The grumpy thread

[Cavcraft]

At one time you could report all that 'Mexico RS200 Escort Mk2 Allegro oil cap' shit as keyword spamming, and to be fair Ebay would remove the listings. It can possibly still be the case, might be worth a try.

[dugong]

Could they ban all the penniless morons as well? 

[Slappy]

Noticed that I've got a crack in the fascia for the in built cd player in my Fiesta. Just very annoying as I expect that climactic conditions have caused that and nothing else.

[quicksilver]

Dog shit. Big piles of it everywhere, including in the middle of a footpath. Not a pleasant sight or smell. Why can't people clean up after their dogs?

[fordperv]

It's just bad owners, not everyone is the same, I had a fella i didn't know knock on mine asking if he could have a bucket of soapy water and a yard brush so he could clean up where his dog had a very large loose poo outside my drive that couldn't be picked up in a bag, what a considerate owner with a lovely german shepherd.

[cms206]

Council Estate has jettisoned it's exhaust centre box in what I expect is the Volvo equivalent of a dirty protest. The torn-faced blue arsed bastard.

[hairnet]

side exit ftw

[twosmoke300]

It's just bad owners, not everyone is the same, I had a fella i didn't know knock on mine asking if he could have a bucket of soapy water and a yard brush so he could clean up where his dog had a very large loose poo outside my drive that couldn't be picked up in a bag, what a considerate owner with a lovely german shepherd.

Slightly different but same principal but when my wife was in the early stages of pregnancy we were walking up into town on a sat morning when she suddenly threw up on the pavement . She was so embarrassed she walked home and got the bucket and scrubbing brush etc .

I think she found it worse cos it was a sat morning and people would just assume she was hing over .

[cobblers]

If I ever feel sick, no matter what time of day I make sure to go to the nearest garden center and use their bogs, it's the only polite thing to do. It's much preferable than just spewing in a backwoods hedgebottom or something

[Bren]

Had a cough headaches and general shitty feel for the last two months.

 

Antibiotics didn't work, I am eating paracetamol to get rid of a permanent headache.

 

My IBS has flared up, can feel my bowel going into spasm. My back is aching as well.

 

Back to the quack. Starting to worry as I have never had anything that has lingered as long as this.

[Lankytim]

Urgh, probably not the forum for this but anyway..

 

Dear Deadrie...

 

Went out for drinks and a curry with work on Saturday night, pretty informal affair. A gorgeous lass in our party caught my eye and we really hit it off, flirting and generally having a nice time. This sounds great except for the fact that I've been married for 10 years and have 2 kids, mortgage and all the trappings of family life. She has a long term BF.

 

This sexpot was 10 years younger than me, funny, beautiful and really knew how to flirt, it felt good to have the attention of a nice looking bird after 10 years of being off the market. It's the first time it's happened to me! She said that of we'd been single she'd be all over me, but oh well, maybe another time.

 

Yesterday I had a friend notification on FB... It was her.. I stared at her name for about 5 minutes wondering if I should accept her, and continue this doomed fantasy. Obv I clicked accept.

 

I feel like I should totally cut off all contact with her as I can't imagine the carnage it would cause if something happened between us. I've no intention of pursuing it, but why have temptation in the way? I suspect she's just a flirty character and does it with all the fellas and she hasn't given me a second thought since.

 

Have I been "emotionally unfaithful"?

 

It sucks being a stupid bloke sometimes!

 

Oh, and if anybody reads this that knows me or the Wife in real life then this is about a mate of mine, not me.

[Madmick]

I take my dog a walk every morning and evening across local fields for a minimum of 40 mins, he's a Labrador. Labrador,s won't shit in the open on footpaths unless they're desperate or ill and like us prefer a little bit of cover and quiet contemplation like a tall grassy corner of a field, you know , the place where all the shit from Mac f***ing Donald's collects after the brainless morons have wanged it out of the car window. I get back home only to find said moron breed has walked his dog just far enough for a shit ie, top of my drive. I hope the bastards slips on yesterday's offering and breaks their leg or is that why there's so many of the fat bastards on mobility scooters?

[MrDuke]

I suspect she's just a flirty character and does it with all the fellas and she hasn't given me a second thought since.

This. It's no reflection on you, or your level of desirability. It was a night out, you may well have been the only guy in the party that she had anything in common with, and she knows how to flirt.

 

I used to work closely with a girl who I clicked with massively, she was a total laugh on a night out, seemed to share my sense of humour and general cynicism, and was moderately stunning to boot. Needless to say, it ended very awkwardly indeed, although on the plus side I never actually copped off with her (much). Oddly, although we eventually ended up on friendly speaking terms, she appeared to have had a minor personality change since meeting her current boyfriend.

[Lankytim]

Yeah, I suspected as much. Still nice to have a fit 20 something fluttering her eye lashes at you. 

 

It did get me thinking though, if she had put it in a plate would I have gone for it? I was drunk but even so... is that all it's going to take to bust up our marriage and family?

[fordperv]

Tim i would tell your friend if you speak to her as a friend and have a bit of banter it's ok, if you think you and her might weaken and do something silly cut off contact with her, is a fumble enough reason to flush a wife and kids away, a friend of mine got offered it on a plate a few times from different women and point blank refused and is glad he did

 

More important was the curry nice?

[Lankytim]

Yes but I fell ill the following morning, literally shit myself on the Sunday night and felt so bad today that I had to cry off work. I've only just stopped shitting. Apart from that and nearly ruining my marriage It was a great night.

[fordperv]

Was it anywhere local as I'll be sure to avoid it

[Lankytim]

It was Ali Baba's in Hanley. To be fair it may not have been anything to do with the curry....

[Cavcraft]

I clearly haven't read all the messages on this subject, Tim, but after skim reading this page the best advice I can suggest is to text her and say SOZ, LUV, I ONLY WANTED TO MAKE YOUR RING STING WITH A CURRY, NOT MY PURPLE HEADED WOMB BROOM'

The capital letters will make it sound serious and she'll get the message.

[Cavcraft]

Ps: If she doesn't, then it's probably best* to shag her and throw your sim card away.

[jakebullet]

Went to the bank today. I would like one of your shiny business rewards saver accounts plz.

 

Oh, you'll have to have an appointment with Nigel our business manager. Friday 2pm is all he's got 'cos he's so wonderful and busy. Would you like that?

 

No, I'd like you shysters to pay me for using my money. I'm not interested in some shiny suit git trying to get me to take out a loan / move my credit cards / upgrade my account / sell me a chip n pin machine etc.

[fordperv]

I do go to ali baba's, I've had some right laughs in there, looks a right dingy place from the outside, if you like curry try quarma in leek, a bit more expensive than baba's but bugger me it's lovely

[vulgalour]

Significant others are a lot like cars.  You might live with a mundane, reliable, dependable old thing that does everything you need and prevents you from being a miserable bastard but every now and then something flash and fancy will zoom past and grab your attention and suddenly, you current mechanical companion seems vastly inferior.

 

Chase the zoompot and before you know where you are you're up to your eyeballs in garage bills, suffering car park separation anxiety and having to buy all sorts of things that make you unhappy just to keep your fling happy.  Sure, it's thrilling to go out now and then when it's all working and have that buzz of excitement but each time it's diminished until one day the big bill arrives and you wish you had that old plodder that patiently put up with all your crap with hardly any complaint.

 

Be a man, choose Charisma/Nippa/Allegro over Espada/Challenger/GTV every day.

 

 

BTW:  I'm shit at relationships, any advice I give is probably as flimsy as a Proton door skin.

[AlabamaShrimp]

Or on the other hand all that one life bollocks and go chasing after her. Dependable plodder can be very boring and all that why not go for a few test drives just to be sure

[captain_70s]

Significant others are a lot like cars.

Hope the future bird* isn't 'owt like the Doloshites. If she is she'd refuse to wake up in the morning, pile out of bed at 4pm and then punch me in the gut and take off with my wallet.

 

 

*Note to self, future bird isn't going to exist if I keep calling lady folk "birds".

[vulgalour]

People not indicating, people on their mobiles while driving (especially so with both of these in conjunction with roundabouts) and today a back seat passenger only putting their seatbelt on when prompted.  I also really don't like people driving who are so tired that they appear drunk.  [/end nag]

[EssDeeWon]

^I still see so many people driving and using mobile phones, and 95% fall into the below two catagories

 

• White van man
• Young bird driving battered KA

[Lacquer Peel]

I rarely see farmers driving tractors here without some kind of phone, probably with JCB/John Deere/Fordson Major branding, wedged between their cabbage ears and ham hands.

[DS20]

 

 

• Young bird driving battered KA

 

 

 

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[fordperv]

With headlamp eyelashes and pink hello kitty seat covers