The grumpy thread

[alcyonecorporation]

If anyone tried that with me they would find the car suddenly blocking a local river. Car skates are a great invention.

 

We make them out of trolleys the chavs nick from Tesco. Much cheaper than a couple of car dollies from Frost. 

 

[Tamworthbay]

We make them out of trolleys the chavs nick from Tesco. Much cheaper than a couple of car dollies from Frost. 

mine are made from old bread trolleys

[Timewaster]

Don't try a skateboard. *Snap!*

[Tamworthbay]

Don't try a skateboard. *Snap!*

they need castors anyway really, a decent trolley jack will work at a push though.

[sporty-shite]

Spent some of the afternoon doing a few jobs on Mrs S's Alfa, as it's been a bit sluggish of late. Googled around, and it would appear from the symptoms, that it is overboosting due to bunked up turbo vanes, which lead to it going into limp home mode. Easiest home fix is the "Mr Muscle turbo clean" involvong spraying oven cleaner into the turbo through the EGR.

 

So, got the stuff, and decided to give it a go. I'd heard it mentioned on here, and some Alfa forums had reported good results. Also, whilst I was at it, I decided to strip and clean the EGR and clean the MAF sensor.

 

Couple of hours later, all done and ready for test drive. As I set off, I realise I've left my phone at home, but that's ok, I won't be long. Off I go, get it nice and hot, then give it a good shoeing. Kicks out a load of soot, then goes into limp. Stop, tuen it off and back on, give it another shoeing, and it smokes out but keeps pulling. GR8. I'll just give it another final good run for a couple of junctions on the M61. It pulls like a train up the sliproad, and I'm well pleased with myself. I'll just give it a bit more of a hard run for a couple of junctions, and it'll be fine. As I'm proceeding northwards at a soot clearing pace, I feel a little hesitation. Then I can't see through the back window. Fuck. I've killed it. 

 

Oh, did I mention I'd forgotten my phone? Couldn't phone home, but luckily* ended up about 10 feet from a roadside phone. Finally arrived home, and needless to say, Mrs S is not happy. 

 

TL;DR, Alfa fucked. 

[AlabamaShrimp]

We make them out of trolleys the chavs nick from Tesco. Much cheaper than a couple of car dollies from Frost.

 

Isn't that theft and criminal damage? Could you not have taken it back?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(this is a warning the above post is sarcastic in manner, repeat the above post is sarcastic in manner, I am taking the wee wee)

[beko1987]

I must have the most woman hands in the world. Only used the strimmer on and off for about and hour.

 

IMG_20170417_151414.jpg

I bet that hurts more than you expected it to though! I've sliced my hand with a screwdriver before and felt nothing, yet a tiny paper cut hurts for days...

[andy18s]

Spent some of the afternoon doing a few jobs on Mrs S's Alfa, as it's been a bit sluggish of late. Googled around, and it would appear from the symptoms, that it is overboosting due to bunked up turbo vanes, which lead to it going into limp home mode. Easiest home fix is the "Mr Muscle turbo clean" involvong spraying oven cleaner into the turbo through the EGR.

 

So, got the stuff, and decided to give it a go. I'd heard it mentioned on here, and some Alfa forums had reported good results. Also, whilst I was at it, I decided to strip and clean the EGR and clean the MAF sensor.

 

Couple of hours later, all done and ready for test drive. As I set off, I realise I've left my phone at home, but that's ok, I won't be long. Off I go, get it nice and hot, then give it a good shoeing. Kicks out a load of soot, then goes into limp. Stop, tuen it off and back on, give it another shoeing, and it smokes out but keeps pulling. GR8. I'll just give it another final good run for a couple of junctions on the M61. It pulls like a train up the sliproad, and I'm well pleased with myself. I'll just give it a bit more of a hard run for a couple of junctions, and it'll be fine. As I'm proceeding northwards at a soot clearing pace, I feel a little hesitation. Then I can't see through the back window. Fuck. I've killed it.

 

Oh, did I mention I'd forgotten my phone? Couldn't phone home, but luckily* ended up about 10 feet from a roadside phone. Finally arrived home, and needless to say, Mrs S is not happy.

 

TL;DR, Alfa fucked.

Kill or cure, 'tis the Shiters' way....

[drum]

TL;DR, Alfa fucked.

 

Our 147, now with FPB7, was cured of rough running and smoke beltching by blanking off the egr with the lid of a tin of pedigree chum. I cleaned the lid first.

[DodgeRover]

Got to work off loaded all my tools and carried them down the stupid road that doesn't fit a van.

Client isn't here

Hidden key not here either

[AlabamaShrimp]

I bet that hurts more than you expected it to though! I've sliced my hand with a screwdriver before and felt nothing, yet a tiny paper cut hurts for days...

It does! Especially now the skins come off.

[Barry Cade]

mine are made from old bread trolleys

Mc Donalds trays.. seriously

[AMC Rebel]

Why are all home computer printers so wank?  I've had about every different make over the years and they all crap out after a relatively short time.

[Guest Hooli]

Why are all home computer printers so wank?  I've had about every different make over the years and they all crap out after a relatively short time.

 

Because Inkjet.

[Guest Hooli]

Mc Donalds trays.. seriously

 

I've seen a car rolled because of them.

 

McDoogal's trays under both back wheels, handbrake on hard & proceed to drive everywhere sideways...

 

Trays wear though, sudden grip, fishtails t'other way & into high kerb...

 

We didn't take the piss too much.

[DodgeRover]

Why are all home computer printers so wank? I've had about every different make over the years and they all crap out after a relatively short time.

We wore out an Epson S22 inkjet fitted with a CIS system, only problem with it was the CISS used to randomly need bleeding occasionally. Got another 4 for spares but couldn't be bothered so bought the new equivalent and a CIS to fit, it's done a couple of 1000 mainly full colour pages and touch wood it's been fine, just keep the ink reservoirs topped up. It is used most days though, leaving them for more than a week or so can get you cloggy nozzles

[rainagain]

Our 147, now with FPB7, was cured of rough running and smoke beltching by blanking off the egr with the lid of a tin of pedigree chum. I cleaned the lid first.

Same trick worked perfectly on my 156 2.4 jtd

[sporty-shite]

Kill or cure, 'tis the Shiters' way....

Mildly annoyed that it had cured, but I kept going. Not sure whether my actions killed it, or whether it was on it's way out anyway.

 

Our 147, now with FPB7, was cured of rough running and smoke beltching by blanking off the egr with the lid of a tin of pedigree chum. I cleaned the lid first.

Wasn't just EGR, in fact, wasn't EGR at all! It has been going into limp home mode if it was revved higher than about 3k. When I stripped the EGR, it was free and pretty clean. 

 

Anyway, I had a quick look today, and tried to start it with some easy start. It's not for running, and is spunking oil from around the turbo area, so I'm suspecting borked turbo. I'll probably have a closer look when I've got a spare hour, and maybe bang a SH turbo on it. For now, though, I need to get something to get Mrs S mobile!

[richardmorris]

Car spotters! Driving the 2cv on Friday and more so the X1/9 today. Yes they're not common anymore, but don't pull alongside on the motorway and match my speed so the kids can take pics when I need to pull out to overtake the lorry I am now approaching closer than I want to. Grrr.

 

I like that they appreciate the cars, but can't they be more aware?

 

Oh and with the 2cv in Friday there were quite a few terrified white knuckle drivers about doing 50 on the m40. A tip here- you know you're going too slowly when you're overtaken by a 2cv. Uphill.

[Noel Tidybeard]

you looked fairly calm as you passed me by Mary Stevens park in Stoubridge on Friday just after we'd taked delivery of our new Barabara Cartland Dog

[richardmorris]

What is this - stalking?,!

And kidnapping Barbara Cartland too!

 

 

Edit, just looked where that is, i know now. What were you driving?

 

I'd just filled up at the shell opposite the Tesco (and Esso? ) before turning left to where our paths crossed. Guys in the shell were amazed it was thirty two this year. And that I'd just got 48mpg out of it from surrey!

 

I go that way as it's a break from the motorway, and the M5 was stopped up to the m6. I cut off the corner and go up to Shrewsbury via bridgenorth.

[AlabamaShrimp]

Stupid ST is broken again. Feels like the throttle cable is stuck as it sits at 1500ish rpm when you pull up then drops after about 30 seconds to 1000 and if you're lucky then to its normal 800ish idle.

 

Of course the fucker doesn't have a throttle cable as it's all electronic. Looked about and seems people have had similar with a dirty throttle body and cleaning it can be the cure.

 

No idea what I'm doing but I'll have to give it a go

[Tamworthbay]

Twat in a Mitsubishi 4x4 Imawanka on the A38, three miles in the outside lane with no one at all on the inside. Reg **65THU (can't remember the first two) utter twat. He then tries to block this guy who tries to get past after the roundabout near Lichfield. The guy then sits in front and just pisses him off all the Burton, he pulls into the inside lane when there is a space but floors it so Imawanka can't get past, then slows down as soon as there is traffic to block him. Very funny.

[MarvinsMom]

our rover mini used to do this^^

 

we fixed it by pulling the idle air control valve stepper motor thing out and giving it a right good clean with carb cleaner, and but emptying the rest of the tin of crab cleaner into the fuel rail and throttle body. and also by giving the potentiometer thing on the side of the throttle body which moves when the butterfly inside said throttle body moves, a damn good clean too

 

touch wood, that still seems to be ok at the moment....

 

however i imagine that a modern ford may be somewhat different to an elderly mini.....

[Tamworthbay]

Really? It drove like a twat in the outside lane?

[Guest Hooli]

Stupid ST is broken again. Feels like the throttle cable is stuck as it sits at 1500ish rpm when you pull up then drops after about 30 seconds to 1000 and if you're lucky then to its normal 800ish idle.

 

Of course the fucker doesn't have a throttle cable as it's all electronic. Looked about and seems people have had similar with a dirty throttle body and cleaning it can be the cure.

 

No idea what I'm doing but I'll have to give it a go

 

Piece of piss, spray lots of carb cleaner in & scrub it with an old tooth bush till its shiney. Open the butterfly to it & behind it too while your at it.

 

Techinical skill needed - feck all.

[MarvinsMom]

Really? It drove like a twat in the outside lane?

no no no no...

 

it would not tick over nicely unless well warmed up!!

[purplebargeken]

Just been diagnosed with obstructive sleep apnea and will have to use a CPAP machine at night. Seems like I have to tell the DVLA or summat 'cos I might get tired whilst driving 'cos I wake up a million times a night due to not breathing. Arses.

 

Anyone want to buy some of my cars?

[sheffcortinacentre]

To the Panda car that ignored the pair of scrotes on the scooter with no helmets,plates or obv any other legal right to be on the road driving towards you in the 20 mph zone.

Congratulations for your outstanding contribution to road safety & community policing.

[DodgeRover]

^^^ but they might fall off and get hurt if they asked them to stop......