What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Junkman]

There is air to be released from tyres, superglue dispensed into keyholes, dog shit to be pushed into letter boxes, padlocks to be put on gates, lawns to be mowed early on Sunday mornings, stuff to be reported to the council, pizzas to be ordered on their behalf, telescopes to be arranged in windows in a way so they are aware of it, etc etc.

However, I found out you can annoy stupid neighbors most by being extremely friendly to them. Always greet them heartily, wave and smile at them when you see them, bring them home-baked cakes, stuff like that.

[Mr Lobster]

^ Yep, I really confuses the fuckers if you are overly nice to them. Smile, wave perhaps even blow a kiss, should set them off treat.

[oman5]

^ Yep, I really confuses the fuckers if you are overly nice to them. Smile, wave perhaps even blow a kiss, should set them off treat.

absolutely. then when you DO post dogshit through their letterbox, superglue their locks etc they won't suspect it was you. hahaha 

 

 

I live in a terrace, and parking can be a struggle but to be honest the residents all seem really chilled about it. i.e, park  wherever you can without worrying about whose house you're outside. probably because many of them have 2 cars, or 1 car and a works van and you can't park them both outside your own house. 

[Angrydicky]

I must be lucky then. I live on a terraced street within a CPZ with marked bays for parking. Except outside this house and the two either side there are double yellow lines for some reason, meaning I always have to park outside other people's houses. Never had a problem.

 

Unlike when I drove delivery vans for Asda, I'd be parked outside someone's house for five minutes doing a delivery and some prick would come out and give me a load of abuse. It just isn't necessary.

[brickwall]

There is air to be released from tyres, superglue dispensed into keyholes, dog shit to be pushed into letter boxes, padlocks to be put on gates, lawns to be mowed early on Sunday mornings, stuff to be reported to the council, pizzas to be ordered on their behalf, telescopes to be arranged in windows in a way so they are aware of it, etc etc.

However, I found out you can annoy stupid neighbors most by being extremely friendly to them. Always greet them heartily, wave and smile at them when you see them, bring them home-baked cakes, stuff like that.

 

 

You stole my thunder. There is one woman (historical bitch) to whom I say "Good morning!" to every morning without fail. When I walked the dog recently she nearly said it back but caught her tongue. She actually has to concentrate on not saying it and just looking straight ahead. Everyone here says pleasantries when you pass.

[Junkman]

Daft bitch. Train the dog to bite her ankle.

[brickwall]

hehe

 

It's so much fun taunting them by being civil and polite.

[Richard]

Oh I see! You mean he's parking like that to make a point, because you've parked a little bit past the front garden boundary?

 

Correct. It's not even as far as it looks from that angle, no more than four inches. He always parks really close even if I'm on "my" side but this is the first time he's left it touching. A bit daft, his is the one that a few scratches would make a difference to.

 

There is no need for retaliation on my part, people like that always "get" themselves, for example by putting the car in a position where damage is inevitable, or piss off the wrong person one day.

[Sloth in a bowl]

Roadkill on youtube  Basically two yanks with loads of company dosh, buy tatty old cars and fit superchargers. It's a giggle.

[cobblers]

Yeah, that's one of the best serieseses on youtube. The hosts aren't annoying or stupid and it's not over-dramatised or anything, plus it's filmed in 1080 and edited well.

[vulgalour]

From another forum this little Moke is brilliant and I really like it.

 

 

Feel free to disagree, but I reckon the Moke is a car that really pulls off this silly paintjob with considerable aplomb.  This paint scheme would probably look silly on something a bit more grown up like a P6 but I don't think that would make me like it any less.

[Wilko220]

^ Like that more than I would admit to most people.

 

Rightly or wrongly, this made me chuckle: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/police-officers-waste-600000-of-taxpayers-cash-putting-wrong-fuel-in-cars-despite-talking-fuel-caps-designed-to-warn-them-8889636.html

[Spiny Norman]

This paint scheme would probably look silly on something a bit more grown up like a P6 but I don't think that would make me like it any less.

 

My mate's got a shed painted just like that.

 

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

I like it. I'm assuming it's a deliberate take on the Paul Smith colour scheme:

 

[overrun]

I bought a cheapo Smart ForTwo tonight. Yes, really.

 

The plan is to do a couple of little jobs and palm it off tto some skinny jeaned hipster type.

 

Also, jerky 'box aside, I quite like it.

[jakebullet]

Weighed in 150 royal mail shares and got my initial investment* back. So I've got £370 worth of free shares for postman Pat to drive down to being worth nowt while he shafts my ebay biz at the same time. Er, drifting into grumpy territory now...

[TimothyClaypole]

V40ish for Roadkill.

 

Top Gear need to watch a few of these. 

 

Just watched 4 Episodes instead of going to bed.

[trigger]

People keep telling me that I have far too much time on my hands, I don't know why?.

 

[Junkman]

Enter 'Joseph', the multi coloured P6:
 

 
It was built by the P6 Club secretary to show off as many original P6 colours as possible.
 
Chrysler Corp frequently painted cars in all available colours for car show purposes.
 

 

[UmBongo]

The territorial pissings twat next door has parked his Jetta so it's actually touching my C5. The C5 has an electric pump for the suspension and it rises up an inch or so when you unlock the doors and then creeps down slowly as the pressure leaks back. It also goes down a fair bit when people get in and then lifts itself back up. I don't expect his front number plate to be still attached when the cars are separated .

 

 

What a wankbag.

 

I take it there is history with this guy?

 

A friend of my mum has the same problem with her neighbour.

 

He's a curtain twitcher, and if anyone even thinks about parking outside his shit-box, he's out with a measuring tape.

[Negative Creep]

944 has gone. In retrospect it wasn't the wisest impluse purhcase I've made (another one to add to the list). Now I need a nice big, comfy replacement for under a grand. Any ideas?

[vulgalour]

I quickly hopped on eBay for you and found this Japanese luxury vehicle which ticks all the boxes, it's even been thoughtfully painted to match the forum.  WCPGW &c.

 

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/lexus-ls-400-/390680754278?pt=Automobiles_UK&hash=item5af6633866

[RedSparrow]

Roadkill on youtube  Basically two yanks with loads of company dosh, buy tatty old cars and fit superchargers. It's a giggle.

 

Hey that's pretty good, thanks.

 

That bloke's beard is extremely cuntish though, but you can't have it all I suppose.

[Negative Creep]

I quickly hopped on eBay for you and found this Japanese luxury vehicle which ticks all the boxes, it's even been thoughtfully painted to match the forum.  WCPGW &c.

 

 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/lexus-ls-400-/390680754278?pt=Automobiles_UK&hash=item5af6633866

 

 

Funny you should mention that, as I have added a few of them to my watch list (that one is slightly too far away though)

[beko1987]

Gave the XM a wash now. Looks loads better now there's not ash all down the drivers side and mud all up the passenger side! Dodd need a good polish and wax though

[Spiny Norman]

One of my friends on Facebook was bemoaning the twat who demolished the back of his old Polo a few weeks ago....

 

 

But unlike the case would have been here, it wasn't written off by his insurers and he got it back yesterday.

 

[retrogeezer]

looks like a pretty good job! Bumper not straight though.

[twosmoke300]

Just saw a white ambassador done up as a wedding car this afternoon. Too slow with my phone to get a piccy sorry. Made me smile tho

[Wilko220]

Nice little story about some rare foreign autoshite

 

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/motoring/classiccars/10383038/Fangios-car-driven.html

 

[George-Roper]

http://www.copart.co.uk/c2/homeSearch.html?_eventId=getLot&execution=e2s2&lotId=23717173&returnPage=SEARCH_RESULTS

Mileage: 7

 

Yep 7 miles what a tosser.