The grumpy thread

[strangeangel]

Sorry for the rant.....

 

Reverse Bentley over Airedale, sorted

 

Hope things are on the up again soon.

[twosmoke300]

I know it's not that bad down in cornwall but this rain can just go fuck itself now . Very funny you have had your say - now do one

[Cavcraft]

I'm up for this. Do I need an Equity card?

Liscard Lick Towing

[Cavcraft]

Oh aye, to Captain Biscuit arse with his twatty little kids 'Jens' and 'Miles' at the cafe at Delamere today. You were down to about 0.00003 nano seconds before I shoved those fucking cakes you took all day to order up your nostrils.

[garbaldy]

Oh aye, to Captain Biscuit arse with his twatty little kids 'Jens' and 'Miles' at the cafe at Delamere today. You were down to about 0.00003 nano seconds before I shoved those fucking cakes you took all day to order up your nostrils.

Fookin ell cafe rage you will end up having a stroke if you get wound up over cake,

[purplebargeken]

I used to work as a chef near Delamere. The Four Ways Inn when it was a proper restaurant. 

[Cavcraft]

Down the road from where Harrington's used to be, I think?

[jakebullet]

I should be playing hide the sausage with kinky girl. Instead I'm on the train home 'cos my fucking idiot sister is stupider than I thought possible.

 

Idiot sister had eye operation for detached retina. Last night 7pm something went 'pop' and obviously something wrong in said eye. So does she go to casualty? nah, got to be out on the piss 'cos new year's eve innit? Does she go to casualty this morning? Nah, got new years day meal and piss up to do.

 

Finally rolls into casualty 7pm today, and they tell her your eye's fucked, you have surgery booked for 7:30 am tomorrow morning. So I get phoned up, come back you're driving the idiot to Sheffield in the morning. Joy. I hope she enjoyed her piss ups, 'cos could well be the last ones she'll ever see.

[Pillock]

I know blood's thicker than water and all, and it feels wrong to be saying this about your sister, but she's a fucking dimwit.

I can't imagine how awful it is to be blind, and to risk being 50% there on the strength of a NYE drink is madness. Just. Just aaaaaaaaargh.

[michael1703]

I saw this coming (pardon the pun) in a previous instalment you mentioned that she had to rest it for 6 weeks or however long it was, I bet she's been staring at tv/Facebook/smartphone too.

[Pillock]

When I decide I want to make millions of pounds, I'm definitely buying an insurance company.

 

Insured the Saab at the end of May, £201 all in with Esure.

Phoned to cancel. £55 cancellation fee! And because I'm paying monthly, that means I owe THEM £20 to cancel.

Or, given that I might be changing jobs soon and losing my company car, I can suspend the insurance to a later date and reinstate it on another car. However I still have three payments to make, totalling £54. So I'm paying out for car insurance on a car I will no longer own.

 

Get this - if I suspend it and put it on another car, they'll refund the amount of time I was paying for it but didn't have it applied to a car.

If I suspend it and DON'T get another car, then they won't refund anything at the end of May.

 

There's lots of options there, almost all of them seem to involve me paying them money for nothing.

[jakebullet]

I know blood's thicker than water and all, and it feels wrong to be saying this about your sister, but she's a fucking dimwit.

I can't imagine how awful it is to be blind, and to risk being 50% there on the strength of a NYE drink is madness. Just. Just aaaaaaaaargh.

 

Sister is even more insane than you think. This is all going on with her right eye. Her left eye is already fucked, as in capable of detecting if it's light or dark and not a lot else. So right eye broke = effectively blind.

 

Entertaining morning, got to hospital at 7:30am as instructed. Then played the game of somebody looks it it, goes fuck! and phones their superior to come and have a look. 5 hours later verdict is there's something wrong, but he's not willing to have a go at it, and come back Monday when the man who's done it last time can make ultimate decision what to do. Oh, and if it goes more wrong in the mean time get the fuck back here pronto idiot.

[purplebargeken]

xtriple - re: NAGF. Next time she pops over, tell her that you've been feeling extra lonely over the holiday period and miss close, intimate female company, say that you still have needs and desires and ask her if she fancies one. This will most likely result in her making rather rapid excuses to piss off or she'll jump on you, either way you'll end up a happier man. Has to be worth a go.

[AlabamaShrimp]

^^^or just walked round in your pants

[purplebargeken]

Hmm, I think my option has potentially more merit. 

[Slartibartfast]

Can someone explain NAGF?

[MarvinsMom]

not actually girl friend?

[anonymous user]

It could be, I thought it was short for nagging female

[DeeJay]

xtriple - re: NAGF. Next time she pops over, tell her that you've been feeling extra lonely over the holiday period and miss close, intimate female company, say that you still have needs and desires and ask her if she fancies one. This will most likely result in her making rather rapid excuses to piss off or she'll jump on you, either way you'll end up a happier man. Has to be worth a go.

Ask her to take the dogs to the park for a run before you whip your knob out.  

[xtriple]

Not A Girl Friend!

 

I think I've been promoted to' Gay best friend!' She spent all the other day telling me about dresses and accessories to go with the blue one that suits her better than the red one! I did say: I don't give a fuck, know nothing about fashion and please shut the fuck up but she never actually listens to me!

 

If I wasn't so ashamed of my fucked body (very funny shape and not in an amusing way!) I would wander around in the buff in the hope that she would go forth and multiply, but firstly, she wouldn't notice/care and secondly, Chester would think there was a small sausage hanging around and get me arrested for sexual deviancy with an animal!

[Slartibartfast]

Why does this woman come to your house?

[DeeJay]

 Care in the community?

[Cavcraft]

Sky's coverage of the darts is nearly spoiling it.

[Split_Pin]

Based on what you have said about her, it sounds like you would do well to get her in the fupping sea.

 

I'm no picture of masculinity by any means but a bloke doesn't need some chick denting his pride by talking to him like he is their GBF.

 

Tell her to do one, enjoy your Bentley and let your poor dogs have some peace too.

[Cheggers]

Sky's coverage of the darts is nearly spoiling it.

I prefer the BDO/ Lakeside championship. The standard's nowhere near as high but I just don't like the constant racket from the PDC crowd.

 

"Stand up...If you love the darts" - How about sitting down and actually fucking watching it.

[Split_Pin]

Just watched all of 5th Gear's "Crash Tests". What a load of tosh.

 

For example, scaremongering you into thinking that any car not equipped with ESC was dangerous by performing an avoidance swerve at 70 in a Yaris which, when not dramatic enough, the driver guided it into the rough whereupon its wheels eventually dug in and the car tipped over.

 

Or the head on collision between a 2002 Grand Scenic and (1989 designed) Discovery, which obviously came off worse.

[dollywobbler]

The Disco one was worth showing just because folk assume they're great in a smash. They're bloody terrible, especially in an offset situation. The Yaris one was bloody ridiculous though. I've seen a similar one for winter tyre comparisons (not Fifth Gear) where they show the dangers of fitting winter tyres on the front only by UNDERSTEERING through a set of cones. Yeah, that was realistic...

[MarvinsMom]

what do you expect, when you take an old car and subject it to a crash test it was never ever designed for?

 

of course it isn't going to end well.

 

especially the likes of the Disco, Rover Metro etc.....

[Cavcraft]

Cheggers, on 02 Jan 2016 - 10:52 PM, said:

I prefer the BDO/ Lakeside championship. The standard's nowhere near as high but I just don't like the constant racket from the PDC crowd.

 

"Stand up...If you love the darts" - How about sitting down and actually fucking watching it.

 

 

The songs and atmosphere are ace, I'd love to go but I really wish they'd STFU with the 'Yaya/Kolo Toure' shit. God alone knows why they're singing a football song at darts but it's shit.

Fair play to Anderson though, absolutely on fire, but I still hope Jackpot wins!

[BavarianRetro]

........ (1989 designed) Discovery, which obviously came off worse.

The Discovery was released in 1989, but was nothing more than a reskinned 1986 Range Rover - designed in the late 60s and brought to production in 1971!