What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[vulgalour]

Our boiler has been fixed.  I just had the best bath in the history of everything.  I don't care about your fantasy versions of the best bath in the history of everything, this one was real and it was AMAZING.

[philibusmo]

On Saturday I'm off on easily my most ambitious chod collection mission yet.

[DVee8]

We have just been informed that we have made the finals of the North of England wedding awards again.

[Cavcraft]

Why, how many times have you been married?

 

 

 

 

Captain Cockwand's double parked convertible was absolutely riddled with bird shit today. I have to say I'd like to think 4 slices of white bread, 6 broken biscuits and 2 broken up flapjacks liberally lobbed all over his car last night must have done the job.

He either doesn't care or is hard faced as it's not actually making him park normally, so I might just have to get some large fluorescent stars and write WANKER OF THE WEEK and SHIT PARKING, YOU TWAT on them and stick them on the windows.

[vulgalour]

 

 

Mine for the price of free.  Literally the price of free, delivered to my door.  Insurance is a meagre** £400ish on a very brief initial shop around.  It's a super little machine, I've driven it when my friend and I went to collect it and I really struggled to find anything wrong with it bar the hideous wheel trims and the lacquer peel on the roof.  It's extremely comfortable, and quite peppy with comedy handling if you really push into a corner.

 

If it all goes according to plan, it could be mine as early as mid-September and all I'd want to do is keep it as clean as it was the day my friend bought it and source some correct wheel trims for it.  During his ownership it's used no oil or water, asked for nothing and given faultless service, as you'd expect from a car that's been as well looked after as this little gem has.

 

When we went to collect it I drove it the 20 or so miles back to my friend's gaff and I didn't want to give the keys to him, it was that much fun to drive.  I reckon if I could have at the time I'd've driven it all the way back home again.

 

 

 

 

**remember, Xantia is £1500 hence coming off the road

[Lacquer Peel]

I can't believe how much the Xantia costs to insure, would you sell it or is it a keeper?

[vulgalour]

Something to do with insurance wankers.  At the moment, Mike is taking the Xantia on as weirdly it's only £550 for him to insure it at the same address, nobody seems able to explain this discrepancy as most cars are much of a muchness for us both when it comes to insurance cost.  It's not for sale at the moment, it's likely to become the shop hack and Mike's daily, he's rather keen on it and it's no surprise given how good a machine it is.

 

But if it does come up for sale, Autoshite will be the first to hear.  It's a seriously capable bus, I was devastated when I learned what the insurers wanted from me for it.

[Lacquer Peel]

 

Soz, I hope my claim didn't drive the insurance premiums of white Xantia estates up!

[320touring]

I've achieved 'Vulgalour approved cleanist' status due to judicious use of flash wipes and leather cleaner..

 

Fuck me, the interior of the e32 smells much better!

[Ghosty]

Thought that 106 was the free one in Oban for a sec...

[vulgalour]

@Tayne:  They did say something about it having a "high claim cost certificate" as a vehicle, which I read as "shit safety standards", something of a given with most French cars up to about 2000.  Nasty accident, I'd forgotten it was you that had that one.  Didn't another shiter put their Xantia into a ditch too?  Maybe they're just really dangerous cars and somethingsomethingnunskittensbasketsboom.

 

@320touring:  a clean car is a happy car.  Be sure to ban all children from this point on.

[320touring]

 

@320touring:  a clean car is a happy car.  Be sure to ban all children from this point on.

Nah not likely. . My godkids will have a hoot when they see the car and the electric seats:)

 

That said it is a much nicer place to sit now.

[Tayne]

@Tayne:  They did say something about it having a "high claim cost certificate" as a vehicle, which I read as "shit safety standards", something of a given with most French cars up to about 2000.  Nasty accident, I'd forgotten it was you that had that one.  Didn't another shiter put their Xantia into a ditch too?  Maybe they're just really dangerous cars and somethingsomethingnunskittensbasketsboom.

 

 

Eh?

 

I think you may be looking at Laquer Peel's picture rather than anything I've posted.

I believe that is the ex-ditch car.

 

Whilst I did learn to drive in a Xantia wagon back in '96, I didn't crash it.

It was stuffed into the back of a bus in Cupar (not by me) a year or so later though.

[AlabamaShrimp]

A loads of teenagers pointed and laughed at me driving the Visa home from work tonight in Guiseley to which I retorted by shouting 'Where's your fucking car you bunch of fucking mongs'.

 

I exude class.

Lol pulitzer prize right there

[vulgalour]

I derped.  My bad.  There's too many people on this damned forum.

[catsinthewelder]

Offered to fix our pub landlords Jag S-types knackered wipers,  took a good 3-4 hours to remove the seized knackered linkage and replace with a good-un from the breakers with the help of a couple of the regulars.  Had a great time and even got paid despite saying that it was fine,  the helpers enjoyed it too and are Autoshitists without knowing it (one has an AX, the other an Escort van).

 

Also as I had to move it accross the carpark to make use of the floodlight I've now driven a Jag

[phil_lihp]

As he'd had a few drinks, I got to drive my friend's Rover 75 2.5v6 a short distance tonight. Never been in one before, bit posh for me with lots of leather and electric seats, not sure the manual box was a good match for it though.

[dollywobbler]

Angry Dicky and his pals have been kind with the keys. In the past two days, I've driven an Anglia 105E for the first time (details on my Blog), Dicky's lovely Somerset (best column change ever!) and a Vauxhall Victor FE. Hoping to do a video on that last one. Footage shot, I've just got to find a way of editing it that doesn't require me to smash my laptop to pieces.

[AlabamaShrimp]

Watching top gear. My son says "why is one of then dressed as a lady?", he meant James may

[andy18s]

Mongs

Gotta love 'em

 

[purplebargeken]

Insurance renewal quote came through for the Amazon a couple of weeks ago. I of course ignored it until the last millisecond. Hundred and twenty something they quoted. I renewed it today. Turns out I was meant to have done that by the 3rd. Whoops. Result however as the new quote via different broker came out at 93 quid. Yay!

[philibusmo]

My latest shite collection begins tomorrow morning at about 8:30 - This is due to be an epic of at least 3 days.

 

@PMozzy on twitter for live updates or await for the full story to appear on Autoshite at some point in the future when I can be arsed writing it up.

[warren t claim]

[Cavcraft]

My latest shite collection begins tomorrow morning at about 8:30 - This is due to be an epic of at least 3 days.

 

@PMozzy on twitter for live updates or await for the full story to appear on Autoshite at some point in the future when I can be arsed writing it up.

 

3 days to get to Scotland back? #slippingclutch @T5 SVM SMV VPL?

[Richard]

I know what it is, it's been revealed on another thread.

[Cavcraft]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNaqRgGOuQQ

 

Must have legs of steel!

[DVee8]

Sitting in a car park waiting for Mrs V8,2 cars up is a Pt cruiser.Dad my 8 year old says is that the car you go in when you die? I hope not son,i hope not.

[vulgalour]

I'm impressed he didn't fall off that Chopper, it is a pushbike I never could master.

[richardmorris]

It's great seeing police cars on the motorway when you're in a 2CV. You can keep your foot to the floor in full knowledge that you can pass everyone who's just slammed their brakes on without being in much danger of exceeding 72mph.

[HillmanImp]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qNaqRgGOuQQ

 

Must have legs of steel!

 

He has my rezpct when he does it on a Grifter.