What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[paulplom]

Not gonna bother. If he'd offered a grand I might have been tempted.

[xtriple]

Bought stuff from Opie oils the other night, delivered today. One day in effect, impressive.

[barefoot]

Some years ago, an elderly distant relative was ripped off by a local bloke masquerading as a 'lay preacher'.

I had to become involved, I contacted the police & the church, chap was discredited and moved on. I've been making old folk aware of his game ever since. He & his wife have always pcp'd their cars and run them on a couple of cheap private plates. Since the church actually took him on as a lay preacher and threw him out shortly afterwards, he's been pretending to be a roofer & a builder in a Mazda pick up & then a Transit. She's been doing cut price dog walking in a Mitsubishi SUV. Much to my amusement it appears that they've finally run out of equity with their latest brace of cars. She had a new Mazda 6, which suddenly became his after a numberplate swap, and bugger me, she's now in a ten year old Freelander with 100,000 miles.

Starve at Christmas you crooked pair of fuckers!

[Tadhg Tiogar]

1 hour ago, barefoot said:

Some years ago, an elderly distant relative was ripped off by a local bloke masquerading as a 'lay preacher'....

This is more common than we think, and it particularly affects the African and AfroCaribbean community who follow what might be called "charismatic Christianity", generally the energetic efforts of a "pastor" (who happens to be the head of the church) or a small number of such pastors.

Money donated to the Church tends to end up funding the pastor's lifestyle. See recent scandal involving SPACNation, for example. 

[somewhatfoolish]

Organised religion is the original long con; see the Mormons for details.

[loserone]

Quote

The Mormons are from Mars Dad, we've had it checked out

- Jeezy Chreezy

[vulgalour]

Might have cured the BX's reluctance to start by simply replacing two hoses.  It started so easily today it caught me off guard.

[dozeydustman]

Went to change air filter in the SooZooKey of much smollness, it appears to be very very new.

Oil on dipstick very golden coloured as well.

That’s one job saved til after xmas. Supposed to be nice on saturday, so I’ll do the brakes and possibly the CV joint.

So this afternoon I did some gardening instead.

[iainrcz]

Bought a fairly expensive new three piece suit.
I look like a cunt in a suit, but like wearing them.

Sent from my VFD 710 using Tapatalk

[Aston Martin]

OK, who was it?

 

 

[somewhatfoolish]

If those 'tonne' bags actually have a tonne in each no wonder it gave up.

[vulgalour]

Accidental clickage of the subtitles button on a Bus Grease Monkey vid got me this gem.  It's not even close to what they were saying.  Also, every time the bus made jangling rattling old empty bus noises it was captioned [Music] and I'm not going to dispute that at all.

[Wack]

6 hours ago, Aston Martin said:

OK, who was it?

 

 

I've driven dropside pickups for 30 years , if the moron had put the front bags behind the rear bags he's still have been 3x overweight but his truck wouldn't be snapped in half.

I know a guy that always insisted the load was against the bulkhead to stop it moving , until vosa stopped him and his front axle was 2x overloaded , can't remember what the fine was but it was a lot.

[paulplom]

I got done in a transit on the m6 when I was working in Birmingham about 20 years ago. I got fined £1 per kilo over. £540 iirc.

A transit can carry surprisingly little (1.1 ton). Loaded up with tool, pipe and ladders etc. I would say I'm overloaded all the time.

[twosmoke300]

My old sprinter mobile Workshop was right on the limit all the time . My weight prob put it over the edge- quiet at the back 

[Aston Martin]

From the comments he'd already delivered 3...

[Aston Martin]

Panpan Tangerine insurance was gonna be £278

Panpan 4x4 was gonna be £268 because of NCD.

Or £546 the pair.

 

I rang because Hastings have a multicar policy... £439 for the pair. I think it was £419, but they nobbed me £20 because im adding a car. ? 

But I'm happy.

[Jamie]

Just trading the wifes tt in I bought her about a month ago because she's moaning it's Shit on fuel so getting her a Honda civic diesel. 

This civic vti in the main dealer show room is the grin tho shame its wearing landsails all round 

 

[Kiltox]

5 minutes ago, jamiechod said:

Just trading the wifes tt in I bought her about a month ago because she's moaning it's Shit on fuel so getting her a Honda civic diesel. 

This civic vti in the main dealer show room is the grin tho shame its wearing landsails all round 

 

Wonder if it had badly perished old tyres on when they acquired it and they just chucked a set of budgets on given its not going anywhere in a hurry!

Looks amazing. 

[Jamie]

2 minutes ago, Kiltox said:

Wonder if it had badly perished old tyres on when they acquired it and they just chucked a set of budgets on given its not going anywhere in a hurry!

Looks amazing. 

Yea probably. Its done 88k but looks like it's done about 8

[Kiltox]

Phwoaaar, minty. 

[Heidel_Kakao]

Treated myself and got this bad boy today, driving it home marked the first time I have ever had a Lego set inside my car that actually cost more than the car itself

[robinmasters]

Nearly time to finish work on a Friday night, and I notice how much a transit van's window line looks like a bottle opener. 

[gm]

8 hours ago, jamiechod said:

Just trading the wifes tt in I bought her about a month ago because she's moaning it's Shit on fuel so getting her a Honda civic diesel. 

This civic vti in the main dealer show room is the grin tho shame its wearing landsails all round 

 

my first car was a civic, I loved that little car

did the blue one have a price on it ? 

 

[Wack]

I thought this was a joke but it's an actual thing , no fucking about in the snow hitting the starter with a hammer for today's kids

PCP on a new audi and computer games instead 

[robinmasters]

1 hour ago, Wack said:

I thought this was a joke but it's an actual thing , no fucking about in the snow hitting the starter with a hammer for today's kids

PCP on a new audi and computer games instead 

 

I did search for this image as a 'humorous' response to the above post.

However, I'd not noticed before, the engine is probably totally fucked as a result of the massive torque exerted upon it by being started by that tank battery. 

* and obviously the massive starter which would draw that torque. Apologies in advance to anyone who actually knows about this stuff-I don't. 

[Jamie]

2 hours ago, gm said:

my first car was a civic, I loved that little car

did the blue one have a price on it ? 

 

No I think its just for display to show how hondas used to have some credibility 20 years ago 

[Andyrew]

One of the girls at work comes in a does a Christmas window in the shop. My kind of crimbo decoration this. 

 

[DeeJay]

They're not selling the blue Civic, it's been re-tyred.

 

 

 

(I'll get my coat, (again)).

[Tadhg Tiogar]

13 hours ago, jamiechod said:

No I think its just for display to show how hondas used to have some credibility 20 years ago 

Local Crown Honda in Colindale have had a 1985 Prelude on display for ages, or at least until recently....