The grumpy thread

[omegod]

Been rather quiet round here of late, I did hear a tale of  a young hoodlum getting bundled into a van by some of the village elders, tied to a tree bollock naked many miles away and having the absolute living shit kicked out of him then being left to hobble home, probably an urban legend but it is awfully quiet round here of late 

[AlabamaShrimp]

^^was he a living statue or did he nick some biscuits?

[Guest Hooli]

Been rather quiet round here of late, I did hear a tale of  a young hoodlum getting bundled into a van by some of the village elders, tied to a tree bollock naked many miles away and having the absolute living shit kicked out of him then being left to hobble home, probably an urban legend but it is awfully quiet round here of late 

 

If he was a mime artist he deserved it.

[HillmanImp]

The nursery that my son goes to has been bought out and is being reopened in a couple of weeks by our local MP Philip Davies. 

 

Some of you may know about this cunt. He really is the lowest of the low. A proper right wing self entitled fascist wanker. He needs a right good hiding. I have had it in my head for ages that if I ever had the misfortune to meet the arsehole I'd twat to fook out of him.

 

However, its my sons nursery and I can't get him kicked out away from his friends. 

 

I am going to have to have words with the nursery owners about their choice of opener like the soft leftie twat I apparently am when it comes to the crunch.

 

Genuinely annoyed about this conflict of interests.

 

His ex wife is nice though as our bin was missed once and she is our councilor got it collected twice. However that doesn't stop him being one of the biggest twats in Britain today.

[scaryoldcortina]

I can't sleep and I'm really really pissed off. Trouble is I can't sleep BECAUSE I'm pissed off, and being unable to sleep is making it worse.

 

I hate everything. Plz make it stop!

[Honey Badger]

An old fella at work, now retired got mugged by two little chavs on his way home one night.

He got back on his bike and began to pedal home when the reality of what just happened sank in.

"I'm not avin this" he thought and pedalled after them and put his army boxing skills to use.

Asked if he called the police he replied "er, best not. I think I did a fair bit of damage"

 

Justice prevailed

 

One of the old guys i used to work with got mugged on his way back home from his weekly shop by 2 well known Wellingborough chavs, he beat one of them unconscious with a frozen chicken and the other one pissed himself and gave himself in the the police in a state of terror from the ranting Irish psycho.

 

I made sure the area I handed over to him every shift was extra clean after this little incident, lovely bloke when i could understand him.

[RoadworkUK]

I wonder if the horn should be done away with altogether. Its popular use has long changed from warning that 'I am here' to signifying that 'you've pissed me off'.

 

It's basically 'press button to swear'.

[Captain Furious]

It's a shame the streets aren't entirely policed by old guys we used to work with

[Guest Hooli]

I used the horn this morning to say 'wake up you fucking dopey brain dead cunt & try looking before pulling out of a junction'.

[DodgeRover]

It's a shame the streets aren't entirely policed by old guys we used to work with

And if they could record the results and put it on social media I'm thinking there would be a very distinct drop in crime...

[Mr_Bo11ox]

That Phillip Davies is defo in the 'house of commons top 3 wankers' along with Peter bone and that crusty old twat from the south coast whose name I've forgotten.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Fuckin Autotrader !!  Site constantly crashes whenever I try and use it, it must be rammed with cookies so I had a look at their cookies policy!  Fuck me its riddled with the damn things, all persistent and all tracking your every move, talk about overload.  No wonder I can never get the site to work properly and it constantly freezes and hangs.

 

http://www.autotrader.co.uk/cookie-policy

I've given up trying to use the Autotrader site and just use the app. It doesn't seem to suffer any of the problems, particularly when trying to change from, say, BMW to Mercedes, where the site gets confused and won't go to the relevant model selection.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

The nursery that my son goes to has been bought out and is being reopened in a couple of weeks by our local MP Philip Davies.

 

Some of you may know about this cunt. He really is the lowest of the low. A proper right wing self entitled fascist wanker. He needs a right good hiding. I have had it in my head for ages that if I ever had the misfortune to meet the arsehole I'd twat to fook out of him.

 

However, its my sons nursery and I can't get him kicked out away from his friends.

 

I am going to have to have words with the nursery owners about their choice of opener like the soft leftie twat I apparently am when it comes to the crunch.

 

Genuinely annoyed about this conflict of interests.

 

His ex wife is nice though as our bin was missed once and she is our councilor got it collected twice. However that doesn't stop him being one of the biggest twats in Britain today.

I've just been reading about this cunt, I'd be seriously thinking about the suitability of the nursery if they think his misogonyst ,nasty, intolerant right wing opinions are something they would want to be associated with.

[Cavcraft]

I can't sleep and I'm really really pissed off. Trouble is I can't sleep BECAUSE I'm pissed off, and being unable to sleep is making it worse.

 

I hate everything. Plz make it stop!

Then you get up in a nark, go to work in a nark and the hate continues, it's utterly shit.

 

Eat, (don't) sleep, rant repeat.

[Cavcraft]

Pa talking of tosspot MPs I was unfortunate enough to encounter that badger gassing wanker Owen Paterson last year on a bike ride. He was toadying round people by the lake in Ellesmere and a mate of mine ashamedly had his picture taken with him. Should have shoved the odious twat into the lake.

[fairkens]

That Phillip Davies is defo in the 'house of commons top 3 wankers' along with Peter bone and that crusty old twat from the south coast whose name I've forgotten.

Rees mogg?

[Tamworthbay]

I find gently baiting our MP pincher pointless but entertaining. He is an arse of the worst sort and spends his life trying to get his tongue up the arse of whoever he thinks will forward his career the fastest. I particularly pissed him off when I shouted at him before the rememberance day parade two years ago, I politely suggested that his time would be better spent trying to get his own party to look after the lads when they come home, rather than turning up with a wreath once a year. The entire crowd cheered and he didn't look very happy. It really makes my blood boil when the bastards that sent these young lads to their deaths turn up with a wreath and make out they are 'supporting the community'. Utter fucknuggets.

[Sheefag]

Pa talking of tosspot MPs I was unfortunate enough to encounter that badger gassing wanker Owen Paterson last year on a bike ride. He was toadying round people by the lake in Ellesmere and a mate of mine ashamedly had his picture taken with him. Should have shoved the odious twat into the lake.

 

I lived in Ellesmere for six months in 1986. A picturesque little town, it was bizarrely the Shropshire centre for car crime and wifeswapping. Grand times.

[AlabamaShrimp]

Did you swap her for a nice fridge?

[Lacquer Peel]

My local MP has outraged the Daily Mail.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3222033/SNP-MP-exposed-pathetic-internet-troll-attacked-Royal-Family-branded-Union-Flag-Britain-s-butcher-s-apron.html

Approved.

[panhard65]

The nursery that my son goes to has been bought out and is being reopened in a couple of weeks by our local MP Philip Davies. 

 

Some of you may know about this cunt. He really is the lowest of the low. A proper right wing self entitled fascist wanker. He needs a right good hiding. I have had it in my head for ages that if I ever had the misfortune to meet the arsehole I'd twat to fook out of him.

 

However, its my sons nursery and I can't get him kicked out away from his friends. 

 

I am going to have to have words with the nursery owners about their choice of opener like the soft leftie twat I apparently am when it comes to the crunch.

 

Genuinely annoyed about this conflict of interests.

 

His ex wife is nice though as our bin was missed once and she is our councilor got it collected twice. However that doesn't stop him being one of the biggest twats in Britain today.

I can't understand why he would want to buy into a nursery as government policy is making it far harder for them to actually make a profit. Maybe he knows something everyone else involved with childcare doesn't. The government are offering more funding for nursery places which on paper sounds like it will make them more money but in reality they are cutting the overall budget so you have to look after twice as many children to earn the same amount of money. Most childminders are rather upset about this as the better qualified ones are getting near £5 an hour for funded places at the moment which is going to be cut to around £2.50 to bring them into line with the less qualified. My other half is a childminder and said that there are lots of them going to pack it in when the new rules come in as the paperwork is a nightmare and not worth the maximum of £10 they can earn as they are only allowed to look after so many children per person. She much prefers only having 2 at a time as it is easier to manage and results in the kids getting more attention. There again the nurseries she deals with are all pretty shit and hopeless at keeping up to date with learning diaries and sharing information. They are in it more for the money than actually looking after the kids and teaching them anything.

[Eddie Honda]

 

It's a shame the streets aren't entirely policed by old guys we used to work with

 

And if they could record the results and put it on social media I'm thinking there would be a very distinct drop in crime...

Don't think there are enough red Picassos to go around though.

 

[Lacquer Peel]

Who's that?

[Cavcraft]

I lived in Ellesmere for six months in 1986. A picturesque little town, it was bizarrely the Shropshire centre for car crime and wifeswapping. Grand times.

Allegedly the drug capital of Shropshire at one time, too. It's a lovely place, our AS mate Shan18706 from here lives there, or used to.

If you're reading this Shaun, come back and let us know what's happening and how you are.

[Eddie Honda]

Who's that?

Do you know who I am?

[Sheefag]

Allegedly the drug capital of Shropshire at one time, too. It's a lovely place, our AS mate Shan18706 from here lives there, or used to.

If you're reading this Shaun, come back and let us know what's happening and how you are.

Funnily enough, the flat below mine on Birch Road, had Police carpentry performed on the front door, twice in the six month that I lived there.

[Guest Hooli]

Who's that?

 

Chompy Snake?

[xtriple]

Just been for a shower/shave. To do so, I have taken my new false tooth/teeth out and left them on the front room table. I hate wearing them/it as it is so uncomfortable so any excuse to take it out...

 

Come back out and my false tooth is on the floor, there is a dog with a very guilty look on his face and the plate is soggy and wet. It would appear that Chesters obsession with this falsey is more than I thought... obviously he has been wandering around the flat wearing MY false teeth!

[Guest Hooli]

You need to get a picture of that some time!

[xtriple]

He's really got a 'thing' about them. I shall try to get picture, but it could be some time...