Valuable splitter, car irrelevant. 1999 Renault Laguna V6 24V

[dugong]

For some reason, I thought a free Renault Laguna V6 24v would be a good idea.
 
Manual 24v Monacos are thin on the ground these days - I imagine most were scrapped in despair. 
Independently verified* statistics from 'How Many, Right' reckon there's fewer than 20 on the road - although there could have been a few registered ten seconds ago and a horse could have shat in the computer at Swansea.
 
In no way was my new purchase in Haverfordwest; Captain Slow later remembered this was not in Cambridgeshire.
The drive somehow took six hours. Our vendor was away but had left me the remote control garage key in his shed. Something of a magical mystery tour, what? The house was massive and we arrived at 1 am. After about five minutes of trudging round I found what I was looking for (after getting it confused with a giant fire lighter):





God knows what the neighbours thought when a Seat Leon roared up the drive and a fat Northerner started pacing around the house.

I mashed the remote with a sweaty digit. It felt like an appallingly low quality Grand Theft Auto side mission had begun.





The car fired up straight away. Promisingly for a car with a dying head gasket, the heater was set to 'nuclear furnace', farting out Troy Queef levels of roasting hot air.



Helpfully, the electric seat was jammed into a position set for a long-legged child. I'm roughly 5ft 10" and while my head was almost on the roof lining, my feet barely touched the pedals. Just what you need with a 290 mile drive on a school night. The seller didn't mention that one.

Things went quite well for the first 10 miles or so. The engine rumbled nicely and sat around a quarter of a way up the gauge. It felt far more supple than my Leon despite a worrying tendency to twitch violently whenever I changed gear - a knackered bush or engine mount, perhaps?

Overtaking a lorry on the A40 left a cloud of smoke under acceleration; kettle death was imminent. The dashboard erupted in warning lights and I limped into a closed service station:



Sorry Claire - I blew it up.





The coolant bottle was empty and what water was left had vomited out of the void previously occupied by the front bank's head gasket. The rest farted out in a cloud of steam over the nearside wing. The fan cut in and stayed on while I got on the phone to the RAC.



CS surveyed the wreckage and agreed the car wasn't going to make it home under its own steam (chortle). Finding out both your personal RAC and employer's AA cover were only good for a ten mile stretch isn't the news you want to hear when you're a long way from home. Luckily, CS had an excellent AA assistance package with his Guild of Motoring Writers' membership.

With the Laguna strapped on to a low-loader, we high tailed it back England in the Leon, swapping seats at Leominster services.

A day later, the car landed on Captain Slow's drive. I still haven't seen it in the daylight.

From what little paperwork I found inside, it's had four previous owners and a punt up the arse at some point. Have a picture of the interior - I had no idea there was a desert in Pembrokeshire:



Full leather, voice synthesis and a completely dead Philips Carminat navigation system. The head unit appears to work (although the display wasn't interested).
The tailgate struts are weak and it appears to have been recorded as a Cat C in a previous life - at least according to the dual language Welsh MoT.



Do you like pointless Halfords giffer badging? I do.*



24 valves and 3.0-litres make this an L7X engine - a development of the PSA ES9. Clio V6s got this motor albeit with spicier camshafts and better engine management (vomiting coolant not pictured) and the Venturi Atlantique added a pair of turbos.



Another pictures of the bilious grey leather interior to finish off your early evening ablutions.

I'm currently pricing up a pair of reconditioned heads from a specialists and finding someone tolerant \ tapped enough to take it on as long term fix-up project. I've always had a soft spot for Laguna Mk1s; people nevertheless think I've been 'done' despite the car costing nothing.

I mean - a 202k, Cat C 24V V6 French barge. QUALITY, eh?

[Slartibartfast]

It's hideous. Well done.

[Lacquer Peel]

V6 manual, WEAPON.

Does it owe anything to the PRV apart from being a V6?

 

I forgot all about the valuable* splitter, nearly every Max Power feature car had one fitted.

[dugong]

V6 manual, WEAPON.

Does it owe anything to the PRV apart from being a V6?

 

Er....bottom end probably. I bought the sodding thing sight unseen. 

 

The cubic capacity is the same as the ZPJ 12 valve in my 605. 

 

It's still technically a PRV even though Peugeot had moved on to the ES9 by then and Volvo 'double teamed' its replacement of the PRV with the B52xx five-pots (850) and the Porsche-developed B6304 six in the 960.  ~

 

*edit - it's not a PRV, tar pshome. 

[dugong]

It's green, by the way. 

[pshome]

na.. thats a 60° L7X , based on the PSA ES engine. No relationship with 90° PRV. Early Laguna had the Z7X which is a late PRV version.

[dugong]

na.. thats a 60° L7X , based on the PSA ES engine. No relationship with 90° PRV. Early Laguna had the Z7X which is a late PRV version.

 

Balls, I stand corrected. I told you I knew fark all about it - although the badge reckons it has 272bhp. 

[Bren]

Knowing the price of french parts I dread to think how much the bits will cost for the engine.

 

You can only ask.

[skattrd]

Nice to see some different French stuff around.

Are you sure it'll need replacement heads? It might get by with just a replacement gasket or a light skim.

[scaryoldcortina]

Hey, not fair! I was collecting free Lagunas and breaking down before it was cool! Damn hipsters.

 

 

What's the huge box bolted under the glovebox?

[strangeangel]

Good luck with that.

[Inspector Morose]

I must admit, your recent chod buying choices are rather appealing. I must be on the turn.

[Aston Martin]

Another free car?

[406V6]

Sorry to see a V6 expire with steam. Laguna curse strikes again (even though it's not a Laguna II).

 

If you need V6 bits you might be able to get them from Ade Bingham, a professional car breaker and member of the 406 Coupe forum who specialises in breaking 406 coupes, many of which have the Peugeot flavour of your V6.

[dugong]

Hey, not fair! I was collecting free Lagunas and breaking down before it was cool! Damn hipsters.

 

 

What's the huge box bolted under the glovebox?

 

I'm a proper bleedin' hipster, me. Look at my stylish* haircut! Hear my clipped diction! 

It's for the Carminat navigation system IIRC. 

 

I need to go and look at this in daylight, don't I? 

 

Nice to see some different French stuff around.

Are you sure it'll need replacement heads? It might get by with just a replacement gasket or a light skim.

 

I've been told doing any work on the engine is a horrible job - so I don't want to have to have it done again. I'd rather be certain than risk a warped head going back on. I'll pay for it to be sorted once and once only. 

[Cavcraft]

LAGUNIA MAFIA.

 

Well 'bought' I bet the head gasket will be fun to do though, but will look forward to hearing about it.

[Parky]

I look forward to hearing about the low cost, straightforward and easy repair utilising commonly found parts on the shelf of any half decent spares shop. However the opposite might apply.

 

it worth investigating engine removal methods because this might not be too bad a job with the motor out?

[320touring]

Is that the facelift version iof the engine? ISTR that they were non interference?

 

good luck wiht it!

[dugong]

I look forward to hearing about the low cost, straightforward and easy repair utilising commonly found parts on the shelf of any half decent spares shop. However the opposite might apply.

 

it worth investigating engine removal methods because this might not be too bad a job with the motor out?

 

God help that car if I end up having to do the work in the Kelsey workshop. An engine out job isn't the daftest idea, mind. 

[Dave_Q]

According to the ever accurate HML, this is one of only 17 remaining Laguina Monaco V6s.

 

Yes folks, that's not a typo, it really says Laguina.

 

https://www.howmanyleft.co.uk/vehicle/renault_laguina_monaco_v6

 

Edited to add: I've just noticed you've already mentioned this PHAKT in your OP, so everyone feel free to disregard this post.

[scaryoldcortina]

^ and I noticed the misprint a month ago

 

[Lord Sterling]

Excelsior purchase Du_g.

 

What are the plans for it? Who owns it anyway? You or Captn' Sloow?

[HMC]

Lovely! I never knew these existed ( until very recently)

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Sorry to see a V6 expire with steam. Laguna curse strikes again (even though it's not a Laguna II).

 

 

 

As The Jackons once sang about Lagunaz:

 

"1-2-3....... not worth 50p

 

Those Lagunas see, they show me,

 

Just how bad French cars can be"

[nigel bickle]

I'd call that one a step too far, for you Jon. Least ways it isn't rusty...is it?

 

No amend that to a hoofing great, gas propelled leap too far.....

 

Nice try though. Bummer it blew

[barrett]

I don't really 'get it', but fair play if you're going to try and get it sorted. I do like the look of these, mainly because green tinted windscreen, and I bet a more-cylindered version is nice and wafty. I'd be interested to know what it's actually like to live with if it every gets sorted

[Pillock]

Laguna engines cost just under 25p per cylinder, you'll be fine.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

Spending money? A bottle of steel seal for 22 quid sounds a better plan to be frank*

[dugong]

Spending money? A bottle of steel seal for 22 quid sounds a better plan to be frank*

See, I wouldn't spend £22 on an Insignia, cos they're effing foul - like a half-arsed A6 thrown together by Hyundai's worst engineers after a shocking night on the lash.

 

Everyone's different, innit.

 

Steel / K seal might be a goer to help it move around, defo.

 

Excelsior purchase Du_g.

 

What are the plans for it? Who owns it anyway? You or Captn' Sloow?

It's mine, Mo.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Nice! I learnt to drive in my dad's Monaco (two litre, alas). Having built in sat nav in 1998 was rather impressive, and for a couple of years my dad was the only one in his office whose car had this. I know he enjoyed that.

 

Here's a photo of it (on Polaroid, verified 90s).