The grumpy thread

[Parky]

Go into the Apple store, and tell this story exactly as is.

They have the final say, and I've heard of them being so amused by a tale of woe that they just swap phones. Not guaranteed, but they're surprisingly human.

 

They replaced my mate's iPhone 5S for free when he got a football straight to the goolies/pocket area and it smashed the screen, I think because the bloke serving him could sense the pain....

Tried that, despite tale of woe, autistic daughter reliant on her phone, thoroughly upset daughter crying the store while everyone watched, they charged us £199. Perhaps we should have tried it at closing time on a week it or something.

 

Still I didn't have anything else to spend my money on....

[gm]

I was being tailgated on the way home last night - by a fecking driving instructor !

[Parky]

I have just sat through the film Leap Year. Mrs P wouldn't let me turn it over.

 

It was about as predictable as could be. Not a single cliche was left unturned, not a single stereotype emphasised, and not a single wacky coincidence failed to crop up. And yes, it appears love can conquer all in rural Ireland! Apparently I am heartless for not enjoying it.

 

Next thing someone will tell me it was recently voted the most influential comedy since Dr Strangelove and won every Oscar (inc best lighting in a foreign animated short) in 2006. It was, in a three word summary, utterly abysmal shit.

 

And I wonder why the BBC won't replace Jonathan Ross or Mark Kermode with me for their film programmes?

[vulgalour]

What a rubbish day today has been, not only does the welder now not want to weld after switching to plain Co2 from Co2/Argon mix but I got a puncture.  Not just any puncture either, I was entering a junction I enter most days, slower than usual because of the wet weather and as I turned in it was like I was suddenly driving on glass.  I'm glad I was already in 2nd gear and doing junction-entering speeds (slower than Mike in the Supra, that's for sure) because I could stop the car without crossing to the wrong side of the road but not before smacking the front wheel into the high curb of the triangular junction island.  A couple of cars that came around the corner afterwards had a little wiggle too which makes me wonder if there was something on the road, especially as there's been quite a lot of construction traffic for a new set of housing.

 

 

 

 

I don't know what caused the car to lose control like that in all honesty.  One minute I was turning in for the corner and the next it was like my brakes and steering might as well have not been there.  The sort of thing I'd expect from very spirited driving, not from trundling around with traffic below 40mph.  It wasn't like understeer either, not exactly, it was more... wobbly?... well before I hit the curb.  A lot like driving on a flat tyre, in fact, which is what makes me wonder if it could have been a blow-out, as unlikely as it seems.  Whatever the cause, it was just as I was joining the junction, I guess I'll never know, and it just goes to show that even a well maintained car can still throw an unexpected fault at you.

[dollywobbler]

Diesel spill? It's nasty stuff.

[DVee8]

A near fatality at work last night,1 of the lads that works for me and along side me,using a over head crane,not fully watching what he was doing,he put the 4 legs of the chains on top of the load he had just put down.

 

 

 

Lifting the chains up 1 of the legs slid off the top of the load,he saw it happen but continued to lift.

The leg that slid off jammed as he still continued to lift pulling a 8 ton die over. Crushing the computer station that i had been stood at only a couple of mins before hand and the electronic control panel.

 

 

Some how the crane man was pushed by the load and the control panel into a space as wide as him,pinning him against a safety fence.We got him out still alive some how, took him to hospital to be checked over,shock and sore wrists from trying to push the load away and a sore back from being pinned.

 

By the time i had done the hospital run and the investigation it was 01.15 and i needed to be back up at 06.00.

 

But both of us are still here to tell the story.

[MarvinsMom]

been to a model train exhibition today in Middlesbrough, i used to go most years, but i've not been in a while due to it usually coinciding with the Mini London to Brigthon run. 

 

as we didn't get a ticket, this year we didn't go.

 

so how can that be a grump?

 

while we were there looking at the stall of a local trader, he (the trader)noticed that someone had stolen a £200 model locomotive. one with factory fitted sound and DCC, and custom weathering (hence it been £200) 

 

what a shitty thing to do.

[captain_70s]

Put a pizza in the oven, got engrossed in watching a 53 year old man assemble a 1950s GPO telephone on YouTube. Pizza now cremated.

[purplebargeken]

Don't usually respond to comments but I will this time.

 

The road is quite clearly divided into two sections. Each section is a dual lane strip of road.

 

This is a fast road, people do not heed the speed limit and it is normally busy. Very busy.

 

He wasn't that old, maybe early 60's at best, decent bike and all Lycra clad. So this would indicate that he was of a reasonable skill level on two wheels. Ok so far?

 

The reason for my verbal response was thus:

 

Not only did this twat run the risk of getting smeared over the road like a sack of rasberry jam, and likely dying very hard and fast. He also ran the risk of taking the poor fucking driver and/or passenger out as well. Imagine the damage a body and bike will do when hit at 60 mph or worse. If it had been raining or just a bit darker he would not have been seen. Oh, did I mention no hiviz or lights? Dark clothing too. No I didn't call the police as by the time Plod would have arrived he'd have cycled off into the sunset. I wanted him to take notice of the danger, the louder and more swearier way of doing this the better in all brutal honesty. It obviously worked as the stupid twat was not in sight according to the van driver that arrived at the lights after me. Had a bit of a moment? He'd have had a moment/episode when his head would have burst like a ripe watermelon after being hit by a car, van or HGV. Hopefully I saved a life by calling him a cunt/twat or fuckwit. If I see him do that again I will pull over, have a gentle word in his ear and guide him gently to the footpath. That is if he isn't dead of course. Defuckinglightful my arse.

 

I've been first on scene when a woman and her 6 year old grand daughter were smeared after being hit by a car on a dual carriageway. The woman died as I was performing CPR. That stays with you and I did not wish to be doing the same thing this morning.

[Pillock]

Seriously fed up with the broadband speed at our new house - it is shit slow. Apparently we've been told that we've only got Sky and BT to choose from that cover the area. We went with Sky and it's absolutely crap...

 

 

I really don't know who else would provide for the area, the local village centre has good wifi so it's not like it's unobtainable?

 

Usual shit of no money, SWMBO getting on at me, job is shit etc etc.

5Mb isn't bad really if that's your actual result - enough for HD streaming, music, pornography...

[Lord Sterling]

Only click this button if you want to hear a generic driving standards rant.

 

 

 

Came back from Gatwick last night, set out about 6.15pm so missed the brunt of the traffic and the M25 was flowing quite freely.

However this appeared to mean that you can be a high-speed cunt rather than a slow-moving cunt which seems way more dangerous. Here's the highlights:

 

M25, Heathrow, one of those new Jags with the swoopy rear ends. I'm in lane 3, overtaking, he's in 4. Cuts across the front of me with inches to spare, then in front of the lorry in lane 2 with about the same gap, but because that's a lorry and not something transparent he can't see that some other twat in a Focus is undertaking the lorry and there's very nearly a coming together in lane 1. Jag driver just keeps it planted, possibly didn't even really know what just nearly happened. 

 

M1, north of Toddington where there's the hard shoulder running lane that merges in. Truck coming onto the motorway, I've just moved out from Lane 1 to lane 2 to let him in. Cunt in an X5 in my rear view mirror goes from lane 3 where he's been sitting for a mile, inside me for fuck all reason (I assume he'd not seen the truck and he was warning me to keep out of his three lanes), blasts past on the inside just as the truck is merging in. Does he move? Does he fuck. Truck has to avoid him, he carries on in lane 1 which has signs saying that you've got to move over as there's no hard shoulder running. I really hope the camera that catches people ignoring that was live.

 

People that can't keep a steady speed. Not all cars have cruise control, but if you can't stick to +/- 5mph you're a cunt. I lobbed it on cruise somewhere near the M3 and barely came off until I got to M1 J22, and the amount of people that I would approach quite quickly, pull out to overtake, and not make it past their B pillar without them gaining speed and slowly pulling away was insane. Then it's me that looks like the tosser. Cunts.

 

I've also sussed that there's two types of middle lane twats. Type 1 is the ones that think because they're not driving something with 12 wheels and a chrome silhouette of a lass with pointy boobs on the front, that's their normal lane. They will stick there because they don't want to mix with trucks, no matter if there's trucks or not. They join the motorway, pull straight into lane 2 and sit there at 65mph. I call these people cunts.

Type B is the ones that have spent the last 16 miles on a sales call in the outside lane, and have just noticed it's nearly their junction. However there's a sprinkling of traffic in lane 1 which they don't want to be behind, so they hedge their bets by going into lane 2 a mile before they need to pull off. They then sit there, not wanting to pull over, scanning lane 1 for a gap whilst matching speed. These people are also cunts. Every junction up the M1, lane 2 turned into a stop-start nightmare with people diving in but refusing to pass straight through it.

 

 

Sadly this is the normal standard of driving these days. As someone who is on the road for most of the day in all different places, I see it everyday. Being on the road mkst of the day gives you a real insight into the daily commuters of motorways, a bit like a real-time "From A to B", I've noticed the same level of poor driving everywhere.

 

The 'Middle lane owners' seem to mainly switch off thier brains when driving, sometimes you can remind them when pulling into the first lane so they can see that there is a lane to use. But mostly, they get onto the motorway, stick thier car into the middle lane, overtaking lorries switch of thier brain off and stay in the middle lane.

 

Then you get the 'self-entitlers' people who believe they are more entitled to the space on the road/outside lane than everyone else. They don't like anyone taking space in front of them even though you may be indicating and moving safely into the outside passing lane. These self-entitlers are usually the 'Mr White shirt in rep mobile' who'll aim to pass you no matter what or people of whom have something bigger/newer and feel the need to lord it over others.

 

Today I was driving a Frontera, I got tailgated by a Range Rover who went on to pass me at high speed and cut into a line of traffic to exit onto a slip road.

 

It's sad that it's go to this stage but hey, that's just the way it seems to be these days.

[twosmoke300]

The eu thread has made me sad ! So much bickering !

[Timewaster]

Sorry twosmoke but more fool you for reading it.

 

I took one look at the title and decided to give it a wide berth.

 

Seems I was right.

[twosmoke300]

I scanned a few pages and that was enough to honest

[Cavcraft]

It is a truly awful thread.

[michael1703]

Compulsive eating

 

I'm not hungry but I'm 2/3rds through a big box of liquorice all sorts. I eat until I'm almost sick, I can't have one of anything.

 

Yesterday I had two second breakfasts, a massive quiche for lunch and a snack and lots of fruit and then had fish and chips for tea and then had a second bag of chips and ate half another portion of haddock and had a snack when I got home.

 

Then there was a punnet of strawberries that had been opened, so I ate pretty much the whole punnet

 

Wtf is wrong with me?

[Ghosty]

You're a hobbit.

[wuvvum]

Are you pregnant?

[Pillock]

Yesterday I had two second breakfasts, 

 

I don't wish to be pedantic, but I reckon the second second breakfast was in fact "third breakfast"

[chaseracer]

Compulsive eating

 

I'm not hungry but I'm 2/3rds through a big box of liquorice all sorts. I eat until I'm almost sick, I can't have one of anything.

 

Yesterday I had two second breakfasts, a massive quiche for lunch and a snack and lots of fruit and then had fish and chips for tea and then had a second bag of chips and ate half another portion of haddock and had a snack when I got home.

 

Then there was a punnet of strawberries that had been opened, so I ate pretty much the whole punnet

 

Wtf is wrong with me?

Have you been on the Nostromo recently?

 

 

 

[chaseracer]

I don't wish to be pedantic...

 

Yeeeeeeeeeeesss you do!

 

[Pillock]

You're right, I love it. I wish for nothing more in life!

[Skizzer]

The eu thread has made me sad ! So much bickering !

 

This (and I only glanced at it and ran away, as I usually do with the open forum).

 

Seems to me that quite a lot of the threads on here at the moment fall into four rather tiresome categories:

A. Everybody is a crap driver apart from me.

B. Let's you and me do a lot of shouty name-calling.

C. You've never heard of me but I'm treating this as a free version of Exchange & Mart and starting a new thread for every item I'm flogging (ok there's not much of this, but it's still irritating).

D. This might be an interesting thread or it might not, but I'm going to be make the title as obscure as possible so you'll never know.  SEE, MADE YOU CLICK!!  Got you there, aren't I clever.

 

There are of course many glorious contributions too, but I don't have a lot of time to be on here at the moment and it's quite tedious searching for them.  I freely acknowledge I'm not helping much as I haven't bought any cars for weeks and haven't done much fixing or spotting either, because work.

 

Maybe we could have one of those category sticker things for 'thread about my old car'?

[vulgalour]

Michael's problem started when he swallowed that fly, I don't know why he swallowed that fly.  Perhaps he'll die.

[chaseracer]

I don't spend much time in 'the other place', but it's useful in that it keeps the tedious shit off the main pages.  There is some gold there too, though - if you look.

[Skizzer]

^ Very much agree on both counts.

 

Maybe I'm just tired. Carry on.

[chaseracer]

Stay strong, Brother Skizzer - you are a shite saviour, a disciple of Chod... 

[beko1987]

So after messing about with the sky to get fibre, but downgrade the TV so the cost doesnt change, all hell breaks loose this morning when half of the TV channels stop working. I said not to worry, we can stream from the sky kids app, but no, that stops working if you don't have the package we used to have. I could sense a big argument coming, so fuck it, online, upgrade, £7 more than we paid before, so fuck all point doing anything really.

 

Fuck it, I'll just pay the bills and shut up, it's easier. Thank fuck she's going out in a bit, I fancy smashing something up with a hammer

[HH-R]

The fortnightly moans about the quality of content on here are incredibly tedious.

 

We never get anywhere with it because by and large there aren't rules about what you can post, there's just each member's own arbitrary standards of what they deem is or isn't shit. There's usually a kick off, a few people will flounce off, then everyone else is left uneasy about what they're posting to avoid the "you're posting shit" moan but it happens anyway like a fucking broken record.

[michael1703]

Today's grump is that I haven't got anything classic to use on the road and I think the next 5 weeks are the best of the year.

 

All the long evenings are perfect for jumping in something old and bimbling along to the pub/forest/beach and having a nice relaxing evening.

 

I need to get my shit together and fix some stuff sharpish