What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[xtriple]

Just attacked my new teeth with the cordless drill. After much grinding action, they fit! Better still, they don't hurt like buggery (told that hurts, no personal experience    )  but now need to attack left hand side as slight clearance issue.

 

Bloody hell, it's like setting up a race car, my gob will be sooooo fab I will be able to talk more shit, faster.

[The Moog]

 

 

You are Ben Dover And I Claim My Free Porn.....

Efa

[Eddie Honda]

Just renewed my 5 classic* policy with FJ. Cost? 61 new pence more that last year at £190.20.

 

[richardthestag]

I live in a household that doesnt own one single car that should sit in the modurn shite discussion forum.

 

That said why separate it out? 

[vulgalour]

 

 

Pete and his Hillman are obnoxious in just the right way.  One of our neighbours is trying to sell their house at the moment, they must absolutely fucking love us.

[DodgeRover]

2 poor guys were polishing the traffic cones on the M23 approach yesterday!!!

[strangeangel]

It'll take you about 20 minutes to read this, but trust me it's worth it. Get a brew on and enjoy:

 

https://www.bikechatforums.com/viewtopic.php?t=318572

[cobblers]

What a fanny.

 

TLDR:

 

Idiot loses key for £2500 motorbike but won't pay £125 for locksmith, so decides to take the front forks off it on the pavement outside his house I presume to take the steering lock off

Leaves it on its side on the floor for weeks cos he's useless. Fire brigade and police are called out because it's leaking oil and pez on the ground (even though he says it isn't)

Eventually the council come and take it away as abandoned.

 

Idiot gets all in a huff that you can't just leave a bike in pieces on it's side on the pavement, then comes up with a plan of putting a ground anchor into the council footpath slabs with a small cordless drill.

[strangeangel]

^^^ don't forget the bit where he found the key in the belly pan but continued dismantling the bike anyway

[Guest Hooli]

What a fanny.

 

TLDR:

 

Idiot loses key for £2500 motorbike but won't pay £125 for locksmith, so decides to take the front forks off it on the pavement outside his house I presume to take the steering lock off

Leaves it on its side on the floor for weeks cos he's useless. Fire brigade and police are called out because it's leaking oil and pez on the ground (even though he says it isn't)

Eventually the council come and take it away as abandoned.

 

Idiot gets all in a huff that you can't just leave a bike in pieces on it's side on the pavement, then comes up with a plan of putting a ground anchor into the council footpath slabs with a small cordless drill.

 

Cheers, I didn't bother reading it. Now I don't need too.

[Tamworthbay]

My mate at work is a 'bit of a lad' shall we say, he has been seeing this lass in London for a while but was looking for a way out. They were at the Diana memorial sculpture thing when she asked him what he thought it represented, she wasn't very happy when he said he thought it was the Paris ring road. Needless to add, his problem is solved. I nearly pissed myself laughing when he told me.

[Eddie Honda]

Your mate at work is Taff AICMFP.

[Kiltox]

Might not be leaving the shite life behind after all - currently working a deal that might mean I can keep my unit without anywhere near as much financial stress!

[wuvvum]

On the way into work this morning I passed an old dear (must have been 75 if she was a day) piloting a very tidy Mimosa yellow Dolomite Sprint.  Probably owned since new I would imagine.

[cort16]

Given the Panda is broken I decided to switch the insurance over to the Cadillac. I called up my insurance company, gave them the reg no of the panda, the reg no of the Cadillac, the told me how much extra it would be and that was it! Normally they go through every fucking detail of your underpants size and colour of the carpets but they just switched it over. Makes a nice change.

Looking forward to getting some miles on made in america.

[cobblers]

We've an apprentice at work and while hes a decent enough lad, he's completely inept and useless in any workplace, but he's a nephew of one of the directors so we're stuck with him.

 

I was going to order about £300 of stuff to build a test jig to press buttons on a product, to test the durability.

 

Instead, they've made it this lads job to press the buttons until it breaks and log how long it took. Fantastic! He's not our problem for at least a week! Plus I get to tell customers an amusing story when explaining the development process.

[M'coli]

Tax rebate!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

[Noel Tidybeard]

On the way into work this morning I passed an old dear (must have been 75 if she was a day) piloting a very tidy Mimosa yellow Dolomite Sprint.  Probably owned since new I would imagine.

 

has Gerrard left his keys unattended again

[Cavcraft]

Insurance for the Fireblade turned out to be about £118 in the end. I don't know how fast they go flat out (and have no intentions of trying to find out by riding it) but it's crazy it's so cheap.

[michael1703]

It'll take you about 20 minutes to read this, but trust me it's worth it. Get a brew on and enjoy:

 

https://www.bikechatforums.com/viewtopic.php?t=318572

I looked up his other threads in the run up, help I've lost my key etc.

 

One thread says 'why doesn't John mcguiness do motogp'

 

If I could be arsed enough to join, I'd mention he raced in gps and beat Rossi at donington

[Guest Hooli]

Insurance for the Fireblade turned out to be about £118 in the end. I don't know how fast they go flat out (and have no intentions of trying to find out by riding it) but it's crazy it's so cheap.

 

Daft isn't it?

 

I never understood how my 125 was the same to insure as the RF600 when I passed my test. Same company, £15 to change bikes & an identical policy. I know which I was more dangerous on.

[Cavcraft]

I think it's because smaler stuff is more likely to be stolen, as well as more likely to be owned by a kid who thinks he's Barry Sheene on his GoldenBee GloriousTits 49cc scooter.

 

 

Anyway, another grin for me is Halfords. The main one in Chester have pretty much always been ace, very helpful, polite and just pleasant to talk to. Anyhow, got a new battery for the Civic on my trade card, saved about £18 or so, a couple of quid off a can of choke and carb cleaner and as I was leaving the lad came running out with a £10 discount voucher because I'd spent over £50!

[cort16]

Do you need to be VAT registered to get a Halfords trade card?

[Cavcraft]

I got one when I joined the old Cavalier Owners Network, now called VXON*, I think. It's saved me an absolute fortune over the years, not sure what the criteria is to get one through Halfods though. Well worth it if you do though.

 

*Brilliant forum in it's day.

[cort16]

It would be handy. I always feel like I've got a bit of a sore arse when I leave paying £5 for 4 electrical connectors.

[Richard]

Do you need to be VAT registered to get a Halfords trade card?

 

I know somebody on here who is a social worker and managed to get a trade card.

[Kiltox]

Do you need to be VAT registered to get a Halfords trade card?

No.

 

They ask for proof of trade - a business card or letterhead....

[Tickman]

Do you need to be VAT registered to get a Halfords trade card?

You can get one as a courier so print up a letter head of man and van then go to halfords and get a card. 

£4.99 light bulbs for 75p thank you very much.

[fordperv]

Ive been a little unhappy in my job for a while, yesterday went for an interview that was supposed to last for an hour but 10 minutes in i was offered the job, 4k a year more than im on currently so more money to spend on motors in well chuffed

[xtriple]

Just had a chat with two gentlemen of the law who were sat in their brand new Skoda VRS thing, all unmarked, having their lunch watching the waves crash at Daddyhole plain. Decent pair of coves and I was really pleased to see an unmarked traffic car round here... I asked how many so far and got the answer: 'lots since Friday!'

 

6 points and £200 fine.

 

I really don't like mobile phone use while driving so it cheered me right up.