What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[cort16]

Tonight many teenage boys (and middle age men) will not sleep well as they will spend this evening priming controllers, putting thumbs in ice baths, positioning bean bags in front of TV's and coming up with excuses why they can't got to work as tomorrow Grand Theft Auto 5 comes out.

 

[darkfour]

Just been made aware of this Argentinian website via another forum detailing the Dodge 1500. I don't understand a word of what's written but there are some great period scans in the road tests section and some original ads too.

 

Here's one to be getting on with

 

[155V6]

Picked up a load of those 1:43 Commieshite models from the pound shop today.  Most of them are actually pretty well detailed, although the build quality seems to be fairly faithful to the originals - the white UAZ van broke a rear leaf spring as I was getting it out of the box, and two of the models have already lost wing mirrors.

 

There were two models I didn't manage to get - an early Moskvitch (the one which looks like a pre-war Opel), of which my mate who I was with bagged the last one before I spotted it, and a blue GAZelle van, of which the only example they had had lost a front wheel - I had a facelift GAZelle ambulance already so I wasn't too bothered.  I might go back at some point and see if I can pick up the ones I missed.

 

Here's a family photo:

 

There's also an orange snowplough version of the red 4x4 5th from the left in your picture.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

I often admire eBays sense of humour when it suggests other stuff you might be interested in when you do a search, such as one for MG6's:

 

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Here is my Grand Theft Auto 5 review.
 
(Unfortunately I have neither a copy of GTAV nor a console to play it on, so I have substituted Renault Trucks Truck Fuel Eco Driving, but they cover similar ground)
 
RTTFED is a game with a simple objective. You are tasked with driving a Renault truck (plus your choice of Semi Tautiner or Frigo trailer) through a variety of courses  while maximising fuel economy. While its story lacks some of the depth found in GTA's, it is in many ways superior for allowing you to imagine your own story. For instance, instead of boorishly flipping a Lamborghini off a bridge and shooting a hooker in the neck, I imagined I was delivering 40 tonnes of human hearts to a vital mass operation at the children's hospital. Now tell me the world wouldn't be a better place if RTTFED was selling as many copies as GTA. 

 

Perhaps it was misleading for me to use the phrase 'variety of courses', because all of the courses are essentially the same straight road through a town populated by one Renault Megane and one Kangoo. Out of town you'll enjoy the occasional stretch of 90kph road, but take care here; I failed a course after entering a 50 zone at 90 and in my panic I accidentally mashed the cruise control button instead of the brake. Punting the Megane the length of the town fails the course, and your until then excellent fuel economy is not taken into account. 

 

 
There are nine courses to complete. You will encounter goals such as anticipating traffic lights, braking uphill and stop signs. There is no explicit drug use in this game. Nor will you see any polygonal breasts in a strip club, although nothing is stopping you imagining your character indulging in these vices during load screens. 
 
The game ends without fanfare. After completing the final gruelling trip through the town, there is no acknowledgement of a job well done, the fuel economy you fought so hard to achieve goes unmentioned, and no-one tells you what happened to the 4,000,000 children's hearts (based on an average weight of 250g per heart). Were they all spoiled? Maybe I should have chosen the Frigo instead of the Tautliner. 

 

No, once the game is completed it simply dumps you back at the menu so you can continue driving the truck. Perhaps this is the most realistic aspect of the game.

 

 
VERDICT: 95% on the erratic CD Conelrad scale. Renault Trucks Truck Fuel Eco Driving is available for iOS and Android. It's free. 

[vulgalour]

Yet another reason to love the Aston Martin Lagonda, as if you needed one.

 

[chaseracer]

Got a job. The right one, which suits my "unique skillset".

 

Well chuffed.

 

[Pillock]

Visible rear lights when boot open - a feature tragically shared with the Insignia Estate

[Pillock]

My lovely lovely GF picked me up a copy of GTA V today.

Unfortunately, today I woke up with an eye the size of Bulgaria so took the day off work.

 

Ergo, I now feel I cannot play GTA V as it seems like I've pulled a sickie. Bugger.

[chaseracer]

 

Visible rear lights when boot open - a feature tragically shared with the Insignia Estate

...and the Wartburg 353 Tourist

 

 

[cort16]

I'm from Galashiels do find the fact they've included Hawick as a shit hole area in gta5 highly entertaining .

http://m.scotsman.com/news/odd/grand-theft-auto-v-hawick-fury-at-game-inclusion-1-3097263

[chaseracer]

They ALWAYS manage to find some idiot local politician to spout some bollocks!

[TimothyClaypole]

My van is now sold, advertised Friday, a few Mike Brewer chancers, will you take Ã‚£1700 mate, blah blah.  A guy from Oldham came back today with the cash having seen it was ok.

 

 

Top tip - don't take the keys the 35 miles to work with you when your dad is coming to house sit while said buyer comes to view your van... oops. 

[cobblers]

Finally got an MOT pass on the Daily Golf.

 

He asked which of the advisories I'd fixed, I told him I'd not done anything about the "rusty fuel lines" what with them being made of plastic. He was insistent I was talking bollocks until he went underneath to "point out the rusty bits" and it turned out he was looking at an exhaust hanger. Where do I find these people?

[chaseracer]

That's impressive knowledge of automotive architecture, right there... 

[Wilko220]

My first - and, if the wife is to be believed, last - child was born last night, so a big grin from me.

 

Sadly, I couldn't convince Mrs Wilko220 to go for any of the names in this excellent and fondly-remembered thread:

http://autoshite.com/topic/10168-baby-names-car-based/?hl=names

But obviously very chuffed nevertheless to have a lovely daughter.

 

See you all in about 18 years!

[autofive]

just watched brewer and china with a lambo

 

had a bet with SWMBO about how many times china would say "AWESOME"

 

she won

 

 

2.5K for a clutch

[Mr Livered]

Congratulations Wilko and Mrs Wilko

[beko1987]

My first - and, if the wife is to be believed, last - child was born last night, so a big grin from me.

 

Sadly, I couldn't convince Mrs Wilko220 to go for any of the names in this excellent and fondly-remembered thread:

http://autoshite.com/topic/10168-baby-names-car-based/?hl=names

But obviously very chuffed nevertheless to have a lovely daughter.

 

See you all in about 18 years!

Enjoy! Come over to the grump thread when your little sproglet keeps you up at night, makes your missus mental and you get driven insane by coming home from a busy day at work, to find the missus standing there ready to go out to 'get some fucking peace' leaving you with your daughter who cries whenever you leave the room to have a piss or get changed after work...

 

It can be lovely however. Mine knows when Minder is on by the theme tune and does the 'do do do do do dooooooo da da da dum' at the end of the credits.

[alf892]

Warm congrats to Team Wilko............and do not think your bit will be finished in 18 years............that is just when the job changes!

[cort16]

Congrats Wilko220

 

On the subject of clutches. The garage I rent my lockup from recently changed the clutch in an E46 320d and it was  £1000 in parts before labour because the DMF was also borked.

He had it back for 3 days before one of the injectors stopped working. I don't think he likes it very much right now.

[John F]

My first - and, if the wife is to be believed, last - child was born last night, so a big grin from me.

 

Sadly, I couldn't convince Mrs Wilko220 to go for any of the names in this excellent and fondly-remembered thread:

http://autoshite.com/topic/10168-baby-names-car-based/?hl=names

But obviously very chuffed nevertheless to have a lovely daughter.

 

See you all in about 18 years!

 

How about "Calibra"?

 

Lovely name for a girl...

 

(You could call her "Cally... the missus wouldn't know what it was short for )

[vulgalour]

Ahead of schedule by almost an entire week, the second Princess arrives tomorrow!  I am excited.

[cobblers]

You'll sort of nearly be living in a sort of gender reversed spin doctors song.

[Mr Livered]

How is it getting to you?

 

I'm off up the M5 and back tomorrow on a car collecting mission. It'd be great if I caught a glimpse of it en route to Vulgalour Towers.

[vulgalour]

It's been collected from it's Plymouth garage to be delivered to the yard in Plymouth belonging to the delivery company.  They'll then be route planning for tomorrow to bring it up to me to arrive some time in the early afternoon on a car trailer or a flatbed.  Apparently, it's about a 5 hour drive for the delivery man so I guess he'll be setting off at 9am or something.

[Mr Livered]

I'm actually quite excited for you on this one, Mr V. .I think it's because a young stylish fellow with two Austin Princesses is seriously cool.

[vulgalour]

It's true, I am seriously cool.  At least that's what my Mum says.  :B

[vulgalour]

You'll sort of nearly be living in a sort of gender reversed spin doctors song.

 

I had to Google this.  Yes, I suppose I will.  Sort of.  Maybe.

[Mr Livered]

It's true, I am seriously cool. At least that's what my Mum says. :B

Oh yeah. Let's give you credit where it's due. Some people seek coolness by getting a job and then buy (on finance) the most expensive new or nearly new car that their salary allows. A shiter will go with his heart, and just buy whatever gives him a hard-on. And let's face it, anyone who's worth knowing will get a much bigger and better erection at the sight of a driveway with two Princesses on it than one soulless diesel repmobile.