What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Junkman]

[DeeJay]

Widnes is the Mecca for lard haulers.

Walking through the town centre is like being on the starliner in WALL-E.

[KruJoe]

AS was down this morning (boo!) but Chrome suggested I visit this site instead:

 

[Ghosty]

Widnes? More like Wideness.

[Bobthebeard]

Two of 'em as it happens!

One for each bum cheek?

[Bobthebeard]

Seaside resorts seem to attract these things for some reason. I've no idea if you get them from the NHS now instead of self powered wheelchairs, but without wishing to sound discriminatory, I would honestly suggest a good 90%+ of people who use them seem to do so through laziness, obesity or probably dole cheating.

Obv. I don't know everyone's personal circumstances and I'm sure loads of people with genuine medical conditions use them. But also a lot of lazy, fat fuckers.

In Blackpool Tesco these are often to be seen humming up and down the store. Usually in the pie, white bread, pizza, sugary as fuck drinks, cheese, lard and snack sections... Basket on the front creaking under the strain of the haul.

May be a total coincidence of course, but the 'pilots' of these conveyances are often rather ample.

 

Edit.

These chariots being supplied by Tesco for 'in store use only' how do the folks using em get to the store and back home again? Suspect it's not by jogging.

[Pillock]

There was an older couple near where I used to live. He had a scooter, because he needed it after several knee ops.

She had a scooter because she whinged to the doctor that she could no longer walk fast enough to keep up with him and it was making her unhappy that they no longer went out together. Fully able bodied, but prefers the scooter.

[Bobthebeard]

There was an older couple near where I used to live. He had a scooter, because he needed it after several knee ops.

She had a scooter because she whinged to the doctor that she could no longer walk fast enough to keep up with him and it was making her unhappy that they no longer went out together. Fully able bodied, but prefers the scooter.

Perhaps fitting a sidecar to these things would help?

Not in traffic obviously, nor in Tesco...

But an unoccupied sidecar would be extra storage space for unhealthy food when out shopping FTW.

[chaseracer]

Maybe he was trying to get away from the old bat.

 

In other news - nice to see some old names back

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

One of my car's previous owners was fond of lazy and hamfisted maintenance. At least that's what I thought until I stumbled across this advert in a 1970s magazine. I understand now, he was only trying to help.

 

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

And here's something from a mid 1980s magazine which explains even more. He really did have the car's best interests at heart. 

 

[Angrydicky]

Fit new Cypriot housemate is making me grin. I'll have to ask her to get me some photos of knackered old Hillman Minxes and Standard Vanguard diesels next time she goes home

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Lets see a pic then

[Bobthebeard]

Fit new Cypriot housemate is making me Horny. ( I'll have to ask her to get me some photos of knackered old Hillman Minxes and Standard Vanguard diesels next time she goes home as a chat up line)

EFA

[Jim Bell]

Bewbs pls

[Angrydicky]

She has got cracking tits (and arse), but you'll just have to take my word for it as I can't think of a way to get a photo without her thinking I'm a fuggin rapist or summat.

[vulgalour]

Life's too short to worry about causing offence.  Just ask if you can take a picture, it's less creepy than trying to do it on the sly.  You never know, she might have a thing for guys with an Austin fetish in which case you're quids in.

[Bobthebeard]

She has got cracking tits (and arse), but you'll just have to take my word for it as I can't think of a way to get a photo without her thinking I'm a fuggin rapist or summat.

Excuse Phail!

You have a fleet of 1950's Austins after all.

Use your initiative man!

 

[Bobthebeard]

Life's too short to worry about causing offence. Just ask if you can take a picture, it's less creepy than trying to do it on the sly. You never know, she might have a thing for guys with an Austin fetish in which case you're quids in.

Asking if he can 'take a picture' is MUCH less likely to cause offence than, ' can I take pictures of your tits and arse and post them on Autoshite'

Possibly.

[Jim Bell]

.................. her thinking I'm a fuggin rapist or summat.

 

I can absolutely live with that.

[Bobthebeard]

Recently accepted a quote from Shiply to move a recently purchased shitter from North to South. The quote was fair, and better than hiring a trailer and all the hassle of doing it myself.

Got in touch with the man, explained that the car would not be available for collection until mid October and he replied. "No problem, give me a date in October when you are ready and I will collect."

Replied accordingly with some dates.

Then:

Email on Saturday night.

"Hi, it's John. I will be leaving first thing tomorrow morning to collect your car. I will keep you informed, but should be dropping it off around 7pm.

FFS!

Much frantic ringing and emailing managed to stop him setting off but WTF?

Once of a day such antics would have made me fume.

Made me grin.. Eventually!

[Rusty Pelican]

This made me laugh , I think the cars a Capri , if so feckin useless as a Taxi 

 

[cobblers]

Mk3 cortina isn't it? (0:23)

[mattblack]

The Cortina doing what it was made for 30 years on made me grin today...

 

[darkfour]

Spotted this today in a car park in Daytona. Mrs DF and the kiddos were wondering what I was up to while I snapped this. I couldn't get any closer as those bumpers were strictly enforcing a no-entry policy.

 

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Love those girders! I bought a box of slides a few years ago which had some period pics of one:

 

 

[warren t claim]

Feeling shitty and down so to cheer myself up I'm looking at cutomer reviews on CARCRAFT. A fool and their money are soon parted....

[brickwall]

^ lol I do that too.  On a differnet note by dog knocked a hoody type kid who I had seen spitting and chucking litter of his bicycle yesterday.  She was chasing another dog and they collided with him sending him flying...he started crying.

[warren t claim]

 

I part exchanged my Corsa for a Peugot 307 Yesterday and foolishly never went in to it with my eyes open, the screen price was showing as £7910 which I straight away said no way i would be looking around £5500, off went John the salesman for the 5th or 6th time and someone called Jay cam back with figures saying we could get the car for £5500 to do this we would give him the Corsa for £400, it all seemed ok until I got home looked at the figures and realised that the finance was costing more than the car so instead of 44.9% it works out to over 100%, i phoned the garage and spoke to Jay and told him I was returning the car to which he said I couldn,t even though I had only had it an hour, I am now seething and so I planning to turn up at ACF and let other customers know what is going on I wil also consult a solicitor as the figures are so off the mark they must of been calculated by a child, The finance has not actually gone through yet as I have not proved to them I have insurance on the car and they have not seen my wage slip which I now refuse to send them as they want me to fax it in the morning, I wonder where I stand that this finance is not yet active and I wish to cancell it before it starts

Here's a typical ACF Car Credit customer.

[warren t claim]

FOOKING HELL!

 

 

Please could somebody help, as I really dont know where to turn

Of course its yet again WELCOME Finance and the bully BOYS.

I purchased a car on Hire Purchase from Car Craft in August 2007, I paid a £1000 deposit, and the car itself was £6000, the total value of the agreement a shocking £14809.00 I have maintained all regular payments of £310.41 per month since then to the end of Jan 2009.

My employment ended and I have no further funds to pay for the car, I am aware that I have payment protection but the Guy told me that is for redundancy only. but I have to telephone the insurance on Monday.

I recieved a letter from Welcome saying I has missed one payment, I came home and found that the Bully Boys had somehow entered my place of residence how I dont know and let a letter on my front door, asking me to contact them, the letter is dated 26/03/09.

This morning I am scared as I have had banging and banging on my front door, to the point, of where I am so frightened I may have to call the police.

I telephoned WELCOME asked who these guys were he said they were from the collection department, they will hang around and not leave till they take the car away, .The car is parked on a private driveway.

I have missed 1 payment, but the 2nd is going to be missed shortly.

I do believe they need a court order now? as I have paid a 1/3 of the amount.