The grumpy thread

[Pete-M]

Rover V8 valley gaskets - like a big razor blade covered in fuzzy felt...

 

Ouch.

They're easy

[rocco1504]

Tesco are cunts.

Even my 12 yr old thinks Tesco are Cunts, and he's Autistic

 

Funnily enough, his names Richard

[Claypole]

I've currently got a Corn Fly inside my fxxxxxx 24" TFT monitor. If it pegs it where I can see it I'll be VERY cross.

 

 

(Used to get them at my old job with people trying to pass them off as dead pixels to get a replacement monitor).

[gearoil]

Rover V8 valley gaskets - like a big razor blade covered in fuzzy felt...

 

Ouch.

They're easy

It was, even with a nice slice in my thumb.

[Station]

After leaving my mate's at a specified time to arrive at the bus stop leaving five minutes to spare for the bus, I get to the top of the road, to see it sailing past with one passenger on. The driver even watched me looking at my watch and then looking at him (in disgust).

I trudged up to the bus stop, and placed my bag down, at which point, something sharp pierced an unused tin of deodorant inside, and a 5 second long HISS of 100psi rushed through my bag, into every electronical component inside. My IPod's screen is now f*cked.

F*ck you God, I'm getting tired of you doing those little gassy dumps on me that always seem to come in twos or threes one after the other, you big, bearded bastard!

[Richard]

God, yesterday.

 

[Tayne]

,

[rocco1504]

F*ck you God, I'm getting tired of you doing those little gassy dumps on me that always seem to come in twos or threes one after the other, you big, bearded bastard!

[Pillock]

I've currently got a Corn Fly inside my fxxxxxx 24" TFT monitor. If it pegs it where I can see it I'll be VERY cross.

 

 

(Used to get them at my old job with people trying to pass them off as dead pixels to get a replacement monitor).

I used to get them loads, Sony once had a bad batch of 13" screens for laptops and loads got flies inside, we'd get the same complaints of "dead pixels". I once seperated the layers of a screen, the fly flew away, I put it back together and returned it to the customer. Quite surreal.

 

It was daft to complain of dead pixels anyway, as until you get to seven you get nothing from us.

[warren t claim]

Smoking!!!!!

 

It seems like the act of lighting a cigarette and smoking it is an absolute offence to your body. I have cut down from 30 to 4 a day and I really would like to know if there is a (relativly) safe level of tobacco consumption.

 

I really do believe that there's a safe level you can smoke where if you watch other aspects of your lifestyle it will not be too detrimental to your health but the gubberment opinion seems to be that it doesn't matter whether you smoke one of a weekend or sixty a day it will cause you to die a premature death and end up with an engorged neck or with a floppy penis.

 

Does anyone know the facts from the fairytales and can enlighten me?

[Louise2cv]

As much has I hate loath and detest smoking, I'd say you are probably going to die of something anyway!

 

Seriously, if it's not the fags you'll probably be told you have high blood pressure, high cholesterol or something so I think you can only make a decision about what feels right to you.

 

I mean if you drink are you going to stop that?

 

Find something you're comfortable with I suppose. I don't think any smoking is good for you, but drinking probably isn't either and I do that, also I eat a lot of cake...

 

There are a lot of 90 year olds who have been smoking for a long time!

 

There are also a lot of doctors who smoke... have you asked your GP what he thinks, its a long shot I know...but he might answer your questions

[autofive]

to paraphrase Dennis Leary; smoking may take 10 years off your life - but they are the dribly, befuddled 10 years at the end, and i'd rather be without those

[warren t claim]

As much has I hate loath and detest smoking, I'd say you are probably going to die of something anyway!

 

Seriously, if it's not the fags you'll probably be told you have high blood pressure, high cholesterol or something so I think you can only make a decision about what feels right to you.

 

I mean if you drink are you going to stop that?

 

Find something you're comfortable with I suppose. I don't think any smoking is good for you, but drinking probably isn't either and I do that, also I eat a lot of cake...

 

There are a lot of 90 year olds who have been smoking for a long time!

 

There are also a lot of doctors who smoke... have you asked your GP what he thinks, its a long shot I know...but he might answer your questions

It just seems like there is no grey area between being a smoker and non smoker if you understand what I mean.

[Mr H Sceptre]

As much has I hate loath and detest smoking, I'd say you are probably going to die of something anyway!

 

Seriously, if it's not the fags you'll probably be told you have high blood pressure, high cholesterol or something so I think you can only make a decision about what feels right to you.

 

I mean if you drink are you going to stop that?

 

Find something you're comfortable with I suppose. I don't think any smoking is good for you, but drinking probably isn't either and I do that, also I eat a lot of cake...

 

There are a lot of 90 year olds who have been smoking for a long time!

 

There are also a lot of doctors who smoke... have you asked your GP what he thinks, its a long shot I know...but he might answer your questions

It just seems like there is no grey area between being a smoker and non smoker if you understand what I mean.

Fully understand.

 

I smoke around 15 snouts a day. T'was raining this morning & didnt want to go to the shop to get some in said rain. Ended up not having one all day until this evening. I found that knowing that I could have one meant I was dead chilled about not having one (if that makes sense!)

[Tayne]

.

[barrett]

Does anyone know the facts from the fairytales and can enlighten me?

It makes you look cool: FACT

 

Girls will want to sex you: FACT

 

It's a great breakfast: FACT

 

They taste great: FACT

 

I smoke 30 a day and i'm as fit as a fiddle (except that I get out of breath going up stairs and I can't run)

[whitevanman]

Does anyone know the facts from the fairytales and can enlighten me?

 

 

I smoke 30 a day and i'm as fit as a Broken fiddle (except that I get out of breath going up stairs and I can't run)

 

EFA

[254575]

 

It just seems like there is no grey area between being a smoker and non smoker if you understand what I mean.

I don't think there is anything in cigarettes that isn't bad for you.

here come the health police....

[sporty-shite]

here come the health police....

Cigarettes absorb valuable beer money. FACT

[M'coli]

I smoke 30 a day and i'm as fit as a fiddle (except that I get out of breath going up stairs and I can't run)

How much is that a week? £65? If you can cut it down to 10, the rest can be spent on shite!

[rocco1504]

Giving up Smoking, with one of my all time favorite Comedians

 

http://en.kendincos.net/video-hrvldvvf- ... oking.html

 

 

[barrett]

I smoke 30 a day and i'm as fit as a fiddle (except that I get out of breath going up stairs and I can't run)

How much is that a week? £65? If you can cut it down to 10, the rest can be spent on shite!

Nah, I smoke roll-ups so only about £15! BARGZ CANCER

[maxpower]

got a fuggin musik festival this weekend on my doorstep

 

means loads of noise,pissheads, pavement pizzas and twats jumping on people's cars..

 

mic testing has started and its only 2.47 pm.. it dont finish until 10.30pm feckin capital are giving drones tickets to attend, WHAT ABOUT THE LOCALS WHO LIVE HERE!! you pile of shite roberto (dj)

 

if having dizzee rascal on stage wasn't gonna be bad enough...

 

they have plans for WESTWOOD to appear

 

now where the feck did i put that 2.2 air rifle

[M'coli]

now where the feck did i put that 2.2 air rifle

That's some size of air rifle you've got!!!

[barrett]

They have plans for WESTWOOD to appear

I would suggest the 'soft' hunting ammunition that expands on impact, causing massive bleeding.

[Guest]

They have plans for WESTWOOD to appear

I would suggest the 'soft' hunting ammunition that expands on impact, causing massive bleeding.

Is there a few old peoples homes nearby? I suggest a large catapult and a few colostromy bags would be a good call.

[Richard]

Think yourself lucky, we've got the fugging Open on our doorstep. Golfers are below nettles but above wasps in my extermination "to do" list.

[rocco1504]

 

they have plans for WESTWOOD to appear

 

now where the feck did i put that 2.2 air rifle

Maybe you could get him to "Pimp your Ride", failing that, a .357 with hollow points should do the trick, but save a couple for Dizzie Dickhead.

 

AHH, Golfers !, now there's a set of people who really do give me that "I don't like Mondays" sort of feeling

[Guest]

 

 

they have plans for WESTWOOD to appear

 

now where the feck did i put that 2.2 air rifle

Maybe you could get him to "Pimp your Ride", failing that, a .357 with hollow points should do the trick, but save a couple for Dizzie Dickhead.

 

AHH, Golfers !, now there's a set of people who really do give me that "I don't like Mondays" sort of feeling

Perhaps I should 'borrow' Colin's .303 again...

[AlsoMike]

Ebay sellers who can't read. When it says "Quantity: 2" on an order, it means 2, not 1.

 

UPDATE: The second item was posted at the same time. Interesting choice that, sending 2 identical items to the same address in 2 separate packets. TOP POZTING SKILLZ.