The grumpy thread

[Richard]

Can't you acquire some large farm machinery with dangerously sticky throttles & defective brakes? Something with large blades and/or spiky tyres would be a bonus. As long as you apologise profusely after your mishap*, it'll be fine.

Something like a very rusty dragline crane?

[MarvinsMom]

Having thought about this previously, I'd get all those hunting wankers, smear them in meat paste and set a large pack of hungry Rottweilers and whatnot on them.

After all, it wouldn't last long and it's painless for them. It must be true because it's what the huntsmen say.

 

this is similar to what i'd like to do to thiose twats who think hunting foxes and the like with a pack of baying hounds is such fun.

 

only i'd be doing it with the lions at longleat. which i'd not feed for a day or two, before introducing these cunts covered in cow blood and with with a good sized steak tied around their neck, just so they could then expereince how humain it is to be torn to pieces... wankers.

 

only thing been it would'nt be fair to the lions.....

 

feeding them a bunch of bell ends like that.

 

cunts.

[Cavcraft]

It's ok, they're animal lovers. Which not only explains what happens to the fox, but also about them shooting the beagles when they go to about three years old, then feeding them to the other dogs. Lovely people, completely misunderstood by townies.

 

Or possibly just a bunch of hateful, bullying wankers.

[cort16]

I can kind of understand people hunting to eat or to cull numbers but not for sport. There's no justification for hunting an animal then letting it be ripped apart just for a laugh. How's that better than dog fights?

[steve_earwig]

But foxes are a pest, they spread diseases and steal bicycles. Without hunting their population would explode and cause tidal waves.

[MarvinsMom]

if the rich people enjoyed bear baiting or cock fighting, then i'm certain those pursuits would still be legal in this country.

 

wankers.

[chaseracer]

But foxes are a pest, they spread diseases and steal bicycles. Without hunting their population would explode and cause tidal waves.

Not to mention the effect on house prices.

[purplebargeken]

Most urban foxes get killed on the roads. Mostly by Audi drivers so it seems. 

[fred]

Badgers with large Foundry boots steal bikes round by me - then sell them on to foxes - who cause havoc with Audi drivers mostly

[MarvinsMom]

seen as the waffen-ss-panzer kampf gruppen aggressor units seem determined to kill me when ever i'm unfortunate enough to have to venture onto the motorway, and it doesn't make difference what car i'm driving.

 

plus i'm sure not one of them has a bushy red tail on the back

[MarvinsMom]

i'm alway having to keep an eye out for delinquent squirrels at home.

[purplebargeken]

It's such a pleasure coming home at times. It really is*.

[Jim Bergerac]

Paul Whitehouse. Wtf?

 

I have always wondered if the Aviva adverts were meant to be serious or if the gag was it was obviously Paul Whitehouse dressed up a bit doing a terrible version of a regional accent.

 

Now I see he has managed to make a TV series of the same thing.

 

Is it that the joke is on me, as a licence payer?

 

I've seen the trailer and it seems to be a number of characters - all played by Whitehouse - getting helped by a nurse. Didn't he do a series that was exactly the same - again with him playing a number of characters - but with a psychologist rather than a nurse?

 

So it's basically the exact same premise, as another show he's done. I think the joke is on the license payer.

[barefoot]

In other news, I frequent another forum that has recently upgraded it's swear filter.

Previously I used to write PISS & it used to replace it with ****, now it replaces it with 'yellow snow'

Ho Fucking Ho.

 

In a search for the ultimate insult that will effectively bypass the swear filter, I have wracked my brains and from the

part at the very back that contained juvenile cobblers like 'spunk', I found 'Joey',  - You fucking Joey etc.

To all but a very narrow age group who watched Blue Peter in the early 80's this is all but meaningless, but to those of you who 

are offended by it & I quote, "In 2007, Lynne Murphy, a linguist at the University of Sussex, described the term as being

"one of the most taboo insults to a British ear". I apologise just a bit more than a suitable amount.

[MrDuke]

^ Grin thread, shirley?

[Cavcraft]

I've somehow managed to turn traffic alerts on on my car stereo.

As if that wasn't bad enough it's Radio Fucking Merseyside and I can't shut the bastards up.

[UltraWomble]

Paging Beko

Paging Beko

Paging Beko

 

My uBer expensive vacuum cleaner the Dyson DC24 has lunched its brush bar motor. Replacing a £3 piece of rubber with a £30 motor - yeah great design there Jim, great design.

[eddyramrod]

[beko1987]

Paging Beko

Paging Beko

Paging Beko

 

My uBer expensive vacuum cleaner the Dyson DC24 has lunched its brush bar motor. Replacing a £3 piece of rubber with a £30 motor - yeah great design there Jim, great design.

First off, have you pressed the reset switch on the side of the housing whilst the machine is reclined and turned on? Also jab the brushroll on/off switch that sits by the on/off button.

 

Still nothing? Doesnt surprise me...

 

Yes, they all do that sir! 67 hours of life according to Johnstone, the makers of the motor!

 

You'll have to do some troubleshooting unelss you want to just replace the motor...

 

http://manchestervacs.co.uk/DysonForum/index.php/topic,108.0.html

 

shows the process very well tbh. It's not too bad, but a bit fiddly.

 

Once you get the cover off from the tutorial, grab a multimeter. Unplug the motor from the PCB. With the machine reclined to the vacuuming position, and turned on, you want to find 330v DC coming from this black plug

 

 

If there's 330v, it's the motor. Available here http://manchestervacs.co.uk/Dyson/DC24-spare-parts.html/DC24-brushbar-johnson-motor-914703-03

 

If you havent got 330v from the pcb, then you need to swear, then buy either a new pcb first then try the motor, or buy both... http://manchestervacs.co.uk/Dyson/DC24-spare-parts.html/DC24-PCB-Reset-Module-917831-01

 

99% of the time it's the motor, BUT, I replaced both the main motor and the brushroll motor for a chap the other day (£120 all in including my labour fee!) (PCB was healthy, 330v etc).

 

3 days after he had it back I get a snotty message, it's stopped. Had blown a contact right off the PCB the bastard. I have a DC24 at the moment to refurb and sell, so nicked the working pcb from that and fitted it. It did this to itself http://manchestervacs.co.uk/DysonForum/index.php/topic,1684.0.html

 

The pic above was taken JUST NOW as I bought a second hand one from someone to replace it! I;d get a new one though, will last longer and be less of a trip into the unknown (cost me a tenner, but I'm only 40% sure it will actually work tbh)

 

Then hope it lasts 4 months before it goes again... (I hate the 24).

 

Once I;ve finished my 24 I have a thread to put up on mvacs so if you need any future help you should find it!

 

Luckily Mvacs bought 3000 of the motors so got a megabarg with them, were £40ish previously - http://manchestervacs.co.uk/DysonForum/index.php/topic,914.0.html. I've used a few, they are very good (well they would be, their genuine)

 

I had a DC25 in January with a sparky motor, they do this as well - http://manchestervacs.co.uk/DysonForum/index.php/topic,1599.0.html

[AlabamaShrimp]

Can't seem to attach any file bigger than 500k now

[captain_70s]

I'm going to post my stupid fucking fuel story again...

 

I ran out of fuel in the Triumph yesterday, coasted down hill for about half a mile and came to a stop here:

 

 

The main road was too busy and steep to push the thing alone and no fucker would help, so I had to buy a £7 jerry can at the garage and fill it with £5 worth of fuel to drive the car 20 feet to the forcourt. Just to rub it in I then put £20 worth of Super at 125.9p a litre in the tank by accident because the sticker had fallen off the pump...

 

 

[EssDeeWon]

^I have to say that is quite an impressive grump!

[MrBiscuits]

I'm going to post my stupid fucking fuel story again...

 

I ran out of fuel in the Triumph yesterday, coasted down hill for about half a mile and came to a stop here:

 

 

The main road was too busy and steep to push the thing alone and no fucker would help, so I had to buy a £7 jerry can at the garage and fill it with £5 worth of fuel to drive the car 20 feet to the forcourt. Just to rub it in I then put £20 worth of Super at 125.9p a litre in the tank by accident because the sticker had fallen off the pump...

Not all bad though. Check out the stretched 'high top' XJ40 widow wagon parked up on the right.

[messerschmitt owner]

I'm going to post my stupid fucking fuel story again...

 

I ran out of fuel in the Triumph yesterday, coasted down hill for about half a mile and came to a stop here:

 

 

The main road was too busy and steep to push the thing alone and no fucker would help, so I had to buy a £7 jerry can at the garage and fill it with £5 worth of fuel to drive the car 20 feet to the forcourt. Just to rub it in I then put £20 worth of Super at 125.9p a litre in the tank by accident because the sticker had fallen off the pump...

You didn't run out of fuel - you're just in Aberdeen!

[hairnet]

On the starter surely?? Save 20 quid

[hairnet]

St Helens what a fkn dump

[captain_70s]

On the starter surely?? Save 20 quid

Starter is on the long list of "bits of car that are barely hanging on to life". It's hard enough getting the damn thing to work currently without making it drag the car around!

[MrDuke]

You should have bought a bottle of vodka from the garage and poured 2 or 3 shots into the car to get it the last few feet, then you could have used the remainder to console yourself about the whole situation afterwards.

[Lord Sterling]

Hmmm, where do I start...

 

New job decided my face didn't fit and a former employee has suddenly become available, so I was shoved out to make way for her (I'm agency, so not surprising)

 

Agency are generally being arseholes, so I shall be telling them to go forth...

 

Having difficulty supporting wife and Mother_Sterling.

 

My dream of moving out is fast fading away.

 

Generally everything around me is just going to shit.

 

So, yeah, can't say I'm the best of spirits right now...

[messerschmitt owner]

I thought it was Turra?

is he the Turra coo?

 

Aberdeen - Aberdeenshire - it's all the same!