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Posted

Happy Love Day everyone!!

Posted

Early this morning we got "burgled..woke up to the dog barking..but thought nothing of it..apart from the fact hes such a quiet mutt..Nicky gets up..front door wide open..anyway..all that was missing was my somewhat empty wallet off dining room table..which had me debit card and me provo UK drivers licence..not my Kiwi one which is fortunate...so more annoying than anything else..typical of this area..thats what u get for being lower socio economic..'

Posted
  Tayne said:
Doesn't sound rude at all.

 

Given that its the wrong size and at the wrong end of the country...

 

Cheers. Got a new one today, circa £62.00 'all in'. It's only some sort of Hangmanwookey NangoSpazz make but it's brand new and it'll do.

Posted
  ashmicro said:
There's just *something* about a Jag, even a knackered old 2.9 XJ40 with cloth seats that my pal got free gratis. This is fubar, has about 40BHP and changes gear when IT feels like it. But, it has that Jaaaaaaag factor.

 

Quite.

Jags have made me grumpy today.

Was told by domestic manager I would never have have one due to cost.

Like a smart-arse I showed her the sub-£1500 X-type selection (I don't care what they haterz say, it looks like a jag, it's trimmed like a jag, it even sounds (a bit) like a jag. ergo it is a jag) on ebay.

Cue large-scale disagreement.

Posted

What does she know? You're self employed so use up your 45p a mile tax allowance how you see fit.

Posted

As long as you avoid the diesels and 2.0 V6 the X-type isn't a bad thing at all.

 

I'd rather like a nice 3.0 Estate jobbie. The 4x4 makes a hyuuuuge difference to the handling on 'em, and they don't handle too bad even in povvo 2wd spec.

 

The 2.0 V6 auto is a frickin' joke though, slow, and only a tiny bit better on fuel than my 'proper' Jag around town.

 

If the 2.0 or diseasel ones are what you're lookin' at, get a Mondeo instead as the Mondeo is a nicer drive than a 2wd one, roomier and cheaper to fix too.

Posted

Tell her she can't afford shoes, so she'll have to make do with wrapping her feet in carrier bags from now on.

Posted

Shorten the chain to to sink/cooker area so she can't see what you're ebaying.

Posted

1. Haynes book of lies.

Attempted a "3-spanner" job today, need to be a fugging contortionist with 3 tiny hands, and their instructions missed out about 4 crucial key steps. Twats.

 

2. Euro Car Prats [sic] (again)

After several hours wrestling with cunningly hidden components (see above), I discover that the parts supplied are once again no fugging good.

 

Arse.

Posted
  pogweasel said:
1. Haynes book of lies.

Attempted a "3-spanner" job today, need to be a fugging contortionist with 3 tiny hands, and their instructions missed out about 4 crucial key steps. Twats.

 

2. Euro Car Prats [sic] (again)

After several hours wrestling with cunningly hidden components (see above), I discover that the parts supplied are once again no fugging good.

 

Arse.

 

1. Train the poglets, they have small hands and you can pay them in Haribo \ custard.

 

2. GSF are also shit.

Posted

1. Tried that option.

Poglet maximus managed to successfully jack the car up, AND pass me a 10mm spanner before becoming bored and wandering off to poke things with sticks whilst drinking the last can of fanta.

Posted

Non shite related but what's bothering me tonight is the fact that there's probably no such thing as God. I wish I had something to believe in and had some sort of faith but for all my life I've been a devout atheist and I'm now jealous of the somewhat misguided people who have religious beliefs. I'd love to believe in the afterlife but I just cannot bring myself to do so. Life's too short and when you're dead you aint going anywhere else. FACT. It would be fantastic to think that when my time comes I'll see a long white tunnel with all my dead relatives at the other end but I'm intelligent enough to understand that all reports of people seeing this during a near death experience is down to the brain releasing a hallucinogenic chemical to to make death easier. Arse.

Posted

^ I was a sunday school teacher, once upon a time. Aint been back to church since...nuff said? :lol:

The human need to ascribe a catch-all to the stuff we can't explain, has occaisionally exercised my brain ever since.

Posted

While we're on the subject of religion, what has been irritating me recently is that the debate between atheists and believers has recently been going from "I don't agree with your beliefs" to "I'm right and if you believe anything else you're a fucking idiot". Certain branches of religion have been doing this for some time, but it now seems to be an increasingly common attitude among atheists as well. Fact is, nobody on this earth knows for sure one way or t'other, so nobody really has any justification for considering people with different beliefs to their own to be stupid.

Posted

^It's worth a grump that a sound philosophical debate, is increasingly hard to do.

Posted

I believe in nothing, but I do agree that mankind is inherently self-destructive. The only particular problem I have with religion is that it represents a "hive mind" mentality, but as long as it doesn't interfere with me, I couldn't care less. I'm selfish, suspicious and generally lack empathy towards others. I would say that I tend to operate on fear of consequence rather than having any particular morals. On the other hand, I have no particular desire to cause mankind any bother providing it doesn't cause me any either. I'm not going to convince anyone that I don't think there's any gods out there - what somebody else thinks doesn't matter to me.

 

I prefer to think of myself as not involved - if there is some kind of afterlife and sitting out the game isn't good enough, bad luck I suppose.

Posted

Green XM has knackered glow plugs - and refuses to start now.

 

Tax is up on Thursday, and the plan was to take it off the road in two months (when the insurance runs out), and dismantle it then.

 

So, do I spend money getting glow plugs (and a back box as it parted company) or do I bite the bullet and pop it in the car port now, ready for the chop! And rushing to get the SORNed smart roadster back on the road asap.

 

Having just scrapped a 2.0 petrol, taking it apart should be easy and it will provide years of parts for my white XM but the timing is lousy!

 

Off to get a tin of start ya bastard!

Posted
  Tayne said:
Now, lets assume you've lead a decent and virtuous life as a non-believer.

If god is the loving smiling happy forgiving one that he/she/it is sometimes portrayed as then surely if you accept god at your point of departure when the supreme being is revealed you won't go to hell.

Seriously, think about it. Imagine an atheist leads a good life without moral ambiguity. God would have to be bit nasty to condemn that good person to eternal damnation for not sitting on an uncomfortable seat in a draughty building and singing once a week...

^ This. I had some fantastic (occasionally alcohol-enhanced) arguments about this exact point back in my student days with some of the more extreme evangelical types.

Posted

On the religion debate (which I join with some reluctance) I refer fellow travellers to the Autoshite Credo: "Your ride, your way."

 

Same applies with belief systems... 8)

Posted

tumblr_lf1crw396R1qed4gpo1_500.jpg

 

"BE EXCELLENT TO EACH OTHER".

 

There ya go, job done. Who needs religion when you've got Bill and Ted.

Posted

Church-goers piss me off. You know, the ones who go to church and think that they're christians but aren't.

Posted

I'm not going to join in the argument, everyone has their own views and I respect that.

 

However our Minister does drive a G-reg Volvo 760 Turbo Estate :shock: although I don't think that it's a company car :wink:

 

Methodism - the Autoshite of religions :D

Posted

I'm pretty anti-religion, mainly because I'm fed up of religion being an excuse to duff each other up. Mind you, get rid of religion and some other excuse would come along soon enough. Like football teams. It's the lack of tolerance that really gets me het up - whether its Muslim Fundamentalists or some former Hitler-Youth with a nice white hat in Rome. The hypocrisy is a bitter pill to swallow as well. Homosexuality is apparently bad, but if a priest gets a bit fiddly with little boys, we'll just sweep that under the table.

 

To be honest, I'm rapidly going off the Humanist lot too. We had a Humanist wedding, as we quite like the idea of a group of people who are nice to each other while being tolerant of others. Lately though, the Humanists have been getting aggressive in pushing their views out, which makes them as bad as anyone else.

 

I think I'll just stick to trying to be nice to people.

Posted

I'm going to become a Hindu, buy a Land Rover, cover it in off road tat and a sticker that says "8.4 million lives-live them all".

 

We should remember that MAZDA is the Hindu god of light, mind you, we have LUCAS prince of darkness... :D

Posted

Oh I absolutely agree Tayne, but both are sexual traits if you like - rather like the use of contraception, and it seems a bit off to say one's wrong while trying hush up other goings on. If they're pouring scorn on homosexuals - who aren't doing any wrong in the world - it seems very off when they seem to take a rather gentle approach to dealing with paedophiles within their own ranks. Doesn't send out a very consistent message does it? Almost makes being gay seem worse than what the priests were doing.

Posted

Aren't all religons merely an evolution of our hairy ancestors worship of the sun, moon, gerbils and whatever else their yet to develop frontal lobes couldn't fathom? Apparently this god chap made us in his own image, is it too much to ask for .025 thou thumbnails for gapping plugs, and a range to cover common tappet and points clearances on the fingers, or how about a hexagonal bumhole for wheelnuts and a compession tester in the base of my todger.

I think the answer to the old question of what happens after death is easy, just think back to before you were born, it's the same thing.

I can't help but use religion to judge people, the more fruity and controlling the cult, the less I think of the individual, so prods / catholics = mildly dim, joho / krishnas = absolute twats.

Posted
  Tayne said:
  dollywobbler said:
The hypocrisy is a bitter pill to swallow as well. Homosexuality is apparently bad, but if a priest gets a bit fiddly with little boys, we'll just sweep that under the table.

 

Homosexuality and paedophilia are NOT the same thing.

 

In fairness I think what he's is trying to say is that despite the fact that whilst priests are often all to willing to denounce homosexuality as satans work they are also disgustingly willing to take part in homosexual paedophilia... which is an entirely different and completely repulsive practice.

 

As for religion, I love the idea, I've tried it I'm crap at it... I've had more faith crisises than hot dinners :roll: . What I do not like is the idea of using religion to kll and maim and misinterpret teachings with the aim of justification of appaulling violence....

 

Everybody should learn to get along, looking at it subjectively, just because someone has different skin colour, religion, sexualtiy etc doesn't mean you can't get along. As long as it isn't rammed down your throat ignore it if you don't like it (obv not morally unjust things like paedophilia though!).

 

m0rris

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