The grumpy thread

[Wack]

I'm selling a cricket bat on Ebay, it's essentially a lump of wood, a guy has sent me a list of questions

What grade of willow is it

When was it last oiled

Does it ping well

 

I buy and sell shite on Ebay , lumps of wood are just that to me

 

I'm expecting his next question to be about service history

[Tadhg Tiogar]

 

I'm selling a cricket bat on Ebay, it's essentially a lump of wood, a guy has sent me a list of questions

What grade of willow is it

When was it last oiled

Does it ping well

I buy and sell shite on Ebay , lumps of wood are just that to me

I'm expecting his next question to be about service history

  Just answer every question with "yes".

Alternatively, confirm that the thing's fit to give his balls a good walloping.

[beko1987]

I think you'll find they are obliged to provide you with crappy electric heaters if nothing else - ring them back and demand they deliver some tonight or you'll go to Environmental health in the morning. Should do the trick.

Won't that go the other way though and rape the leccy bill? Jumpers and a stiff upper lip are probably cheaper...

[plasticvandan]

Alternatively, confirm that the thing's fit to give his balls a good walloping.

Just tell him you've only used it to hit burglars with

[GrumpiusMaximus]

I'm selling a cricket bat on Ebay, it's essentially a lump of wood, a guy has sent me a list of questions

What grade of willow is it

When was it last oiled

Does it ping well

 

I buy and sell shite on Ebay , lumps of wood are just that to me

 

I'm expecting his next question to be about service history

 

 

To be fair, I'd probably be asking the same questions...

[Guest Hooli]

Thought the bungalow felt a bit cold. Went to check thermostat and the boiler gone tits up. Rang emergency number for housing authority and get told they only make things safe not repair so I have to sit here freezing my knackers off. Wonderful.

 

Go for a drive to get warm?

[Mrcento]

Just tell him you've only used it to hit burglars with

 

"It certainly made a tremendous thunk when hit a burglar over the head with it..... cleaned up really well too, i was worried the blood would stain the wood but it didn't so must be good quality

 

Hope this helps".

[Parky]

"It certainly made a tremendous thunk when hit a burglar over the head with it..... cleaned up really well too, i was worried the blood would stain the wood but it didn't so must be good quality

 

Hope this helps".

Thank you for your queries. I can confirm the willow is Pussy grade. It hasn’t been oiled for some time, but I have some Mazola and some Comma EP80 I would be happy to wipe over it if required.

 

I have to admit it doesn’t really ping, it is after all a cricket bat and not sonar apparatus. It will however propel a badger nearly twenty feet and upon further examination the handle, when lubricated could probably be used to shove up your arse.

 

It’s a second hand bat. Would you like to buy it or not? If not I shall write “W G Grace” somewhere on it and sell it for loads to someone else

[Mrcento]

I have to admit it doesn’t really ping,

 

Could confuse the shit out of him and say "But might just need a new battery".

[clayts450]

Won't that go the other way though and rape the leccy bill? Jumpers and a stiff upper lip are probably cheaper...

 

The official housing association mantra in response is 'yeah, but you're not paying for gas because yer boiler's fucked, m9'

[Kiltox]

I am amazed at that response from a supposedly “responsible” and “for the greater good” housing association.

 

Meanwhile I as a through and through “bastard private landlord” would strive to have a gas engineer there ASAFP

 

Fucked boiler in February? Get it fucking fixed yesterday and send me the bill.

[vulgalour]

I've been offered some opportunities for house-sharing, one with a friend I've known for twenty years at least.  His current place is very affordable, he's been there ages, and unfortunately it's too small for two people to live in.  He's also offered back-up storage for vehicles if things come to that (as has Mike for that matter, so my ferrous children are safe).  So we started looking a bit more seriously at our requirements, areas, and so forth and very quickly learned that it's impossible to find somewhere suitable.

 

I've noticed that what's available on the rental market is mostly either rundown and overpriced, or brand new and really overpriced.  There's the occasional tarted up property that's really overpriced to mix things up a bit, but generally, there's not a lot of choice.  The house I'm in now is great, as things go.  It has a bit of damp, the central heating isn't always great, the windows and one door are knackered and the flooring we haven't replaced is wearing out, but by the standards of most rental properties, it's pretty good. My friend is similarly housed, neither of us want to step DOWN in quality, but we at least want to stay at the same level.  Unfortunately, that seems to mean extending our budget beyond what we can afford and since the house-share would be temporary, he'd be shafted when I moved out.

 

On the positive side, we're both in about as secure a position as you get with renting and have no serious problems to contend with.  Not everyone is so fortunate.  The search continues, slowly, because I don't need to even start doing anything definite about this until the summer.

[MorrisItalSLX]

I had an poor experience with a Gumtree car seller today, but not in the usual fashion of mouth breathing and X-Boxes. Quite the opposite in fact.

 

I called and left a message about the car for sale (a slightly quirky 1980s model in reasonable condition) and the posh voiced seller called back and immediately started giving me the 3rd degree.

What is your full name? How is that spelt? Where did you see the car advertised? Where are you located? Are you a member of any local car clubs? Which one and for how long? Why did you say you saw it on Gumtree when it was in the club newsletter? Have you ever owned an XXX car before? What do you want with the car? You do realise it is a classic car? Would it be possible if I called you back in a couple weeks time to further discuss the car?

 

I'm sorry, but I thought it was the buyer that asks the questions, and when I did finally get a word in they were very vague with their answers.

 

Such a shame about the seller as the car looked like a stunner.

[Wack]

I am amazed at that response from a supposedly “responsible” and “for the greater good” housing association.

 

Meanwhile I as a through and through “bastard private landlord” would strive to have a gas engineer there ASAFP

 

Fucked boiler in February? Get it fucking fixed yesterday and send me the bill.

It's about having a conscience, my wife works for an estate agency, you wouldn't believe the arguments they have with landlords over something that only costs a few £ let alone refurbishing anything

 

I feel sorry for the people paying £200 a week in rent and thinking it's cheap, where did this all go wrong.

I bought my 1st house in 1984 , a 3 bed town house in the Midlands for £16,000 , it stayed that price for 4 years , then because the town was an hour from London with a direct train people started moving out from London

 

When I sold it in 1990 I got £55,000 for it, today it's £180,000

 

I cant remember the exact numbers but a guy was telling me he bought a similar house to his dad in the 80s, say his dad earned £20 a week in the 60s , he earned £200 a week in the 80s , his dad paid £2000 for his house, he paid £20,000 so house prices were the same

 

His house is £150,000 now but nobody is earning £1500 a week to pay for it

[Floatylight]

It's about having a conscience, my wife works for an estate agency, you wouldn't believe the arguments they have with landlords over something that only costs a few £ let alone refurbishing anything

 

I feel sorry for the people paying £200 a week in rent and thinking it's cheap, where did this all go wrong.

I bought my 1st house in 1984 , a 3 bed town house in the Midlands for £16,000 , it stayed that price for 4 years , then because the town was an hour from London with a direct train people started moving out from London

 

When I sold it in 1990 I got £55,000 for it, today it's £180,000

 

I cant remember the exact numbers but a guy was telling me he bought a similar house to his dad in the 80s, say his dad earned £20 a week in the 60s , he earned £200 a week in the 80s , his dad paid £2000 for his house, he paid £20,000 so house prices were the same

 

His house is £150,000 now but nobody is earning £1500 a week to pay for it

Was having a conversation with my 17 yr old yesterday who's at college, they were having a showcase of what careers roles they could take after they specialise down a role route and he said none of them pay much money, which was defined by a top salary of about £35k and a starting salary of £20k ish, he's not in any way money driven so I thought these comments odd, then I realized it was against the backdrop of his first thoughts of trying to buy a reasonable home, none of these jobs, paramedic, nurse, social worker will allow him to buy somewhere decent to live after he's studied for at least another 4 years and got a few more years work under his belt.. So he's stuck in our box room till he's ready to move in with someone / get married.. Sad state of affairs

 

Sent from my Moto G (5) using Tapatalk

[Wack]

To be fair, I'd probably be asking the same questions...

True but one cricket bat amongst 30 auctions of random shite does not an expert make

[New POD]

 

His house is £150,000 now but nobody is earning £1500 a week to pay for it

 

Not many... There's more earning half that, and so are their partners/spouses, and trying to get their parents to provide free child care. 

[Guest Hooli]

Was having a conversation with my 17 yr old yesterday who's at college, they were having a showcase of what careers roles they could take after they specialise down a role route and he said none of them pay much money, which was defined by a top salary of about £35k and a starting salary of £20k ish, he's not in any way money driven so I thought these comments odd, then I realized it was against the backdrop of his first thoughts of trying to buy a reasonable home, none of these jobs, paramedic, nurse, social worker will allow him to buy somewhere decent to live after he's studied for at least another 4 years and got a few more years work under his belt.. So he's stuck in our box room till he's ready to move in with someone / get married.. Sad state of affairs

 

Sent from my Moto G (5) using Tapatalk

 

Meh, depends on the area. I work with a 22 year old lad who's just bought his own house, drives a pretty new car etc & is on the same wage nurses are. I believe he's done it himself by saving rather than the 'bank of dad'.

[New POD]

Meh, depends on the area. I work with a 22 year old lad who's just bought his own house, drives a pretty new car etc & is on the same wage nurses are. I believe he's done it himself by saving rather than the 'bank of dad'.

I'm working with a lad of 22 who is shop floor agency. Lives at home. Does shifts and overtime and has nothing left at month end. Must earn 40k.

Drives a red Corsa 1.2 vxr lookylikey

I weep for society

[Guest Hooli]

He must be a professional bellend to waste that much cash!

[holdyerhandout]

He must be a professional bellend to waste that much cash!

 

I'm working with a lad of 22 who is shop floor agency. Lives at home. Does shifts and overtime and has nothing left at month end. Must earn 40k.

Drives a red Corsa 1.2 vxr lookylikey

I weep for society

 

If only he'd gone for an SRi lookalike all would have been well...

[bub2006]

Spoke to futures housing group about the property this morning and I've got to wait till Monday with no heating or hot water. Spoke to environmental health and was told that's perfectly reasonable. Fucking grand.

[Guest Hooli]

That sounds slight* pisstake to me. I thought it was about 24hrs without heating before they had to do something.

[bub2006]

So did I but environmental health are fuckin useless too.

[mrbenn]

Could you not press them with reference to your wife's recent health concerns? Doesn't sound like someone that has recently been discharged from hospital should be expected to spend 4-5 days without heating or hot water in winter.

[JeeExEll]

Send them this pic. Tell them you're fucking freezing and want someone there right away.

 

[clayts450]

Spoke to futures housing group about the property this morning and I've got to wait till Monday with no heating or hot water. Spoke to environmental health and was told that's perfectly reasonable. Fucking grand.

 

I call bullshit on that. They've clearly not heard of Decent Home Standards then....

 

For the HA I work for, we'd have someone there within 24 hrs to diagnose at the very least - if we can't fix within seven days then you're in compo territory. In the interim we'd at the very least provide fan heaters or oil-filled rads. If there's any vulnerable residents, gold star treatment, essentially.

 

Time for an email to their CEO - emphasise the vulnerability, threaten that you'll go the papers and your MP, batter their Twitter account. Believe me, this course of action will give them the kick up the arse they clearly need.

[Tetleysmooth]

Not really a grump, more of a drawing breath through your teeth moment.

I found a V70 2.5t this morning. £700. Now I was on that like the proverbial tramp on chips. Had a little conversation with the seller. He said he'd be open to offers. I asked him how much basically, and he told me he'd let it go for £500, but with minimal questions.

Now I really didn't like the sound of that, but it has an mot until December. I'm just wondering if it's on the edge of grenading.

What do you lot think, stay away or pursue?

[Captain Furious]

For £500 i'd take a punt.  Whats the MOT history looking like?  Worst case scenario you end up having to frag it in December and get £150-200 back.

[mrbenn]

He may well just be sick of timewasters. Careful check over of the car and MOT history, then crack on.