What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[cort16]

I found some pictures of my old S Class and others. Things weren't great under those chrome arches (are they ever?)

 

 

 

 

M535i. I've forgotten what a heap it was. And that interior. Sheesh.

 

 

 

Xr4i. How clean is this, I paid 400 quid or something for it.

 

 

 

E280

 

 

535i sport with 100 paint match repair

 

 

[NorfolkNWeigh]

My stupidity knows no bounds.

I have a Kuwati family that keep me on retainer and one of the things they do is get random shit sent to my house if people won't ship to Kuwait, for whatever reason. I either forward it or keep it until one of them comes over.

Today I went into That London to drop one of the family to Heathrow, I took 3 packages thT arrived on Monday that he'd warned me were coming. all good, until.....

Phone rings when I'm about 10 miles away from the airport on my way home;

" Hey Norfolk I don't think one of these boxes is ours"

" oh, are you sure?" Says I

He'd unpacked them in the lounge to transfer, what he thought were 20 baseball caps embroidered with his Kite Team name on them.

Instead something embarrassing of mine. Not a gimp mask and selection of butt plugs, no it was far worse.

" In the box are 3 toy cars" he laughed

Yes I'd forgotten I was expecting 2 1/43 Simcas and a Volvo V70 from Split-Pin of this very forum.

In my defence the box was attached to some photographs for them, but obviously just by the Postman.

 

Anyway, they're on their way - First Class , of course to Kuwait City and he'll FedEx them back to me- Doh!

[AlabamaShrimp]

26!! Drives a Maxi some of the other people look ancient as well

 

[beko1987]

Big thanks to people on here, on 971 subscribers now! Starting to recognise some of the usernames!

 

Ill have to do a shite vac special, I have just the thing actually, have had for some time!

[AlabamaShrimp]

Branch out into other stuff to fix then start with the link ups with other channels.

[beko1987]

Branch out into other stuff to fix then start with the link ups with other channels.

I've done 2 collaboration videos already! Fixed a Hoover Junior for HooverLux, and a Hoover Junior for IBAISAIC. Was fun!

[Ghosty]

A memory just popped into my head of a car that used to sit on the main road near my house, sadly I never saw it move...

 

It was a beige Citroen BX with wheeltrims and a full bodykit and wing.

For some reason it had Martini Racing graphics like on the Group A Delta HFs, and the Martini logos read 'Mankini'...

it was ace.

[fordperv]

All new cars are shit

 

 

 

I was grabbing a few bits and pieces and saw a 206 parked quite silly I the middle of nowhere and a chap looking quite unhappy so I thought I'd see if he needed help, turns out it wouldn't start and he tried to bump start it, out come the jump leads and he was well chuffed as people hadn't bothered to see if he was ok, turns out he used to live directly behind me he recognised my car

[Junkman]

Ring, ring...

 

Me: Hello, who is disturbing me?

 

Computer Voice: Hello, this is Linda. I understand you recently had a car accident that wasn't your fault?

 

Me: I have terrible hemmorhoids.

 

CV: That's good. Can you now please tell me the date when this accident has happened?

 

Me: Honestly, my hemmorhoids are really bothering me. They are quite painful, too.

 

CV: You've been disconnected - toot - toot - toot...

[danthecapriman]

Had a good day at work today.

 

Went in early as asked because of the bad weather (wind) overnight, they wanted us all in incase there was much damage to the power grid.

Nothing doing down here on the south coast.

 

I was about to sod off but got accosted on the way out. 'Can you go up to Petersfield area? There's a 33KV overhead line damaged.'

 

So off I went up the A3. The overhead line was across Thursley common near Hindhead. So I've spent the whole day trekking across the lovely common land and forests around the area, and getting paid to do it! And the weathers been nice today too!

It's lovely up there, I might go back in spring or summer with the dogs and have a better wonder around.

 

Damage turned out to be a tree blown over resting on the line. Shoved it off and all good.

[Kiltox]

Ring, ring...

 

Me: Hello, who is disturbing me?

 

Computer Voice: Hello, this is Linda. I understand you recently had a car accident that wasn't your fault?

 

Me: I have terrible hemmorhoids.

 

CV: That's good. Can you now please tell me the date when this accident has happened?

 

Me: Honestly, my hemmorhoids are really bothering me. They are quite painful, too.

 

CV: You've been disconnected - toot - toot - toot...

I had this today too - ‭020 8123 7314‬ ?

[andy18s]

.

[155V6]

Had a good day at work today.

 

Went in early as asked because of the bad weather (wind) overnight, they wanted us all in incase there was much damage to the power grid.

Nothing doing down here on the south coast.

 

I was about to sod off but got accosted on the way out. 'Can you go up to Petersfield area? There's a 33KV overhead line damaged.'

 

So off I went up the A3. The overhead line was across Thursley common near Hindhead. So I've spent the whole day trekking across the lovely common land and forests around the area, and getting paid to do it! And the weathers been nice today too!

It's lovely up there, I might go back in spring or summer with the dogs and have a better wonder around.

 

Damage turned out to be a tree blown over resting on the line. Shoved it off and all good.

It's nice round there isn't it?.I do quite a few deliveries in that area as it's only a few miles from our yard 

[danthecapriman]

It's nice round there isn't it?.I do quite a few deliveries in that area as it's only a few miles from our yard 

I love it around there, I'd love to live there but it's expensive. Such a nice bit of the countryside.

There's lots of narrow lanes and hills around there though, it was good fun throwing the Sprinter around!

[robinmasters]

Current VW advert for their little SUV thing. Features a black sheep. Leading the herd, standing up to a bull etc.

 

The car is a small SUV, currently a fashionable type of vehicle, and the one in the advert is a white one, currently a fashionable colour for cars. Advertised by a black sheep. Individuality isn't limited to the owners of older Volkswagens.

[barefoot]

Took my jar of crappy little coinage into the bank where they have a coin county machine that you just pour into.

Imagine my surprise when I saw a conker and a wheelnut whizzing around with all my change.

Seventy one quids.

I iz winner.

[John F]

.

 

#stealthcunt

 

A good one, too!

 

[dollywobbler]

Took my jar of crappy little coinage into the bank where they have a coin county machine that you just pour into.

Imagine my surprise when I saw a conker and a wheelnut whizzing around with all my change.

Seventy one quids.

I iz winner.

 

How much for the conker?

[Junkman]

I had this today too - ‭020 8123 7314‬ ?

 

No idea. I could ask the Junkwoman, she knows how to operate those tellingbones.

[AlabamaShrimp]

How much for the conker?

Isn't that Colins dinner?

[panhard65]

Looks like I am going to buy another hearse.  I am Trying to work out my way home from Barcelona. I was going to do the shortest drive and ferry from Santander. The only problem with that one is a day and a half on the boat. It is also 400 miles from Barcelona. The other option is 825 miles to Cherbourg. It will certainly give the car a good run before it gets home.

[richardmorris]

It's nice round there isn't it?.I do quite a few deliveries in that area as it's only a few miles from our yard

I’ve walked a bit round there. Thursley is very open and has good views in places. I’ve been in work from dark to dark. Oh well.

 

 

Here’s a good one. Follows round where the James Bond Skyfall was filmed at the lions mouth. Scottish glens, no Hampshire and Surrey!

[richardmorris]

And Thursley from Whitley common.

[Guest Tink]

Had a good day at work today.

 

Went in early as asked because of the bad weather (wind) overnight, they wanted us all in incase there was much damage to the power grid.

Nothing doing down here on the south coast.

 

I was about to sod off but got accosted on the way out. 'Can you go up to Petersfield area? There's a 33KV overhead line damaged.'

 

So off I went up the A3. The overhead line was across Thursley common near Hindhead. So I've spent the whole day trekking across the lovely common land and forests around the area, and getting paid to do it! And the weathers been nice today too!

It's lovely up there, I might go back in spring or summer with the dogs and have a better wonder around.

 

Damage turned out to be a tree blown over resting on the line. Shoved it off and all good.

 

My first visit to the forum and the first thread i clicked on there was a map of home, yep great place to live plenty of walks and some good roads 

[OwdChina]

 

Awesome

[hairnet]

Cough

[Junkman]

 

Awesome

 

[MarvinsMom]

none of them can match "the man in black"

 

sorry.....

[Junkman]

Ring, ring...

 

Me: Hello, who is disturbing me?

 

Computer Voice: Hello, this is Andrew. I understand you recently had a car accident that wasn't your fault?

 

Me: You have reached Susi's Pleasure Line. Please note that calls may be recorded for training purposes. Calls are 100 quid a minute.

       State your credit card number, expiry date and security code.

 

CV: That's good. Can you now please tell me the date when this accident has happened?

 

Me: Oh, I'm so horny, please let me suck your big throbbing dick, ah, uh, oh!

 

CV: You've been disconnected - toot - toot - toot...

[Junkman]

none of them can match "the man in black"

 

sorry.....

 

Damn right you are.