Autoshite's official for sale/wanted thread

[Datsuncog]

**TAKEN**

 

And this, I think, is the jewel in the crown of this particular collection of shite literature.

 

Renault Safrane launch brochure, dated November 1992.

 

56 pages. 28x28 cm. Glossy.

 

 

This is Renault's coffee table book for the jet-set crowd; a brochure that eschews showing you very much of the car and instead goes for black-and-white shots of tall scowling women in dark glasses and severe dresses on white balconies; and two-page close-ups of ruffled Hermes scarves on black leather upholstery.

 

 

 

There's baffling digressions into French architecture, gastronomy and mushroom foraging; and quotes from such luminaries as Karl Lagerfeld, Alain Boucheron (he's "France's most respected jeweller and parfumier", of course - you plebs) and Joel Robuchon ("of the celebrated Restaurant Jamin in Paris") (no, me neither).

 

Hyperbolic nested quotes jostle in from the side like efficient PAs, ready to confirm that you're making a Good Choice. Hey, you're a big wheel, a decision maker, a trend setter - but also a lone wolf, a maverick, a barracuda in the sea of mackerel. After all, your astounding business acumen has led you to pick up a brochure for that most sound of investments: a French Luxury Car.

 

 

The overall tone is pretty much leaving the reader in no doubt that les francais certainly know a good thing when they see it, and the Safrane est tres bonne, merci. 

 

'Look!' They seem to be saying. 'You want our style; you want our food; you want our perfumes and luxury goods; you want our fucking countryside so much you can't help buying up every fucking farmhouse from Sarlat to Toulouse; you want our icy froideur, and you definitely want our women. So why, you bunch of English salauds, will you not buy our fucking luxury cars? Eh, eh? What's wrong with you? We give you all this Gallic flair and ingenuity and you still go and buy a fucking Teutonic barge with concrete seats, where even a radio is an optional extra. I mean, really? Really??'

 

Really. I wouldn't have had one new, but hot damn, could I rock a Safrane these days. I'm told a well sorted example really is something special.

[Datsuncog]

**TAKEN**

 

Okay, so moving onto Rover now.

 

We have a brochure for the 400 Tourer, dated 1995.

 

26-page, about 2cm wider than A4, and 2cm shorter too.

 

 

Also with dealer scribbles on the front, quoting my dad for one of these bad boys at between £15,885 (1.6 SLi) and £17,485 (2.0 GSi)

 

Page 2 states "Wherever you go, the breed of car you are driving will, by its exclusive nature, seldom be seen."

 

Yeah, that and the price.

[Datsuncog]

The New Rover 400 Series - also dated 1995.

 

30-page, oversize and measuring a floppy 27x32cm.

 

 

 

With the emphasis firmly on Great British values such as past glories (heritage and tradition are mentioned over and over again) and tightfistedness ("long-life, 36,000 mile spark plugs will further reduce your running costs"), it's impressive that the styling barely gets a mention, for fear of hinting at the H-word. 

 

"Looks a bit like a Civic, you say... mmm, well if you say so..."

 

This brochure could give you the biggest belly laugh you've had all year, as an entire page goes into great detail about the "brilliance" of the Rover K-Series engine and especially the "clever" and "ingenious" methods devised by Rover's powertrain engineers to provide routes for fluid circulation which lets the engine "warm up even faster" (for more details on Rover's ingenious system to make their engines become exceedingly warm exceedingly quickly, speak to Mssrs Phil_lip, DaveDorson and purplebargeken of this parish).

[oldcars]

Yes Rovers,  any 75 brochures please?

[Pillock]

Can I bag the 1994 Ford Full range Cars, and the Scorpio brochure please?

 

They don't say taken but I've had a quick scroll through as I'm meant to be on a conference call for work.

[adw1977]

And this, I think, is the jewel in the crown of this particular collection of shite literature.

 

Renault Safrane launch brochure, dated November 1992.

 

56 pages. 28x28 cm. Glossy.

 

Renault - Safrane Launch, Nov 92.JPG

 

This is Renault's coffee table book for the jet-set crowd; a brochure that eschews showing you very much of the car and instead goes for black-and-white shots of tall scowling women in dark glasses and severe dresses on white balconies; and two-page close-ups of ruffled Hermes scarves on black leather upholstery.

 

Renault - Safrane Launch, detail 2.JPG

 

Renault - Safrane Launch, detail 1.JPG

 

There's baffling digressions into French architecture, gastronomy and mushroom foraging; and quotes from such luminaries as Karl Lagerfeld, Alain Boucheron (he's "France's most respected jeweller and parfumier", of course - you plebs) and Joel Robuchon ("of the celebrated Restaurant Jamin in Paris") (no, me neither).

 

Hyperbolic nested quotes jostle in from the side like efficient PAs, ready to confirm that you're making a Good Choice. Hey, you're a big wheel, a decision maker, a trend setter - but also a lone wolf, a maverick, a barracuda in the sea of mackerel. Your astounding business acumen had led you to pick up a brochure for that most sound of investments: a French Luxury Car.

 

Renault - Safrane Launch, detail 4.JPG

 

The overall tone is pretty much leaving the reader in no doubt that les francais certainly know a good thing when they see it, and the Safrane est tres bonne, merci.

 

'Look!' They seem to be saying. 'You want our style; you want our food; you want our perfumes and luxury goods; you want our fucking countryside so much you can't help buying up every fucking farmhouse from Sarlat to Toulouse; you want our icy froideur, and you definitely want our women. So why, you bunch of English salauds, will you not buy our fucking luxury cars? Eh, eh? What's wrong with you? We give you all this Gallic flair and ingenuity and you still go and buy a fucking Teutonic barge with concrete seats, where even a radio is an optional extra. I mean, really? Really??'

 

Really. I wouldn't have had one new, but hot damn, could I rock a Safrane these days. I'm told a well sorted example really is something special.

Yes please

[Datsuncog]

Can I bag the 1994 Ford Full range Cars, and the Scorpio brochure please?

 

They don't say taken but I've had a quick scroll through as I'm meant to be on a conference call for work.

 

Yup, they're yours!

[Datsuncog]

Yes Rovers,  any 75 brochures please?

 

Ahhh, sadly nothing that late - my latest Rover stuff was from 1995. The Ulster Motor Show stopped happening before the 75's launch (or Rover dealers stopped turning up, one or the other) so I don't have anything related to that model. Sorry!

[Datsuncog]

Right, I'm going to just lump the next lot all in together, as they're mostly quite thin one-page foldovers - and I'm guessing that if you're a Skoda Felicia licker, they'll all appeal equally well. Happy to split though, if you must.

 

Skoda Felicia catalogue, October 1995.

 

16-page, A4.

 

 

Lots of prominent 'Volkswagen Group' branding, and not so much a brochure as an illustrated pamphlet pleading to be considered, because they don't make them funny little orange Commie-cars with the engine in the boot anymore. "We've changed the car. Can you change your mind?" is the prominent tagline on nearly every page.

 

But clearly that wasn't considered to be enough, as there's also this: an 8-page A4 potted history of Skoda that puts heavy emphasis on its Laurin-Klement luxury origins, their swoopy post-war roadsters, and Volkswagen quality. There's a passing mention of the 1000MB and Estelle in the text, but no pictures of any car built between 1959 and 1995.

 

 

A four-page oversize foldover reprinting a Carweek First Drive article from November 1994.

 

 

And a six-page A4 foldover on the special edition Skoda Bohemia (which interestingly is referred to throughout as if it's an entirely separate model altogether, rather than a Felicia with alloys and a little sticker) - tagline: "A very special Skoda at a very, very special price" [emphasis in original text].

 

 

2-page A4 sheet detailing a competition to win a trip to the Kennedy Space Centre in Florida, entered by taking a test drive in a Skoda estate (see what they did there with the double meaning ? Explore the space? Space?). As a potential oversight, there's no closing date on the entry so any day you feel like having a ding-dong argument, just pop down to your local dealership with this in your hand and "I know my consumer rights, innit" on your lips.  There's a nifty graphic on the reverse showing a Felicia estate with what looks like a Saturn V rocket and some orcas bursting out from the rear load area too, which I really must scan before passing it on.

 

 

Price list for Skoda Felicia in Northern Ireland, dated March 1996.

 

6-page foldover, A4.

 

 

An accessories pricelist; A4 six-fold.

 

 

I would love to know if anyone ever forked out £142.13 for a factory spring lowering kit for their Favorit.

 

Finally - and this is up there with the Safrane brochure - we have a four-page A4 foldover detailing Skoda's 'Centenary Collection'

 

 

This appears to be a collection of Skoda branded merchandise, including such Partridge-esque delights as pewter tankards, whisky decanters and padded jackets.

 

 

 

 

 

Who wouldn't want to be the envy of the golf club, as the proud owner of a Skoda decanter for a mere £141? In practice, I imagine these were doled out as 'incentives' by area managers to motivate their dealerships into pushing just a little bit harder, and probably left lying round the staffroom. 

 

Obviously, anyone finding any of this stuff at a car boot sale today is automatically elevated into the AS pantheon as King of the Shiters.

 

 

[Zelandeth]

Xantia catalogue; 28 pages A4, dated August 1995

 

Like new; with dealer card and notepaper inside telling my dad how much the monthly payments would be.

 

He turned it down because the Xantia estate didn't come fitted with roofrails.

 

(That's all the Citroen)

 

Citroen - Xantia, Aug 95, K5926.JPG

 

Yes please!

 

Need to start amassing a suitable amount of stuff to cart along to shows...

[Datsuncog]

Yes please!

 

Need to start amassing a suitable amount of stuff to cart along to shows...

 

That's set aside for you... anything not showing '**TAKEN**' is still available - and I've a few more marques to post up, still: Vauxhall, Volkswagen and Volvo.

 

Plus a fair few '90s AutoTrader, AutoExpress, Carweek, Classic Car Weekly and Classic Car Mart...

[Ghosty]

Aerodeck, 400 Tourer, and (probably) the Volvo 850 brochure please!

[Datsuncog]

I had a huge amount of Vauxhall brochures which were passed on earlier in the year; here's what slipped through the net.

 

Vauxhall Corsa B, dated February 1994

 

60-page, A4, crease to cover unfortunately.

 

 

I remember seeing my first Corsa B, a red base-spec model, not long after their launch in 1993 and realising for the first time that although these cars seemed fantastically new and modern, with their rounded cutesy curves, at some point in the future they would be all crusty and faded. I think it was the first time I made the link between modern cars and the obvious shite I so enjoyed catching sight of (Cortinas, Itals, Toledos) - at some point, even moderns would become shite.

 

Makes ya think, when you're only 13.

[Datsuncog]

Vauxhall Cavalier, dated August 1993.

 

66-Page, A4, Cat.ref. V358

 

 

I really, really wish I could get excited about Mk3 Cavs, but I've tried and failed. I don't know why.

 

 

[Zelandeth]

That generation of Cavalier is probably one of the most unsung of everyday heroes - utterly unmemorable in most ways, yet utterly competent in everything it does.  Doesn't necessarily excel in that many areas, but equally does everything well enough.

 

The sort of car that you really don't realise how good it actually was until a while after you sold it.

 

My Mk IV Fiesta fitted that description for me.  Was a full year after I sold it that I realised what a decent little motor it had been, despite the front and rear valance consisting of mainly duct tape, only having three working shock absorbers and the exhaust held on with cable ties.

 

It was like that when I got it, and the only things it asked for was a set of HT leads and a set of wiper blades.

[Datsuncog]

Right, final stretch (for now)

 

VW Passat Estate brochure, dated January 1996.

 

36-page, A4, cat.ref. 520/1190.47.25

 

 

Comes with Northern Ireland VW pricelist for September 1996.

[mercrocker]

Must....not......push......my self-imposed brochure threshold past 1989..... 

 

 

 

Gah...that was close.

[Datsuncog]

VW Passat L - dated January 1990

4-page A4 foldover, for entry-level B3 Passat L model.



Like a few others, this has a 1cm notch clipped from the back cover where I 'harvested' the VW logo for a school homework - but is otherwise in good nick.

[Datsuncog]

**TAKEN** One for Ghosty? 

 

Volvo 850 catalogue, dated November 1995

 

42-page, slightly under A4

 

 

Comes with 8-page spec booklet.

[Datsuncog]

Another Volvo - this one for the S40/V40 range, dated November 1996.

 

32-page, just under A4

 

 

Describes your Volvo dealer's cutting-edge CD-ROM technology, which allows you to see on a computer screen what your new V40 will look like in the desired colour and alloy wheel option! Lawks!

[Datsuncog]

And the very last one for tonight...

 

Volvo Price List, dated November 1996 - for 440/460, S40/V40, 850, and 940/960.

 

20-page, 30cmx10cm approx.

 

[Datsuncog]

Okay so - that's four piles set aside for various members, as requested - so once you're sure that you're happy with your selections, bung me a PM and I'll get back to you with a postage cost based on weight, and I'll have those winging their way to you before you know it.

And if you want to wait on those old magazines being listed - well that's no problem, I'll be posting them up tomorrow, so hang around and see what there is.

Many thanks!

[DodgeRover]

Still looking for 4 of the 16" wheels from a twin wheeler iveco daily

[UltraWomble]

Does anyone know of a RM bicycle for sale?

[Zelandeth]

I'll wait just in case something on the front of the mags catches my eye...

[The Moog]

"Rather than killing the pinned For Sale thread, I thought I'd start a new topic for these. I've more car related rubbish to move on too, on a cost-of-postage Shitecycle basis (some of which is in the main For Sale post, though has slipped back a bit with no takers), so I may re-post here accordingly."

 

Sort of the point of the for sale thread feel free to add as muchas you want

[Eddie Honda]

Does anyone know of a RM bicycle for sale?

A step-through Pashley Mailstar / Pronto or an older diamond frame one?

 

(Don't have any, just curious)

[andy18s]

£6.50 posted

 

br 001.jpg

 

 

Still for sale?

[Christine]

Still for sale?

yes ! 

[egg]

Mondeo Aspen booklet, dated March 1994.

 

6-page fold out A4, Ford ref. FA 1174.

 

My dad was very taken with the Mondeo on launch; after two long-term Sierra estates between 1990 and 1998 I'd fully expected that we'd end up with one eventually, but he went leftfield and came home with a Renault Laguna hatch instead.

 

Even if I did join in with the Jalopy magazine 'Mundano' sneering at the time, the Mk1s have worn well as a design... this is still an itch for me that one day may need scratching...

 

Ford - Mondeo Aspen, Mar 94.JPG

Yes please to this one.