Best phrases in car adverts

[RoverFolkUs]

https://www.autotrader.co.uk/car-details/202203093363234?

"Last careful lady owner since 2019"

How do you know that when its just come fresh from the pile of steaming turds supplied by BCA?!

[New POD]

15 hours ago, Eyersey1234 said:

What they mean is its noisy as fuck when it pulls away 🤣🤣

And tramlines under heavy braking. 

[motorpunk]

No. The worst phrase in car adverts is “£100 admin fee applies”, usually buried in the text. It could be a mint Ferrari Dino in positano yellow up for a tenner but if it’s got that phrase in the text they can fuck off.

[straightSix]

1 hour ago, motorpunk said:

No. The worst phrase in car adverts is “£100 admin fee applies”, usually buried in the text. It could be a mint Ferrari Dino in positano yellow up for a tenner but if it’s got that phrase in the text they can fuck off.

Exactly. So you want to charge me to take my money? Get in the fucking sea. Just make the car £100 more expensive

[Metal Guru]

2 hours ago, motorpunk said:

No. The worst phrase in car adverts is “£100 admin fee applies”, usually buried in the text. It could be a mint Ferrari Dino in positano yellow up for a tenner but if it’s got that phrase in the text they can fuck off.

Pretty much standard these days with dealers because we’re mugs when buying cars. Same with £200 for number plates that cost £15 elsewhere. On top of that “a donation” £30 to their charity of choice. No leave the charity to Oxfam etc..

Also “no haggling “ as if that’s good for the buyer, no they are the only ones who benefit.  
“Price matched”, yeh with the rest of your dealer chain.

 

[grogee]

"It is what it is"

Well if it was what it was then you'd be the supplying dealer. Stop talking nonsense and tell me about the car

[lesapandre]

Of course it "ain't what it ain't" neither...😂

[straightSix]

"light scratches from my peacock" 😂

[sierraman]

The admin fee gets me, £100 to fill out the V5, I’m in the wrong job. 

[twosmoke300]

6 hours ago, straightSix said:

"light scratches from my peacock" 😂

First world problems right there !

[camryv6]

29 minutes ago, twosmoke300 said:

First world problems right there !

I take it you have never had a problem with your peacock ?

[twosmoke300]

No just one particular unruly quail 

[MisterH]

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/classic-cars-cavalier-sri-/234469649002?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&_trksid=p2349624.m46890.l49286&mkrid=710-127635-2958-0

Quote

Did run but needs a distributor

Well buy the Dizzer and throw it in, might even be worth 1.5k then...

 

[RoverFolkUs]

7 minutes ago, MisterH said:

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/classic-cars-cavalier-sri-/234469649002?mkcid=16&mkevt=1&_trksid=p2349624.m46890.l49286&mkrid=710-127635-2958-0

Well buy the Dizzer and throw it in, might even be worth 1.5k then...

 

The Rover 75 I posted in the tat thread yesterday "will need a brake light bulb to pass the MOT" 🤦

[skoda_fan]

I nominate all the tired and meaningless cliches that have crept in from classic* car publication speak, eg "starter classic", "iteration", "in period",  "a hoot to drive"....and of course everyone's favourite old chestnut "barn find".

[Metal Guru]

“Project” = more rust than metal and no working parts. I.e scrap.

[sierraman]

‘Ideal fishing car’ - an absolute damp trap of an old diesel Estate with a fortnights test remaining.

Who goes to the wife ‘think I’m going to need to get a 2005 Astra Estate just for going fishing on the Trent once in a blue moon’

[AnnoyingPentium]

10 minutes ago, sierraman said:

‘think I’m going to need to get a 2005 Astra Estate just for going fishing on the Trent once in a blue moon’

You mean I don't? But how else am I meant to explain away a daft purchase like that? 😂

[Sham]

Let's face it, No one is gullible enough to accept that there's a good reason for buying a 2005 Astra.

[sierraman]

22 minutes ago, Sham said:

Let's face it, No one is gullible enough to accept that there's a good reason for buying a 2005 Astra.

Let’s face it they’ve believed he’s been ‘night fishing’ on a Saturday night for the last 4 years and definitely not dogging in a truck stop just outside Scunthorpe. 🤣

[camryv6]

5 hours ago, sierraman said:

Let’s face it they’ve believed he’s been ‘night fishing’ on a Saturday night for the last 4 years and definitely not dogging in a truck stop just outside Scunthorpe. 🤣

Wrong forum for making confessions, I think, well those sort of confessions 

[RoverFolkUs]

7 minutes ago, camryv6 said:

Wrong forum for making confessions, I think, well those sort of confessions 

Would piston heads or digital spy be better? 😁

[UltraWomble]

On 3/12/2022 at 1:46 PM, RoverFolkUs said:

Yep, fixed the symptoms and not the cause! Once I saw a car for sale that had failed it's MOT on the airbag light being on. Next retest, an advisory was noted for "supplementary restraint system warning light does not illuminate" - no mystery over what went on there 😅

I've never understood this, what is it about a doctor owner that suddenly makes a car an absolute gem!? I've seen "1 civil servant owner from new" before as well, what difference does that make!?

Only one GP I have worked with was a car enthusiast and really looked after his vehicles - for all the rest, (especially Dr W) they were white appliances to be used till they went "pop" and then replaced with another one. I can still see the state of his C3 now. It was like a petri dish inside.

[camryv6]

1 hour ago, RoverFolkUs said:

Would piston heads or digital spy be better? 😁

Swingingheaven.co.uk maybe ?

[motorpunk]

14 hours ago, skoda_fan said:

I nominate all the tired and meaningless cliches that have crept in from classic* car publication speak, eg "starter classic", "iteration", "in period",  "a hoot to drive"....and of course everyone's favourite old chestnut "barn find".

This. And car sales places who try and talk up their humdrum profession by attempting to add an air of sophistication by using the archaic term "horseless carriages". 

[motorpunk]

"The all important [insignificant thing]". 

They can fuck off, keep fucking off, and when they think they've done fucking off can fuck off even further. 

[RoverFolkUs]

"No offers or it's getting P/Xed tomorrow"

Erm, who's taking a MK1 Focus in P/X for £900? 

 

[RoverFolkUs]

 

Just now, RoverFolkUs said:

"No offers or it's getting P/Xed tomorrow"

Erm, who's taking a MK1 Focus in P/X for £900? 

 

Ah yes, how could I ignore the fact it includes the elusive tank of petrol !!

[HMC]

Let’s not forget the most amazing iconic HEWN FROM GRANITE car that if you are reading this ad you will be aware of its special qualities that need not be mentioned as an introduction. It needs no introduction.

With that said, let’s now have a paragraph introducing the legend of the W124. If you are very lucky I might let you give me money for it.  Needless to say, it needs no introduction, if you are reading this. None is required. Nope.

[lesapandre]

"Matching numbers" - well maybe if it is an historic racing Jaguar or the like  - but for most humdrum cars not.

And anyway only provable with the original log book or manufacturer's heritage certificate. But it really does not matter mostly...

Ad with too many nouns with boostering adjectives...

"rare opportunity" "most attractive"

Or garbage about the car "complementing" a "private collection" or "museum" - these ads all sound as if they were written by Hyacinth Bucket and I never want to meet the author...

Ads that tell you only "7900 built". OK if they are hand build low volume cars - but low numbers for many mass production cars mean they were a turkey then and are a turkey now - but mostly irrelevant.

Dealers in the UK who call cars automobiles...

"Dealers in Fine Historic Automobiles"

Any dealer name with Olde English Font...

"𝔚𝔢𝔰𝔱𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯  ℭ𝔞𝔯𝔯𝔦𝔞𝔤𝔢 ℭ𝔬𝔪𝔭𝔞𝔫𝔶" - when they are actually based in Slough.

Dealers who call cars "carriages" and the phrase "gentleman's express"...

Dealers who call their company 'posh' names like "Westminster"...Mrs Bucket at it again...

It mostly makes things sound so bogus...when they probably....are...🤣