The new news 24 thread

[Lacquer Peel]

 

Brake imbalance, exhaust leak and anti roll bar link - not too horrific. SCRAP IT.

[RobT]

I 'won' this today, collecting it tomorrow. It's a 1.2 Shwing and if nothing else it's an excuse for a day out.

 

 

I've spent all week bidding on various tat and not winning anything, so I switched strategy to shit Vauxhalls and bingo! I almost bid on an a Vectra SRi instead, but I'm not that desperate.

[Bren]

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Seems to be going well. Was no seal at all on the sump, have removed it, cleaned it, stuck the new stuff on and refitted it just tight enough to squeeze the sealant out slightly.

Got the oil level sensor to seal as I think that was dripping slightly, and the filter to change them I'll put it together, pack up.and tighten it up tomorrow when its set.

You did this at the road side - you will be considered in the autoshite new year honours list.

[tooSavvy]

Bren...

 

I did a SAAB9kLPT head in the street outside my terraced flat. On my own (and without any 'M8s R8s') hiring a local Matiz rattler to do shuffle service to the head refurber....

 

Fired straight up >> totally WIN

 

 

TS

[beko1987]

You did this at the road side - you will be considered in the autoshite new year honours list.

I can't do it in our parking space cos its on a slope and I didn't fancy it slipping whilst on the stands, and the car park behind is a mud pit and the jack would have sunk. Only had to bring my feet under 3 times...

 

Was like an oily river afterwards when it rained!

[drum]

The wife's alfa is going in for an mot on Monday. The handbrake is poor again which turned out to be a sticking lever on the calliper again.

There's also an intermittent fault with one of the brake lights which can be fixed with a thump to the lens. Typical alfa electrics. It did it last mot too and I spent hours trying to fix without success.

[M'coli]

Oh, FFS, just get a lump of 6'x6"x2", cut it in half, plonk a notch 2 inches from one end to hook into the second top rung of the ramp and drive onto it - I'll hoik them out tomorrow and show you what I mean.

[drum]

Lol, don't worry. I know what you mean. I prefer doing it this way. The blocks inside the ramps are because I'm paranoid. One day I'll be arsed to beef them up with some angle iron.

 

I normally use the ramps off my plant trailer but it's not here at the moment.

[myglaren]

Well I dunno because I had never heard of Stockton-on-Tees, so I looked it up. Seems that this town was the birthplace of the friction match - which proves that it's the sort of place where anything is possible.

Hah!  I had always thought that it was Ivar Kreuger that had invented the friction match - how wrong can you be

 

He certainly introduced some friction though!

[cms206]

My mate Steven didn't wake up today. Known him since preschool. He only turned 29 on Thursday past. Just went to sleep and that was that.

 

Gutted isn't the word. R.I.P. big chap.

[saucedoctor]

That's dreadful. Sad news, CMS.

[RobT]

Very sorry to hear that Andy, losing a friend so young really hurts, happened to me a few years back so I know how it feels.

[trigger]

That's sad mate. Really sorry to hear that.

[EssDeeWon]

Blimey that is shocking and so so sad, 29 really is no age.

[Craig the Princess]

Sorry to hear that, really sad news.

[cms206]

Cheers guys... His kids are only 2 and 3, more or less the age we were when we met. Had to stop on the M6 'cos the tears were too much to drive through. 18 months older than me.

 

I know it happens to the best of us but death is shit.

[myglaren]

We never know who he is going to be next, small child, my mother, my mother's carer, or me (although he struggles with deep bass voices).

On one occasion he asked one of my wife's friends (in the voice of my mother's carer) "do you want the toilet?" which caused much embarrassment and hilarity.

It's a bit like taking your small child to the doctor's. You never know what they are going to say when they have got an audience in the waiting room.

My dad had an Assam Hill Mynah like that.   "Vera Lynn" was who it shouted for most and did an excellent telephone bell imitation - anyone's guess where that came from as we didn't have a 'phone.

 

When it went on a rant we had to move to another room as you couldn't hear yourself think for it.

[mat_the_cat]

Shit, 29 is so young Were there no signs at all? Sorry to hear about it.

[Skizzer]

That's awful Andy, really sorry to hear.

[dieselassist]

my condolences cms206 RIP your mate - my brother passed away in 2002 @ 22 years of age - he woke up and got up, but had a seizure in our kitchen about 10 mins later ;  27th decemeber - RIP - was devastating at the time; hard to make of sense of n can be very hard to deal with; I lost it for a bit, but eventually pulled myself together as I realised he wouldn't have wanted me to self destruct like I was doing .... the good folk 'stay with you' whether they are still here or have passed on, if they are 'any good', as a wise aul codger relative said me me a few months after my bro's passing... ...didn't know what he meant at the time, but theres a lotta truth in it...

[greengartside]

Goodness me, that's around my age - so sorry to hear of your friend cms206. Makes you realise how precious life is and how much we should embrace it.

[myglaren]

Very sorry to hear of your friend's early death cms

 

Im thinking a simple oil change might do it some good; brother looked at it (he has decent mechanical knowledge but shys away away from getting too involved these days) - said it sounded very very tappety ' like a 1970's menopausal 140wpm typist woman whos lunchtime coffee had been spiked with speed)...er, typing, before the engine started to knock n jiggle about like a washingmachine with the concrete brick removed, drowning out the tappet/speed-typing sound...

 

My previous C5 had these symptoms and after much investigating and fitting a new DMF and clutch it turned out to be a dud injector.

 

The electric wonkiness is almost certainly due to low voltages - they are hypersensitive.

Giving the battery a full charge - assuming the battery isn't kippered - will restore normal service but be aware of the 'procedure' - it can be shortcut but there is always a risk it won't work - don't ask how I know this

 

The Procedure!

[320touring]

Sorry to hear that cms

[beko1987]

Shit that's 2 years older than me. Deepest condolances

[Cavcraft]

So sorry to hear that, Andy.

[cobblers]

Very sorry to hear of your friend's early death cms

 

 

My previous C5 had these symptoms and after much investigating and fitting a new DMF and clutch it turned out to be a dud injector.

 

The electric wonkiness is almost certainly due to low voltages - they are hypersensitive.

Giving the battery a full charge - assuming the battery isn't kippered - will restore normal service but be aware of the 'procedure' - it can be shortcut but there is always a risk it won't work - don't ask how I know this

 

The Procedure!

 

 

Fuckin ell I remember changing a battery on a C5 when I worked at Halfords about 8 years ago when it was a relatively new car. The fucker wouldn't start, the windows wouldn't work etc etc. I was at a bit of a loss really, so while clutching at straws I took the positive lead off and shorted it to ground for a minute, and when I plugged it back on it was all sorted.

 

Only then did the owner tell me about the last time a garage took the battery off while fitting his towbar, and the fucking thing had to be recovered to Citroen on a low loader where it spent three days and cost the original garage about £400 in "diagnostics". CHEERS 4 THE WARNING MATE!

[M'coli]

Sorry to hear that, Andy.

[Inspector Morose]

Sorry to hear the news, Andy. Things like that sideswipe your head without warning and really make you think about life. 29 is no age.

[M'coli]

Righto, onto the ramps we go...

 

Here are the lumps of wid, diagonally cut to provide a small rampette:

 

These are the notches at the other end:

 

 

Then these are placed on the second-last rung of the ramps:

 

 

...and so it begins!

 

[Craig the Princess]

After telling me by text the windscreen had smashed and letting me stew for an hour actually the Saab's rear screen is in and seems to be water-tight.