The grumpy thread

[jakebullet]

Now the cables on the clock hand, wouldn't the clock hand take a lot of the energy?

 

That's why the clock is broken in 1985.

[hairnet]

grand designs

 

theyre having a rat look steel sheet roof

 

and theyre having trouble putting it up - even tho lots of measuring etc and precise stuff etc and the 'weathering' effect isnt quite what they wanted from the spanish factory - it doesnt fit in places

 

it cost 60k ffs

 

why not install it and weather it when its on and they know it fits

[MarvinsMom]

serves them right for buying cheap foreign shit steel.

 

in a related  grump on "Don't tell the bride" some dumb hipster/dub likka/half wit is getting wed in the middle of some vw car show.

 

the bride looks delighted*

[Pillock]

He has got a very nice Golf though.

[andy18s]

He has got a very nice Golf though.

What'll it do mista ?

[MarvinsMom]

to be fair to said pillock, he managed to pull it off and the day went better than he could/should have hoped it would.

[Danblez]

Oh my god gumtree mongs are something else. Have read a lot of the AS massive dealing with them buts it's far worse than I ever imagined.

 

Anyone need a cheap concrete mixer?

[scaryoldcortina]

oddly enough, last week I bought a concrete mixer, on Gumtree, from a man who lives in a caravan park which is on an industrial estate. No problems at all, but he did ring me a day or so later to try and sell me a Puegeot 307.

[beko1987]

Pukey child

[cort16]

I plucked a bit of hair out my nose today that looked liked 8mm mig wire . I'm getting old

[MrDuke]

The joys* of home deliveries in the pitch darkness, down tiny lanes where 10 different houses over several square miles all share the same postcode, where the 'helpful' instructions telling you how many trees are in the garden are useless because you can't see further than the single beam from your single working headlamp bulb (no, we can't be trusted to fit spares on our own), and you can't pull over because the 4x4 behind you won't be able to squeeze past, and the customer isn't answering their sodding phone, and why the HELL can't people put the name of their damn house on their gatepost in letters big enough to read from more than 2 feet away, and all this could've been avoided if you weren't so tight-fisted that you specified a late-evening slot just so you could save £2 on the delivery for your £120 order of Prosecco and brioches.

[Pillock]

Do you get some sort of half-witted satnav for supermarket deliveries?

Sainsburys driver last week was moaning about how there's no house numbers on his satnav for this postcode. Except the house is circa 1910, and has had a postcode for as long as postcodes were a thing, and has 9" high numbers inlaid to the glass in the door. It did sound like he needed the machine to tell him where to pull up rather than looking for numbers, which seemed strange.

 

I did couriering for a bit. Even in the daylight I could get hopelessly lost looking for some places, you finally find it and the customer says "oh yeah, nobody can ever find us". And you look at the blank "special instructions" box on the parcel, and just feel like stabbing your pen in their forehead.

[Louise2cv]

*memories of working for the gas board (as my elderly customers would call it)*

 

Think PC 2cv has said similar in the past too, but at least he can radio someone with a computer and OS maps.

[D Spares & Tyres]

I took something to someone's house the other day. Number 3 he said. No problem, I parked on the drive on number 3

 

Rang him after no answer on the doorbell. 'Oh yes sorry, there's a 3 on the other side of the road too'

 

Personally I would of mentioned that but never mind

[HH-R]

FUCK hiccups.

[MrDuke]

I use my own Satnav (the 'company' ones are all about 4 years out of date, battered to hell, and lose signal all the time) - the problem is, in some areas one postcode will cover a huge rural area, and the Satnav will just take you to the most central address. If you get instructions from a previous driver it's much easier, but some of the customers are a bit clueless.

 

The best* time, apparently, is Saturnalia Christmas, when remote holiday cottages get rented out by city-dwellers. Typical phonecall:

"I'm having trouble finding you?"

"Oh, we're in the house next to the field with sheep in it."

"Umm, OK - are there any landmarks I can look out for?"

"Oh yeah, when we arrived we saw a horse just opposite the entrance to the drive!"

 

[HH-R]

It's like what they say on Father Ted:

 

Terry: Is there anywhere we could get some good shots, Father? Any local landmarks or anything?
Ted: No, no, you won't find any landmarks here, Terry.
Terry: None at all?
Ted: No, well the island itself is a sort of landmark, for ships and things. The general rule is that if you're going away from it, you're going in the right direction.

[fred]

Some high flying mongtard decided to take umbrage over me not letting him into the flow of traffic in Brum today - He had I think some big assed 7 series Beemer on a 63 plate - and took it upon himself to cut up folk just to get to me?? pulled up next to me at traffic lights and just went hippity ca ca at me - ''Think your something you fucking pleb? blah blah blah''

 

''Sir my car is probably worth the cost of your evening lunch, your car is probably worth the same as my house, now would you like your fucking evening lunch to lock iits steering over and fuck your day up? - Im insured and my car is paid for - is yours paid yet fucktard?''

 

wanker ! he sped off if an even more of a pap than I met him dayum guess all the luxuries of a posh beemer doth not sooth the savage beast

[chaseracer]

the original date on the dash in bttf1 is oct 26 1985 4.29

 

not oct 21st

 

Feck.  Have we got all this shit again on Monday?  It'll be like going back in time...

[Dick Cheeseburger]

That whining lass Sam Smith. How the hell she* was asked to sing a Bond feem toon I don't understand. The local cats having a fight sounds better on the ears tbh.

[dave21478]

I plucked a bit of hair out my nose today that looked liked 8mm mig wire . I'm getting old

I get those on my ears. They grow at an astounding rate, too.

 

The latest addition to my personal grooming kit is now a long-nosed ciggy lighter used to singe my wayward ear hairs off.

[fordperv]

I was slowing down earlier to find a place to stop whilst popping something into the doctors, when a self important audi driver tried to come around me on my right hand side as I was turning right with indicators blinking to show my intentions, then has the fecking cheek to blast their horn at me as if I was in the wrong. Did they get confused what these orange flashing lights on each corner and on the wings of my car mean

[Ghosty]

Yes, it's an Audi driver.

[J-Rod]

Now, here's a funny thing; whilst dropping Mrs J-Rod off at work this morning, I saw in the carpark a guy in a brand new Audi A7 talking to a guy in a Highways truck through the window. I instantly assumed that they were having an argument about something driving related, simply because he was driving a new A7. They probably weren't. No arms were waving and neither of them looked angry... 

 

Felt a bit bad about making a snap judgement like that after :s 

[cort16]

I get those on my ears. They grow at an astounding rate, too.

 

The latest addition to my personal grooming kit is now a long-nosed ciggy lighter used to singe my wayward ear hairs off.

I think the reason you get more tired as you get old is due to all the energy your body is putting into growing nose and ear hair.

[gordonbennet]

I get those on my ears. They grow at an astounding rate, too.

 

The latest addition to my personal grooming kit is now a long-nosed ciggy lighter used to singe my wayward ear hairs off.

 

Jeeezus, you are the terminator AICMFP.

 

For gawds sake someone point Dave out to me will yer in case i annoy the sod and forget to call him sir...kinell blow lamp in the shell likes heard it all now.

[alf892]

I think the reason you get more tired as you get old is due to all the energy your body is putting into growing nose and ear hair.

Yeah......they certainly grow well!

 

It surprises me that someone hasn't realised it is ear wax and snot that makes hair grow and marketed it.......

[DeeJay]

 

It surprises me that someone hasn't realised it is ear wax and snot that makes hair grow and marketed it.......

I've been rubbing them on my head for years, doesn't work.

[hairnet]

Feck.  Have we got all this shit again on Monday?  It'll be like going back in time...

feckin hope not ive seen the films enuff already

[Timewaster]

Doesn't he go back a few days early to prevent the doc getting shot by Libians.

 

I guess I'll find out when I have to

sit through them again. Mrs has never seen them.