You're not a petrolhead until...

[83C]

When you’re looking at the back garden and wondering how much of it you can get away with paving over to use as additional car storage.

[MiniMinorMk3]

14 hours ago, High Jetter said:

....you write to manufacturers to get them to send you catalogues of their shiny 70s metal, as a 10yo

(Yes, I still have most of them)

Or you write to all the F1 teams asking for stickers. (Tyrrell, JPS Lotus, McLaren etc etc)

(I do not have them anymore as I stuck them on stuff that has long been skipped, crushed or dumped.)

[MiniMinorMk3]

You have sampled the delights of everyone's favourite Italian car maker

[New POD]

You are not a petrol head until you are under a mk2 cavalier or mini 850 and find the petrol hose is leaking all over your head face and neck. 

 

[DSdriver]

5 hours ago, 83C said:

When you’re looking at the back garden and wondering how much of it you can get away with paving over to use as additional car storage.

A neighbour, talking about the house he just bought, reckons he can get about nineteen cars down the side of the house into the back garden, to which I replied "Is that before your wife complains?"

[straightSix]

5 hours ago, 83C said:

When you’re looking at the back garden and wondering how much of it you can get away with paving over to use as additional car storage.

I've often thought of starting a "Zoopla but for car guys" type website 😂 basically only for selling houses that have a garage, out houses for car storage and that kind of thing 

[camryv6]

On 19/07/2024 at 22:30, Matty said:

I'm really annoyed I didn't do that now 🤣

Me too, it never crossed my mind !!

[camryv6]

18 hours ago, Split_Pin said:

...until you wait 2 days to buy an expensive part, solely for the purpose of building yourself up to it.

Also search Ebay for a cheaper alternative off a different car

[camryv6]

Cut up a mk1 Fiesta and see how long you can keep it mobile under its own power ?

[fatharris]

...you've kept cars on the road long after any sane person would have turned it into bean tins.

[New POD]

14 minutes ago, fatharris said:

...you've kept cars on the road long after any sane person would have turned it into bean tins.

When the MOT inspector, throws the keys at you with a pass certificate, with the words, "I'm not sure why you bothered" 

[Peter C]

4 hours ago, MiniMinorMk3 said:

You have sampled the delights of everyone's favourite Italian car maker

The only Alfa that I’ve had was a 1987 Sprint Green Cloverleaf, in white.

[morrisoxide]

When a massive problem happens you have a think for a day or two & order some parts. Then tackle said problem and fix it (but don't fully trust the "fix" for a few weeks), then the next time it happens its no big deal.

[Rust Collector]

7 hours ago, New POD said:

You are not a petrol head until you are under a mk2 cavalier or mini 850 and find the petrol hose is leaking all over your head face and neck. 

 

To expand on this; you should have had all of the following in your mouth, against your will, at some point:

• Petrol
• Diesel
• Brake fluid
• Antifreeze
• Engine oil
• ATF

You should now be able to recognise what your car is leaking by tasting the puddles it leaves behind.

Bonus points awarded if you’ve had LHM or any other niche fluids jizzed into your open gob whilst performing routine maintenance.

If you’ve had all of them in your mouth at once then you win the game and you don’t have to play cars anymore. Congratulations.

[MondeoBlues]

Your car history is recorded as a collection of Haynes manuals. A sort of Encyclopedia Shittanica, if you will. 

[MiniMinorMk3]

4 hours ago, Peter C said:

The only Alfa that I’ve had was a 1987 Sprint Green Cloverleaf, in white.

I've had two. The white '79 Sprint pictured and a 1982 Giulietta 2.0. In the near 40 years since I have thought about another, but have just never got round to it. Does this mean I'm cured?

[IronStar]

18 minutes ago, MiniMinorMk3 said:

I've had two. The white '79 Sprint pictured and a 1982 Giulietta 2.0. In the near 40 years since I have thought about another, but have just never got round to it. Does this mean I'm cured?

No, that means it’s time to buy a 156 2.5 V6 or at least 2.0 TS 😄

[MiniMinorMk3]

19 minutes ago, IronStar said:

No, that means it’s time to buy a 156 2.5 V6 or at least 2.0 TS 😄

But that's just a Fiat in a sharp suit.

[High Jetter]

3 minutes ago, MiniMinorMk3 said:

But that's just a Fiat in a sharp suit.

Yup, with the right label!

[goosey]

You keep a record of service work in black pen on the intercooler

[New POD]

1 hour ago, goosey said:

You keep a record of service work in black pen on the intercooler

Wow your Maintenance records are better and more robust than Air Egypt 🇪🇬 and most of the small Asian Airlines. And more honest.  

[twosmoke300]

You have attended 3+ Shitefests

[Peter C]

10 hours ago, MiniMinorMk3 said:

I've had two. The white '79 Sprint pictured and a 1982 Giulietta 2.0. In the near 40 years since I have thought about another, but have just never got round to it. Does this mean I'm cured?

My Sprint had a rust problem. Yeah, really.

If I was riding solo, the steering wheel was straight but if I had a passenger in the front seat, the steering was significantly offset whilst driving straight.

Removal of the nearside front wing revealed that the A post was completely rotten, almost to the point where it didn’t exist. 

[tooSavvy]

On 21/07/2024 at 10:41, MrGTI6 said:

... you stalk your old cars on the MOT checker. 

NA57AVB Savvy.... SORN (ok... Gonned🙄)

J424LFY Carnia II.... MOT&Taxed (spotted, recently on here 👍)

S507MBY Swift.... MOT&Taxed (a post from new owner - after me, recently).

My IMP 884KOE had a log book issued long after it was totalled - mebbies a Plate thing 🤔

..... just can't let go 😐♥️

🚙💨

[Tommyboy12]

Youre not a true petrolhead until youve cleaned a cylinder head in the dishwasher and baked brake shoes in the oven. I happily did both in my single days a few years back!

Also everyone says youre not a true petrolhead until you own an Alfa but I think it should be owned a British car (theyre just as rusty and have equally terrible electrics)

[Stinkwheel]

On 21/07/2024 at 14:10, MiniMinorMk3 said:

You have sampled the delights of everyone's favourite Italian car maker

Yes, but i only agree with this if its an actal proper old alfa, definitely not a new fiat in a posh suit like they have been for a good few years now 

(i.e. you cant go around thinking you are a real car person having bought a newer alfa, sorry, not sorry)

[Stinkwheel]

6 hours ago, Peter C said:

My Sprint had a rust problem. Yeah, really.

If I was riding solo, the steering wheel was straight but if I had a passenger in the front seat, the steering was significantly offset whilst driving straight.

Removal of the nearside front wing revealed that the A post was completely rotten, almost to the point where it didn’t exist. 

Standard 

[camryv6]

19 hours ago, Rust Collector said:

To expand on this; you should have had all of the following in your mouth, against your will, at some point:

• Petrol
• Diesel
• Brake fluid
• Antifreeze
• Engine oil
• ATF

You should now be able to recognise what your car is leaking by tasting the puddles it leaves behind.

Bonus points awarded if you’ve had LHM or any other niche fluids jizzed into your open gob whilst performing routine maintenance.

If you’ve had all of them in your mouth at once then you win the game and you don’t have to play cars anymore. Congratulations.

Don't forget cat piss

[camryv6]

19 hours ago, MondeoBlues said:

Your car history is recorded as a collection of Haynes manuals. A sort of Encyclopedia Shittanica, if you will. 

Yes until the early 2000's then gave up on them

[Stinkwheel]

Until you’ve done this maybe?