What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[oldcars]

Sounds like me but I've not been up north today

Ha ha, it was a bigger van 

[Supernaut]

I just got a USB label printer for use at work.

 

As a test, I used it to print a label for itself. It's an evil-looking little black box, so it's now called HAL-1000.

[inconsistant]

 

As my parents will confirm, the correct answers was actually 'Luton'.

[strangeangel]

Good on you mate.  I should really start thinking about doing the same at some point.

 

Nah, it's over-rated - I tried it but sacked it off as a bad job.

[The Moog]

Saw a transit van towing a quashi thingy into petrol station earlier. The guys looked like travellers (site nearby) and the ladies in the car were a couple of old dears who looked like they were off to church.

 

Choice of tow rope

[Richard]

Nothing wrong with that, I've done 50 mile tows on that kind of rope.

[The Moog]

Nothing wrong with that, I've done 50 mile tows on that kind of rope.

Semi frayed? It couldn't look more dodgy

[Richard]

It did get shorter every time I used it.

[DodgeRover]

Saw a transit van towing a quashi thingy into petrol station earlier. The guys looked like travellers (site nearby) and the ladies in the car were a couple of old dears who looked like they were off to church.

 

Choice of tow rope

To be fair it looks more suitable than cutting the seatbelts to make a rope when towing in a scrapper.....

 

I just got a USB label printer for use at work.

 

As a test, I used it to print a label for itself. It's an evil-looking little black box, so it's now called HAL-1000.

I'm sorry Dave I can't do that....

[dollywobbler]

Chimneys want sweeping every 6 months!!!! Buy some brushes and get it done.

At least one sweep a year if you are just keeping a fire in over winter.

Creosote is either wet wood or having the fire shut down too much

 

We've left ours for two years, with no issues. Well, apart from one chimney fire, but it didn't need sweeping after that... I do it annually now.

 

What you're burning does make a huge difference too. We were clagging our stove up something rotten with the damp, shitty wood we were getting locally, which is why we're now getting kiln-dried stuff shipped in. Expensive, but then our annual gas bill is £0. I have to keep reminding myself of that fact...

[Pillock]

I rack up loads of nectar points on ebay. Trouble is they amount to fuck all real money, or at least that's what Amy says when she goes to spend them

I'm up to 32,000 points since Christmas 2015 so £160 for a massive Christmas shop.

[michael1703]

[beko1987]

Ha wtf?

[fordperv]

Cards arrived this morning

someone needs to photoshop the escort van onto the business card*

[bub2006]

I'd rather not. New year new start. Want to put this one behind

[Negative Creep]

Seeing a mint condition Ford Racing Puma pull up and a guy who must have been well into his 70s slowly climb out

[Kiltox]

Thank you. A bit slow at the minute but I will do anything. Wont/can't do tip runs at the minute due to 250 quid charge for waste licence.

It's cheaper direct from GOV.UK - be careful as there are some dodgy third parties around that basically just fill out the same forms and charge you £100+ more https://www.gov.uk/waste-carrier-or-broker-registration

[chatsharris]

I just got a USB label printer for use at work.

 

As a test, I used it to print a label for itself. It's an evil-looking little black box, so it's now called HAL-1000.

Big fan of them.  I sneakily replace labels on peoples mugs with statements such as 'My Dad's penis tastes funny'.

[bub2006]

It's cheaper direct from GOV.UK - be careful as there are some dodgy third parties around that basically just fill out the same forms and charge you £100+ more https://www.gov.uk/waste-carrier-or-broker-registration

Cheers. 154 quid. Best start saving. Everyone wants tip runs

[Pillock]

I was at White Rose in Leeds yesterday, finished a bit of work and was sat in my car doing a bit of admin before setting off.

 

In front of me was a DVLA van with a camera on each corner of the roof. Clearly the have been in the process of clamping a Corsa when the owner turned up, site security van turned up too

 

 

Anyway. This woman is giving it mouth, she's gonna "do him over" and "it's not her fault" yet strangely "I missed one payment, that's it" (sounds like her fault then but hey ho) at 120dB. The guy I was on the phone to at the time could hear.

 

Eventually the DVLA drive off, and daft bint and her four teenage kids start to try and get the clamp off with a variety of screwdrivers out the boot before resorting to hitting it with a rock they found. No, really. For five minutes they were just smacking a rock against the chain.

 

Then she got in the car, started the engine and slowly drove forward with a lad watching, presumably to see if you can just drive out of a clamp. Guess what, you can't! Who knew.

 

Last seen all sat in the car with faces like slapped arses.

[Tamworthbay]

I was at White Rose in Leeds yesterday, finished a bit of work and was sat in my car doing a bit of admin before setting off.

In front of me was a DVLA van with a camera on each corner of the roof. Clearly the have been in the process of clamping a Corsa when the owner turned up, site security van turned up too

Anyway. This woman is giving it mouth, she's gonna "do him over" and "it's not her fault" yet strangely "I missed one payment, that's it" (sounds like her fault then but hey ho) at 120dB. The guy I was on the phone to at the time could hear.

Eventually the DVLA drive off, and daft bint and her four teenage kids start to try and get the clamp off with a variety of screwdrivers out the boot before resorting to hitting it with a rock they found. No, really. For five minutes they were just smacking a rock against the chain.

Then she got in the car, started the engine and slowly drove forward with a lad watching, presumably to see if you can just drive out of a clamp. Guess what, you can't! Who knew.

Last seen all sat in the car with faces like slapped arses.

if ever a post needed a YouTube link, this is it.

[Pillock]

FFS, double post and can't delete it.

 

Edit, no it's fucking not, just Tapatalk telling me it was, letting me edit the second one and the first one disappears. AAARGH.

 

Anyway, the gist is that her lads all looked like steroid enthusiasts, and I didn't fancy winding them up any more

[bub2006]

Sounds like a usual day in Kirkby or Sutton pillock

[Pillock]

Naaah, they'd have set the DVLA van on fire.

[tooSavvy]

Big fan of them.  I sneakily replace labels on peoples mugs with statements such as 'My Dad's penis tastes funny'.

UR 'the Dymo terrorist' AICMFP

 

TS

[bub2006]

Naaah, they'd have set the DVLA van on fire.

After joyriding it first obviously. And dvla bloke getting a kicking by a roided meathead

[Alfamale]

Sorry to be pedantic but surely the white rose car park is private land so surely the DVLA can't clamp them there not being on a public highway.

 

Obviously the dozy bint has driven there and is probably only liable for £35 per year or summat daft but I do wonder what jurisdiction the DVLA has in a public car park but on private land.

[Pillock]

It's a publicly accessible place so I believe when they rules on continuous tax changed a while back, they made it so carparks etc were fair game.

 

The shopping centre security were there so perhaps there's some cash change hands for the "right" to drive around the carpark.

[Kiltox]

Cheers. 154 quid. Best start saving. Everyone wants tip runs

Not sure how it works once you have a permit though - I know that down here you still can't take "business" waste to the same tip as household

[Negative Creep]

Wonder if there's a pre-Xmas crackdown going on, since I've seen a lot of cars around here (yep, usually Zafiras and Astras) sitting there with a clamp and notice on the windscreen