The grumpy thread

10,181 · January 9, 2018

Nobody got in my way with it when it was 1 colour. I'm surprised the old thing is going. Apparently it can shift with the 2.0 and manual box.

Yeah, it's actually a bit of a weapon! Now on 160k and still going strong.

9,692 · January 9, 2018

The original engine wasn't fantastic. From the condition it was in when Graham ripped it apart I'm surprised it kept going! I'd be interested if you sold it!

January 9, 2018

Quote of the day "Good entry level tank"

On tank shite there will be someone complaining about the headlamps on that tank being from a post project drive model and therefore it is worthless... followed by someone moaning about the council having sent them a letter asking whether they have a personal army permit as 8 tanks is too many for a new build in Berkshire.

I used to know a lass with a Daimler Ferret (it was her engagement present, don't ask). She had great fun with the local council about where to display the parking permit.

January 9, 2018

I'll tell you what I DID dream though, just last night. And really this should go in the Antidote to grump thread. Don't worry, this is not going somewhere pervy...

I am driving away from a motorway toll plaza - could be the M6 Toll, doesn't matter, and I become aware of an air cooled something being revved to within an inch of its life close by. I look to my left and see this old and properly slammed and pineappled beetle driven by an angry ratlukker, also having just left the toll booths, but now being mercilessly tailgated by another car. I can't remember what this other car was, but I just KNOW it was being driven by Hooli, and I realise there has been an altercation between them around the toll plaza and Hooli is now giving chase. Now apparently my dreams are starting to have plot devices, because the pineappling of this beetle includes lots of orange transit straps - they are holding all the usual shit on the roofrack and boot, but in true ratlook style, they're not tidy and lots of spare strap is dragging along the road behind the beetle. After just a couple of attempts, Hooli has managed to position his front wheels on these straps and is now slowing down, restraining the beetle in the process. The angry ratlukker is rapidly becoming a scared-shitless ratlukker, as their collective speed drops and claret is imminent. Alas, at this point I'm cheering, and I woke up, cheering!

As I say, one for the grin thread...

I'm worried I'm in your dreams!

12,096 · January 9, 2018

M25 motorists:

Do any of you cunts have a clue what the lanes are for, and how long you're supposed to stay in them (or not)?

Liars!

Have you looked at the signage? because I drive it regularly and don't have a frigin clue at several junctions where lanes merge, new lanes appear unsigned which may or may not go off to another junction, take one of the junctions before Cobham, left lane is signed to go off at the junction so everybody moves across - lane just carries on after the junction so everybody is now in the wrong place.

12,096 · January 9, 2018

I used to know a lass with a Daimler Ferret (it was her engagement present, don't ask). She had great fun with the local council about where to display the parking permit.

Now that's being prepared!

January 9, 2018

Now that's being prepared!

If she'd been prepared she'd wouldn't have told everyone her eldest was conceived in the back of a LR S3 Ambulance at Beltring...

31,510 · January 9, 2018

there are bits of front bumper missing or cable tied together. Nobody gets in my way when I'm driving that.

Sorry about that, but not as sorry as the cat.

Thought I'd left the wheelarch liner in the boot though, it'll be between the pools of rancid oily water and the essex engines autofive collected on new years day.

8,519 · January 9, 2018

this

https://www.msn.com/en-gb/foodanddrink/foodnews/restaurant-fined-£50000-for-serving-food-on-unhygienic-wooden-boards/ar-BBI6QCp?ocid=spartandhp

about bastard time, I hate this current fad for serving food in a miniature wheelie bin or pound shop hub cap. this is a real room 101 thing for me

Put the food on a plate and do not put paper under the food. Put your creative effort into the food prep and not the sodding wooden roof shingle or whatevers.

23,565 · January 9, 2018

this

https://www.msn.com/en-gb/foodanddrink/foodnews/restaurant-fined-£50000-for-serving-food-on-unhygienic-wooden-boards/ar-BBI6QCp?ocid=spartandhp

about bastard time, I hate this current fad for serving food in a miniature wheelie bin or pound shop hub cap. this is a real room 101 thing for me

Put the food on a plate and do not put paper under the food. Put your creative effort into the food prep and not the sodding wooden roof shingle or whatevers.

https://www.reddit.com/r/WeWantPlates/

12,821 · January 9, 2018

I hate this current fad for serving food in a miniature wheelie bin or pound shop hub cap.

Or six chips in a miniature galvanised bucket, the bastards.

44,513 · January 9, 2018

Have you looked at the signage? because I drive it regularly and don't have a frigin clue at several junctions where lanes merge, new lanes appear unsigned which may or may not go off to another junction, take one of the junctions before Cobham, left lane is signed to go off at the junction so everybody moves across - lane just carries on after the junction so everybody is now in the wrong place.

I can work it out pretty easily. Being unsure whether to be in lane one or lane two is still no excuse to just sit in lane four because it's easier. That always seem to be the problem on the M25. I just spring along the first and second lanes, and the highway code can do one.

8,519 · January 9, 2018

Or six chips in a miniature galvanised bucket, the bastards.

and the staff get all eggy when you stab the bucket with your fork

and as for those tiny frying baskets.

arghhhhhhhhhh

pub near me insists on serving fish and chips on a plate but with the napkin under the food and soaked into a soggy mass by the mushy peas. And this is before you even add vinegar or whatever. back it goes again!

8,519 · January 9, 2018

I can work it out pretty easily. Being unsure whether to be in lane one or lane two is still no excuse to just sit in lane four because it's easier. That always seem to be the problem on the M25. I just spring along the first and second lanes, and the highway code can do one.

it is the only way to drive on the M25, lane 1 is very nearly always empty, the whole thing is trundling along at 55mph so no laws being broken overtaking at 58 on the left.

even if the lane exits, many of them rejoin, great way of making progress when lanes 2-5 are solid

4,466 · January 9, 2018

Er, no. There's a thread for this: http://autoshite.com/topic/18307-stupid-dreams/page-4

Ah. So there is.

Damn

Sent from my BV6000 using Tapatalk

28,477 · January 9, 2018

it is the only way to drive on the M25, lane 1 is very nearly always empty, the whole thing is trundling along at 55mph so no laws being broken overtaking at 58 on the left.

even if the lane exits, many of them rejoin, great way of making progress when lanes 2-5 are solid

Sshhh, don't tell everybody!

2,519 · January 9, 2018

I want to find the person / people responsible for egr valves being put on diesels to reduce emissions and burn them all in a giant wicker man, see how they feel about a bit of smog then!

Why, you ask?.......

I took this of my wbod last night

How fucking much crap is going through my engine?

This is what I scraped out of the opening to the inlet manifold.

That's why! Rant over.

15,089 · January 9, 2018

^^

Jaysus, that's banjaxed alright.

3,384 · January 9, 2018

9 days into some ridiculous idea about quitting smoking on NYE. It had been going fairly well but i'm climbing the friggin walls today and my already fairly short fuse is being trimmed down and down...

13,577 · January 9, 2018

EGR valves chaff my chuff. Regular viewers will know I have two identical pickup trucks....the Mazda is a grey import from I believe Thailand so is a weird spec and amongst other things, lacks both EGR system and catalytic converter. The Ranger, a UK model, which is the same engine, same age etc has both of these. I know its hard to compare two older cars like this but the Mazda just seems to pull better. What is doubly annoying is that the Mazda easily passes EU pollution standards without them.

2,519 · January 9, 2018

^^
Jaysus, that's banjaxed alright.

Believe it or not, the car was running lovely before I took the egr off. Obviously it's running a bit better now without it. I just remove them as a matter of course with any diesel I own, this is off a 147k mile bmw, I've seen less shit in one off a 200k mile land rover.

26,816 · January 9, 2018

The egr on my old gooner was blocked solid. Once cleaned out it had holes both sides, not just one. Egr on the current gooner was filthy, but not as bad as it's been done before.

Try not to think about it, it's better that way

9,623 · January 9, 2018

Fucking staff, or rather now ex staff, employed a couple of lads last year to work at our place, both did a good job, no issues, they then decided to leave and setup themselves between Christmas and new year, with no notice, leaving me completely in the shit and having to look after the site on my own, I've had one day off since the 27th Dec, to make it worse a top bloke who used to work for me asked to come back, I nearly bit his hand off! got the rota sorted and this meant I could have this weekend off, he has now texted saying that he has been made an offer he can't refuse by his current employer, so I'm fucked again.

Anyone want a job? hotel maintenance, in Bowness on Windermere £9/hr, cheap accommodation available (£120/month inc 3 meals a day), start yesterday, only one condition, you have to be able to fix things, pm me, seriously

3,384 · January 9, 2018

Kin ell, that almost makes me wish I was unemployed! £120 a month accommodation including 3 meals a day and it’s in the Lake District. Somebody have this guys arm off...

35,073 · January 9, 2018

Sounds perfect for beko....

1,269 · January 9, 2018

this

https://www.msn.com/en-gb/foodanddrink/foodnews/restaurant-fined-£50000-for-serving-food-on-unhygienic-wooden-boards/ar-BBI6QCp?ocid=spartandhp

about bastard time, I hate this current fad for serving food in a miniature wheelie bin or pound shop hub cap. this is a real room 101 thing for me

Put the food on a plate and do not put paper under the food. Put your creative effort into the food prep and not the sodding wooden roof shingle or whatevers.

Here's my hotel food from last night. I soon asked for a proper plate.

Sent from my EVA-L09 using Tapatalk

40,641 · January 9, 2018

this

https://www.msn.com/en-gb/foodanddrink/foodnews/restaurant-fined-£50000-for-serving-food-on-unhygienic-wooden-boards/ar-BBI6QCp?ocid=spartandhp

about bastard time, I hate this current fad for serving food in a miniature wheelie bin or pound shop hub cap. this is a real room 101 thing for me

Put the food on a plate and do not put paper under the food. Put your creative effort into the food prep and not the sodding wooden roof shingle or whatevers.

I don't like it when I go somewhere and they serve drinks in fucking jam jars. What next? Chips in a hat? Beans on a sanitary towel? Put the fuckers on a plate and have done.

20,653 · January 9, 2018

A current fad is full english on a shovel.

Not an issue unless the shovel has been used for dogshit duties...

28,588 · January 9, 2018

A current fad is full english on a shovel.
Not an issue unless the shovel has been used for dogshit duties...

Sorry Bren, but RONG in every way, every time. Shovels are for shit and coal, and if I'm being asked to pay, I don't intend to eat either of those things. Food belongs on a plate. A proper clean white china one, made in Staffordshire by a firm whose stamp I would recognise; and slightly warmed (NOT nuclear!) so it doesn't immediately sap all the heat from the food.

11,605 · January 9, 2018

Fucking staff, or rather now ex staff, employed a couple of lads last year to work at our place, both did a good job, no issues, they then decided to leave and setup themselves between Christmas and new year, with no notice, leaving me completely in the shit and having to look after the site on my own, I've had one day off since the 27th Dec, to make it worse a top bloke who used to work for me asked to come back, I nearly bit his hand off! got the rota sorted and this meant I could have this weekend off, he has now texted saying that he has been made an offer he can't refuse by his current employer, so I'm fucked again.

Anyone want a job? hotel maintenance, in Bowness on Windermere £9/hr, cheap accommodation available (£120/month inc 3 meals a day), start yesterday, only one condition, you have to be able to fix things, pm me, seriously

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