Beijing mega shite 3000

[Sam Glover]

I had a couple of days to tool around Beijing earlier this week on my way home from a North Korean birthday party. I whiled away the time by being a pervert.

 

Superior North Korean filth to follow sometime soon...

 

Hongqi CA7180A2E and FAW Jettaat - both excellent names.

 

More hot Hongqi CA7180A2E action - this time taken from the rear.

 

Dongfeng Elysée.

 

You know you want a Santana 3000.

 

A FAW Jetta with a face-lifted bottom.

 

Roewe W5 - Rover/SsangYong rape lovechild.

 

A winning combination of Korean stylishness and Austin Rover quality control.

 

British refinement.

 

The excellently titled Dongfeng Fukang.

 

A pair of Shanghai GM Buick Regals.

 

The Nissan Bluebird lives on.

 

Shanghai GM Chevrolet Sail booted Corsa mashup and face-lifted Dongfeng Elysée.

 

Roewe 550. Far better looking among other Chinese uggomobiles.

 

Chinese Jeep - or 'Cheep'.

 

Shanghai Santana Police action.

 

Chery Flagcloud (also known as the Cowin and Amulet).

 

Note superior quality.

 

Geely Haoqing.

 

MG3 SW looks elegantly understated in such company.

 

Changan Ford Fiesta with added boot.

 

Beijing BJ2020VJ... or similar.

 

Lifan 320.

 

...also called the Lifan Smiley in Russia.

 

Car/bike/sex robot.

 

Chery Tiggo RAV4 ripoff.

 

FAW Jetta taxi, taken from a FAW Jetta taxi.

 

New MG3.

 

Chery QQ - a Daewoo Matiz, but without the build quality.

 

A proud man gives his Roewe 550 a vigorous elbow-rubbing.

 

Antanov An-2 shite.

[dollywobbler]

Good grief. All the stuff we thought was dead isn't! The Seat Toledo thing is a shock - knew about some of the others. Thanks!

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Awesome spots, I wouold have a CHANG all over most of them. But what i really want to know is how do you get to go to a North Korean Birthday party?

[wuvvum]

But what i really want to know is how do you get to go to a North Korean Birthday party?

This. ^

[RoadworkUK]

 

Dongfeng Elysée.

 

 

Reminds me, almost inexplicably, of:

 

 

I must have been taking special mindless optimism drugs.

 

(EDIT: Bugger, the image has gone. It was an old shape Quattroporte)

 

Excellent spots, Mr Glover.

 

And +1 on the North Korean Partaaaying.

[HillmanImp]

Awesome spots, I wouold have a CHANG all over most of them. But what i really want to know is how do you get to go to a North Korean Birthday party?

 

Judging by the cars over there, I suspect a North Korean Birthday Party would actually be a band whose singer looked like Nick Cave from 100ft away but upon closer inspection actually turned out to be a secondary school teacher called Cumsuk Dik in a cheap suit with a drawn on handlebar moustache.

 

BTW these are some fugging great photos.

[ProgRocker]

Love the VW Jettaat and ass-lifted jetta!

[RedSparrow]

Awesome spots - Thanks!

Why do some of these models have such complex names? CP33D8C5DSJKW.

 

I too would be interested in hearing all about your DPRK trip, shite related or otherwise.

[michiel]

Judging by the cars over there, I suspect a North Korean Birthday Party would actually be a band whose singer looked like Nick Cave from 100ft away but upon closer inspection actually turned out to be a secondary school teacher called Cumsuk Dik in a cheap suit with a drawn on handlebar moustache.

 

LOL@ the model and brand names & massive LOL@the above.

[hairnet]

have santana estate and fiesta want

 

liking the audi at the start too

 

NEED to know about DPK soon - old man does seoul quite a bit and thats bland city so moving north might be interesting n;est pas?

[Ross_K]

 

This Audi knockoff is TEH WINNAR. I just know the ownership experience would be blighted by a two-stroke or pushrod engine lurking under the bonnet though.

 

Also good to see the Citroen ZX lives on in various guises...

[vulgalour]

 

These are, by all accounts I've seen, truly terrible but they look so awesome that I want one. The only problem is I wouldn't be able to see where I was going for laughing at myself and my stupid little car too hard. I love stuff like this! I can only imagine commuting in it would be like this (with me as the awesome face, obviously).

[eddyramrod]

 

These are, by all accounts I've seen, truly terrible but they look so awesome that I want one. The only problem is I wouldn't be able to see where I was going for laughing at myself and my stupid little car too hard. I love stuff like this! I can only imagine commuting in it would be like this (with me as the awesome face, obviously).

 

All of the above! I can imagine knocking aound town in that, but the moment you wanted to go out of town at all you'd really have to have something bigger and more capable to hand. Like a 998 Metro.... And I'd never carry a passenger. Not that anyone would be daft enough, or would they?

[vulgalour]

Paint it like a bee, ride around with bee costumes on, pretend it's the most normal thing in the world.

[KruJoe]

That's a good crop of shite there SG, nice work.

I particularly enjoyed the ZX saloon effort, and the green Geely monstrosity with the W202-esque nose.

[John F]

I'm surprised that the Chinese seem to use the Roman alphabet on their registration plates. Anyone know why??

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

 

These are, by all accounts I've seen, truly terrible but they look so awesome that I want one. The only problem is I wouldn't be able to see where I was going for laughing at myself and my stupid little car too hard. I love stuff like this! I can only imagine commuting in it would be like this (with me as the awesome face, obviously).

 

If a computer was given infinity to constantly produce random binary it would eventually create every possible computer file, including a perfect high-def copy of Bullitt in which Steve McQueen drives one of those Chinese three wheelers instead of a Mustang.

[morris_ital_lover]

Interesting to see the Roewe/Ssangyong mixup, many moons ago IIRC MG Rover looked at a partnership withSsangyong to build their cars on the cheap as soft roaders for the UK market*... it ultimately failed until now.

 

*Project failed when the legal department phoned and told them that Land Rover where making all the 4x4s with the rover badge and that rover should go fuck itself. (which of course it took far too literally).

 

Lovely pics BTW, can't wait to see the DPRK ones!

[vulgalour]

If a computer was given infinity to constantly produce random binary it would eventually create every possible computer file, including a perfect high-def copy of Bullitt in which Steve McQueen drives one of those Chinese three wheelers instead of a Mustang.

 

[wuvvum]

 

These are, by all accounts I've seen, truly terrible but they look so awesome that I want one. The only problem is I wouldn't be able to see where I was going for laughing at myself and my stupid little car too hard.

 

Some brave soul is trying to flog these things in the US. I'd love one, but I'm not sure I'd pay $6,000 for one...

 

[ChinaTom]

I'm surprised that the Chinese seem to use the Roman alphabet on their registration plates. Anyone know why??

 

Chinese only has 5 letters in the language. They make up 188 basic or compound shapes that are able to "start" the construction of a character.

 

, - | J 2 are the letters - everything is built from that.

 

English is just so much damn simpler. But, where Romanized letters are limited to 26 (less for cars due to O and I, Chinese would be limited to 188 if they chose to treat the compound shapes (known as radicals) instead of A B C etc. As some of the radicals contain over 20 of the "letters" this would make for some pretty complex stuff.

 

This is why Chinese speaking nations just can't use dot matrix displays properly.

 

More trivia:

 

The Chinese character is the Provincial notifier - all of SG's are from the city of Beijing the character being the Jing from BeiJing, the next letter identifies the region within the city. Then the letters/numbers combo are kind of age related if you can crack the code and know how many cars were sold in the district since the beginning. 10000 would be the oldest, ZZZZ9 would be the newest (theoretically) An 'O' after the character means it is a state-owned vehicle. China will run out of space on the plates soon if car ownership continues to sky-rocket.

 

That was too much info wasn't it?

[John F]

I'm surprised that the Chinese seem to use the Roman alphabet on their registration plates. Anyone know why??

 

Chinese only has 5 letters in the language. They make up 188 basic or compound shapes that are able to "start" the construction of a character.

 

, - | J 2 are the letters - everything is built from that.

 

English is just so much damn simpler. But, where Romanized letters are limited to 26 (less for cars due to O and I, Chinese would be limited to 188 if they chose to treat the compound shapes (known as radicals) instead of A B C etc. As some of the radicals contain over 20 of the "letters" this would make for some pretty complex stuff.

 

This is why Chinese speaking nations just can't use dot matrix displays properly.

 

More trivia:

 

The Chinese character is the Provincial notifier - all of SG's are from the city of Beijing the character being the Jing from BeiJing, the next letter identifies the region within the city. Then the letters/numbers combo are kind of age related if you can crack the code and know how many cars were sold in the district since the beginning. 10000 would be the oldest, ZZZZ9 would be the newest (theoretically) An 'O' after the character means it is a state-owned vehicle. China will run out of space on the plates soon if car ownership continues to sky-rocket.

 

That was too much info wasn't it?

 

Not at all - thanks for the info, Tom

[Father Ted]

Truly awesome thread.

 

More on N Korea party please. I have some really horrible pictures in my mind of a grim party where everyone is not allowed to enjoy themsevlves too much and ony

[Rod/b]

I know that Chery QQ is bad but does James May really need to express his displeasure by urinating on it?

[Jack_Harpers_Teeth]

Love this topic - I have been educated.

[Ross_K]

I have some really horrible pictures in my mind of a grim party where everyone is not allowed to enjoy themsevlves too much and ony

 

Ain't no party like a Pyongyang party, 'cause a Pyongyang party is ABSOLUTELY MANDATORY

[Father Ted]

I have some really horrible pictures in my mind of a grim party where everyone is not allowed to enjoy themsevlves too much and ony

 

Ain't no party like a Pyongyang party, 'cause a Pyongyang party is ABSOLUTELY MANDATORY

Bahahahahahah