The grumpy thread

[Pillock]

But it's glorious sunshine now.

Advance warning for the Leics area - I'm taking the MG out around lunchtime with the roof down. Expect rain, sleet, hail, plague of locust around 12.40

[Alan_Green]

Message boards on the M25 in the early hours of this morning said "salt spreading"!

[Lacquer Peel]

I've been collecting discarded bottles of waste veg oil from various laybys and truck stops and now my XM won't start! Changed the filter and nothing!

 

Any advice?

Is the fuel filter properly seated and primed?

 

PSA diesels I've had before are fitted with a gauze on the fuel tank pickup/sender.

[steve_earwig]

Maybe some of the bottles didn't contain waste veg oil?

[Pillock]

Message boards on the M25 in the early hours of this morning said "salt spreading"!

 

APRIL FOOLS!

[MrDuke]

Maybe some of the bottles didn't contain waste veg oil?

I'd be very suspicious of bottles in laybys containing dirty yellow fluid...

[Pillock]

You mean that's not Lucozade?

[Lankytim]

It does stink to be fair

[alf892]

Have you checked the date on the bottles?

[Inspector Morose]

Probably best before April 1st

[anonymous user]

Ebay - when I list an item as a classified ad and untick the box for best offers, that is because I do not want to receive random best offers from people who have made no contact and have not seen the car. Thank-you for deciding that I did not know what I was doing and deciding to add this feature to my advert. Even though I have since updated the listing to remove it you have again decided that I am wrong and put it back there. I appreciate that if someone is in France it is difficult for them to come to see the car, so obviiously that is why, without seeing it or asking any questions, it must be worth a third less than I am asking for it. Sod off ebay.

[The Moog]

Phone has kicked the bucket. After 14 months ..piece of shit. Felt like billy no mates until realised it wasn't connecting, kept dropping calls, or not ringing then voicemails popping up 3 days later, power button broke, now wont collect emails cant reboot it, battery needs charging twice a day, etc.  It was a top of the range Lumia as well.

 

Not due an upgrade until 2016 so had to buy one out of my pocket.  MS can go suck donkey balls. 

[HillmanImp]

Phone has kicked the bucket. After 14 months ..piece of shit. Felt like billy no mates until realised it wasn't connecting, kept dropping calls, or not ringing then voicemails popping up 3 days later, power button broke, now wont collect emails cant reboot it, battery needs charging twice a day, etc.  It was a top of the range Lumia as well.

 

Not due an upgrade until 2016 so had to buy one out of my pocket.  MS can go suck donkey balls. 

 

If its just failed it should be replaced then shouldn't it. Its not like its broken because you dropped it down the bog is it?

[Pillock]

Because there's always time for Pedantry - Microsoft don't make phones.

 

But yeah, phone the network and check on warranty. EE covered my Samsung for the term of my contract.

[nebuchenezer]

Phone has kicked the bucket. After 14 months ..piece of shit. Felt like billy no mates until realised it wasn't connecting, kept dropping calls, or not ringing then voicemails popping up 3 days later, power button broke, now wont collect emails cant reboot it, battery needs charging twice a day, etc.  It was a top of the range Lumia as well.

 

Not due an upgrade until 2016 so had to buy one out of my pocket.  MS can go suck donkey balls. 

 

I had a 920 on Vodaphone that started playing up a year into a 2 year contract - Vodaphone sent it away to be repaired, failed, then gave me a new one under warranty - sold it as soon as I could and bought a cheap handset to use up the rest of my contract.

 

I don't know anyone who has a nokia with windows on it that has not had a problem with it - utter shite they are

[dave21478]

What went wrong? With the old Nokias if you dropped them you were more likely to break the pavement than the phone!

 

Everything really WAS better before 19*insert year of choice*

[steve_earwig]

My wife's cousin dropped her eye-fone down t'bog and then panicked because she was out of contact with her friends. Queue frantic searching of draws for an old working phone. Ffs you're a 40 year old mother of one, not a bloody teenager

[quicksilver]

The Daily Fail have hit a new low in their quality* reportage by managing to contrive their article on the Stondon auction into a piece about Clarkson. Not only is it full of the usual errors and inaccuracies, they're seriously suggesting both Clarkson and Chris Evans will be among the bidders - I didn't think things like a wob-filled Allegro, a rusty Lada and a Talbot Alpine were really Clarkson's style, but "now he has more time" they reckon he'll spend it buying old tat from a leaky garden centre  FFS, why couldn't they have just done a straightforward piece on a load of interesting cars coming up for sale without bringing JC into everything? If you really want to read this dross here's the link: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3019514/Here-s-busy-Jeremy-Britain-s-biggest-private-car-collection-set-sale-Clarkson-rumoured-replacement-Chris-Evans-expected-bidders.html

[cort1977]

I read that (I'm ashamed to say).   I don't think they actually managed to name the museum in the piece in all their wittering about that populist knobber.

[HH-R]

Three Lumia 630/635s in the family and they've been OK so far. My sister had a Windows Phone (not sure what make it was) and said it was shite, but she lets the kids play with her phones and so are always gaffer taped together with smashed screens etc.

[jakebullet]

Last week I signed up for a business reserve account at santander. Which was a mega ball ache, as you need* a half hour interview with a git who wants to know absolutely everything. Er, I'm not trying to borrow money, I'm trying to get a laughable rate of interest on my own cash out of you bastards.

 

Fast forwards to today, and I have a pin number I won't remember and a shiny new card. so I took it in to the bank to change it. At which point I discovered it's totally bloody useless. Said card lets me see what the account balance is. Can't take money out with it. Can't put money in. WTF is the point of that?

[MrDuke]

Well, now that you're an actual Businessman, you'll need an unobtrusive tool for lining up your 'talc' at lunchtime. And for de-icing the screen on your new A6.

 

I'm fairly sure it mentions this in the small-print somewhere.

[quicksilver]

I read that (I'm ashamed to say).   I don't think they actually managed to name the museum in the piece in all their wittering about that populist knobber.

You're right, it's completely useless for anyone who might actually be interested in buying something.

Name and location of museum? Nope

Date of auction? Nope

Auctioneers' name and contact details? Nope

Type and condition of lots? Nope

 

But you don't need to know any of that because JEREMY CLARKSON WILL BE THERE!!!!!!

 

This quote amused me: 'For anyone who likes Top Gear - this is their ultimate playground.' but it's full of the types of car the TG fanboys take their perverted pleasure in laughing at

 

Verdict: a waste of internet.

[Richard]

Is it an April Fool?

[HillmanImp]

Bloody buskers on town centres. 

 

I love a good busker me, on the most part it is a pleasant soundtrack on your dreary stroll around town. However, WTF is going on with them all using amplifiers turned up to 11 these days? Its fucking awful, especially when they are as shit as the ones outside M&S in York town centre today.

 

Although I would like to see this lot but still don't see why they need an amp, although don't understand these sorts of things but really think its not needed on the most part. 

 

[jakebullet]

Every photo costs a pound?

 

How much for a boot up the arse?

[jakebullet]

 Message from buyer
 hey man. would like #11 red stripe. listen man, i have ordered one of these for a golf, but my car is a hyundai coupe. you don't list a hyundai coupe, and i don't know what the thread measurement is. now, are these thread fits kind of universal do you know???? if not, can you contact me and i can measure it somehow???? or can i put it on with some no more nails perhaps? cheers mate.

 

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !

[MrDuke]

Send him one with no hole at all, and tell him to position it carefully over the shaft then headbutt it repeatedly, as hard as he can.

[richardmorris]

Last week I signed up for a business reserve account at santander. Which was a mega ball ache, as you need* a half hour interview with a git who wants to know absolutely everything. Er, I'm not trying to borrow money, I'm trying to get a laughable rate of interest on my own cash out of you bastards.

 

Fast forwards to today, and I have a pin number I won't remember and a shiny new card. so I took it in to the bank to change it. At which point I discovered it's totally bloody useless. Said card lets me see what the account balance is. Can't take money out with it. Can't put money in. WTF is the point of that?

Quite. We don't have cards for our business accounts- rely on those paper thingies once a month that tell you what's in the accounts. We last heard from our business manager in 2009. How's that for service natwest!

[laser wheels]

Just had my first ever fixed penalty notice or at least a request for driver details, which I'm guessing will result in same.

 

My crime? A maniacal 37mph, m'lud.