twatty Dull thread for idiots: all cars broken all the time.

[philibusmo]

HI GUYS, WHATS UP?

REMEMBER TO LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE

After a year of very little vehicular tinkering, mostly due to lack of time and monies, I am just as broke but back fettling festering fucking heaps.

If you've been here long enough to remember 'bump for a real thread', why the best Peugeot 405s have 20p stuck in the handbrake or the significance behind D701 SWL then you may remember me from such hits as welding up a chronically rotten Lancia Y10

or pouring LHM all over the local area in an incontinent XM

AND MUCH MUCH MORE

Between then and now I have been mostly quiet on here but have still been working on multiple cars in New Zealand which mostly made the scrap in the UK look showroom fresh, there's some good stories in that lot that I'll try and type up for your unenjoyment frm time to time if I'm running out of actual new content again.

But onto the latest tat faffing:

In 2009 an 83 Ford Fiesta with no MOT and a fair bit of rot around the edges turned up on the driveway of my great aunty. It was a bit grotty around the edges and the old lady who owned it had given up driving so it was just sat there waiting to be taken away an cubed. Being 17 and desperate for wheels, I spotted it and persuaded my Dad that we could take it on and fix it up, which we did and got it through an MOT.

A year went by where the holes in the wings got filled with expanding builders foam and filler, the steels were replaced with RS 4 spokes from a SuperSport and the chunky bumpers were swapped out with earlier chrome ones. While it was slowly being improved I knew it needed more substantial work and over the year I got hold of a genuine pair of front wings and a pattern front panel, then in March 2011 I taugt myself how to weld, on the few holes in the boot floor before moving to tackling the very sad inner front wings and front panel. After a respray, I hurriedly chucked it all back together in 2 days and drove it to Glasgow for the annual Mk1 Fiesta meet at Loch Lomand.

Its looked really rather snazzy

That was 9 years ago now though. For a couple of years I tried to buy other cars to use through winter and keep it nice, but a combination of the Fiesta being amazingly good in snow and the general unreliability of my winter beaters meant that this got used in all weathers. Then I left for four years and it was left at the back of my parents drive. Time has not been kind, rust has been bubbling through on the seams on the front and rear panels, on the wings and the scuttle for some time. On coming back, I used it for a few months through last spring and from a distance it looked grand, but up close you could see it had been a bit neglected. I ended up getting a Ford Puma and the Fiesta sat languishing at the back of the drive again for a good 6 months or so while I tried to find the time to fix it, then lock down occurred!

I started on the back, no photos of what it looked like before I started but it really wasn't pretty. Holes on either side of the boot floor, a big old hole on the passenger side of the rear panel and a very scruffy edge to the drivers side where it meets the rear quarter. After scrubbing back all the rust, trating the surface rust and welding in new metal, it looked like this after a first smear of filler.

With a bit more work and some paint, it now looks like this. I've run out of paint and am struggling to get hold of any decent Ford 'Ocean Blue' at the moment but I'll get some more layers on as soon as I can.

The corners of the boot floor have also had a tickle with the MIG:

The seam behind the boot latch, under the boot seal had also rotted out, so that's also been ground out and new metal let in. I haven't got too prissy with the filler and how this edge looks, seeing as it will be hidden.

On the original restoration I did have the good idea to make the wings bolt on as they were originally held on with spot welds and I wanted to be able to get behind them to clean out and rust proof behind. Obviously these good intentions never came to anything and they've not moved until I pulled them off about 2 weeks ago. The passenger side needed a bit of complicated work close to the leading edge of the door. leading into the inner arch and floor pan. No before pictures but it looks alright all welded up and covered in seam sealer, red oxide and Hammerite. I've got some proper Dinitrol stone chip stuff on the way which I'll spray around under here to try and protect it a bit better than it was before.

The drivers side is probably a bit worse, a hole in an awkward spot at the bottom behind the wheel , a hole below the scuttle drain and a big old load of rust all around a box section that runs across the back of the inner wheel arch.

 

Today I managed to weld up the majority of this mess There is no longer a big hole in the floor and the bit below the scuttle drain is solid. Just the outer edge down next to the door and the outside rectangle on the box section to fix up. Probably an afternoons work if you exclude waiting for paint to dry. I need to make a decision on if I try and find the spot welds for the front panel and take it off to de-rust it properly. It looks a bit nasty on the front edge, but behind, my cheap seam sealer and hammerite has cracked, letting water into the joints between the panel and the inner wings and cross member. I don't really want to take it off as it's going to be a bastard to line all the panels up again but it might be for the best in the long run unless there is some fantastic (probably Bilt Hamber) product that can creep into the joints and fuck up the rust.

There's also this spot under the windscreen on the scuttle panel which I'm dreading, if only because the screen will need to come out which will almost certainly mean it will break and then it will start raining.

I'll make some decision on this tomorrow. I've got some time on my hands because tomorrow the Fiesta will have to wait because it's chod collection time!

To be continued.

[vulgalour]

Welcome back (sort of)!

[bunglebus]

I love MK1 Fiestas, I've had five including my first car. Is yours British, German or Spanish?

Having looked at examples of each, I conclude the German ones are very well made with neat seam sealer etc, the Spanish ones are OK depending on whether or not they could be bothered, and the English ones look like they were built at 4.30 on a Friday afternoon and it was job and finish.

[wuvvum]

I like Mk1 Fiestas.  My grandma had one from new until she stopped driving - a pale blue 1.1L.  My mum also had a 957cc L in the same colour for a short while in the early '90s until it was replaced with a diesel 205.

I've had three myself - a 1.3 Ghia and two XR2s.  Boy do I wish I still had those now.

[Spiny Norman]

I learned to drive on a Mk1 Fester.

 

[Jim Bell]

Don't call it a comeback. He's been here for years. - James Todd Smith. 

[Split_Pin]

That all brings back memories of helping to weld up 2 very ripe MK2s at my work in the late 1990s. They both just keep going though!

[Tickman]

Thank you for starting the thread.

Excellent work on the repairs so far.

Can you get another screen seal so you can cut the old one out?

[philibusmo]

We're off, lockdown has eased and it's time to collect a car. 

[philibusmo]

2 hours in and on to the M42, which has almost no interesting or novel features.

[bunglebus]

The M42 is less dull than the M6.

[philibusmo]

Quick stop for a pee, the £900 Cooper S is batting along perfectly, especially considering we seemed to have most of the front of the car apart a week ago to get the supercharger off.

[barrett]

Welcome back @philibusmo!

[bunglebus]

£900 for a supercharged Mini? Not tea bag!

[dollywobbler]

BUMP FOR A REEL FRED. Nice to have you around the place again.

[Skizzer]

^ WHS - Excellent to have you back.

I really like your Fiesta. I remember encountering it flying along the M5 once, probably around 2012-ish, looking well fit. 

[wuvvum]

2 hours ago, bunglebus said:

The M42 is less dull than the M6.

But the M6 does have Tebay.

[philibusmo]

Car bought, on the way back.

[Eyersey1234]

That's one Chodtastic Fez you have there, my mum learned to drive in a white Mk1, CAD 613T. Sadly untaxed since 1996 according to the DVLA

 

[anonymous user]

Good to see you back, I do like a Mk1 Fiesta, weirdly my old Sandpiper turned up for sale on Facebook a few months ago, it went downhill rapidly after I sold it,  but has now been done up (but given a gold lower half that it didn't have before) The seller was looking for £6000+

[danthecapriman]

Love the Fiesta! I narrowly missed out on a mk1 in a brown/bronze colour years ago, so I bagged a rotten B reg mk2 1.3 Ghia instead. It was a dilapidated heap really but I loved it! Wish I still had it too.

[UltraWomble]

Mk 1 & Mk2 Fiesta's are ace - extra brownie points if its German made rather than Spanish ( the German ones dont seem to rot quite as readily as the Spanish ones)

[phil_lihp]

Welcome back!  That Fiesta is a peach.

I came across this photo a while back, seems like a lifetime ago. 

[philibusmo]

Today's events weren't really that exciting on the end. We drove the Mini to Peterborough from Devon without incident, where a quite nice Renault Laguna resided. It was purchased and after wrestling with the DVLA website to tax it, I was off. Once I was used to the very sudden clutch, it was plain sailing all the way back. No break downs, accidents, tom foolery or hijinks whatsoever.

I was going to take some nice photos when I got back, but life got in the way and now it's dark, so I'm being very lazy and using the sellers photos.

I think it's overall a quite good looking lump in a very 90s sort of way. Well proportioned and practical with good visibility. The boot is flipping massive. Externally the paint on the bonnet and roof are looking a bit sun burnt and it has a few imperfections here and there but nowt major.

The interior is dull, bland, forgettable and insipid. It's too grey and there is something about the driving position that really doesn't suit me at all. It seems to require short legs and long arms. Some mucking around with the seat made it a bit better but still not great. 

The glovebox is tiny as it's mostly full of massive 90s airbag and the one feature that should make it interesting - the hidden stereo and ashtry - only somehow makes it more anonymous. I like the air vents and everything seems to work exactly as it should which is a Brucey bonus. I'm going to try and fix the two rips in the seat base and re-plump the door card.

As for engine, it's quite a nice unit, fairly revvy and responsive with a good deal of torque and nice and quiet around town, I think emphasized by the car wearing pukka Bridgestone tyres all round and being generally quite well sound proofed. My only complaint is it feels a little low geared and buzzy at a quicker motorway pace but that's one mega fucking nit pick on such a cheap car. I should be changing the cam belt soon - this F4P engine is basically the same as the F4R found in the Renaultsport Clio 172 and 182 and judging by the sqwarking on forums is awful to change the belt on. We'll soon see, I'll get a belt and the timing tools ordered up and see how I get on.

[philibusmo]

Now how does it stack up against its rivals in the 90s low to mid ranking reps saloon or estate car  (that I happen to have had at some point) showdown?

Audi A4 1.8 20v

This one was an Auto so it was slow, but having also had a manual 1.8t quattro and a 1.9TDI along with an auto V6 I can confirm that I like these. The suspension is a pain to work on but they feel solid, handle very predictably, easy to drive and the interiors are just nice places to be. A step above the Laguna when new and feels it.

Vauxhall/Holden Vectra 2.2

Miserable. Not nice to drive, and felt cheaply made and designed in all the ways that makes driving a car every day unpleasant. The auto box wasn't bad and it drove for 3 hours with a leaking coolant pipe fixed* with eggs and pepper but that does not excuse it.

Mitsubishi Legnum 1.8 GDI

Looked pretty good, awful in every other way. In my experience the GDI engine is an absolute dog and Mitsubishis in general have all of the dullness of other Japanese makes with none of the reliability. The auto box was the most hopeless I've ever encountered.

Nissan Primera 2.0 Hyper CVT

Once you get over the weird CVT box, a Primera is an entertaining steer. Seem to be well made and even though the interior is dull, it is comfy. Recommended, although I did not enjoy fitting a lower suspension arm.

Volvo S40 1.8

Comfy, quite quick and an overall pleasant car which I can remember very little about.

Ford Mondeo 2.0 Zetec

A good example could be very nice. This was not a good example. The fuel gauge read backwards and I ran out of fuel on the petrol station forecourt when I realised what was going on. Despite its state it felt like it had the bones of a good car. A nice one is probably a better car than a Laguna.

Toyota Caldina 1.8GT

I'm pretty sure a duller version was the Avensis estate in the UK. Dependable and not a bad steer but quite uninspiring to drive. If they come with the JDM mats then they are very plush with all sorts of fun patterns.

Alfa Romeo 156 2.0TS

My pick of the bunch, I know it's a bit newer, more expensive when new and has a well known selection of foibles but this is easily the car that gave me the most enjoyment and I bonded with most of the group. Get a good well serviced one with quiet suspension and you're a winner.  I prefered the 2.0 to the V6, it felt overall the nicer car to drive, plus the oil filter was much easier to change.

I'm sure I've had other potential Laguna rivals, but quite frankly I can't be arsed to think of what they are and find photos right now.

So to sum up, buy an Alfa Romeo 156, unless I come to sell my Laguna in which case it's a superb car in every way and you should definitely buy it.

 

[Christine]

We met at  a fiesta mk1 meet at Gaydon abot 2012 ??  . You had a  glass fibre grill or spoiler for sale . I was in a jasmine yellow one .

[philibusmo]

16 hours ago, phil_lihp said:

Welcome back!  That Fiesta is a peach.

I came across this photo a while back, seems like a lifetime ago. 

This is the best photo. That day where everything was broken, if I remember rightly:

Fiesta was unexpectedly using water which was a rotten hose clamp.

Lancia distributor wasn't timed up properly when the cam belt was changed (my fault)

Supra had a kippered alternator

Princess was generally broken all around and couldn't be trusted to make it to the end of the road without having to walk back.

Things in my life have not really changed.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I've got a new timing belt kit that I bought for my Mk2 Laguna 2.0 Turbo F4RT BOX then never fitted, is that any use to you? if so you can have it for the postage cost... 

[philibusmo]

General agreement to all of the above that Mk1 and MK2 Fiestas are fantastic cars. This is a German built one, a 'Finesse' run out special with the high compression 1.1 Valencia engine and a 4 speed economy gearbox. The gearbox is actually one of its best features, normal gearing with what feels like a slightly longer third and then 4th is stretched out to make for nice low revs when pottering up the motorway. What this actually means is that it likes to sit at around 85-90mph hassling all the modern diesel rep mobiles in the outside lane which is rather fun.

I also do not accept that the M6 is more dull, once north of Preston, I think it's about the best motorway in the land.

[phil_lihp]

I was really surprised at how quick the Fiesta was for such a small engine, I seem to recall I ended up going home in that after the Lancia wouldn't start and the Princess threw a tantrum after a moderately successful test drive - fuel vaporisation I think?  Good times.