Bad design bloopers

[MrDuke]

Any car where the heater controls DON'T illuminate Strangely enough, I often need to adjust the settings at night, and while I will eventually get used to the exact position of the knob/slider, there might be a period of some weeks when I need to actually SEE the feckin thing? Also, despite knowing where the knobs were on the Astra, I never could remember the sequence of vent-direction settings, so had to turn on the interior light every time. This problem was compounded by frequently having a person in the passenger seat whose feet/hands swing from freezing to boiling and back again every 5 minutes

[MrDuke]

Also, digital speedos - not the awesome multicoloured displays we all adore, but a single speed display of 3 LCD digits instead of a dial. The only one I can name off the top of my head was the early Fiat Tipo, I'm sure there were others though. When you're regulating your speed in a familiar car, you look at the needle position rather than the numbers (or is that just me?) and it's incredibly annoying having to study a constantly changing screen display and repeatedly dab the brake/throttle when you enter a restriction.

[j-j]

Any car where the heater controls DON'T illuminate

Agree! The only car I ever had that was like this was my Panda!

 

ANY car where the dashboard bulbs are a weekend - long PITA to change, I'm looking at you xantia

 

ANY car that requires tools to change headlight bulbs and tail lights.

 

And though it looks cool, any car with forward opening bonnet - why?

 

My old GSA had a dash mounted handbrake and it was actually brilliant - really nice action, except you had to hold it upside down due to the release button not being changed to RHD UGH..1/10 for effort

[Pete-M]

And though it looks cool, any car with forward opening bonnet - why?

 

I prefer them. Ok, it's a pain if you're trying to do some jobs, but a rear opening one is a pain for the same number of jobs, and if a forward opening one isn't shut properly it's not gonna fly up and blank out the windscreen unless you brake very suddenly indeed....

[stuboy]

yeah mk3 cavliers... tailgate drenchs your shopping, open front windows with water on the roof it pours into door pocket

[eddyramrod]

And though it looks cool, any car with forward opening bonnet - why?

 

I prefer them.

 

+1 Pete!

[dollywobbler]

I'm with JJ. They're an utter pain the arse. I'm struggling to think of a time that a rear-opening bonnet has got in the way of a job. It certainly didn't help me on the Renault 21 when I was trying to remove that bloody starter motor! Also a pain on my Bond Equipe. In theory, anything Herald-based has great engine access. Only if you actually take the bonnet off.

 

Another bad design. Citroen Dyane and Ami. Stainless steel bumpers. They don't rot, but they do cut your hands to ribbons when you try cleaning behind them...

[M'coli]

Fiat Ducato interior door handles - every bloody time I go to look into the depths of the door bin I crack my effing skull on the effing door handle.

[The Moog]

I'm with JJ. They're an utter pain the arse. I'm struggling to think of a time that a rear-opening bonnet has got in the way of a job. It certainly didn't help me on the Renault 21 when I was trying to remove that bloody starter motor! Also a pain on my Bond Equipe. In theory, anything Herald-based has great engine access. Only if you actually take the bonnet off.

 

They are ace on the 900. Plus two bolts and the thing is off giving excellent access!

[Spiny Norman]

Another potentially expensive one from the world of Mercedes.

 

When you own a Mercedes there will eventually come a point when some fucktard tries to steal the bonnet mascot, which will entail sourcing a replacement if you don't want a hole in the bonnet.

No worries, they're always available on Ebay for a few quid, but if you're smart (like me ) you'll take the good one off before anyone has a chance to nick it/wreck the bonnet trying to jemmy it off with a crowbar, and replace it with a far less desirable flat one. So far so good.

 

So you open the bonnet, stick a pair of pliers into the cut outs on the underside of the badge, turn it 90 degrees to disengage the lock and the whole thing is now free to come off.

 

Its at this point you'd better be holding onto it from the top, because if you don't this substantial chunk of pig iron rolls down the raised bonnet, probably scratching it in the process, and then smashes into the windscreen!

Luckily I'd been warned about this beforehand, but according to the bods on the Mercedes forum it's one of the most common causes of a broken screen on a Merc.

[MrDuke]

And though it looks cool, any car with forward opening bonnet - why?

 

I prefer them. Ok, it's a pain if you're trying to do some jobs, but a rear opening one is a pain for the same number of jobs, and if a forward opening one isn't shut properly it's not gonna fly up and blank out the windscreen unless you brake very suddenly indeed....

 

Also, in my limited experience, forward openers tend to stand vertical when open, whereas rear openers tend to stop at around 60 degrees (with a few exceptions, I know...) so working space is generally better, at least where not smacking your head is concerned.

[Ross_K]

Citroen Ax/106/saxo 5dr: handle mechanism freezes the door catch open in the winter, cue hours of fun trying to poke the bastards closed on winter mornings.

 

Add the ZX to that list. Many's the freezing Scottish morning I

(a) couldn't get in the car because the doors had frozen shut thanks to the exposed rubber.

( couldn't close the door thanks to the above shitty mechanism. Much fun driving down the M8 at 80mph, holding the door shut while late for work.

 

Xsara/Xantia - that fucking fucking seat height adjuster, that when owned by midgets, pokes you up the arsehole everytime you get in or out.

 

Never had that problem. I managed to snap the plastic bit of the handle off every Xantia I owned.

 

Speaking of the Xantia, what fucking sadist came up with the plastic clutch cable clip?

 

Anybody who's heard that PINGGGGG! will know know what I'm on about.

[Negative Creep]

I've had 2 AXs and a ZX, never had that door handle problem or even heard of it on the owners club. The factory radio on a mk.2 AX is a right pain in the arse to remove without scratching the dash surround to fuck

[MrDuke]

^^^ Yep, the stereo on the 106 was a biatch to get out, left loads of marks on the surround and I was being really careful. The check-straps on the 3-doors seemed to be a weak point though - I've seen loads with creases on the doors/wings where they've blown open, including Mrs_Duke's old one.

[cobblers]

MK2 golf gti seat height adjuster handle, located at the bottom right hand side of the drivers seat. A big biff handle that hooks upwards.

 

Every time I got in the car it hooked my left trouser leg on this handle and ended up fumbling about trying to get unhooked. Every fucking time. I cut it off with an angle grinder in a rage.

[Cavcraft]

Peugeot's clever* idea of making 106 and 206 door catches out of papier mâché. All you need is for someone to fart three streets away as you're opening the door and you've got a dent in the wing.

[Angrydicky]

A55 Cambridges were hated by mechanics back in the day because the oil filter is so difficult to change. There's no access, and you need a cranked 9/16 AF spanner to get anywhere near it. Even then you've got an hour of scraping knuckles before the bolt finally drops out into the hole provided for it in the chassis leg, otherwise you'd never get the filter off. I'm dreading doing the one on the latest car (but it needs doing ASAP as I have no idea when it was last done).

[willswitchengage]

Skoda Fabia (and probs other VAG) seat reach adjuster - instead of a discrete flat handle under the cushion, there's a four foot long lever that sticks out forwards on the inner side. Want to stretch your legs or even climb into the car as a taller person? Ooowwwwch

[dollywobbler]

Ford Maverick oil filter. Getting at it is easier if you jack the car up and remove a front wheel, but even then it's like trying to use one of those fairground grab hook machines. I'm glad the filter was loose on mine (presumably because the access is too poor to get good leverage on it) or I wouldn't have been stuffed. I think I got it a bit tighter though...

[Autoplas]

Studebaker Hawk - not sure the Mercedes handbrake (footbrake and mechanical or electronic lever to release) is a design blooper as such, but it does take some getting use to

 

The boot of my W211 sedan is so gigantic that I, at 6'4", can barely reach the back of the boot at full stretch without falling in. There is no way a short person is getting anything out of the back of the boot without either climbing in or using some sort of mechanical grabber.

 

On another note as a tall driver it never fails to amaze me how many manufacturers badly position interior door handles, centre consoles etc which severely restrict lateral legroom and leave you with all kinds of aches and pains at the end of a journey. Low streamlined roofs are another problem.

 

I drove a new Audi A4 for a week a short while back and it was the most cramped, uncomfortable car I have driven in a long time. I actually ricked my neck twice in 3 days getting in an out of the thing. The BMW 5 series is another design 'winna' with interior door handles that protrude right into the cabin forcing your right knee across to the left.

 

Finally I actually got wedged in the door opening of a Mercedes CLS when looking for a new car 18 months ago and physically could not get into it the roof was so low - hence the purchase of the E-Class.

[rml2345]

Clear indicator lenses. Great idea except that I can never bloody see them...

[catsinthewelder]

Citroen Ax/106/saxo 5dr: handle mechanism freezes the door catch open in the winter, cue hours of fun trying to poke the bastards closed on winter mornings.

 

Add the ZX to that list. Many's the freezing Scottish morning I

(a) couldn't get in the car because the doors had frozen shut thanks to the exposed rubber.

( couldn't close the door thanks to the above shitty mechanism. Much fun driving down the M8 at 80mph, holding the door shut while late for work.

 

You can add the BX to that list, it was fine this winter after a good dose of silicone grease but the previous winter I had loads of grief. One school run was undertaken with the drivers door tied shut with the seatbelt, the kids were all bundled in through this door too once I'd got it open as I didn't have time to fight with the rest.

 

A right annoying one with the VW T2 is that when you sit on the drivers seat a gap opens up between the seat cushion and the backrest. This regularly holds onto the seatbelt resuling in time spent wresling with it to get it freed. Work gave me a retractable belt clip the other week as they are enforcing visable I.D. cards. Took the VW to work, on leaving I pulled it out the carpark and got out to lock the gate, SNAP, bollocks seat had eaten I.D. card

[tonedepear]

Had 3 x ZXs and had that issue with every one. Most memorable was the drive home from work after a night shift - Couldn't turn the key in the drivers door but managed to get the passenger door open. Passenger door would then not stay shut so had to hold it shut from the driver's seat across the car when cornering (above about 40mph on the straight I found the wind held it near enough shut), then as the car warmed up the drivers door responded to my earlier attempts to unlock it and tried to throw me out just when I thought I was safe.

[chaseracer]

Citroen BX

 

Glovebox hinges made of brie

This fine Gallic tradition continues with the overhead hatch lids on Modutop-equipped Blingos, which are otherwise pretty easy to live with. Citroen want £144 for a new lid, I say gaffer tape will do just fine...

[chaseracer]

Calibra: the worst headlights known to man.

Not quite...

 

 

[tonedepear]

I forget the exact details, but the C4 glovebox is apparently prone to disintegrate at the first sign of putting owt in it.

[chaseracer]

Continuing the deconstruction of all things Double-Chevron, the Xantia again. I have to conclude that they hung the heater matrix from the factory ceiling then built the car around it; such fun reversing that process when it starts to leak, as it inevitably will...

[MK5 Escort]

Another one with the Mk3 Golf which I don't think I've seen mentioned is the glovebox handles. Think tic-tac plastics and you would be kind to them. The mechanisms are also ridiculously flimsy.

 

Current/outgoing Audi A3 Sportback - with the seat in the correct position for me, the inside of the B pillar is pretty much exactly what I look at if I look right. GR8 for junctions and roundabouts... More of a personal gripe than an actual design flaw but annoyed the hell out of me when I used to potter around in one for a bit. Either lean forward or push your head back onto the headrest and look out of the back passenger window...

 

Post 2005 Vauxhall Zafira has an incredibly uncomfortable pedal box, with the pedals feeling as if they're almost 'flat' as if you were 'stepping/standing' on them. As much as I like the car in general, driving one over distance proved to be uncomfortable for the ankles. Thank god the one my father owned for a couple of years had cruise control...

 

Any car where the front seat backs are adjusted by a lever as opposed to knob.

 

Seconded x 100... I have never once found the correct rake on the seat back for me in any car in one. Too bolt upright or too 'gangsta slant'. Anything in-between is impossible.

[Morgan84]

Suzuki Gtand Vitara 2.0 TD ( Peugeot engine )

 

The oil filter is a swine to change,and means moving the coolant tank asside,PAS reservoir and moving the ECU modules asside - then you can just about get a grip on it,once you have rolled up your sleeve and made your arm slippery - if the filters on tight - game over !

 

Great engine

Good car

 

The two should never have been put together !

[messerschmitt owner]

Calibra: the worst headlights known to man.

Not quite...

 

 

actually the S2 XM lamps (like those ones) are not bad - but the S1 ones are tosh!