Autoshite confessional booth

[primeradoner]

I started a weldathon on my Volvo Amazon today.

I hope to have it finished on 30th April 2016 to pick a date entirely at random.

[doobietoo]

I have so many of these.... but this one has always stuck in my mind.... and conscience ... I bought a Zephyr 4 from a lovely old couple and blew it up on the way home ..... so I bought a Zodiac 6 as an engine donor and knocked the bottom end out on the way home too both along the same stretch of Farnborough dual-carriageway (past the tumbledown dick if you are interested) .... so I put some gearbox oil in them and swapped them for a really nice Granada owned by a banger racer mate..... neither got past the second lap....

[Taff]

All these confessions regarding cannibalising and bridging cars has made me wrack my memory for a list:

1x Capri 3000 GXL- Reason : headlights.

1x Rover 3.0 ( 1 owner, 18,000 miles) Reason : to use seats as a 3 piece suite.

3x Corsair 2000e Reason gearboxes and diffs.

3x Rover P6 Reason: 2 of them to put 4 front seats in my mk2 Cortina. 1 for engine swap into Escort( never finished)

8x 2.0 Mk3 Cortinas Reason: engines. Into Escorts and one into a 1600 GT facelift Capri( see also GXL headlights)

5 or 6 Mk4 Zephyrs and Zodiacs Reason: Various bits to keep my Executive on the road- usually Borg poxy Warner 35 autoshatics- could and did swap at the side of the road!

1x Renault 5 Monaco Reason : interior and wheels for daughters Campus- OMG I've started another generation on wasting cars.

 

That's a great list, I especially like the V8 escort that killed two cars and yet was never finished.

[155V6]

I have so many of these.... but this one has always stuck in my mind.... and conscience ... I bought a Zephyr 4 from a lovely old couple and blew it up on the way home ..... so I bought a Zodiac 6 as an engine donor and knocked the bottom end out on the way home too both along the same stretch of Farnborough dual-carriageway (past the tumbledown dick if you are interested) .... so I put some gearbox oil in them and swapped them for a really nice Granada owned by a banger racer mate..... neither got past the second lap....

Have you been that way recently?,it's a McDonalds now 

[Jerzy Woking]

A mateput his girlfriends lovely Peugeot 104 on my drive as it needed a new ignition switch (it ran if you bump started it). Six months later it was still there despite frequent requests to get it done and move it. So I towed it to a layby and left it there with the keys in the (useless) ignition. It was there for weeks without being stripped or torched before it was presumably removed by the council.

[doobietoo]

Have you been that way recently?,it's a McDonalds now 

 

I know.. wrong just wrong...

[For Fiats Sake]

I really wanted a particular model of Fiat Panda, I found one but it was in London, on SORN and no MOT for a year.

I took the number plates off a taxed, tested and insured model - I owned btw - put them in my bag and headed to the big smoke.

It looked in a right sorry state so after changing the plates, driving it through a car wash and filling it with fresh pez I started on the journey home.

Despite a satnav on my phone I make James May's navigational skillz look like those of a homing pigeon and promptly drove through the center of town getting caught on the congestion zone cameras.

I arrived home logged onto transport for london paid the charge and waited for someone to notice the twin sunroofs that had grown on my car overnight.

 

Happy ending though this:

 

became this

[Justin Case]

I once bought a brand new Citroen on HP.

[Des]

I scrapped a P reg TR7, early one with a chassis number of 14 or something like that, was pretty fucked but I still feel guilt.

[stripped fred]

I must admit I quite like vauxhall's...

[vulgalour]

I want the Princess finished.  I don't want to do the work.

[LabRat]

I swapped an immaculate Saab 9000 for a council estate spec Toyota Hilux Surf with rusty chrome

 

It was a 2.4 diesel with 3 speed badermatic and an electronic turbo set up...

 

Which was fubar'd, along with the 4 wheel drive.

 

It went up in flames 3 weeks later when I attempted to start it.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[cros]

Lucky you mentioned that, theres half a costa cup of piss wedged against my Seddon's tool box from when I got stuck in a queue on the A14. In August.

Update- My lorry has had the piss taken out of it.

[drum]

1. I practically gave away two series land rover projects.

 

2. I was a passenger in a metro that was in a police chase through the streets of Reading while being driven by Peter Stringfellow's son in law.

 

And worst of all

 

3. I would drive an Audi with a private plate.

[Timewaster]

Toyota Hilux Surf with rusty chrome

It went up in flames.

For this, your sins are forgiven.

[fordperv]

When moving house years back in order to move my 3 door mk1 sierra, I may have purchased a taxed and m.o.t'd 3 door Mk1 that was for sale local and the number plates may have found their way onto the 3 door which had no m.o.t or tax and I may have had a fun time driving to my new house.

[rml2345]

I think the Ssangyong Rodius looks quite good.

[TataBobu]

I quite like the looks of Ssangyong Musso.

[Junkman]

I recently (ok last couple of years) bridged one of the last RHD Renault 14's. Strangly enough it doesn't keep me awake at night the rotten old pear deserved it. The plus point is I managd to piss off a few people by doing it. I have also bridged a pair of Matra Simca Bagheera's one was very restorable but I just got sick of the sight of them. I did feel slightly guilty about that one though.

 

You have saved so much chod from certain death, that dominus noster Jesus Christus te absolvat, et ego auctoritate ipsius te absolvo ab omni vinculo excommunicationis

et interdicti in quantum possum et tu indiges. Deinde, ego te absolvo a peccatis tuis in nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti.

 

Amen.

 

Still can't quite forgive you putting those Samurai wheels on the Fregate, though...

[Slartibartfast]

I once spent TWO WHOLE DAYS trying to get my metro engined mini to start and run properly,

 

TWO WHOLE DAYS!!

 

The missus went at it for 10 minutes and had it running perfect!!

 

TEN MINUTES!

 You loosened it, obvs. It's like gherkin jars.

[philibusmo]

I ended up working for a man who can only accurately be described as a galloping thunder cunt. He fired me for something that wasnt my fault with no warning and at a really bad time for me, he then attempted to extort money from me.

 

I knew that he kept his car unlocked at night and drives with the windows down. I may have slightly taken a massive piss in his windscreen washer bottle.

[Junkman]

Basically there's a longer pivot on the door side so that when the seat back is pulled forwards the door side travels further and so it seems to pivot and allow an easier access. A very neat idea, and I don't know why Mercedes didn't take it up- would make it easier and more dignified for my parents exiting the merc.

 

This is common practice in American 2-door cars from the 1940s onwards.

 

1957 Chrysler randomly chosen for illustration:

[anonymous user]

I started a weldathon on my Volvo Amazon today.

I hope to have it finished on 30th April 2016 to pick a date entirely at random.

Not sure what your Mrs will think about you picking up a random date, but, ask Taff for some tips on how Tinder works

[panhard65]

 

You have saved so much chod from certain death, that dominus noster Jesus Christus te absolvat, et ego auctoritate ipsius te absolvo ab omni vinculo excommunicationis

et interdicti in quantum possum et tu indiges. Deinde, ego te absolvo a peccatis tuis in nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti.

 

Amen.

 

Still can't quite forgive you putting those Samurai wheels on the Fregate, though...

In my defense with the Suzuki wheels on the Fregate they were fitted to save the original metric size tyres. The skinny little 400's are only available from michellin and mega bucks each if you can find them. The car did have a decent set but they were wearing very rapidly on the edges if you drove it hard. (don't forget it was a diesel as well ! so needed to be driven hard to get it to move) It now belongs to Jaguar heritage I believe so may even of been converted back to a petrol as I supplied all the bits when I sold it.

[Junkman]

I know, those old French metrics are a veritable merde.

15" replacements are readily available for the Tractions and DSes. One wonders why it is so difficult to get them for other models.

[flat4alfa]

I scrapped a two-door Fiat Mirafiori that still had its factory sills

[oldcars]

My Shuma is worth between £0.00 and £200 but i have spent £££ on it keeping it on the road.

[cros]

I should've added to my piss bottle extravaganza.

The logistics of getting chappy out of pants out of view of traffic next to the car and aimed into a bottle is very difficult. Your sat back in a seat, and your chappy is halfway in your body. The fold of you pants under the zip makes a 'hill' for chappy to navigate, this means the bottle is nearly horizontal. It's horrid, I don't recommend the piss bottle technique to anyone. Yo gonna get piss on yo pants.

Also, if you wee into a bottle without any space for the air to escape, your foreskin balloons up with air.

 A gentleman's conveyance should permit him to relieve himself man-stylee. The Seddon Mark V's designer had this is hand long ago, as did their drivers, by virtue of folding seat cleverness beyond that of any volvo. There were few other concessions to comfort mind.

[fordperv]

My Shuma is worth between £0.00 and £200 but i have spent £££ on it keeping it on the road.

I think a high percentage of people on here are guilty of spending more than a cars worth to keep it right and improving it, don't feel so bad

[oldcars]

I think a high percentage of people on here are guilty of spending more than a cars worth to keep it right and improving it, don't feel so bad

In an odd way i'm a bit proud of it. It was my grandfathers, the only new car he ever had and he loved it.