The new news 24 thread

[Ghosty]

Old Man wants a set of Bini wheels for his Civic as they're 15" and fit...

[fordperv]

Got a phone call from my neighbour she was in a flap, "my car is revving on its own and it stinks" she was half a mile away from home and pulled up, i opened the bonnet and could smell clutch, fired the car up its ticking over normal, a bit confused i went to put it in reverse to drive it and oh dear where's the bite point, i asked her how it was revving on its own she said "i was driving and the revs just shot up quick when I was accelerating, it was at 6000 revs in 4th when I was doing 25 all the way home" i laughed and told her she's finished off her slipping clutch so it'll need a new one

[richardmorris]

There really does need to be some sort of mechanical know- how taught as part of the driving licence test. I'm useless at fixing things, but can diagnose a slipping clutch no problem.

[barrett]

Look, a massive pile of shit! Just in front of that heap of manure, on the back of the truck.

 

Took the 404 to ruddy Norfolk to try and get the fuel system sorted out. I sense a large bill heading my way in the not too distant future. If all goes according to plan, we hope to have this and the Panhard on the road and reliable for summer. Can't bloody wait.

[cobblers]

I got my nan a Ka to replace her fiesta. I  A framed it back from Leeds, put a heater valve in it, full service etc etc. I spent days welding sills on it for an MOT. Took it for MOT, it passed, and drove fine.

 

On her first journey out she set off up a hill in third and just slipped the clutch til there was plumes of smoke and it woudln't move anymore. You could start it in gear.

I weighed it in and for some reason gave her the money?

[fordperv]

There really does need to be some sort of mechanical know- how taught as part of the driving licence test. I'm useless at fixing things, but can diagnose a slipping clutch no problem.

Exactly, her reasoning was "it felt like it was low on power so I revved it more to make it move"

[RobT]

Once driven, forever smitten.

 

 

Apart from when it decided to cut out on me several times in Brighton's rush hour traffic. The idle is a bit wavy too so I'm hoping a clean of the ICV and breather wotsits will cure the problem. Is a facelift badermatic 2.0 8v CD, so almost my perfect Cavalier. It tooled along barely stressed at a steady 80 on the A/M23, and some strong cross-winds didn't affect it much either. As usual the rear arches are hideous, but I don't care as these things are bloody GR9 otherwise.

[Lord Sterling]

Today has been much of the same as yesterday, drove loads of things but nowt fiercely interesting, monouvred a BENTley Continental on shit tyres, briefley cruised in some Audi Q7 Diesel, moved a Nissan 350Z around and drove loads of very shitly maintained Pugs, KAs and Corsas, oldest car I drove was Mahmoud's Y-reg Toyota Landcruiser.

 

Merc has actually been started on today, they found the chewed viscous fan bolt and and a new one has been ordered. They'll also probably find the tensioner bolt has been skewered no doubt. Mahmoud sorted me out a car to get home, we picked up a Mk3 Mondeo Diesel which I took home and need to take in tomorrow morning so at least I've got wheels.

 

Oh, and it looks as if I've lost my wallet

[vulgalour]

CND:  Wheels look perfect on the front, but too far out on the back because of the lack of dish and/or wheel width.  I reckon if you take the spacers off the back it'll look just right.  Actually, I think it might just be that it sits about 1" high all round that's throwing me.  Maybe just leave it alone after all.  Proper, proper wheel porn that, got a lot of time for how you've got the GTE right now.

[Jazoli]

In a somwhat convoluted deal with a mate yesterday, I joined the hallowed ranks of the Autoshite Perodua Owners Club when I became the owner of this beauty.

 

DSC_0160a.JPG

 

It's a Kenari GX which his Mrs has owned for about the last five years - it was owned from new by an old biddy prior to that. It's done about 110K miles which is probably quite high for one of these, but it seems happy enough. Mate's boy is a mechanic so it had a cambelt last year and has been well looked after, mechanically at least - the bodywork has a few issues, mainly grot on the rear arches and a dent on the front passenger door. It's got electric windows and sunroof, and central locking (which closes the roof automatically but not the windows, weirdly).

 

It's an odd little thing to drive. It's quite nippy, being powered by a copy of the 989cc triple from the Sirion, with a 5-speed manual 'box. It's surprisingly high geared for a small engine - 60 in 5th is just under 3,000 revs - and I think motorway inclines may need 4th gear, if I'm ever brave enough to take it on the motorway. Handling is "interesting", and gets rather wallowy if pushed too hard, but then it was never meant as a B-road blaster. The steering is very low geared for a PAS system but the turning circle is superb. The sideways-opening tailgate is useful and to my surprise I've managed to shoehorn my pushbike in there - so I'll be driving it to work tomorrow. Could be interesting in a 50mph crosswind...

I'm sure i saw this on one of the local FB pages, its proper grim

[dollywobbler]

What is the ride like Wuv? Sirion and Nippa are pretty bloody awful.

[STUNO]

Say what you like about april fools and BMW dealers. Paper this morning had a small ad supposedly by a BMW dealer. first person to come in with this ad, their old car and ask for Tom wins a new BMW. 1 person did because April 1st. Everyone else said a version oh hahah. The dealer said he played dumb for a while then let her in on the secret. She went home with a new 1 series !

[STUNO]

Today has been much of the same as yesterday, Oh, and it looks as if I've lost my wallet

 

There are times when the like button is just wrong..I hope all is well now.

[rml2345]

^ Seconded. Hope your situation improves soon Mo.

As if yesterday's Carisma excitement wasn't enough, I bought this at the local scrappy;

 

 

Somewhere along the way a previous owner has dispensed with it, probably to make maintenance easier so I'm pretty chuffed to have made it slightly more difficult again.

[trigger]

Today is the day that all pre-1975 cars become tax exempt so I've just been down the post office with my V5 for the Mk3, She scanned the barcode, confirmed it was classed as historic now, filled in the taxation change part in section 7, i signed it and she sent it back to the DVLA, It's no tax free, yay!

[nacho man]

I keep seeing a mint zs190 blasting round the estate at work and it's sounds the dogs.

[Bucketeer]

I posted/sent this whilst a little intoxicated in Jan 2014. I heard nothing back from Big Vlad . . . . . . . . .

 

 

I spotted this picture of Russian head honcho Vladimir Putin with his gorgeous Zaz 968.

 

 

This picture, and several early afternoon ciders, persuaded me to send the chap in question an e-mail.

I got a little bit paranoid as I was writing it, so I decided not to name Autoshite, but the cider decided that I should provide all my own details.

After sending the e-mail, I noticed this slightly worrying text on the webpage.

Quote

 

Personal data of those sending letters by e-mail is stored and processed in accordance with the provisions of Russia’s law on personal data.

 

Anyway, the e-mail has been sent and I am awaiting a reply.

Here is what I sent him.

 

Dear Mr Pootin,
I have just been perusing the internet and stumbled across a picture of you with your Zaz 968. May I commend you on your motoring tastes and offer you the honour of joining our online motoring community.
You would be required to denounce your completely bonkers homophobic views and embrace the ALLMODERNZRSHIT philosophy but trust me, reading epic* chod collection threads, laughing at misguided Ebay vendors and getting aroused by rust is much more fun than invading Chechnya or wrestling bears.
I also imagine you could provide a pretty good spotted thread, or get one of your minions to do it for you.
Do not hesitate to contact me for any further information, but no KGB death squads please.

Yours expectantly,

Alex.

 

 

Sometimes, just sometimes, I regret drinking booze.

 

. . . . . . . . until today.

I received a completely blank e-mail from the kremlin address. No text nor nuffink. Should I be worried? Is he finally ready to join AS or have I been targeted for an unfortunate umbrella-tipped end?

If I get assassinated any time soon I'll let you know.

[skattrd]

....

I received a completely blank e-mail from the kremlin address. No text nor nuffink. Should I be worried? Is he finally ready to join AS or have I been targeted for an unfortunate umbrella-tipped end?

If I get assassinated any time soon I'll let you know.

Print out the blank email then squeeze lemon juice on it, there may be hidden text

[dollywobbler]

Took my friends sight-seeing. Came upon this shite-filled scene of loveliness.

[HillmanImp]

My god, there are some pretty nice cars you can get for under a grand these days. 

 

Other than rusty rear arches which I don't care about what do I need to look out for on Mazda 6's? I will probably end up with a Focus but these are sodding tempting at £6-800 for a 54 plate on about 100k. 

[brickwall]

Today was a good day. I found a wallet.

[cort1977]

I posted/sent this whilst a little intoxicated in Jan 2014. I heard nothing back from Big Vlad . . . . . . . . .

 

 

. . . . . . . . until today.

I received a completely blank e-mail from the kremlin address. No text nor nuffink. Should I be worried? Is he finally ready to join AS or have I been targeted for an unfortunate umbrella-tipped end?

If I get assassinated any time soon I'll let you know.

I think the re-branded KGB have now moved on from umbrellas and it's cups of tea during meetings with Russians you have to watch out for now.   You should probably buy a trenchcoat and read some old LeCarre novels to brush up on your tradecraft.   As a bonus, Smiley apparently drives a 'miserable English car'.

 

Alternatively, Vlad has dug his Niva out of the shed and is preparing for a Bollox style restoration thread.

 

[cms206]

My god, there are some pretty nice cars you can get for under a grand these days.

 

Other than rusty rear arches which I don't care about what do I need to look out for on Mazda 6's? I will probably end up with a Focus but these are sodding tempting at £6-800 for a 54 plate on about 100k.

My mate works in a breakers. Last I spoke to him he had seven or eight Mazda 6s in, all completely rotten underneath; inner sills killed most apparantly. Mazda 3s are no better.

[MrDuke]

 

 

Camo paint. In high gloss.

 

[Vladimir Putin]

I posted/sent this whilst a little intoxicated in Jan 2014. I heard nothing back from Big Vlad . . . . . . . . .

 

 

 

I spotted this picture of Russian head honcho Vladimir Putin with his gorgeous Zaz 968.

 

 

 

This picture, and several early afternoon ciders, persuaded me to send the chap in question an e-mail.

I got a little bit paranoid as I was writing it, so I decided not to name Autoshite, but the cider decided that I should provide all my own details.

After sending the e-mail, I noticed this slightly worrying text on the webpage.

Quote

 

Personal data of those sending letters by e-mail is stored and processed in accordance with the provisions of Russia’s law on personal data.

 

Anyway, the e-mail has been sent and I am awaiting a reply.

Here is what I sent him.

 

Dear Mr Pootin,

I have just been perusing the internet and stumbled across a picture of you with your Zaz 968. May I commend you on your motoring tastes and offer you the honour of joining our online motoring community.

You would be required to denounce your completely bonkers homophobic views and embrace the ALLMODERNZRSHIT philosophy but trust me, reading epic* chod collection threads, laughing at misguided Ebay vendors and getting aroused by rust is much more fun than invading Chechnya or wrestling bears.

I also imagine you could provide a pretty good spotted thread, or get one of your minions to do it for you.

Do not hesitate to contact me for any further information, but no KGB death squads please.

Yours expectantly,

Alex.

 

 

Sometimes, just sometimes, I regret drinking booze.

 

. . . . . . . . until today.

I received a completely blank e-mail from the kremlin address. No text nor nuffink. Should I be worried? Is he finally ready to join AS or have I been targeted for an unfortunate umbrella-tipped end?

If I get assassinated any time soon I'll let you know.

 

Greetings to Autoshite community

 

I am long time lurker on here but no post because Very Busy at work.

 

Happy you like my Zaz 968.  It is real honey and definitely Shite not Shit, extra much in Beige color.

 

Haha KGB - KGB not exist now, death squads only to spies and ebay morongs.  Russia force for good in World, not like greedy Western rip you off companies like Ebay, Google and Rimmer Bros.

 

 

PS Very little fun invade Chechnya.  Invade Ukraine, more better.

[Vladimir Putin]

Camo paint. In high gloss.

 

 

Happy you like.  High gloss better.  Russia people like shiny.

[Bren]

Just put a deposit down on a new daily.

 

Pick it up a week on Saturday as I need to get shut of the vectra - on ebay this weekend.

 

Cue stampede of mouthbreathers....

[Lord Sterling]

There are times when the like button is just wrong..I hope all is well now.

^ Seconded. Hope your situation improves soon Mo.

Cheers lads, I went to Mahmouds garage again today to return the borrowed Mk3 Mondeo, I stepped into waiting room and perched on top of a cushion was my wallet, so that was good!

 

Oldest car I drove was a H-reg Mini, grear fun! I loved the old A-series whine when pulling away Still got the Mondeo today, hopefully my Merc will be sorted tomorrow.

[RayMK]

Camo paint. In high gloss.

 

Well spotted.  I thought they were reflections.

[wuvvum]

dollywobbler, on 01 Apr 2015 - 07:29 AM, said:

What is the ride like Wuv? Sirion and Nippa are pretty bloody awful.

I haven't found it to be too bad - but then if your alternative modes of transport are a 2CV and an XM your standards may be higher than mine...