The grumpy thread

[daveb47]

For making shit money..........

 

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/technology-science/science/strapped-cash-become-poo-donor-4483723

[richardmorris]

At a roundabout you check the traffic to your RIGHT.  Indicators help too, as does lane discipline.  FFS, it's not that difficult!

 

I was just going to moan about that same thing. No one seems to give way to the right anymore.

[beko1987]

I backed into a bush last night. Didnt think too much of it, checked to make sure the rear screen wasnt broken, it wasnt so carried on with what I was doing.

 

Leaving work today, I picked up a hoover that I lent a colleague, drove over to her car and she said 'your rear light is broken'. Fucker is and all, smashed it on the LH side, luckily it's the other 'fog light' unit with no bulb or holder in. That must have been what the crack was when I hit the bush.

 

That'll need some sellotape then at the weekend, and makes my car look even more pikeyish than usual... Best not get infront of any police cars either tomorrow (never any about usually, sods law etc)

[michael1703]

I was just going to moan about that same thing. No one seems to give way to the right anymore.

Blame Blair/Brown gubbermint

[Tetleysmooth]

Trying to find an adjustable spanner with jaws that open up to 35mm plus locally, is like trying to find the Holy effing Grail.

 

Need it tomorrow morning to replace a ball valve in my loft.

 

It decided it was going to piss out today. Bastard thing.

[scaryoldcortina]

Pipe wrench.

[michael1703]

Bahco go up to about 40, screwfix will have one

[michael1703]

Open til 10

 

http://www.screwfix.com/jsp/tradeCounter/tradeCounterDetailsPage.jsp?id=155

[Tetleysmooth]

I've got a huge Stilson, but they seem a bit brutal. Don't really want to chew up the new ballvalve.

 

Good info on Screwfix.

 

I wouldn't be in this position, but had a few bits stolen.

[Tetleysmooth]

Never heard it called that before, but no need to brag mate.

 

We speak a funny language here in East Lahndun.

 

Screwfix to the rescue. They've got everything I need at my local store.

It can dribble until the morning now.

[The Moog]

Signed up to the green deal which was a way to get a new boiler, insulation etc and the cost going on your electric bill

 

Was going swimmingly until Tories pulled the plug on the deal. We literally were the last people to get the voucher. The company we are dealing with has laid off most of their staff so getting hold of someone is a nightmare.

 

We are waiting for the installers to come and measure up, yet 9 weeks later and lots chasing nothing has happened.

 

Boiler is could do with a service and only half the radiators work. But if it is getting replaced I wasnt going to pay for it to get done.

[barmatt]

Fog lights on all the time, AARRGGHHH!

 

Going through a local village last night and a Nissan Puke comes towards me with not only its 4 headlights on but fogs too, that's 6 fuckin lights!!! how much shit can't you see? I can only assume that you took one look at your car when you bought it and were blinded by its ugliness.

 

I miss my old Disco with 6x100w spots that I could flash at these retards.

[HH-R]

Puke lights are right on eye level too for when the owner is invariably driving right up your chuff.

 

New Corsa and Adam lights are absolutely BLINDING! I've had an Adam behind me a few times that is retina burning in all three mirrors, really horrible piercing blue light. I thought it was some dodgy aftermarket HID kit or something but I had a brand new Corsa behind me too that was the same.

[jakebullet]

New sink in kitchen currently being fitted is BL era steel. Bastard thing actually flexes when you turn tap on. Told Ma to tell fitters to take it back. No, she'd much rather put up with it, whine about it for 6 months and then pay for a better replacement.

 

Cooker is coming from argos from 7:30 am tomorrow. So she'll be up from 2am 'just in case' and then will be moaning she's tired all day. I'm so fucking off to kinky girl's place at the first chance I get.

[purplebargeken]

Take a splint and bandage just in case

[purplebargeken]

Enfield council sent round leaflets to every home in the road today about bins with wrong stuff in them, being left out all week, etc, etc. Lovely.

 

All in English. They didn't bother with Somali, Bulgarian, Polish or Romanian versions.

 

So the 8 households who can read the leaflet may take some notice......

[Timewaster]

 

Cooker is coming from argos from 7:30 am tomorrow. So she'll be up from 2am 'just in case' and then will be moaning she's tired all day. I'm so off fucking to kinky girl's place at the first chance I get.

[wuvvum]

Just been doing some practice hazard perception tests.  Worraloadofold bo11ox.  One clip showed a LCW cyclist looking a bit wobbly up ahead, so I clicked - he was indeed the hazard, but I clicked too soon, even though the review said "he's wearing high-vis clothing so is visible from a long distance away", so I scored 0.  A later clip also featured a cyclist in similar circumstances - I deliberately waited a bit before clicking, but then scored 2 out of 5 because I clicked too late.

 

If the real HP test is like this I've got no fucking chance.

[Richard]

If the real HP test is like this I've got no fucking chance.

I think it is. I read somewhere that the trick is to count to three before clicking.

[chaseracer]

I miss my old Disco with 6x100w spots that I could flash...

 

My mate Andy's 2CV is equipped to deal with such situations!

 

 

(That Blingo looks familiar...) 

[explosive-cabbage]

Had today off work because I need a rest and a lay in. Every weekend is taken up with the missus wanting to do "something" and most evenings after work I spend learning stuff for work anyway so I barely ever get to do nothing. I'm usually fine with this but lately I'm exhausted.

 

Our lass gets up at 6am for work. Turns the big light on because she can't find her bra or some bollocks and wakes me up. Sends the dogs upstairs who come bouncing across the bed trampling on my head. Has a shower, goes downstairs into the kitchen and starts shouting "OH DAVE DAVE THE SHOWER IS LEAKING AGAIN QUICK" so I get out of bed and have a look and sure enough there's a damp spot on the ceiling and water coming down the wall. I go in the bathroom for a piss to find she's just done her usual trick of having the shower on full bore for half an hour (to warm the bathroom up) and leaving the fucker half pointing down the wall so most water just runs along the edge of the bath and down the side, and the entire floor is covered in water.

I settle the dogs back down and get back in bed and fall back asleep. 

 

"DAVE IT'S BIN DAY WHAT BIN IS IT TODAY?"

Of course I don't bloody know, why not look out of the window and see what everyone else has out, just like I would have to?

 

She leaves for work, I get my head down again. Then my phone rings.

"DAVE! it's the recycling bin I couldn't move it cos there's all stuff in the way. I've just seen the bin lorry up the road you need to put it out quick"

So I get out of bed, sling some clothes on. I get to the bin and there is a singular 2' square piece of 9mm MDF leant against it.

Put the bin out. Settle the dogs back down, back in bed.

 

Phone rings again.

"DAVE! will you go into town to pick a parcel up for me today?, I forgot to have it delivered to work instead and it needed signing for"

 

She's lovely and everything but jesus christ life was much easier when I was single.

 

Easy - just change your name. Then when she shouts, you don't have to respond

 

Come home from work one day with an address label on your chest with BRIAN written on it, and see if she catches on.

 

 

My knees, my back,my shoulders, mutter grumble etc

 

Spent Saturday laying turf at home and killed my knees, this afternoon I had to take a turbo off a merc vito, but being a v6 the turbo is in the V under the scuttle and I've been reaching in and kneeling and perching myself in the engine bay.

 

Find an old foam/feather deckchair cushion, the deeper the better. Then lay it over the engine bay when working down the back of the engine, and lay your chest on it to take weight off your legs/back. Keeps two arms free too! Sometimes jacking the front of the car up helps, so the front scuttle panel is the same height as your belly.

[dollywobbler]

 

 

Find an old foam/feather deckchair cushion, the deeper the better. Then lay it over the engine bay when working down the back of the engine, and lay your chest on it to take weight off your legs/back. Keeps two arms free too! Sometimes jacking the front of the car up helps, so the front scuttle panel is the same height as your belly.

 

Wow. I love it! How stupidly simple.

[bub2006]

My mate just been and bought a new car after his last one was written off. Lovely zafira automatic. I've just drove into the back of him at a junction. Today's gonna be one of them days

[dugong]

SHIT. You alright?

[Bren]

My mate just been and bought a new car after his last one was written off. Lovely zafira automatic. I've just drove into the back of him at a junction. Today's gonna be one of them days

Hope you are ok Bub. Auto zafira? You have done him a favour

[bub2006]

Yea I'm ok. Chest hurts where seatbelt got me. Focus has a tiny scratch on bumper. The zafira has fucked back bumper,bent beam behind it,twisted bootlid too. Shocked how much damage it's done to his but not mine. My fault though,waiting at an island he went to pull off then braked sharp,I looked to the right and realised he had stopped so hit brakes and foot slipped off.

[vulgalour]

d'oh!

[richardmorris]

Just reported a taxi to the Surrey police via their road safe site. Don't know if they'll actually read it though. Decided he couldn't be bothered to wait until the road was wide enough to pass so drove into me, hitting the pannier bag. When I waved at him to back off he blasted his horn before accelerating past and swerving into the kerb ( think he hit it too) then carried on. Broad daylight wearing hi viz night vision gilet and 2w rear lights on too.

 

Well mr e class licence number 2514, temper temper!

[beko1987]

Hopefully being a mate you can do a scrapyard run and sort it out without insurance getting involved.

 

Or swap cars!

[Cavcraft]

dugong, on 16 Oct 2015 - 2:47 PM, said:

SHIT. You alright?

 

 

Never mind that, how's the Vauxhall?