Odd reasons for a crash?

[omegod]

A mate of mine got severely rear ended at the weekend...not like that!  ... the old chap who hit him said he had sneezed....his dentures flew out....he tried to catch them and then, when he realised he was severely in the shit, stamped on the accelerator instead of the brake. I was near dying when he told me the story   

 

Any odd ones from fellow shiters?

 

 

One I did when much younger was spotting a very delicious ex of mine who happened to be getting into my old driving instructors car for a lesson, I was so distracted by getting a good eyeful of her that I promptly rammed my Montego into the rear of a Fiesta, bouncing it a few feet into the air in full view of them both....not cool at all really, especially as my current bird was in my passenger seat and knew exactly what had happened  

[xtriple]

Once had to do a VERY emergency stop when I was ogling a beautiful girl in a bikini on Torquay seafront. Chap sat next to me didn't notice that all the traffic had ground to a halt either!   She was very nice...

 

Binned a Kawasaki Z1000 when I target fixated on my mate who was himself having a wonderful time crashing and the chap behind me did the same! All three of us missed the ditch and slid gracefully across the 6 foot wide bridge that was the only escape from a wide and deep drainage ditch. All three bikes also sailed across!

 

Once crashed a Z650 through a neighbours fence when I was sodding about and forgot the front brake lever was still laying on the floor...

 

Once crashed a Honda CBX 1000 'cos I was trying to tie my tie (I was jeweller

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[Bren]

I used to know a guy who rolled his sierra.

 

Rumours were flying that he was having J Arthur Rank when he crashed.

[flat4alfa]

Once crashed a Honda CBX 1000 'cos I was trying to tie my tie (I was jeweller)

 

[xtriple]

Don't know what happened to the above post as it was unfinished....

 

Crashed my CBX 1000 'cos I was tying my tie (Jeweller, wore a suit and posh shoes and stuff) and crashed with a police car right behind me! They helped me pick it up (fucking heavy old thing!) kick it straight and sent me on my way.

[Bobthebeard]

The nice lady who ran into the back of my (then) Honda Accord was in a courtesy car as hers was in for accident repair. ( Ran into the back of another car a week earlier).

Her reason was that her usual car was automatic, the hire car was manual and she forgot to press the clutch pedal! Fair enough... Bet her insurance premiums went up a bit though.

[gordonbennet]

SWMBO was at a fun day with her daughter's work, just before she was due to leave she got stung by something big and nasty, she didn't realise quite the effect it had on her till she was driving my old Landcruiser home, ended up with her foot jammed down on the throttle and under the brake pedal, took a set of railings including concrete block base out at about 50mph, stuck it in reverse and got back out, luckily the front bumper (that and the rather sturdy bull bar) had taken the whole force but had bent round and punctured a front tyre or i reckon she'd have tried to drive it home.

She wasn't hurt apart from her pride, thankfully she was in the old bus and not her Punto or things might have been different, it was one of those prangs where no crumple zone and battering ram technique worked for the best.

 

NFU wrote the vehicle off anyway due to scrapes to the axles underneath from the blocks however they paid me out A1 retail due to its pre accident condition which was near enough perfect, i got a call several months later from a chap in Bradford who had bought the vehicle as is, he couldn't believe how sweet the engine and mechanicals were, he was even more pleased to find i'd had it since about 40k miles and it had an oil change every 3k miles since then, i parcelled up the spare keys for him and he sent me £25 towards the genuine Toyota workshop manual (made a Haynes look like a handbook) i sent on too..glad the old girl lived to fight another day.

[purplebargeken]

I bought a brand new Mk2 Fiesta Pop Plus (in black) in 1984. A few weeks later whilst driving in St. Helens town centre (down a side road) a lad in an Acclaim was in front of me. he spotted a female friend on the drivers side of the road and started to chat with her whilst stopped. No bother I thought as she was nice looking. He then put the Acclaim into reverse and started to keep pace with her. I sounded the horn but he just kept going. I couldn't move as there were cars behind me. Smack. 

 

He did my bumper and a spotlight. He had no damage. Dealt with via the insurance. No hassle but it could have been awkward if he said that I had driven into him. 

[DVee8]

Couple of years ago we were sitting in traffic on the stopped M5 at Bristol when a Renault Megane floppy top went into the back of us, his front bumper stuck on my tow bar. They were having a huge domestic and this did not help any at all,he then had to get his bumper from my tow bar ,i was driving a 4x4 at the time,nice hole in the bumper and grill.

[Tamworthbay]

I binned an rd350 after adding a bottle of glow fuel to the nearly empty tank. It took off like nothing I ever been on. The bike was knackered anyway so no major problem. In those days you could get a ratty 350 for about £50. I must have killed a few in my time.

[Cavcraft]

I crashed my 100E Anglia into a Chevanne once. It wasn't a German car, but I am a wanker.

[lisbon_road]

My wife doesn't need odd reasons for crashes.  

[twosmoke300]

A mate of mine got gently rear ended by an escort van ( he was on a Suzuki a100) in stives on a hot summers day . Can't think why the driver might have been distracted 😄. No damage done and knowing grins exchanged

[tooSavvy]

Lack of Attention... boring, but true.

 

I was approaching that low bridge, into the Metro Centre where the Fed used to be. Keeping a sharp eye out in case something large came round the blind bend... the guy in front saw it - slammed on - I slammed on - guy behind me ploughed straight into my Skoda 130.

 

Engine still running... MASSIVE crease at the rear wing/door shut.

 

My 'chrome tip' was wedged in his grille.....

 

Had witness further back so car was cash without any hassles.

 

 

K..N..O..B, so there

 

 

TS

[catsinthewelder]

I spent a week driving my VW T2 and a HiJet then rammed a wall with a 405 after forgetting about bonnets. The pretty Chillian lass I was giving a lift to obviously didn't influence my attention in any way

[scaryoldcortina]

I managed to reverse a MZ250 into a fiesta once.

 

I was waiting at a set of lights, the bike spluttered a few times at idle and tried to stall (not entirely unusual, tbh) so I blipped the throttle a few times and it seemed to be ok until the lights changed. I dabbed first, gave it a handful and let the clutch out. I shot backwards into the bumper of the car behind and fell off the back of the bike onto the bonnet giving the screen a good hiding with the back of my helmet. The woman driving the car was absolutely convinced she'd hit me, so I agreed not to call the police, said I was fine and got on the bike and left as quickly as I could.

 

While investigating the rough running later I discovered that the huge points gap and iffy condenser meant that the timing was floating around TDC and it was possible for the engine to run backwards because piston ported 2-stroke.

[D Spares & Tyres]

Aged around 18 I picked my sister up from work where she was waiting with her workmates on the edge of a large gravel area

 

I drifted it out of there but overdid it and hit a flowerbed that was around 3 bricks high.

 

Knocked a few bricks out with the Capri sill but worse than that the car wheel now had no traction as it was dangling so had to enlist the help of everyone watching to push me off

 

What a pratt

[EssDeeWon]

When: Summer 1988

Car: Rover 2600 (SD1)

Where: Gt Wakering

On Board: Me and my dad

Reason: Escort van pulled out, dad could of stopped but decided not to. Got the rotten Rover written off and twice back what he paid for it. He said it was scrap anyway 

[Louise2cv]

Not sure I should admit to these...

 

First ever driving lesson I drove out of my parents drive at about 0.00002mph and then just kept on going "round the corner" and drove smack into the front of their house. No idea why.

 

Drove into a wall in Bangor because I was looking at a 2cv.

 

Near miss: drove most the way home from the petrol station up the road on the wrong side of the road. I had no idea I'd gone wrong at first and then I had an internal discussion with myself about was I/wasn't I. Then I asked my passenger "am i on the wrong side?" He calmly said yeah. This is when I finally thought there might be something in the idea of "pregnancy brain"!

[mercrocker]

 

Drove into a wall in Bangor because I was looking at a 2cv.

 

 

 

If ever there is an Autoshite CD that has to be the opening track....

[Angrydicky]

Drove into a wall in Bangor because I was looking at a 2cv.

Reminds me of the time I very nearly ploughed the Merc Sprinter I was driving into the back of a queue of stationary traffic because I was oggling a Sherpa camper (Leyland Autosleeper) on a driveway. Just about managed to stop in time, but it was close and the lady driving the car in front of me wasn't too happy!

[nebuchenezer]

Stuffed my Lada up the jacksy of a brand new jeep 4x4 because he had better brakes than me and I (knob) was tailgaiting him trying to read what the model name was.

 

Damage to Lada minimal, damage to Jeep minimal but eyewateringly expensive due to it being the demonstrator etc...

[Felly Magic]

I was merrily plodding about in service, driving a volvo Olympian double decker, stopped at a bus stop, and whilst loading I heard a loud scraping and felt the bus shudder, a white van man was ogling the advert on the back for Triumph lingerie and caught the rear corner of the bus. Photo of said bus & advert!

 

[Christine]

I'm probably the best driver on this forum,   yet this morning i pulled onto a roundabout in front of a car already on the roundabout ...    Fuck knows why... We both did emergency stops and me dog hit the windscreen and was a bit pissed off .. no impact  fortunately ,for me 

[anonymous user]

mine is an odd one in that I initially couldn't work out what was going on. I got into my parked Volvo 240 estate, started it up and was pulling out away from the kerb. I could hear a horrible graunching noise from the rear, so stopped and got out to have a look. What I hadn't realised was the car that had parked behind was right up the back of the Volvo, his numberplate and bumper were overhanging my towball and as I pulled away and started up the camber of the road it had hooked his car and was trying to drag it along by the numberplate. I kindly trod on the towbar and pushed the numberplate back into shape before leaving.

 

On a previous occasion I'd parked my old Cambridge at the side of the road in Chippenham and as I was locking the car it moved forward to the accompanying crunching and tinkling from the rear. I looked to see that someone (who was trying to cut down the inside of the stationary traffic) had driven into the back. Fortunately my towbar saved the day and I checked they were ok before wandering off to do my shopping leaving them to pick up the remains of their bumper and grille.

[xtriple]

Bugger off Christine, I'm the best driver on this forum and so is my dog! Proven by the fact I just did exactly the same as you about thirty minutes ago - turbo power to the rescue 

[gordonbennet]

I'd forgot about this one, i'm in an empty car transporter some where round the black country, just rolling up to a roundabout in the traffic felt a slight nudge, poor sod in a nice wedge Rover 400 had rolled into the back of the deck neatly piercing both is headlights and grill, obviously no damage to lorry.

Felt gutted for the bloke, just a normal working bloke like any of us, he was worried there'd be a claim coming, not a chance says i, thanks mate i'll get some used lights and she'll be alright again, exchanged details just in case and drove off.

Mentioned it to me boss just to cover me arse, money grabbing twat who wanted me to fill an accident report in so could send an estimate, for what?, cunt, which i promptly forgot all about.

 

Another time, still on the transporters, i'm parked outside a rental office somewhere down Southwark way in that there London, probably drinking tea and leching at the girls till they sorted me transfer load out, come out to the lorry and its got a broken reflector, bloody weird, then i saw the shrapnel wing lights bits of bumper and gawd knows what else strewn up the street where some buggers hit it demolished their car and somehow buggered off...how do you not see a parked car transporter in broad daylight.

Bloody old MTL body that was constructed entirely of RSJ's one of which he hit.

 

Another time a really nice lass from Newcastle ran into the back of the same bloody lorry on Drayton roundabout nr Heathrow, upon hearing her lovely accent i mentioned what the heck are you doing down here in this cess pit love, answer ''don't ask'' followed by mutterings about him and his bloody job, bet whoever 'he' was got an ear ole bending when she got home.

[mat_the_cat]

Hardly a crash, but slightly amusing - at least with hindsight. My FIL pulled up in the yard in his Omega, and upon turning the engine off there was an unusual noise. I asked whether he'd heard it but he hadn't whilst sitting inside. He'd got out by this point, so I offered to start it and turn off again for him, at the same moment leaning in through the open window and turning the key.

 

Not realising the handbrake was not working very well, so he'd left it in gear...

 

Annoyingly the engine caught, so he was treated to the sight of me running after the car followed by the car trundling away with my legs dangling out of the window. Managed to knock it out of gear (didn't think to just turn the key) but not quickly enough to prevent the destruction of a planter and  minor bumper scuff as it came to rest against a wall.

 

Worst damage to the car was the rear brake backplates, which were torn and twisted from the handbrake mechanism trying to resist the turning of the driveshafts. I did feel rather sheepish!

[catsinthewelder]

That reminds me of a daft moped moment.

 

I used to keep it in my dads shed and to get there I had to go across the lawn. As it was winter I tried not to head across the grass too often as it was getting muddy so at 10pm one night I realised that I wouldn't be out again so might as well put it away.

 

Being an idle teen I started it up but the throttle cable had frozen so I still had to push it. But by the time I got to the shed it had defrosted which I found when putting it on the centre stand when it fired off out of my hands and demolished the strawberry netting and a few parts of itself.

[mitsisigma01]

Back in the early 80s , my parents treated themselves to a long weekend in Jersey , Friday morning ,I "borrowed" my dads car from his locked garage to go and surprise my bird who worked 60 miles away . Got nearly there , single track road , middle of nowhere , blind brow of a slight hill , damp road , autumn , leaves all over the road , 10 mph max .....

SMACK ! steam everywhere , extracted my chin off the steering wheel , climbed out to see who I had crashed into ... GUESS WHO ?

Only my bird . She was coming down to visit me .... 1 fucked Avenger recently restored birthday present from her dad to my bird and me in my old mans pride and joy Cortina Mk3 , 1600xl in Stardust silver ....had to tow her back to work then search every breakers in 30 mile radius , no stardust silver osf wing anywhere ! Got a red one ! Headlight indicator , bumper , grill eventually , then sandpaper , rattle cans of primer and fkin stardust silver . Time now , Saturday night ... 19 years old , never worked on a car before let alone done any bodywork ! Location , communal sitting room of my birds place of work ... red paint dust filled the air followed by primer and fumes , many hours later followed by fkin stardust silver and lacquer , in between coats outside in pitch black pouring rain , torch between teeth dismantling wrecked bits with hastily acquired replacements ... finished fitting at 14.00 Sunday afternoon , cleaned up the sitting room , headed off on journey to home relieved that I thought I had done a good job ....

Few miles into journey , fuel light comes on , no worries I thought , fuel up , easy . NOT , no fuel cap key ..... broke off fuel cap , put in enough fuel so that he wouldn't need to refuel for a few days , sort out fuel cap and key later , got it home , sneaked in under cover of darkness from nosey neighbours .

Had a sleepless night again , went out in the morning for a last check .... noticed I hadn't put the two black pinstripes on !!!! Too late now , they were home within the hour ! Crapping myself , you bet I was . Changed the fuel cap and his key the following day ... still waiting for the shit to hit the fan .... Nothing .... everytime he went out in the car I was dreading his return . Still nothing !!! Then one day he was getting his overalls on "what you gonna do Dad" , "just going to fix the rust and bubbling paint on the drivers wing been meaning to do it for months" he said ...... I immediately went and shat myself , waiting for the angry holler to come from the garage . Still nothing ....so I very sheepishly went out to the garage , there he was grinder on the floor , filler and rattle cans on the bonnet , scratching his head ....Still nothing ... I couldn't go on with the tension of living like this so I took a deep breath and confessed to the whole incident . He had a surprisingly good punch for a little fellow . Kicked me out , homeless in November , I fully deserved what I got , eventually he forgave me , well sort of , but that wing never did go rusty and I eventually did put the pinstripes on for him .

We laugh about it now , well sort of !