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Tales of eccentrism motoring 2012 onwards ,rag tag engineering


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Today i woke up and didnt think for one moment i would be involved in a botched car purchasing goosechase that thankfully has gone well !
anyhow the story goes that after dropping the wor lass of at her community nursing call i decided to pop down the local bland mobeel dealers see if they had any 'px to clear' nonsense and after abit of cruising up and down in the skodbotherer  found the best thing i could find my lovely gf for her job. 
So anyhow right at the back of the lot i spy a J plate proton and the palms get sweaty,,heart races at the thought of understeer and a raspy exhaust but i darent ask by myself because i'd look like a div ,,so wait for the first ladies return from the call and we head up as a team effort 2 against hopefully one style.
laterly we ask about it and the good fellow says its part of his late father in laws estate and after some anecdotal stories regarding the fellows car we leave a number and head out,,then literally 2 mins later he pops out and says it can be had for 150 to liquidate it into the probate WIN
so i book a test for a few hours ahead of picking it up so to be able to insure it and get it to run despite sitting 6 months 
we do that but we juggle organising that with travelling about for her job, and her uncles that have rocked up to do wiring in our house but obviously i'm iching to see if it will even get to the test station lol
anyhow the time beckons and we set of back up with the 150quid,,a can of pez and some easy start,,abit of help from the booster pack and its away 
get in and give it some clutch muscle and the handbrake pops free so we set of and straight away what a beast smooth and quite a refined machine so evidently i boot it to see what the 12 valve can muster and straight away regret it as it boggs down and stutters like feck as i approach the a61 main roundabout ,,abit of clutch slipping and throttle feathering see's us across that old danger zone and we stutter and bogg our way to kwikfit whereby it somewhat clears up its act
brakes good and running smooth ish i feel confident of a mere rust fail sheet 
course i'd not tried the wipers untill i got there and watch as the wiper arm runs across the screen sans wiper ,,,
anyhow the car cut out on the test and wouldnt restart as its dead bazzer and  cheap ass new fuel pump died simultaineously ,,so only way to get the beast home was to rob the facet one off the skoda and pikey fit it
despite abandoning the test the tester was a top guy who was loving the emergence of a dinasour like this and coincidently is a RR member haha
i concluded i had been too ambitious with the car lol
anyhow banal action pics 
took this pic covertly because there was loads of general public around,,note the accidental oil and pez spillage from hand pumping the fuel pump
fitted up the facet,,earth jammed in the manifold thing mount and handily a live taken from a mysterious but available live
we then set off back noting that if the car stalled which i was fearing it might if the facet was maybe too much for the weird SU thing so plenty of left foot breaking and feathering going on to keep it going 
we got home and after one cheeky sidewalls on the road understeer into the street it decided to cut out finaly 
sunroof works all good
deceased chaps over glass's , it was said he was 97 when he stopped driving this and only did so because he broke his back and soon after passed on , he sounds like abit of a legend
wor lass likes the car and not even ironically 
tentatively we open the boot
this was viewed with suspicion as i had the thought of it having shit or a dead pet inside but alas the fellow found a alternative use for his handbag
WTF is going on with the wheel well,,spare and garage tool set housing ?
not bad i thought given it literally only ran badly for about 20mins after a 6month sit 
worst bit of rot
i must remove these before a teenager etc kicks them off and only leaves the smashed carcase for me to refit before attending any car show (ahh actually thats someone else who did that)  either way they remove the need for stomach pumping as just looking at them does that for me 
so a good weld clean and carb sort out should see it back to health and on the highway :) and to think 10 years ago i thought these were dire,,and perenialy going to stick around forever how times change

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Asshole father in law had one of these. I hated it at the time, I guess his shit driving ability didn't help, however, I am now appreciating the love for da Proton! Bang on save Sir, you are to clearly be admired for you bravery, sheer balls and utter insanity. Fabulous stuff.

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did someone video me earlier,,course the only giveaway as to it not being the events of a few hours back was due to me not quick fire testing the adjustable steering column woollarding the engine bay and also knocking the tin of the vehicle sounded more like giving a can of pop a good battering rather than the oak door knocking effect in that vid


i might have to spam/re-enact in a dealership that vid its amazing

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a quick google reveals 915kg kerb weight which imo feels about right looking at it but it does have a wallowy american feel due to the 10 turns lock to lock and extreme tyre distortion going on at moderate cornering 


when the good ladies one wasnt bogging down and hesitating it showed a fairly willing engine once it 'came on cam' and the exhaust has a funny none catylist style raspberry rasping to add to the malayan gaining speed experience ,,,cant wait to get it out there and give it a proper run 

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Meant to say, saw you at the Silverlink yesterday mate.

You look a lot different than you did on that Cortina documentary.



Hmm... waddya thinnnk of me Savv, then? Wheels are SatriaSport [keepinn it in the family, like]




Doh! No attached image on phone..... lols tw*t :-)



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It may have got a bit weird now, but this thread is what makes Autoshite great. Crap car gets saved. Love it.


Blame the OP. The lazy bastard is probably outside, welding upside down on that  Escort van.


WTD Proton upd8

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