HMC- Return of the Cheeky 500

[HMC]

8 minutes ago, Zelandeth said:

Hopefully something simple.  I don't think I've ever touched the ignition side of things on one of these so haven't a clue if they run points and condenser...if so could be as daft as dirty points or a stuffed condenser. 

I'd far rather be trying to diagnose a non start on one of these than a Jag or the same era!

They have an electronic module In the distributor. There’s a spark to the plugs.

[83C]

Mulsanne Turbos are blow-through carb too, so even less to really go wrong. If there’s spark, are the plugs wet? 

[mat_the_cat]

3 hours ago, HMC said:

There’s a spark to the plugs.

Is there a spark whilst under compression though? Try clipping a timing light pickup to a HT lead, as this will show you if the current is finding an easier path than jumping the gap in the cylinder.

[wuvvum]

It might have decided to play up out of respect for the Royal Phantom VI and its dodgy offside headlight...

[richardmorris]

7 minutes ago, wuvvum said:

It might have decided to play up out of respect for the Royal Phantom VI and its dodgy offside headlight...

I thought it had a lamp out, but then it was ok in the head on shot.

[wuvvum]

Just now, richardmorris said:

I thought it had a lamp out, but then it was ok in the head on shot.

It came on just after the car pulled away.

[richardmorris]

Just now, wuvvum said:

It came on just after the car pulled away.

I wasn’t imagining it then!

[HMC]

So with the mulsanne turbo in disgrace I was down to the tt as the only car. Actually it was brilliant but it was not great even for kids in the back. I’m on a self enforced 2 car limit. In the end I used this as an excuse to replace it with a way more “practical” daily. I breifly considered a Maserati qp but a cheap one of those is probably a stylish way to get very poor. Plus there seem to be no specialists for those anywhere remotely near to me.

In the end I decided rather than a cheap ish, expensive, pretty car, get a cheap, ugly one instead. Ugly and sinister looking in black with dents. I’m not sure what the design team were into in the late 90s but it must have been good.

E65 730d

 

[83C]

The first example of the sort of nonsense BMW let themselves in for when they appointed the Star Bangled Spanner to head up the design team. I’d suggest the design team were actually taking something very nasty, they saved the good stuff for the Quandt family to get them so hopelessly fucked up that they would sign off a car that looked like a reject from the Ssangyong Design Studio. 

Some of the Bangle designs actually aged quite well. This one hasn’t. Mind you, the best part about driving an E65 is that you don’t have to look at the outside of it. At least yours is the slightly facelifted version, it’s not as likely to give your children nightmares from looking at the front end…

[HMC]

I can’t believe the rear 3/4 view, it almost looks like the boot isnt closed properly. Dogs breakfast. It does drive and steer really nicely. I didn’t like the look of the dash and controls but it’s very impressive. The centre glovebox has aircon too, perfect for some chilled refreshments.

[HMC]

Also- Shockingly I have looked and looked and nobody has attached a fake m sport/ m power  badge to it. I did an initial search expecting to have to remove at least a few.

[wuvvum]

Ooh, nice!  I've had my eye on one of those for a while.  Facelift definitely better looking than the early cars.

[gadgetgricey]

Just watched the latest M539 restorations vid on an Alpine E65. (Love his videos)

He upgraded /fixed the sound system by sending Amps off to someone. Result was best sound system he's ever heard.

I hated the Bangle cars for a long time, but now quite like them. Especially the Z4.

[Nullzwei]

When you look back at BMW's from the 1960's & 70's you can see where Bangle got his ideas from.

NK & 02 series for example...

 

[Cookiesouwest]

He's done it again.

Frankly I'm upset with myself that I was surprised.

Well done, well bought, all the other usual things people will say.

How about taking a break for a month, to give the rest of AS a chance? No one can keep up with you.

Next time you walk past a phone box, resist the temptation to rush into it, to put on your AS cape and AS pants over your jeans, then fly off to nail another amazing car

[stuboy]

21 minutes ago, Cookiesouwest said:

Next time you walk past a phone box, resist the temptation to rush into it, to put on your AS cape and AS pants over your jeans, then fly off to nail another amazing car

 

[Ian_Fearn]

When I drove down to Morocco back in 2020, the paperwork required to bring a vehicle into the country was errrr ‘serious stuff’.

You got a stamp in your passport such that you were under no illusion that you WILL take the vehicle when YOU leave. I’ve seen vanlifers have to get their worthless broken vehicles shipped out at silly costs in order to be legit.

I therefore did not see an abundance of UK plated cars in Morocco (like you do in Spain after some Benidorm or Bust rally) with the exception of a single black UK rhd E65 730d dumped at the side of the road, tyres flat and looking as absolutely f**ked as any car ever could. Perhaps had been there a year or two making me think it was worth trying to escape the country in order to get away away from an E65.

Congratulations on your purchase 😉100% would.

[83C]

1 hour ago, Nullzwei said:

When you look back at BMW's from the 1960's & 70's you can see where Bangle got his ideas from.

NK & 02 series for example...

 

They were lovely. If Bangle used them as inspiration rather than watching a welly get melted whilst tripping on acid, then we might have got some instant design classics, rather than a few that have eventually improved with age like the Z4 and E60/61/63. M-sport only though in the case of the 5, the SE models were and still are gopping. That front bumper ruined it all.

 

[High Jetter]

The 2002 & 635 were the best looking beemers.

[Nullzwei]

11 hours ago, 83C said:

They were lovely. If Bangle used them as inspiration rather than watching a welly get melted whilst tripping on acid, then we might have got some instant design classics, rather than a few that have eventually improved with age like the Z4 and E60/61/63. M-sport only though in the case of the 5, the SE models were and still are gopping. That front bumper ruined it all.

 

While i agree as a whole the Bangle era BMW's are not pretty cars they do have some nods to BMW design of old, and i do not mean just the hoffmeister kink. Thinning convex shaped panels and Ill fitting bootlids with big panel gaps were also a feature of the NK and 02 series cars. If you take the rubber seal off an 02's bootlid there is a good inch of play such is the gap from the factory. Maybe in a world not obsessed with safety legislation the shark nose front end of BMW's old would have continued and his designs been more coherent.

 

[Schaefft]

I like the E65... Bangle thought that bmw was at risk of becoming too evolutionary with it's design, and therefore blending in too much, offering little new, something that very much was the case for the next generation F01 7-Series where BMW clearly played things extra safe.

The post-modernist approach of the E65 might be divisive, but it was unmistakable and bang on in trend at the time (almost the entire lineup of Renault and Nissan adapted the idea, plus countless more cars), and happened to sell brilliantly. I still consider a pre-facelift 745i once in a while, and then remember why I don't want to expose myself to the reliability nightmare of this generation bmw V8...

[cort16]

Nice one I loved my 7 series even though it was the newer one . Auto doc is your friend for parts not that you’ll need any obviously.

[HMC]

I thought the dechromed thing was a Poundland aerosol special but decoding the vin says it was a factory   “Shadow line” option.

[JJ0063]

I may well be wrong but I don’t think those kidney grills are factory. On other models the shadow line pack still has a chrome outer trim around the grills. 

[HMC]

Probably- it’s got the look of Poundland- and the grilles are Matt rather than gloss.

[Schaefft]

Chromeline in the E65 is mainly the trim around the windows and painted trim on the bumpers. Everything else is typical council housing styling attempts. I'm surprised I'm not seeing a m-badge glued on somewhere. I'd revert all of that asap to get back to the original look that's a little more classy.

[Kiltox]

I really want to try one of these to see how it compares to the A8.  Always been more of a BMW wanker than an Audi one.

[riek]

21 hours ago, gadgetgricey said:

Just watched the latest M539 restorations vid on an Alpine E65. (Love his videos)

This is not a series of videos that'll encourage anyone to buy an E65. 

[HMC]

Doug De Muro on the e65. 

[HMC]

Sad news for the Bentley. It’s a bit of a heap. An opportunity if you feel brave. Panhard65 is kindly handling the sale if you fancy it

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/225175407681?hash=item346d800c41:g:hTAAAOSw7s5jLZsU&amdata=enc%3AAQAHAAAAoHzdLllDKbs3jHYsfgaR2puvBxebMbI2r04cRCZ515Px4C9jR9JubjdvkIDDI%2BR3Jfs0CjzMXuWGK%2FWgIHppRYWQUA6aBHUsaJbCB3URV9f3dmkkmis%2B2l5%2FnJ9xP7izG1w3ciruNe0wFKH9eGbsc8jISbO%2FB1uOSx0QN%2BbNLiBlR5m4vTnLJE0PU4G7QOvtPurPavPnvpSQgPJxSFA7orc%3D|tkp%3ABk9SR8aw7bDtYA