The grumpy thread

[vulgalour]

Calvinball is entirely different.  Common mistake that.  Like how people think Football and Soccer are the same thing just played in different countries.  Totally different.  Entirely.  Nothing alike.

[Timewaster]

  On 12/12/2015 at 20:03, Pillock said:

We've got a power cut. At 6.30pm they reckoned it would be back on at 7.30.

 

At 7.20 they changed the message to say "estimated restoration of power by midnight". Feels like that is their way of saying "fuck knows what's wrong then, we tried turning it off and on again".

 

Lit a fire and played card games. Chippy up the road still has power. Got a book for later. Actually now I type that I wonder if I'm in the wrong thread.

Likely they assumed it would be a fuse a at the local substation and it wasn't that......

[jakebullet]

A bad night just had due to kinky girl can be batshit mental.

 

She's reading headlines in the oh so accurate daily mirror in a shop, and decides Cameron is going to try to evict her from her flat. No dear, he isn't. But he wants to! Maybe he does, but I doubt it. She then gets angry that if she was to suddenly become capable of having a job she would have to pay for her drugs, and it's not fair cos she needs them or she'll die. Again dear, chances of that are rather remote.

 

We then watch the excellent* cinematic treat, 50 shades of boring bollocks while she gets pissed, while at same time saying I'm not drunk me. Off to bed, at which point she decides I'm wrong about something trivial, and she wants to go straight to sleep and the best plan is to take a sleeping pill with "avoid alcohol" written in large letters on the box. I get close to sod all sleep as I'm slightly worried she may cark it.

 

Today she's all 'love you', and why are you tired? Hmmm, dunno love.

[Lord Sterling]

  On 12/12/2015 at 14:51, captain_70s said:

...Something that is making me grumpy recently is people taking pride in their stupidity. Literally. They think that being ignorant is a better alternative than being a "nerd" like I apparently am for being able to use words with over three syllables. These are people in their 20s and 30s, I though the "heh, nerds know things, how lame" sort of mentality died after you left fucking secondary school.

 

I once had to explain the word "hence", but I used "consequence" in my explanation so had to explain what that meant too. Then I was made to feel like the twat for using "fucking stupid words that nobody fucking says".

They spout uneducated opinions and when their staggering levels of wrongness are pointed out to them they say, "well I don't have time to waste researching this shit because, unlike you, I have a life". Well then, you aren't entitled to your shitty opinion then, you cunt. Torque wrench, shovel, shed. Aaaaaargh!

 

We all have shit that we don't know about. I know fuck all about sports, but I don't tell people they are twats because they know how many touch downs you need to win a game of basegolf or whatever...

I agree with this. As someone who belongs to a group of whom is criticised, I can certainly see where you are coming from as I certainly believe this.

 

It is staggering (but also very interesting) to see how people form thier opinions on subjects they know nothing about.

 

On the subject of relationships, whilst being single can be great, it can be a bit 'lonely'. Technically I am in a relation, but Mrs_Sterling is not with me, now I know that relationships can be straining (believe me, even though she is in another country, I still feel her wrath sometimes) but your love to your chosen partner is far more worth what disagreement you may have with her.

[purplebargeken]

Get hold of service records:

 

https://www.gov.uk/get-copy-military-service-records/apply-for-someone-elses-records

 

[Dick Cheeseburger]

Our dog nose marks all over the glass panels on the living room doors. Gotta love a greyhound regardless.

[Pillock]

  On 12/12/2015 at 20:08, chaseracer said:

Until the batteries on your phone/tablet/laptop/i-thingy run out...

I've got loads of way to charge stuff without mains

[D Spares & Tyres]

  On 12/12/2015 at 20:50, jakebullet said:

A bad night just had due to kinky girl can be batshit mental.

 

She's reading headlines in the oh so accurate daily mirror in a shop, and decides Cameron is going to try to evict her from her flat. No dear, he isn't. But he wants to! Maybe he does, but I doubt it. She then gets angry that if she was to suddenly become capable of having a job she would have to pay for her drugs, and it's not fair cos she needs them or she'll die. Again dear, chances of that are rather remote.

 

We then watch the excellent* cinematic treat, 50 shades of boring bollocks while she gets pissed, while at same time saying I'm not drunk me. Off to bed, at which point she decides I'm wrong about something trivial, and she wants to go straight to sleep and the best plan is to take a sleeping pill with "avoid alcohol" written in large letters on the box. I get close to sod all sleep as I'm slightly worried she may cark it.

 

Today she's all 'love you', and why are you tired? Hmmm, dunno love.

I've been reading your posts with interest...

 

Sounds like the fun part is over. Its time to fuck her off.

 

Wear a stab vest though

[cobblers]

RUN. EMIGRATE. JOIN ISIS?

[gordonbennet]

  On 12/12/2015 at 21:50, dodgytom said:

I've been reading your posts with interest...

 

Sounds like the fun part is over. Its time to fuck her off.

 

Wear a stab vest though

 

Yep, nutter i saw for a while (what the fuck was i thinking, but after the living hell of me first mrs just amazed i'm still here) took umbrage that i was effing off....last i saw of her was in the rearview mirror a face like a demon and the sound of a fuckin great plant pot which she must have hurled 100 yards smashing on the road, only just missed as i pissed off sharpish in me Golf 1.

[DeeJay]

Sounds like the transformation from "kinky girlfriend" to "wife".

[the judge]

  On 12/12/2015 at 13:16, Cavcraft said:

If you believe what you read then the best way to pull is to walk up and down the aisles in a supermarket carrying a fluffy puppy as you look for haribo.

Try that then get in the Bentley outside Lidl and you're guaranteed* to pull some right bit of stuff.

Do not do this in toys r us

[the judge]

  On 13/12/2015 at 04:33, Hirst said:

The mistake they've made is to be in a position where they've asking for permission, instead of just saying they're going. Unfortunately, it's gradually become a social norm for men to be pathetic and under the thumb. It's reinforced mostly by television (particularly adverts) where men in relationships are almost universally shown to do as they're told and has led to the rise of the "sad dad" who isn't respected by the kids and is essentially just a family slave who dishes out all of his wages and operates an on-demand taxi service to the Wacky Warehouse in a car he didn't want to buy.

 

It's unhealthy for all involved and whilst being single often irritates me, I'd never accept being in a relationship where I have to ask for permission to do what I like doing. Fair enough there's some compromise, but if your life is being dictated by somebody else you might as well be dead. If you go to the pub with your mates every so often and come back to anything more than mild sulking, pack up your shit and get out of there. If they haven't got their own hobbies and friends to keep them busy, that's their problem.

 

This is the position I maintain and if it means I live the rest of my life completely alone, too bad!

AMEN to that brother!!!

 

 

(I have 5 fucking kids,and struggle to remember who I actually am sometimes. This is why I have rubbish cars and motorcycles)

[Cavcraft]

On that sort of basis we spent half an hour in a taxi queue last night telling a lad of 27 that he had it all wrong. He was whinging on about his missus and how he had two kids so he had to get home as she was out, blah, blah blah.

I told him (jokingly) to never let your missus out of the house, especially on a Saturday night, and he was a bad example to real men. The bouncer in the taxi queue and all the other blokes joined in, and when I told him my missus always waited up for me with a hot cup of tea and a shag, he went off on one big time and said these sort of things never happen, to which everyone said it was because he was weak. He did take it pretty well and didn't seem the sort to go home and hit her or anything, quite the reverse.

 

Anyhow, then I went home to my missus who wasn't waiting up for me, didn't make me a cup of tea and definitely wasn't up for a shag (surprise, surprise) so I just woke her up anyway at 1.00am because she's working today. I will be paid back for this, probably about the same time tomorrow morning as I'm on earlies and she's off.

[purplebargeken]

Oh just FRO! 

[fordperv]

  On 13/12/2015 at 04:33, Hirst said:

The mistake they've made is to be in a position where they've asking for permission, instead of just saying they're going. Unfortunately, it's gradually become a social norm for men to be pathetic and under the thumb.

Couldn't agree more, I had an argument with mrs fp because "i fuck off and help people" i mean for fuck sake, would she rather I was one of them arseholes who cares about himself and everyone else can go fuck themselves, will I stop helping folks, will I fuck

[michael1703]

Last night we had been to see friends, jumped into the car in howling wind and rain,I reversed off their drive on right lock and felt a bump which I assumed to be the NSF wheel dropping down the kerb, looked in my mirror to see I was very near to a black car parked opposite, full left lock,osf wheel up the kerb and drove off.

 

on the 40 mile drive home and last night/this morning I've been wondering if I hit it or not

 

Was doing 0.1 mph so shouldn't have done any damage if I did but I'm still not sure I got close enough to make contact

[DeeJay]

  On 13/12/2015 at 08:17, Cavcraft said:

On that sort of basis we spent half an hour in a taxi queue last night telling a lad of 27 that he had it all wrong. He was whinging on about his missus and how he had two kids so he had to get home as she was out, blah, blah blah.

I told him (jokingly) to never let your missus out of the house, especially on a Saturday night, and he was a bad example to real men. The bouncer in the taxi queue and all the other blokes joined in, and when I told him my missus always waited up for me with a hot cup of tea and a shag, he went off on one big time and said these sort of things never happen, to which everyone said it was because he was weak. He did take it pretty well and didn't seem the sort to go home and hit her or anything, quite the reverse.

 

Anyhow, then I went home to my missus who wasn't waiting up for me, didn't make me a cup of tea and definitely wasn't up for a shag (surprise, surprise) so I just woke her up anyway at 1.00am because she's working today. I will be paid back for this, probably about the same time tomorrow morning as I'm on earlies and she's off.

I can see the Daily Post headline.

Body found .floating in the Dee.

Wife arrested.

She said.

"He came home at 2 in the morning, full of ale and s**t. woke me up demanding a cuppa and his leg over!"

"He'd been told it's his conjugal rights"

"I'm not having that, it's not his birthday."

"I'm in in work at 7. And I had my usual headache," 

"I already had a cob on because I said he couldn't go out with his mates but he just snuck out when I was having a dump". 

[cort16]

When I was 19 I woke up at 2 in the mornings after a really vivid dream with a brilliant idea that with 100% clarity would not only have created my personal fortune but would have had a profound effect on the human race . When I woke up in the morning I couldn't remember what it was. It's annoyed me ever since as even if it was bullshit I'll never flippin know either way.

No doubt it'll come back to me on my death bed .

[purplebargeken]

I know what you mean. I awoke with 6 Lotto numbers in my head. I could only remember 3. They were of course winning numbers.

 

Never quite got over that. 

[chaseracer]

At least you won a tenner, Ken.

 

[Cheggers]

  On 12/12/2015 at 20:50, jakebullet said:

A bad night just had due to kinky girl can be batshit mental.

 

She's reading headlines in the oh so accurate daily mirror in a shop, and decides Cameron is going to try to evict her from her flat. No dear, he isn't. But he wants to! Maybe he does, but I doubt it. She then gets angry that if she was to suddenly become capable of having a job she would have to pay for her drugs, and it's not fair cos she needs them or she'll die. Again dear, chances of that are rather remote.

 

We then watch the excellent* cinematic treat, 50 shades of boring bollocks while she gets pissed, while at same time saying I'm not drunk me. Off to bed, at which point she decides I'm wrong about something trivial, and she wants to go straight to sleep and the best plan is to take a sleeping pill with "avoid alcohol" written in large letters on the box. I get close to sod all sleep as I'm slightly worried she may cark it.

 

Today she's all 'love you', and why are you tired? Hmmm, dunno love.

Run as fast as your little legs can carry you.

 

After extensive* research I can confirm that the part of a woman's brain that makes them kinky in bed is the same part that makes them psychopathic the rest of the time.

 

The trick is to work out when your "acceptable balance" of sexual excitement/ personal wellbeing lies.

 

Please don't take this personally, but you don't come across as being as capable of managing a truly pervy fruitloop as some others on here (I'm looking at you Taff lad...).

 

Find yourself a lass that's happy to have a bit of fun between the sheets but is less likely to cut your brake lines because you forgot to put sugar in her tea.

 

Sent from my SM-N910F using Tapatalk

[Cavcraft]

  On 13/12/2015 at 10:05, cort16 said:

cort16, on 13 Dec 2015 - 10:05 AM, said:

When I was 19 I woke up at 2 in the mornings after a really vivid dream with a brilliant idea that with 100% clarity would not only have created my personal fortune but would have had a profound effect on the human race . When I woke up in the morning I couldn't remember what it was. It's annoyed me ever since as even if it was bullshit I'll never flippin know either way.

No doubt it'll come back to me on my death bed .

 

 

Pretty sure it was the one about buying as many silver Berlingos as you can and going round purchasing petrol engine disability scooters.

[purplebargeken]

Sorry to agree about Kinky Girl but she does sound potentially like a future world of pain and hassle. Less psychopathic models are available. Honest.

[jakebullet]

I set myself up a bit for pain 'cos I knew she was going to hospital, and I know it sets her off. Foolish me thought a bribe of £5 petrol station flowers would offset it. Going to hold on longer 'cos some of her suggestions for 'when it gets a bit warmer' sound fun.

[DeeJay]

  On 13/12/2015 at 11:43, jakebullet said:

I set myself up a bit for pain 'cos I knew she was going to hospital, and I know it sets her off. Foolish me thought a bribe of £5 petrol station flowers would offset it. Going to hold on longer 'cos some of her suggestions for 'when it gets a bit warmer' sound fun.

She's going to set fire to the flowers and shove them up your arse.

It's going to be "fun" for her.

[MarvinsMom]

  On 13/12/2015 at 11:45, DeeJay said:

She's going to set fire to the flowers and shove them up your arse.

It's going to be "fun" for her.

ROFL.........

[Cheggers]

I wonder how many men have gone missing (only to be found later under a patio) while waiting for a Nutella lubricated tit wank *other fantasies are available* "when it gets a bit warmer"?

 

She'll still be a fruitcake in the spring...

 

 

 

Sent from my SM-N910F using Tapatalk

[dugong]

  On 13/12/2015 at 12:57, Cheggers said:

I wonder how many men have gone missing (only to be found later under a patio) while waiting for a Nutella lubricated tit wank *other fantasies are available* "when it gets a bit warmer"?

 

She'll still be a fruitcake in the spring...

 

 

 

Sent from my SM-N910F using Tapatalk

You are Warren T Claim's Saturday night AICMFP.

[anonymous user]

  On 13/12/2015 at 11:43, jakebullet said:

I set myself up a bit for pain 'cos I knew she was going to hospital, and I know it sets her off. Foolish me thought a bribe of £5 petrol station flowers would offset it. Going to hold on longer 'cos some of her suggestions for 'when it gets a bit warmer' sound fun.

You may be ok, but I'd worry if she talks about buying a nice shed for the garden

 

http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/murder-suspect-used-garden-husbands-10587797