The grumpy thread

[John F]

Yeah, they're ok on the stuff I've got.

 

Not much use for comedy handbrake turn stunts, but they hold 'em on a hill.

 

(There are quite a few cars of a certain make that shall remain nameless but build a lot of cars with V in model name that have tragic handbrakes that let the car roll about two feet before locking on like a pissed off Pitbull)

 

Haha! I wouldn't park my Calibra on the flat with just its handbrake on, it's always left in gear. I've got so used to doing that I do it with all of my other stuff now, whether it needs it or not.

[wuvvum]

The Audi appears to have major front suspension issues. It drives smooth as silk in a straight line, but as soon as the OSF wheel is loaded up even slightly (as in a gentle left-hand bend taken at 50mph) it starts juddering so badly at one stage I genuinely thought I was going to lose the wheel. It gets worse if I put any power on in the bend. It ain't loose wheelnuts 'cos I've checked those; an out-of-shape tyre or a knackered driveshaft would give at least some vibration in a straight line, and I couldn't feel any play in the driveshaft when I gave it a tug. So I don't know quite what the problem is, and I'm buggered if I'm jacking the car up and crawling around under there in the dark, but I'm booking it in for an MoT either Friday or Saturday so I guess I'll find out soon enough...

[chaseracer]

Blingo needed a new headlight; £135 for the unit, a fiver for the bulb, plus 85 sheets for labour. Dealer prices obv - have I just been stitched like the proverbial kipper?

[John F]

The Audi appears to have major front suspension issues. It drives smooth as silk in a straight line, but as soon as the OSF wheel is loaded up even slightly (as in a gentle left-hand bend taken at 50mph) it starts juddering so badly at one stage I genuinely thought I was going to lose the wheel. It gets worse if I put any power on in the bend. It ain't loose wheelnuts 'cos I've checked those; an out-of-shape tyre or a knackered driveshaft would give at least some vibration in a straight line, and I couldn't feel any play in the driveshaft when I gave it a tug. So I don't know quite what the problem is, and I'm buggered if I'm jacking the car up and crawling around under there in the dark, but I'm booking it in for an MoT either Friday or Saturday so I guess I'll find out soon enough...

 

Borked shock, perhaps? Have you done a bounce test?

[cort16]

Why does ebay think Glasgow's in the Highlands? I've tried to order brake discs and paint over the last couple of weeks and have been knocked back at the last minute as ebay thinks PA6 is in the outer friggin hebrides.

[maxpower]

having to buy 6mths rent for the mongdeo which i don't use and didn't have the space to sorn it...... fukstix

[Lankytim]

The Audi appears to have major front suspension issues. It drives smooth as silk in a straight line, but as soon as the OSF wheel is loaded up even slightly (as in a gentle left-hand bend taken at 50mph) it starts juddering so badly at one stage I genuinely thought I was going to lose the wheel. It gets worse if I put any power on in the bend. It ain't loose wheelnuts 'cos I've checked those; an out-of-shape tyre or a knackered driveshaft would give at least some vibration in a straight line, and I couldn't feel any play in the driveshaft when I gave it a tug. So I don't know quite what the problem is, and I'm buggered if I'm jacking the car up and crawling around under there in the dark, but I'm booking it in for an MoT either Friday or Saturday so I guess I'll find out soon enough...

 

Borked shock, perhaps? Have you done a bounce test?

 

 

I bet it's knackered bushes, especially on the TCA.

[wuvvum]

The Audi appears to have major front suspension issues. It drives smooth as silk in a straight line, but as soon as the OSF wheel is loaded up even slightly (as in a gentle left-hand bend taken at 50mph) it starts juddering so badly at one stage I genuinely thought I was going to lose the wheel. It gets worse if I put any power on in the bend. It ain't loose wheelnuts 'cos I've checked those; an out-of-shape tyre or a knackered driveshaft would give at least some vibration in a straight line, and I couldn't feel any play in the driveshaft when I gave it a tug. So I don't know quite what the problem is, and I'm buggered if I'm jacking the car up and crawling around under there in the dark, but I'm booking it in for an MoT either Friday or Saturday so I guess I'll find out soon enough...

 

Borked shock, perhaps? Have you done a bounce test?

 

 

I bet it's knackered bushes, especially on the TCA.

It does feel more like knackered bushes TBH - it's not bouncy on the front at all so I don't think the shock's at fault. I'm sure the nice MoT man will tell me for sure though. To be fair, it does look like quite a simple setup on the front so hopefully shouldn't be too much of an arse to get the bushes done if need be [/tempting fate].

[wackywacerwill]

Motorcycle batterys are piss poor in performance stakes. Need loads to be worth a trip to the bridge too.

[cort16]

I was just in comet looking at new telly's and wandered out the entrance rather than the exit when the bastarding doors slid shut right on me.

So much for safety sensors not allowing the doors to close these things nearly went through me like a hot MIG through an Alfa sud. The bastards nearly had me pinned, for a second or so all I could see in my mind was me being "jaws of lifed" out of there by the local fire brigade on a STV new bulletin.

 

Have they never heard of the term "where there's a blame there's a claim"? Bastards (although I should have went out the exit)

[wuvvum]

The Audi appears to have major front suspension issues. It drives smooth as silk in a straight line, but as soon as the OSF wheel is loaded up even slightly (as in a gentle left-hand bend taken at 50mph) it starts juddering so badly at one stage I genuinely thought I was going to lose the wheel. It gets worse if I put any power on in the bend. It ain't loose wheelnuts 'cos I've checked those; an out-of-shape tyre or a knackered driveshaft would give at least some vibration in a straight line, and I couldn't feel any play in the driveshaft when I gave it a tug. So I don't know quite what the problem is, and I'm buggered if I'm jacking the car up and crawling around under there in the dark, but I'm booking it in for an MoT either Friday or Saturday so I guess I'll find out soon enough...

 

Borked shock, perhaps? Have you done a bounce test?

 

 

I bet it's knackered bushes, especially on the TCA.

It's the track rod end. The bolt has come slightly loose at some point, and the resulting slight movement has ended up breaking the bolt off inside the TRE, so it's still more or less held in but it won't tighten up as the thread just turns with the nut. The result is that there's about an inch of free movement at the wheel - no wonder it was juddering... Hopefully it won't have had time to ream out the hole in the hub that it bolts onto and I'll be able to get away with just fitting a new TRE and tightening it up properly. Only thing the car failed on other than that was headlight aim, so not as bad as it could have been.

[retrogeezer]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-la ... e-17239110

[eddyramrod]

That's bananas.

 

There's no "justice" involved in that whatsoever.

[Timewaster]

That's bananas.

There's no "justice" involved in that whatsoever.

 

^^^This.

What a pathetic slap on the wrist.

A local lad did something equally as idiotic and killed 1 of his passengers. He got 5 years inside and I'm not sure that was justice.

[Quintus]

Noisy neighbours.

 

A 'nice young couple' (according to the letting agent) moved in upstairs from my girlfriend and I recently. We were woken up at 03:47hrs this morning by the terrifying sound of a massive argument/domestic violence. They've only been here three days and we've already had to call the police.

[Pillock]

Shag noisily and regularly. If you're not up to it then put a grumble flick on loudly.

They'll get a dose of their own medicine and eventually they'll move out, meanwhile you're having a whale of a time!

[tonedepear]

2 punctures in 2 weeks. Bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks.

 

IMG_20120303_185125 by Tony Lloyd, on Flickr

[ashmicro]

LOL! Why is it always bloody pop rivets? I never get nails, woodscrews, glass or owt. Just bloody pop rivets and carpet staples!

[Akron]

I collected a piece of steel in a rear tyre the day after the service and MOT, both had around 3mm of tread (I change them at 2mm) so added a pair of tyres onto the bill

[vulgalour]

People who don't clean their cars make me grumpy, especially when I'm left to deal with it.

 

Purest liquid orifice gold from the doorcards...

 

...and the dashboard.

[Negative Creep]

Works van is heading for the scrappy, terminal rust on the rear axle and suspension mount have done it in. However, it did manage a quite remarkable 560000 miles, mostly around town.

 

 

Also, I have a sore throat

[Timewaster]

Works van is heading for the scrappy, terminal rust on the rear axle and suspension mount have done it in. However, it did manage a quite remarkable 560000 miles, mostly around town.

 

Half a story!

What is it??

[maxpower]

Bloody B&Q.... decided to buy new garden shed as my present one is rotten, calls local store as they only have low stock of the shed i want.

 

"yes sir we have two of those left in stock"

 

"great so can i come and collect it"

 

with that agreed me and mrs max jump in the van and head off. after 10 mins of wandering around the store trying to find someone to serve us we stumble upon the guy of the shed section..

walking amongst the sheds he can't find the one i want... he goes out to the back to check,10 mins later returns "yes there are two of those sheds in the back, but only problem is that we don't have a forklift driver to lift the shed out"

i couldn't believe this guy...

"wait a minute, you're a D.I.Y store and you don't have a forklift driver?"

i tell him i can drive a forklift... which through their insurance aint never gonna be allowed.

he says saturday is the f/lift driver's day off... "but that must be one of your busiest days, so why isn't there a replacement driver?"

"oh that's just how the company works" NO IT FUCKIN ISN'T!!

so the company works along the lines of telling you they have your item in stock, let you waste fuggin diesel driving over there, only to tell you they don't have a forklift driver and you have to come back tomorrow to collect the shed????

 

shove it right up your arse!!............. strong email of complaint heading to B&Q's head office.

[Negative Creep]

Works van is heading for the scrappy, terminal rust on the rear axle and suspension mount have done it in. However, it did manage a quite remarkable 560000 miles, mostly around town.

 

Half a story!

What is it??

 

 

Mk3 Fiesta with the 1.8 NA diesel. I was thinking it felt somewhat "wayward" at the rear, which turned out to be the rear beam bushes. The area around them is corroded and pushing up into the floorpan. Had a look at the rear suspension mount and we were able to push our fingers through the metal only a few cm from the mounting point. Add to that the tax is out, and the bridge of doom beckons

[Guest]

MP, I can see where you're coming from, but your beef is with the store's policy, not the bloke you spoke to. He has to work around that, whether you consider it to be bullshit or otherwise. It's shit to be honest - I mean, it beggars belief that the company would give the forklift driver the day off on probably the busiest day for the store. I appreciate people are entitled to days off, and to be honest, I fucking hate working Saturdays, but if you work shifts in retail it's pretty much a given you're going to have to do at least one weekend day.

 

On to my actual grump:

 

People asking me for advice and then ignoring it.

 

Mate at Uni has a Citroen Saxo that's pretty shagged. The alternator's knackered and the OSF outer CV joint is clacking its tits off. The outer clip has come off and the boot has split. It was shot a month ago when he asked me to look at it, and I've tried very hard to get it through to him that if the joint gives out, the car is pretty much immobilised until a new joint is fitted.

 

Other than commuting into MCUK he uses the car a lot - he runs youth film workshops across North Manchester. He keeps coming with excuses as to why he can't afford a new CV joint - and yet he decided to buy another [wrong] alternator from a scrapyard without working out whether or not it was for the right car or not. At the very least I said 'look, come down to the unit and SCTSH_ANDY will repack the joint with grease so it'll hold out a bit longer'. The most this will cost is a fiver for the pot of grease. SCTSH says he'll do it for nothing because he's my mate. Should it need a new CV joint (and it fucking will, I can assure you), SCTSH will fit it for nowt because this lad helped me massively with Final Cut Pro and helped me get that bastard of a film done at Christmas when I was on my uppers. All he'd have to is shell out £20-25 maximum for a new joint (because SCTSH can get it at trade prices) and SCTSH would fit it for free because I retaxed the 460 he's using at the moment instead of going 80/20 on the RFL.

 

I don't see what's so difficult - in the interim get the joint repacked - for more or less fuck all, worse case scenario spend £25 on a new joint which is fitted for free. Tell you what's going to happen - because he can't be arsed, the joint'll fail, he'll be without a car and will get bent over by a mobile mechanic to replace the joint for double that with labour on top.

 

He needs his car, and I've gone out of my way to make it easy for him. Why's he being such an idiot?

 

I'm going to try and reason with him one last time, along the lines of 'If you don't do something now, you cannot drive your car because it will be fucked, and it will end up costing you several hundred quid that you don't have'.

 

After that the fucking thing can quit on him for all I care, God knows I tried.

[Pete-M]

Non-Car people don't care if you tell them their car is a flaming death trap. They don't see it. They know that the car is actually working now so that's all that matters to them.

 

It's like if someone came to my house and said "The front wobble bearing is noisy on your washing machine, you should get that changed, it's only £20". First thing I'd think is "I can't hear it and £20 to fix? It can't be that serious" and I'd wait for it to get worse before getting it fixed. I really don't give a toss that I'm putting the washing machine through the mechanical equivalent of a chinese burn every time I fire it up. It's a washing machine. If it goes bang I'll get it fixed or buy another one. Until it goes bang, it'll stay as it is.

 

Quite scary that people think about cars in the same way. The average Hotpoint Spin-O-Matic doesn't do 70 mph on the M6.

[cobblers]

 

I'm going to try and reason with him one last time, along the lines of 'If you don't do something now, you cannot drive your car because it will be fucked, and it will end up costing you several hundred quid that you don't have'.

 

 

Similar situation with my sister and her Ka - The thermostat housing is rotten, it pisses water out. She lives in Leeds, uses the car to get to work every day. She comes over to see the rest of the family here in Rotherham every couple of weeks, and each time I'll have to put about 2 litres of water in her car to get it back up to full. It's so bad that I had to replace the #1 spark plug because it rusted in half due to being constantly dampened by this leak. She drove it round on 3 cylinders for about 10 days before she came home and mentioned anything to me.

 

A thermostat housing is £17. I'll fit it her for free. I've told her, even begged her to just buy one. I'm too stubborn to buy one for her especially seeing as she earned 4x what I did last year.

 

This has been going on for months now, since the first time it got so low that the engine lost so much power that it wouldn't accelerate up a hill and I had to drive over and fill it up for her. (She won't spend £7 a month on the AA, either)

 

She can't even be arsed to check the water. She knows where it is, and how to do it but refuses to look at it. The worst thing is that she's not even skint - she's on about £35k a year and drives a £700 Ka I sourced for her 3 years ago. Other than put petrol in it, She's not spent a single penny on it.

[Guest]

Non-Car people don't care if you tell them their car is a flaming death trap. They don't see it. They know that the car is actually working now so that's all that matters to them.

 

This is what infuriates me. It's clearly worrying him, because he spent an hour with me in the Adelphi car park asking me what was wrong and could I help him get it fixed, etc etc. I think I've gone above and beyond to make it easy and as cheap as possible, so that's about as much as I can do.

 

He now tells me it's more or less out of fuel and he hasn't been using it for a week because of this.

 

I think he's stuffed until he actually has some money to spend. Don't get me wrong - I'm brassic at the moment. Although I have a new and very exciting job, it's not going to pay for at least a month and I have bills coming out. I realise he's in a shit place financially, I just want to help him because he went above and beyond for me at Christmas.

[wuvvum]

The Scimitar was due to go to its new owner today, and right on cue it duly proceeded to throw its toys out of the pram this weekend. Yesterday the autochoke stuck on and it flooded to buggery (so bad it wouldn't even fire on Easystart, even after I took the three accessible plugs out and cleaned them). I left it for a few hours and then whipped the air filter off and wedged the choke flaps open with a screwdriver, and it then fired back up after a bit of cranking.

 

No such shenanigans this morning when it was due to be picked up - it fired up straight away and I took it round the block as it hadn't moved for a while - brakes were a bit grindy but nothing out of the ordinary. Chap turns up, car fires up again no problem, I leave it running while I show him where the controls are (he's not the actual buyer, he was picking it up for his son-in-law who is abroad at the moment), and after a couple of minutes steam starts pouring out from under the bonnet. Open said bonnet and the cooling system is spraying water out of the overflow on the expansion bottle like a fire hose. A very helpful chap who lives in the same street where my garage is and who knows a bit about Reliants (he owns three Foxes and had a Scimitar until last year) stopped to help; we refilled the system and let it run for a while thinking it might be an airlock, but after a couple of minutes it started chucking water out again.

 

Diagnosis at the moment is a borked thermostat - the thermostat is definitely borked, but I don't know if the pressurising / coolant circulation issues will have caused further problems of a head-gasketty type. When it stops fucking raining I'm going to go down there with a tube of Hylomar, reassemble everything with no 'stat at all and see what happens. If it's anything more than the stat I'm going to have to give the chap his money back, which will be a pain as I've already spent some of it on getting the 75 back on the road...

[Guest]

A couple of things, aside from Uni colleague fuckwittery.

 

1. Old work still haven't sent me my P45.

 

Given that I walked out \ was sacked [delete where applicable] on NYE 2012 and it's now March, I felt they were taking the piss somewhat. I couldn't call them because I deleted their number out of my phone in a systematic purge of contacts I wouldn't be using any more. As it's less than 5 minutes away from the unit I popped in and mentioned it. Fortunately Derek* wasn't in, otherwise I probably would have made a few unsavoury comments and made him squirm a bit. It was still massively awkward. One of my ex colleagues could see me in the queue and wouldn't make eye contact (it seems to be the done thing in there), and bolted for the manager's office as soon as I mentioned what it was that I wanted.

 

The non-arsehole assistant manager then goes and tells me that Derek* filled it in shortly after I fucked off but didn't bother sending it. After all, stamps cost.........

 

2. Some little cunt has keyed the NSR door on the 460.

 

Why? The paint wasn't that bad on it. I reckon I know when it happened as well. It didn't have a special racing stripe when I borrowed it one evening to run up to the Wirral to see MM5. When I go up there I always park on the wide pavement directly facing his parents' house. As we were dicking around with the Herald (OK, MM5 was fettling and I was farting around taking pictures) outside it was never really out of my sight for very long, and there was still more than enough room to get past the car without having to walk on the pavement. The road's pretty narrow so anything that gets a car off the street itself is a definite bonus in the maneouvring stakes.

 

We did bugger off to Port Sunlight in the Herald for a bit so I could have a go. It can only have happened then and my guess is that someone either took exception to it being parked on the pavement (in which case they can fuck right off) or it was a bored scrote with a spare Yale to hand. It's not an accidental swipe - you can tell if that happens and it's normally lower at coat button \ popper level) - someone has clearly taken a sharp edge to it on one specific door just above the swage line and scraped through to the primer. There's a possibly it happened at Chester Services, but I was the only car in the car park at that given time and parked right outside the door.

 

I would ask the bloke next door to Autofusion to have a look at it, but he seems to have elevated sensibilities towards what he will and won't work on - for example, he stomped into Dave & Gray's workshop and told all and sundry he wasn't spraying 'that piece of shit'. Said 'piece of shit' turned out to be Pete M's 604.

 

When I have some spare change - change I wanted to put towards the brakes and suspension, and possibly a part leather interior that's popped up in Nottingham - I'll get one of the Revive lads to blend it in. Argh.