What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Timewaster]

Reminds me of the story told by my local recovery man.

One icy winter morning he was called to pull a car out of a drainage ditch. Not uncommon in these parts.

When he arrived he was surprised to see a rival local firm there already.

He knew the guy who said "are you here to get a Honda?"

"Yes that's right"

"Well could you hurry up so I can get the Renault that's underneath it!"

Amazing no one was hurt after both cars had slid into the same ditch one on top of the other.

[dave21478]

I found a blackberry (phone, not fruit) in the street a while back and took it to the local cop shop. They refused to take it and directed me to the lost property section of the cop mega-shop in a city 45 minutes drive away. well fuck that. So I took it to the Orange shop (phone, not fruit again) as it was an Orange branded phone. They couldnt have been less interested and told me to throw it in the bin. I insisted and the dude looked up the sim number, told me the owner had been issued a replacement and that if I insisted in handing it in he would just bin it, so I took it home. I found a charger that would fit so fired it up, entered the wrong PIN code 10 times after increasingly dire warnings and it finally did a factory re-set an formatted its memory card. 

Free phone!

And then I found my fat fingers had trouble with its teeny wee buttons so it got relegated to the drawer full of broken or unwanted Gadgets, batteries and junk in the kitchen.

[Pillock]

Blackberries are odd in that even with a factory reset, if it's linked to a corporate account it'll immediately start getting emails.

 

My mate bought one years ago from eBay, fired it up and loads of emails came down, most of them relating to a blackberry that had been stolen... Insurance claims, emailing the IT department etc. Quickly handed over to cops and the seller grassed up.

[RoadworkUK]

Suddenly remembered how much I enjoy drawing. Apart from doodling with a biro when I'm on the phone at work, I never give myself any time for it these days.

 

 

While watching telly tonight. Just pencil, biro and marker, and I'm a bit cross that all my nice Chartpak markers have dried out since I left uni. Never mind.

 

I've just rekindled an old passion and it makes me feel all warm inside.

[Luckythirteen]

Cool. I quit drawing when I failed higher art. In fact I gave away a load of stuff like Posca and Letraset markers, and half squished paint tubes. The recipient was delighted...

[RoadworkUK]

Cool. I quit drawing when I failed higher art. In fact I gave away a load of stuff like Posca and Letraset markers, and half squished paint tubes. The recipient was delighted...

 

I'll bet! It's so much fun. You start with a blank sheet and have absolutely no idea what you're going to end up with.

 

I started this next one with a view towards some kind of retro-futurist off-road nonsense, and ended up with something between a moon buggy and a playful puppy. A lunar rover, if you will.

 

Sorry about this. Didn't mean to make the place look like The Gallery.

[andy18s]

Well,looky what we have here...

 

****CHEAP BATTERED PART EX WITH 11 MONTHS MOT AND LOW MILEAGE TOO****
DAEWOO KALOS 1.4 - 52 REG - MOT JANUARY 2016 AND ONLY 69k!!!! - CENTRAL LOCKING - ELECTRIC WINDOWS - POWER STEERING - AIR CONDITIONING - DAMAGE ON DRIVERS SIDE AS YOU CAN SEE ON PIC - INTERIOR VERY TIDY - DRIVES WELL - FIRST £300 (AND NOT A PENNY LESS) TAKES IT - CHEAPER THAN CATCHING THE BUS!!!!!! - CAR IS IN DENBIGH - TEL 07437 907710 - NO TIMEWASTERS - MAY SWAP

 

Your garage Billy?

[fordperv]

andy18s the quickest way to find out if it is cavcraft, txt the number asking if they will swap for a corsa b, if you get a reply within 30 seconds it's him

[vulgalour]

That long?

[vulgalour]

This is a Vine of a Morris Marina police car going neenaa

 

https://v.cdn.vine.co/r/videos/628D3B696F1173719244706607104_29c5f73e6c5.5.1.14652366811056178478.mp4?versionId=cFeoCoPr6IXIQNpolD4pAWDXloW94_mT

 

 

I have no idea how to embed this.  It's courtesy of @mrjaydeeem over on that there Twitter.

[320touring]

e30 FTW! the 320i started after being stood for 2 months- first turn of the key, and battery had been connected the whole time

[daveb47]

Not for the weak arsed....

[daveb47]

It think they are taking the piss

http://metro.co.uk/2015/02/01/yellow-snow-warning-for-next-four-days-over-britain-5044480/

[Cavcraft]

The advert for the Kalos is from the trader who bought it off me. He has sold it, too!

[beko1987]

Just had a colleague come over in a rush requesting that some marketing needs to be stopped at all costs for one of our clients. They kept mentioning Celerio.

 

I had a quick google, as Royal Mail will want to know a reason as all the stock has been worked and is on the way to the local delivery offices to be pushed through front doors with the post

 

The penny then dropped...

 

http://www.bbc.com/news/business-31093206

 

Fairly snuff I suppose! I guess that's what happens when you make a car out of cardboard and hope...

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Fair play on that Kalos, I would not have bought that even for £1 off Geri Halliwell!!

[dave21478]

The snowpocalypse finally started this morning, so no work today. Stoked up the fire, found a BANGING minimal and deep house playlist on Spotify so today is likely to be spent listening to that while sitting in front of the fire, eating inhuman amounts of toast.

[daveb47]

Got about 1/2 an inch of it here,just been round the shops,about half mile round trip.

i car overturned,2 in ditches,and multiple morons skidding around all over the place.

They keep making the driving test harder...isnt it about time they tried teaching them to drive.

6 months on moped/bike before they were even allowed a licence would be a start.

[dave21478]

True dat.

Today people are still ripping through the village as fast as ever. I expect the local garage will be busy with dragging folk out of ditches.

[Cavcraft]

My doctor prescribed me Prednisolone (6 per time in the morning) tablets for my flu like thing. He said they're 'like taking a years worth of your brown inhaler in one go.'

He wasn't kidding, I reckon I could give Lance Armstrong a run for his money on my BMX bike.

[Mr Lobster]

I see that Partridge has got himself a new job at an airport...

 

[DSdriver]

Illustrated 1959 Auto Ad, DKW, "Germany's Wonder Car!" by classic_film, on Flickr

 

Published in Playboy magazine, June 1959 - Vol. 6 No. 6

 

 

[dave21478]

The snowpocalypse finally started this morning, so no work today. Stoked up the fire, found a BANGING minimal and deep house playlist on Spotify so today is likely to be spent listening to that while sitting in front of the fire, eating inhuman amounts of toast.

 

 

Well, so much for that idea.

 

*phone rings*

Hello?

Mr_21478? Its the alarm monitoring company here. the intruder alarm is sounding at property number blah blah and you are the keyholder.

fuck. ok, Im on my way.

 

Got there to find the wind had driven snow through a gap in the door at the top of the tower and triggered the alarm.

 

 

Thats a fucking lot of stairs for a fat man to climb.

 

On the plus side, the Landy is running great and the recent tyres seem top in the snow. Max depth encountered was 15cm or so.

[fordperv]

Took mrs fp's car to get tracked today, a fella Ive known for a few years did it and only charged me £10 instead of £25, well chuffed

[philibusmo]

Today I am off to look at a few cars for sale so I have something to transport me around Australia.

 

This is only meant to be a quick overview to get an idea of what's available and the prices, but I suspect there is a strong chance that I will own some new chod before the end of the day.

[Noel Tidybeard]

Teach them young! I thanked Eva by driving the long way home and twatting it through every puddle I found at speed so it covered the windscreen. Was fun

who exactly is the two year old???

[beko1987]

One is two, the other can have the mental age of a 2 year old...

[Inspector Morose]

Only on this site can someone go off travelling and still go off and buy chod! The force is strong in that one!

[cms206]

Have chuntered on about this in the past... my 68 year old boss's K-series 416 Tourer is going for test tomorrow.

 

 

 

One head gasket (at 192k) and one ECU (at 205k). Mileage is genuine.

[Craig the Princess]

Awesome. Those R8s just rack up the miles. The earlier K-series cars seem to last better too.