The grumpy thread

[retrogeezer]

Condolences Baz, really feel for you fella.

[Station]

More ebay rubbish.

I know when selling stuff, and someone says a used item is faulty (even though it was working when I removed it from the car), you have to refund the buyer (don't you?). But when the buyer has used WD40 and force to get the item working, and it is now completely broken, and now wants a refund, what is the best course of action?

[myglaren]

Commiserations Baz. It is very hard and can be dreadful to deal with. Try and talk it out with sympathetic friends, it does help, more that anything else.

 

I lost my parents not long ago.

My mother was taken into hospital with an accidental overdose of Morphine - she couldn't keep track or how much she had taken.

My brother booked my dad into a residential home close to the hospital so he could walk up and visit her - he was very active (92 and fitter than me) but had Alzheimers and couldn't really look after himself.

He fell off a chair while fiddling with the TV, broke his hip, gave up the will to live and died a week later.

Mother didn't last very long after that (also 92)

 

I still catch myself thinking "I'll have to tell Joe (we always called him Joe) about this", or "I'll have to show Joe that, he'll love it"

We thought he was immortal

[retrogeezer]

More ebay rubbish.

I know when selling stuff, and someone says a used item is faulty (even though it was working when I removed it from the car), you have to refund the buyer (don't you?). But when the buyer has used WD40 and force to get the item working, and it is now completely broken, and now wants a refund, what is the best course of action?

I would have thought that the item would have needed to be returned in the same condition as it was sent.

 

Probably just scamming you anyway and sending you his knackered item so he gets a free repair - another thing ebay are happy to let continue.

[Station]

I've offered a refund. Unfortunately, he wants a refund on the P&P as well. He says it was too much as well. He was happy to bid though, as the item went for a few quid. I'm not going to back down on this, I'm very happy to refund the money on the item that was working when I sent it. If he's fucked it, that's just the pleasure/pain aspect of selling on ebay.

[autofive]

I've offered a refund. Unfortunately, he wants a refund on the P&P as well. He says it was too much as well. He was happy to bid though, as the item went for a few quid. I'm not going to back down on this, I'm very happy to refund the money on the item that was working when I sent it. If he's fucked it, that's just the pleasure/pain aspect of selling on ebay.

i have a similar situation running at the moment

 

sold a carb to a muppet in germany, he moaned about the postage costs, then moaned it hadnt arrived, then moaned it was 'for parts only' as it was damaged. i sold him a carb that was overfuelling, but he maintains it has been damaged 'with a hammer'. I security marked the carb (to prevent a free repair attempt) so told him (after paypal intervened and withheld his 100 quid payment) to send me some pics of the damage, he sent these (along with 'an offer' of not leaving feedback, if i refund him and he gets to keep the carb):

 

 

this is not the same carb i posted, the exterior is too clean, and the interior too dusty (looks like brick dust) i didnt provide any airfilter studs, its grown one in transit and the security marking is not present, so i told him to return it asap for a full refund, after almost 2 weeks its still not arrived, and paypal still holding my cash.

[Tayne]

.

[autofive]

Have you told Paypal about this fraud?

 

I'd be pointing out to them that's he's complaining about the wrong carb. Were there photos on your listing?

yes and yes

 

but the photos i have are crap, affected by sunlight

 

if he doesnt return the carb by the end of the week, then i will be emailing all the ebay sellers he left and received feedback from and enquiring if they have experienced similar problems with the buyer. i suspect they have.

and then present all the information to paypal, they can still take the cash from him, even after refund, but its still a 50/50 chance that the decision will go in my favour.

[Mr H Sceptre]

Life....And death....Sometimes it just doesn't seem fair.

 

On July 25th of this year, my 62yo mother finally lost her 7 year long battle with throat cancer....A tall, attractive, lively, funny, and extremely compassionate woman, she fought bravely (with the help of her partner) against this evil disease, until finally, after a stroke, she was just laying in bed, barely able to open one eye....To me, at first, it was a relief to see her finally at rest, but in the weeks since I've found myself struggling to retain my composure at times....Feeling like I'm ready to explode....I've been looking forward to a two-and-a-half week break from work that I have coming up....Planning to relax....Just re-charge the batteries....

 

Yesterday, just 6 weeks after my mum's death, I return home from a weekend visiting Sam's family, and attending the christening of her nephew, in Oxfordhire, to find a Police Officer waiting for me....Here to inform me that my dad....My 75yo father, a fit, active man....Still motorcycling (BMW F800), still enjoying his car (a lightly modified Ford Puma)....A man that I love, respect, and admire immensely....Died suddenly at home yesterday morning....I'm utterly devastated.

 

Ever felt alone? My partner wants to help, but my mind is totally blank and I don't know what to do....The person I've turned to for advice for the last 40 years is gone....Already, I miss him so much it hurts....

 

Sorry....Didn't really mean to depress everybody!

Fucking hell Baz, thats seriously harsh. Genuine condolences....

[warren t claim]

My thoughts are with you Baz.

[Father Ted]

I've offered a refund. Unfortunately, he wants a refund on the P&P as well.

i have a similar situation running at the moment

 

sold a carb to a muppet in germany,.

Presumably you have his address. Free samples of tenna lady would be appropriate.

[155V6]

Not sure whether to post this after Baz's post,but Miss 155's Mum died in her sleep aged 80 last night.I'd known her since I was about 3(I'm 44 now)as she used to run the nursery school I went to.

I met her again last year when I started seeing Miss 155 & she was more energetic than a lot of people half her age. R.I.P Gloria,you'll be missed by so many people

[Rusty Pelican]

Baz , ive no idea who you are but really feel your pain , both my parents are still alive and active but both my Wifes parents died recently

I dread this

[Gompo]

Baz and 155V6 - sorry to read about both your losses.

[Station]

Genuine condolences sent to Baz & 155V6.

 

And Tayne, that sounds like a massive, massive pain in the anus.

[trigger]

I can only pass on my condolences as well lads, Really sorry to hear that, Losing my parents is one of the worse things that i'm dreading in my life.

[chaseracer]

Losing my parents is one of the worse things that i'm dreading in my life.

Agreed, and both of mine have made convincing practice attempts in the past year or so...

 

Baz, 155V6 - all the best to you & yours.

[Vin]

My condolences also.

 

My Mum died 5 years ago after a short illness. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to cope with. But it was at this time that, certainly in my case, that family became a godsend. My Dad, my Sisters, my Mum's brothers, my cousins, everyone in my immediate family were a great reassuring support to each other in that initial period. Time heals though and you have to carry on, but you never forget, there isn't a day goes by that I don't think of her in one way or another.

 

It would have been her 61st birthday on Wednesday. My Gran is still alive and will be 94 the day after, so we'll have her round for tea. I know the next few days will be emotional for her, but we'll be there for her. It's very hard to lose a child, no matter what age.

[seth]

Losing my parents is one of the worse things that i'm dreading in my life.

Even if you know its coming there's still no possible way to prepare. (My dad died when I was 21)

 

As Vin says, family and friends are important.

[Guest Leonard Hatred]

Losing my parents is one of the worse things that i'm dreading in my life.

Even if you know its coming there's still no possible way to prepare. (My dad died when I was 21)

Same here, completely unexpectedly.

[Station]

Losing my parents is one of the worse things that i'm dreading in my life.

I'm dreading it also. My mate's mum died when he was 18, there's no ideal age, but the teens are probably the worst age to have it happen.

[Tayne]

.

[brammy777]

Well my dad died nearly 8 years ago, when I was 11.

Until it happens, you cant really imagine what its like, but its so much better to not bottle it in. I did that, and it does have serious effects further down the line. The more people you talk to about it, the better it gets. Its not nice at all, and Im sorry to hear what happened, Baz and 155.

[RedSparrow]

I was going to post another of my usual petty whinges about public transport but some of you have had properly sad things happen to you. I am so sorry to read what you have been through. My condolencies.

[trigger]

I very nearly lost my dad when i was about 18, He had a bad stomach ache for a few days and was bedridden, the doctor came out who said it was a bit of food poisoning and not to worry.

 

A day or so later he was pooing strange colours and seeing things, My mum rang the doctor or in turn called the ambulance, It turns out my dads appendix had burst a few days before and the poison had been circulating his body since.

 

According to my mum the doctor said he had less then half a hour to live, That was a bit of a shocker. I still can't believe the doctor didn't get laid of about it.

[dollywobbler]

I now feel utterly unable to rant about the stupidity and uselessness of banks (you know, those companies that almost broke our country, plague us with shit TV ads and don't seem to be able to cope with the internet).

 

Condolences all-round.

[Baz]

Thankyou all for your kind words, both on here, and via PM....I didn't know whether I should write anything or not, but guess I just needed to get it off my chest.

 

Condolences to Miss 155....I reckon I know how she's feeling....I'm a big, burly 40yo, and all I want is my Dad!

 

Went down today....Doesn't look like he's left a will, and there are three long-lost sisters who're now probably gonna pop out of the woodwork after 24 years, so I can imagine the ball-ache ahead....For now though, I'm trying to concentrate on being grateful that he didn't suffer for weeks, months, years, and arranging a funeral that will do justice to a very kind, clever and inspiring man.

 

R.I.P. Peter Barry 7/4/35 - 5/9/10

 

Thankyou all for listening.

[pompei]

Condolences to you both.

 

My parents died within two years of each other in the mid 1990s. I still really miss them both. I know it's a platitude but it does get easier although the feeling of loss never goes. As others have said, do talk about it, it really will help.

[155V6]

Thanks everyone for your kind words.Miss 155 is devastated,but the phone hasn't stopped ringing with people who knew her Mum offering their support.

[warren t claim]

I really wish I had a magic wand to wave and make the hurt go away for all concerned.