Things that really do your head in when selling a car

[sierraman]

Flip side of same coin from a recent thread. What sort of things really get on your tits when trying to sell a car. Mines the simple text communication of ‘best price?’ Or ‘150’

[Split_Pin]

When you advertise it on Marketplace and 4 people tag their friends with no subsequent response.

People who don't read the advert.

People who try and haggle without seeing the car first.

People who, rather than not turn up at all, say they are  "just 10 mins away", when you ask where they are but still don't ever show.

People who send about a thousand questions simpering over non-important details which were nevertheless disclosed in the advert. 

 

[SRi05]

People who send you a random derisory offer and nothing else 

EG car on Gumtree, listed at 795

"300" 

Die 

[Zelandeth]

Hahahaha...had all of the below while trying to sell the Lada.  Which is why the for sale sign came out the window a while ago and I just left it on various forums.

[] Making appointments to view then never showing up.  Eight times for the same "buyer" was the record before I told them to sod off and stop wasting my time.

[] Turning up and then proceeding to complain about every defect on the car as though they didn't know it was there - when everything in question is clearly itemised in the ad.

[] Spending well over an hour going over the car with a microscope, taking two test drives...then offering me 10% of the asking price, and getting incredibly arsey (to the extent of hurling obscenities at me from their car for the next ten minutes before they drove off) when I refuse to accept.

[] Timekeeping...seriously, I don't care if you're going to be late...just take the 30 seconds out to drop me a message to tell me so.  Don't turn up three hours after the agreed time and expect me to magically be available to see you.

[] The inevitable "wdutktwfifyqudm8?" (that is a direct quote of a message from Gumtree) nonsense.  If you can't form a sentence, I'm not going to respond.

[] The folks who insist they know everything about a car when they plainly don't and start making up faults to get money off.  I know most Ladas pretty much inside out and backwards having been involved with the marque for the best part of 30 years...so if you start spouting nonsense I'm far more likely than not to see straight through it.

[] The persistent ones who keep sending you messages or emails for *months* after you've turned down their derisory offer.  No...I am not selling you a three grand car for £250...that ain't going to happen, no matter how many dozen times you send me the same offer.  I think around 30 from one guy before I blocked the number was the record.

Selling cars to the general public SUCKS.

[Matty]

How much do you want? 750. Oh that's too much for me I break them you see and I wouldn't make a profit, I'd only go to 200.

Right so you want 550 off a car with no rust, no faults and 12 months MOT so you can break it and make a profit. Come round straight away and I'll give you a lift home in it. I'll even put some petrol in.

Really?

No.

[warch]

This sort of thing;

My brother used to own a Nuffield tractor (like the one below)

He used to park it outside my Mum and Dads house, where it was often commented by visitors, one of whom having looked over it on several occasions asked if my brother was interested in selling it. My brother wasn't desperate to sell but said he might consider it, so said potential purchaser turned up with a mate the following Saturday and proceeded to then start criticising everything about it in the hope that my bro would consider a derisory offer. My brother to his credit politely told him to fuck off basically, whereupon the bloke said that was all it was worth. Weirdly my brother sold his tractor for three times the value of this offer a few months later. 

[Dick Cheeseburger]

Doing two handbrake turns in an MX5 which some city twat had won on my ebay auction and then proceeded to 'test drive ' with me in the passenger seat 'to check the handbrake is good enough for drifting '. 

If I'd had ANY other interest in the car (which I hadn't), I would have turfed 'Bruv' onto his arse on said mini roundabout and told him to GTFO. 

Utter prick. 

[Isaac Hunt]

Many years ago before the world of mobile fones.

The guy who was first to view, IHO it was a bit overpriced and he didn’t want to leave a deposit, wanted to think it over.  

Later that afternoon, 2nd buyer came round, liked it, offered slighty more than the first guy, left a deposit.

next day the first to view was back on the phone, he had thought about it a bit more and would offer £100 less than his offer of the day before.

Sorry mate, it has sold, taken a deposit from someone else.   Clucking Bell, the onslaught of obscenities that flowed when the penny dropped was unreal.

look mate, you used to be indecisive, now your not so sure, FRO...... placed the receiver down gently whist he was still ranting....... it sounds the same as slamming it down his end.  Then the fone rings again, we’ll let the answerphone take that then.

 

[sierraman]

Picking every minor fault on a £300 car.

Giving a running commentary as they make up various bullshit faults. 

[strangeangel]

"I really like the scooter M8 but I live in London so you'll have to knock £100 off for my petrol"

 

Will I fuck.

 

[sutty2006]

Using the excuse “we need to eat” from 5 Eastern European’s to get 25 quid off a 325 quid car. 

 

I dont care if you starve. Give me the money we agreed on and fuckoffa ma property. 

[lesapandre]

1 hour ago, warch said:

This sort of thing;

My brother used to own a Nuffield tractor (like the one below)

He used to park it outside my Mum and Dads house, where it was often commented by visitors, one of whom having looked over it on several occasions asked if my brother was interested in selling it. My brother wasn't desperate to sell but said he might consider it, so said potential purchaser turned up with a mate the following Saturday and proceeded to then start criticising everything about it in the hope that my bro would consider a derisory offer. My brother to his credit politely told him to fuck off basically, whereupon the bloke said that was all it was worth. Weirdly my brother sold his tractor for three times the value of this offer a few months later. 

The "do you want to sell it mate brigade" I 100% ignore (politely). They are all chancers looking for something cheap. I have an 83 Landcruiser - I get approached and notes often. For sale...no.  Your tractor example is typical stuff. Life is too short to 'entertain'  these people.

The other interesting thing is - the notes always say "do you want to sell it?". Not "I would like to buy it and would therefore like to offer a fair £X what do you think?"

Approaches never ever never mention an offer or an amount...

Its really the same as "£250 2nite M8?" just dressed up differently.

[Stinkwheel]

Reading this thread reminds me why I actually very rarely sell cars and when I do, I try and sell them through known outlets
Like AS or through an owners club or even just to a mate. It’s also why I generally ask less than they are worth for easy and fast hassle free sales. I understand I shouldn’t have to, but seriously, the general public are twunts when buying cars.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Split_Pin]

Being no more than complimentary about something you would like to buy is enough.

The owner will always remember you come the time.

[Zelandeth]

I've lost count of how many notes have been left under the windscreen wiper of the van now. Pretty sure 99% of them are from the same person.

I keep meaning to make up a notice to stick on the dash which simply states "NO I do NOT want to sell this vehicle!" To put an end to it.

[lesapandre]

2 hours ago, Zelandeth said:

Hahahaha...had all of the below while trying to sell the Lada.  Which is why the for sale sign came out the window a while ago and I just left it on various forums.

[] Making appointments to view then never showing up.  Eight times for the same "buyer" was the record before I told them to sod off and stop wasting my time.

[] Turning up and then proceeding to complain about every defect on the car as though they didn't know it was there - when everything in question is clearly itemised in the ad.

[] Spending well over an hour going over the car with a microscope, taking two test drives...then offering me 10% of the asking price, and getting incredibly arsey (to the extent of hurling obscenities at me from their car for the next ten minutes before they drove off) when I refuse to accept.

[] Timekeeping...seriously, I don't care if you're going to be late...just take the 30 seconds out to drop me a message to tell me so.  Don't turn up three hours after the agreed time and expect me to magically be available to see you.

[] The inevitable "wdutktwfifyqudm8?" (that is a direct quote of a message from Gumtree) nonsense.  If you can't form a sentence, I'm not going to respond.

[] The folks who insist they know everything about a car when they plainly don't and start making up faults to get money off.  I know most Ladas pretty much inside out and backwards having been involved with the marque for the best part of 30 years...so if you start spouting nonsense I'm far more likely than not to see straight through it.

[] The persistent ones who keep sending you messages or emails for *months* after you've turned down their derisory offer.  No...I am not selling you a three grand car for £250...that ain't going to happen, no matter how many dozen times you send me the same offer.  I think around 30 from one guy before I blocked the number was the record.

Selling cars to the general public SUCKS.

Ah yes...the super-nit-pickers who come over and expect a quite ok £350 banger to be like brand new and act like an experienced judge at the The Pebble Beach Concours d'Elegance looking over Ralph Lauren's £5M Duesenberg.

And are totally affronted at YOU wasting their time when you don't entertain their nonsense....

[rusty_vw_man]

Bloke who tried to use the 150,000 miles on a 45 year old beetle to haggle down the price.  To make it worse it was like triggers broom and 95% new parts anyway. 

I’ve found the cheaper the car the worse it is - £100 Skoda fabia Estate was less than pristine I admit but the bloke who offered a tenner because there was a minor oil seepage nearly got chinned. 

[sierraman]

The begging letters. I once had one from this guy wanting to buy a Fiesta, think it was something like £400, anyway cue the life story about how his wife had left him, his benefits hadn’t gone in and in all probability it looked like he was going to have his leg amputated and all this shit. Anyway, cut to the chase, he wanted it for £100 delivered. FUCK OFF. 

Another favourite are those that want you to bring to their house for them to look at. At your cost. 

[rusty_vw_man]

My wife has just reminded me of the scrap man who left  a note on a shagged mk3 golf estate that I’d got for free, which after its 100th FTP was just rotting on the drive. 
Agreed he could have it (for free), but when he came to collect it he had a full on toddler style tantrum about the flat tyre it had....

[sierraman]

Some buyers expect a 30 Days no quibble returns policy, full tank of unleaded, 3 years free servicing, a complimentary teddy bear, a 20,000 mile warranty, pissflaps, mats, RAC cover and a bouquet of flowers on the back seat. On a £500 car.

[Bren]

Was asked by message on gumtree if there was any petrol in a £400 car I was selling.

[sporty-shite]

Bit of a facepalm moment this morning. Guy arranges to view the Saab. Hes coming from Middlesbrough (about a 2hr drive) and says he'll definitely have it, if it's as described.  

Gets here on time. Great.

Looks round car, and seems keen. Great. 

Starts it up, asks for short test drive. Great. 

Half way round test drive, asks "is it diesel?"

Yes, it is. 

Oh. I wanted a petrol one. Drives back to Sporty Towers, makes his apologies, acknowledges he hasn't read the advert properly, and leaves. 

Fucked my post-nightshift lie in right up. 

[sierraman]

That’s painful. 

[GrumpiusMaximus]

The same scrap dealer calling you five times about a perfectly good car that I just happen to be selling fairly cheaply because it needs a clutch and cambelt.  No mate, fuck off.  

Sold the car for less than the asking price to a young lad whose first car it would be and whose Dad was a legitimate mechanic and could do the work it needed.  Three years or so later and it’s still on the road.  That was a cracking Fiesta.

[High Jetter]

35 minutes ago, sporty-shite said:

Fucked my post-nightshift lie in right up. 

What a prat - if I'm making a 4 hour round trip to do anything I'm checking and double-checking the details first.

[HMC]

People instantly want a discount regardless of how cheap it is. (I have no patience and hence always price low as you may have noticed) Outside here I just price it higher to allow them their urge whilst still getting the price Id be ok with and a bit extra for risk money for having to deal with the general public. It’s a merry dance.

[HMC]

If it’s ultra ultra cheap (£150-300 say) people getting very carried away about little details. This triggers my instincts and I then try to put them off buying it. You have to assess and manage expectations and how realistic they are. Often it’s better to frag as it’s so much hassle for (relatively) so little gain in those circs; or to wait for the buyer with the realistic practical bargain bucket mentality.

First 30 secs of a chat usually is enough; I’ve been very fortunate In my last 2 bargain bucket gumtree sales.

If that’s sounds like they are subject to a quick kerbside psychological assessment from HMC then you’d be right.

[RED2stroke]

What's your best price M8? errrr the one I'm asking?

[bunglebus]

I had a guy look at a very cheap Astra I was selling, bogger spec 1.4 L. Had a look round, liked it (hadn't even started it), seemed about to get his money out - then asked if it had PAS. No. Walked off as he wanted one with PAS. The steering was pretty light, he hadn't even driven it. There are some odd folk out there.

[Matty]

3 hours ago, sierraman said:

Picking every minor fault on a £300 car.

Giving a running commentary as they make up various bullshit faults. 

Yes Sierra man this in one.

"Has it ever had a clutch?"

"Dunno I've never put one in it"

"Well it might need one"

"Well it obviously doesn't need one now"

"But it might in the future"

(Loosing my temper now cos it's a £400 Citroen I'm selling)

"It might fucking explode in the future but it's fine now"

(He didn't buy it)