"It's a great car, but..."

[RoadworkUK]

I never, ever found the headlamp flasher on my SAAB 9000. Did they actually have one? I found all I could do was quickly flick in and out of full beam.

[Junkman]

Renault 4 - black ice on floor in Winter.

Any old yank - permanently steamed up windows in bad weather if not A/C equipped.

VW Beetle - being a VW Beetle.

Opel Kapitän/Admiral/Diplomat B - boot can only be opened with the key.

Citroen DS/GS/SM - can't open the nearside doors if parked alongside a curb for a few hours. This may not be such a big issue in the UK, but take it to Paris or Vienna.

Jaguar XK-E FHC - I am unable to get into it on the driver's side.

Peugeot 405 - when it's raining, opening a door causes a waterfall onto the seat.

Range Rover Classic - that fuggin headliner.

77-86 Chevrolet Caprice - illuminated wiper switch reflected in the middle of the door mirror at night.

[Partridge]

I can only open my Polo’s boot with the key!

On the subject of the RRC, what about those tailgates? I’ve never seen one that’s not rusty. Do rust free ones exist or is it an urban myth?

XJ40s (a car that I’ve already spoken about here) seem to have a problem with sagging headliners too.

[Rod/b]

Kia Mohave - great car spoilt by the most CHRISTINGLY SHIT stereo / sat nav thing in the dashboard.

[Pillock]

On the Touran, the armrest scrapes on the handbrake when you pull it up.

Focus - the wipers do a final "dribble wipe" which just serves to smear the screen.

The mk3 Golf has central air vents that can only blow cold.

Leon - the boot pull is just a handle in the plastic trim, not attached to metal, so it just pulls the trim off eventually.

Any cars with fag lighter power sockets that don't turn off with the ignition.

[Rod/b]

  Alan Partridge said:

On the subject of the RRC, what about those tailgates? I’ve never seen one that’s not rusty. Do rust free ones exist or is it an urban myth?

 

The lower on this was ok:

 

This looked a bit past it though:

[Lord Sterling]

Micra tailgate can only be opened by key, but some of the higher spec models have a tailgate/petrol flap release lever, these can be retrofitted in.

 

Rover 800 - Great rear speakers, shockingly bad front ones. The cone surrounds are nothing but some spongy stuff that eventually rots and leaves the speaker cone farting away. This is all 800s from 86' to 98'.

 

Wipers on the mk1 800. There is a scuttle panel with an abrupt step on it which the wipers hit on thier final travel, also with wipers, you cannot lift the wiper arms up all the way to change them, which makes it a PITA to change the wiper.

[Junkman]

  Alan Partridge said:

On the subject of the RRC, what about those tailgates?

 

I can drive with a rusty tailgate, but not with a headliner supported by my head.

[Pete-M]

Granada Mk2 and Mk3 seats. Over stuffed but with bugger all thigh support. The Recaros in the Mk2 injection were possibly the finest seats I've ever owned.

 

Primera Mk1 seat runners. I quite like some of the faster Mk1 Primeras, but the seats don't go far enough back for me to get comfy. Bloody annoying.

 

Peugeot 604 and it's curved seat runners. Utterly destroyed the driving position for me. Seats were comfy, but to have the seat base on a comfy angle I'd need to saw 3" off my legs. Set the seat to a good position for my legs and the seat cushion is on an angle which drives my knees into the steering wheel.

 

Also on the subject of the 604, I hated the PRV engine power delivery. Loads of zip at low speeds, bugger all higher up. Most disappointing anywhere but nipping around town.

[Partridge]

Those Rangies-hard to believe those would have been someone’s pride and joy once.

[Rod/b]

There's more. I'll start a FRED.

[robinmasters]

Xantia heater, which runs a millionty amps through the ignition switch, inevitably burning it out.

 

I wired mine through one of these, instead of fixing it properly:

 

[dollywobbler]

  Lord Sterling said:

Wipers on the mk1 800. There is a scuttle panel with an abrupt step on it which the wipers hit on thier final travel, also with wipers, you cannot lift the wiper arms up all the way to change them, which makes it a PITA to change the wiper.

 

Turn the wipers on and turn the ignition off with the blades more accessible?

 

I find the complaints about BX headlights odd. I've always found them quite good - apart from when I fitted yellow bulb caps. Then they were dreadful. They do seem to suffer from poor reflector life, so maybe I've been lucky. Rover 400 bubble had the worst main beam of any car I've ever driven. Utterly crap.

[Shep Shepherd]

  oman5 said:

Volvo 240 AND 740. built like a tank with indestructible mechanicals, yet with door pockets designed to shatter and crack by the simple act of getting in and out of the car.

 

The Volvo's door pockets are 100% intact and functional after ten years in my ownership. As for the headlining and gauges, however: ghhdjgjghdighdghgkd

[oman5]

  Shep Shepherd said:

  oman5 said:

Volvo 240 AND 740. built like a tank with indestructible mechanicals, yet with door pockets designed to shatter and crack by the simple act of getting in and out of the car.

 

The Volvo's door pockets are 100% intact and functional after ten years in my ownership. As for the headlining and gauges, however: ghhdjgjghdighdghgkd

 

different headliners fitted to 740s, they all do that. ditto the gauges. it's a printed circuit issue.

[R9UKE]

Selective door unlocking on the Laguna and Vel Satis. This feature fucks me off every single day.

[purplebargeken]

XJ40 - headlining - yep! Headlight modules being almost a service item, non openy petrol flap.

 

Landie 110 - fab in every way apart from needing an elbow amputation in order to be able to keep the window closed. See-saw steering is a pain.

 

Hyundai Amica - too fricking narrow.

 

Hyundai i10 - weedy shite sounding horn, in a PITA position to get to it as well. Wow, that's it? Cool.

 

Daf 33 - front wheel well is frigging enormous and necessitates the use of the left foot for braking. Lethal bonnet catch, especially if one is follically challenged. It hurts. A lot. Boot lid catch pain applies to the Triumph Toledo.

 

R9 & 11 seat foam made of kitchen scourers, too soft for any kind of use.

 

MGF - steering wheel height and rake would have been helpful, do I need to say anything else?

 

MuZ 301 - fuse holder's made out of rancid Eastern German cheese. Same goes for the exhaust down tube.

 

Smart For2 or whatever the fuckers were called, self destructing gearbox and distinct lack of anything closely resembling suspension. Oh, lets not forget built in 'roundabout fear'. It's real! Grrrrrrrrrr. Actually, it shouldn't even be in this list as it would therefore be classified as a great car. Nooooooooooooooo.

 

I could go on and on and on, but I won't. For now.

[messerschmitt owner]

  purplebargeken said:

Smart For2 or whatever the fuckers were called, self destructing gearbox and distinct lack of anything closely resembling suspension. Oh, lets not forget built in 'roundabout fear'. It's real! Grrrrrrrrrr. Actually, it shouldn't even be in this list as it would therefore be classified as a great car. Nooooooooooooooo.

 

I could go on and on and on, but I won't. For now.

 

 

self destructing engine maybe, the gear boxes are quite good and don't go as often as the engines do.

 

However, smart roundabout fear is real - my biggest bit of roundabout fear was being pushed by an 18 tonner into the middle of a roundabout in the roadster.

[Barry Cade]

  purplebargeken said:

 

MGF - steering wheel height and rake would have been helpful, do I need to say anything else?

 

 

Smart For2 or whatever the fuckers were called, self destructing gearbox and distinct lack of anything closely resembling suspension. Oh, lets not forget built in 'roundabout fear'. It's real! Grrrrrrrrrr. Actually, it shouldn't even be in this list as it would therefore be classified as a great car. Nooooooooooooooo.

 

 

Later MGF's and the TF had adjustment I believe, I find mine fine, better than an X1/9 anyway- the thing I HATE, and winds me up every time, on all Rovers (not 75) is the brittle, crappy cheap wobbly keys. I have a thing about keys.

 

Agree 100% on Smart cars, once the novelty wore off on mine, I found it a horrible little thing, spoiled completely by the gearbox.

[Rod/b]

Wash your mouth out. The BL bendy key is an icon of modern motoring.

[John F]

In the LR Discovery 300 TDi, if the wipers are operated when the bonnet is open they scrape the paint off the back edge of the bonnet (which is aluminium, luckily).

[Rocket88]

Mini [not BMW] window winder always wants to be in the same place my knee does.............crap driving position, bonnet catah lacerates the back of your head......

[alfetta]

  RoadworkUK said:

I never, ever found the headlamp flasher on my SAAB 9000. Did they actually have one? I found all I could do was quickly flick in and out of full beam.

 

not sure about 9000's but older saabs use a relay to latch full beam - you can flash normally with the lights off, but with them on you have to flick twice like you describe...Or it may have a two stage switch like citroens - pull a little to flash - pull further to latch main beam.

 

my pet hate is the electronic boot switch on K12 micras. It fails all the time and locks you out! I'd sooner just use key (or cable release) then over complicate things..

[jonny69]

I love my 105E, but why couldn't Ford make doors that fitted? The doors on the upright Pop and 100E models fitted a treat and closed nicely; the ones on the Anglia aren't even the same shape as the hole they go in and need proper smash-the-window-out slamming.

[brickwall]

Volvo C70 convertible: What a lovely car and very swish. Why does it have the turning circle of a Jumbo Jet?

[Pillock]

VW Beetle, the original. I appreciate it's a well-made car but for chuffing christ having to open a window before closing the door, or having to ram the door closed so hard you nearly tip the car over is daft. There's just nowhere for the air to go.

[Spiny Norman]

The original Saab 900 suffered form a few ergonomic disasters too.

The pedals were almost in the passenger footwell, the electric window switches were not only in a really awkward place on the floor behind the handbrake where the bottom of your jacket would get in the way of, but always seemed to be wired the wrong way round too. I always felt I was pressing 'up' to make the windows go down.

Opening the bonnet was a right faff as well.

[wuvvum]

  dollywobbler said:

Rover 400 bubble had the worst main beam of any car I've ever driven. Utterly crap.

I've actually found my 400's headlights to be OK - not the best I've ever owned, but certainly far from the worst.

 

The Scenic does the "dribble wipe" thing too - most annoying. I'm quite capable of flicking the wipers myself if there's a dribble.

[stilo_active]

Rover 25 - position of electric window switches tucked in behind gear lever but in front of handbrake. I HATE that!

[pandarus]

...there are just sooo many others out there to try