Would be a good candidate for EU reg. Instead of type approving retina burning headlights and pop bang engine maps for twats and mandating tyre pressure warning shite why couldn't they legislate something useful like minimum standards for easy headlamp bulb replacement.

[twosmoke300]

38 minutes ago, djoptix said:

Please, please get Antosh to start a "tales" thread here.

Look at all the bits I saved ! 😂

[IronStar]

1 hour ago, grogee said:

159 1.9 jtd isn't much fun either. Oil filter cap has a stupid many-fluted design specific to Alfa (Saab and GM put a hex on the end of theirs; same engine). 

Access is through the wheel arch and needs a selection of extensions. 

Also the sump plug is right next to the subframe. Fine if it's not been done up by an ape but I needed to lever the engine aside to get a six sided socket and breaker bar on it. Then do the reverse once it was cracked off. 

Valve clearances on an o-series without the BL special tool can fuck off, too. 

EDIT: @Bren beat me to it

159 1.9 JTDM gets a honorable “why?” for air filter as well. Under the engine by the wheel, requires removal of an undertray. Much easier if undertray is missing, and fairly simple on ramp, but with undertray there and doing it on a drive it’s just so pointlessly difficult. 

[grogee]

3 minutes ago, IronStar said:

159 1.9 JTDM gets a honorable “why?” for air filter as well. Under the engine by the wheel, requires removal of an undertray. Much easier if undertray is missing, and fairly simple on ramp, but with undertray there and doing it on a drive it’s just so pointlessly difficult. 

Oh yeah I'd forgotten about that! What a piece of shit. Saab 9-5 as well I think. 

Strategically placed so that if you try to ford more than two inches of standing water the engine will hydrolock quicker that you can say, "Alfa dealer customer service". 

[IronStar]

4 minutes ago, grogee said:

Oh yeah I'd forgotten about that! What a piece of shit. Saab 9-5 as well I think. 

Strategically placed so that if you try to ford more than two inches of standing water the engine will hydrolock quicker that you can say, "Alfa dealer customer service". 

Pathetic plastic casing as well, ripe for being taken out by a stone, or really anything that gets tossed up. No way to see it until car is next on the ramp for service. 🙄

[DSdriver]

Saab 9-3  aircon condenser strategically positioned to be easily impacted by stones.

Not on topic but still annoying.