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What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

outlaw118

By outlaw118
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Bobthebeard Rank: Lancia Gamma

Bobthebeard

Posted
Posted

The next door neighbours have moved out from the rented house. Grin is that the cats they had have moved with them! My lurcher dog no longer has to spend most of the day barking and scrabbling at the window looking at cats. No doubt the next incumbent will have even more cats, but a break for now at least!

xtriple Rank: Renault 16

xtriple

Posted
Posted

My laptop is back, fixed, fixed and what's more, even more fixed! As Nick rang me this morning to say 'have you by any chance got a dog?' as apparently, the copious amounts of dog hair had stopped the coffee from getting anywhere important I asked him if he could see if he could get the IETIS thing for my Bentley working.

 

By the time I got to his shop, he'd got it fixed, installed and short-cutted to boot.  So I now have a working workshop manual, parts catalogue (illustrated) and hours for each job, all the electrical shizz, all my Zytec management stuff and it's FUCKING GREAT! Cheeky bastard charged me £25 for all the bother stripping it down, cleaning it all out, sorting out windows 10 so most of the shit has gone (much faster, MUCH faster, almost okay in fact) and sorting me out a new start menu and stuff.

 

Only downside was: when he was demonstrating the laptop to me, his fingers were wizzing around the keyboard so fast and things were appearing and disappearing at such a rate of knots, I couldn't keep up with it/him and I felt really fucking ancient!

 

Good lad is Nick :)

Tickman Rank: Renault 16

Tickman

Posted
Posted

My eldest has managed to raise over £500 for charity and donated her hair to some charity that make wigs for children who have no hair for a number of reasons.

 

Have a short video of some scruffy git who needs to cut down his beer intake removing some hair, how thrilling*

 

holbeck Rank: Renault 16

holbeck

Posted
Posted

​A work colleague has asked for help to buy a car, something for his wife to learn to drive in,

 

"What's the budget?" I say, ......he says 5 to 6, I suggect the Wuvum Picanto at £350.

 

He says no, 5 to 6 K.

 

I say "you've asked the wrong bloke"  but on second thoughts.......Dacia.

Snipes Rank: Lancia Gamma

Snipes

Posted
Posted

For the 3rd year running we've been told that my girlfriend's beloved Fiesta (that I bought off her as a favour and have been using for the last year) is very rusty and unlikely to pass another MOT.

 

She's coming around to the idea that I'll need a replacement so I'm chod shopping!

hairnet Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

hairnet

Posted
Posted

​A work colleague has asked for help to buy a car, something for his wife to learn to drive in,

 

"What's the budget?" I say, ......he says 5 to 6, I suggect the Wuvum Picanto at £350.

 

He says no, 5 to 6 K.

 

I say "you've asked the wrong bloke" but on second thoughts.......Dacia.

Base sandero or lightly used 18 month old better specced one for 4.5k
AMC Rebel Rank: Renault 16

AMC Rebel

Posted
Posted

 

The best bit for me though was the Ford Probe in the corner of the lot. They are fugly, but lovely!

 

MX6 is the better looking sister (essentially the same car) 

 

<trivia> Probe was styled by a woman </trvia>

 

I like them both but have never found one at the intersection of price/condition that made one worthwhile - for ages they were too expensive for what they were, now there are only knackered ones left at seemingly any price.

 

The totally twatty plate on that one makes my teeth itch.

 

This is much better value -

 

http://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/201610038383143

beko1987 Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

beko1987

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Posted

I think part of its appeal today was it was the only old car in the place, and they had probably 45 cars, 2nd oldest was my car. That I parked right in front of the joint, then sunk it to the floor.

xtriple Rank: Renault 16

xtriple

Posted
Posted

Just had a brilliant conversation with a lass from the AA - funny, flirty and a right laugh. I ended up getting her really, REALLY flustered which was most amusing!

 

She rang up for a 'courtesy call' and to 'check that my level of cover is sufficient and I am happy with it'... so I asked her what she was trying to flog me...

 

'No no, just a courtesy call etc'

 

So we got talking about dogs (I always seem to spend more time chatting to people about dogs than anything else!) my tow and her two miniature Schnauzers (F'narr!) and we eventually get down to the crux of the matter....

 

'Did you know that the AA could cover the cost of your repairs bills?'

 

No - being thick and ignorant as I am, also contrary 'cos I do know!

 

'How much would you say your cars (we've already established there's three of them) have cost in servicing and repairs this year?'

 

What a silly question to ask ME! But I said:

 

Yeah, got a fair idea....

 

'Well the AA could have saved you (x) pounds if you'd spent (Y) did you spend anywhere near that?'

 

Do you really want to know?

 

'Yes,'

 

It'll make you cry....

 

 

So I told her. After she'd said she wanted repair and servicing costs not the purchase price and I said that WAS the repair and servicing costs, she really got her knickers in a twist. It was hilarious, she hadn't got a clue what to say! The conversation ended quite soon after.

 

Still, it was fun and she was a happy, chatty lass but obviously scripted and when the conversation deviated THAT much away from the script, she was lost.

  • richardmorris, Eddie Honda, NorfolkNWeigh and 2 others
  • Like 5
forddeliveryboy Rank: Isuzu Florian

forddeliveryboy

Posted
Posted

Apparently some new fivers on ebay are being advertised for many times their face value. 

 

Here's someone with a sense of humour - http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/361790469216

 

And some serious sellers,

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Rare-Reverse-5-Note-Backwards-Unique-One-of-a-Kind-Rare-Opportunity/351883753564

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/AM02-Bank-of-England-Polymer-5-Five-Pound-Note-Genuine-New-Note/131976815183

alf892 Rank: Renault 16

alf892

Posted
Posted

Just watching Chasing Classic Cars.....posh yank dealer borrowing an autoshite Volvo to go to a show...

meggersdog Rank: Renault 16

meggersdog

Posted
Posted

The stupidity of people.

Fella comes in today for an mot on a Discovery TD5. I could smell the diesel as it parked up.The fella starts gushing about a new motorbike he's bought.A BMW blah blah with heated grips, yeah whatever.Those who know about TD5's will know what's coming.

On the ramp and up in the air there is a constant drip of diesel at the front of the gearbox bell housing.Yep the fuel regulator has sprung a leak."Very common on these TD5's" says I. So much so that a Defender TD5 that came in at 4 O'clock was also leaking.

Anyhow, I carry on with the MOT and there's a bit of chassis rot and a split in a tyre with the wire showing.The ACE light is on the dash but the system is disconnected.

So the bloke who's banging on about his new motorbike says "you're not going to fail it on that fuel leak,are you?" whilst looking at a pool of diesel the size of a dinner plate just infront of my emissions machine.

M'coli Rank: Isuzu Florian

M'coli

Posted
Posted

Morrison's pizza slab. It's nicely rectangular, cut it in half and each half fits an oven tray. Add your own topping and some extra cheese, and it's just about perfect.

  • NorthernMonkey
  • Like 1
Ghosty Rank: Talbot Tagora

Ghosty

Posted
Posted

Having successfully got the whole of my house painted in a rather fetching shade of duck egg blue with white trim instead of boring cream and various shades of wood*, I've now managed to start putting accessories such as clocks, picture frames and the like around the place in orange, and the mother quite likes it.

 

maxresdefault.jpg

 

:-D

  • Craig the Princess, Skizzer, Supernaut and 4 others
  • Like 7
hairnet Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

hairnet

Posted
Posted

In a maccys in ourense to use the facilities and buy a drink

 

Te (Tay) por favour

 

Que

 

Non cafe - te

 

Got what looked like a chicken Mayo :lol:

 

Got green tea in the end

 

Been ordering it no problem all week

 

Other lol is gave them a fiver got change

 

Manager came out and farted with till

 

Refundio

 

Scorchio

 

I'm very confused now

hairnet Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

hairnet

Posted
Posted

Morrison's pizza slab. It's nicely rectangular, cut it in half and each half fits an oven tray. Add your own topping and some extra cheese, and it's just about perfect.

Asda do those 2 meals ftw

beko1987 Rank: Matra Rancho towing a Tagora

beko1987

Posted
Posted

Paid the last payment on the Xantia of many shiters this morning, it's now legally/officially mine!

 

Thanks for the trusted shitter payment scheme daz, never been called trusted before! (unless someone wants something...)

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