Autoshite Quote of the Year

[Angrydicky]

I like this one:

 

Instead of having a joggler what I like to do is blow a small hole in the metal and then chase it 3/4 of the way up the panel I am repairing. As a result of this I would say that about 65% of my imp is actually made from slag. In the whole of the UK, the Imp is only 2nd to Hull in slag statistics.

[cms206]

I once saw a Volvo 340 with a Pollendines sticker in Coventry when I was at Uni, I celebrated by drinking vodka and snakebite to excess for four years.

[Louise2cv]

Of BBC2's "The 70s":

 

I'm getting some great jumper ideas from this show, I've also seen Barrett a couple of times too.

[rml2345]

I found this highly amusing

 

I'd love to stand behind it and pump my hot fluorescent life-giving bouncy fluid right into its undercarriage

[DSdriver]

Ross_K wrote:

 

After the apocalypse there will be cockroaches and 80's Landcruisers

 

Brilliant! He is very likely onto a safe bet - trouble is there will be no-one to collect from.

[Tayne]

What about Keith Richards?

[AnthonyG]

Judging by the amount of dickheads it looks like east London?

 

Courtesy of HillmanImp.

[loserone]

Who is quite on form tonight:

 

I soooooo hope this stays original and does not get slammed with some sort of shower curtain hook hanging off the rear bumper, stretched tyres, a japanese flag rusted on the bonnet and bukakke all over the windscreen. Someone buy it.

[AnthonyG]

Having no idea what 'bukkake' was, I put it into in Google. Thankfully, I typed 'meaning of word' as well.

[Tayne]

Its all fun and games until someone loses an eye.

[MrDuke]

The word bukkake is often used in Japanese to describe pouring out water with sufficient momentum to cause splashing or spilling. Indeed, bukkake is used in Japan to describe a type of dish where hot broth is poured over noodles

 

There you go, totally inoffensive.

[Louise2cv]

 

To have a closer look at it's underbelly, I 'constructed' an inspection ramp out of pallets and broken breeze blocks.

It wobbled like a bastard and had me touching cloth, so I fcuked that idea right off.

 

 

But after I'd been inside for a cup of tea and a nice sit down, the Lada was still up in the air, so I peered underneath.

 

Some proper progress has been made; I have weld burns on my fore-arms to prove it!

I'll bring you up to date next time next time I'm on, but rather than scratching my arse in front of the laptop, every spare 10 minutes is spent on my back getting filthy.

 

I'm thinking we can probably close this thread now.

[eddyramrod]

No, but we might have a calendar shot there!

[Craig the Princess]

No, but we might have a calendar shot there!

 

I think that is cover material!

[Cavcraft]

+11.

 

The picture and Joe's description are brilliant!

[KruJoe]

Aww, thanks you lot!

 

How about this idea:

At Chodley last year, nobody else seemed to have a clue what we were doing there, and we looked like a bunch of lunatics, so they didn't dare ask. We could print off some quotes from this thread and stick them in the cars' windows...

Waddaya reckon?

[Cavcraft]

That's a flaming ace idea. Put onto A4, laminate them and shove them under the wipers. First one to print off loads of 'First In Class: Sherpa Sports' and stick them on MG screens is the winner.

[quicksilver]

this just made made me LOL:

Lada 1200. The engine, steering, brakes, accelerator linkage and seats appear to be all made from wood. The 1600 is similar except that the steering is made from hardwood and not softwood.

[catsinthewelder]

I wanted this to be a charming underdog; unfairly derided and ultimately harmless. Wrong. It's rank. Kia Rio is to car as Britains Got Talent is to music. And it smells like a beach cafe full of decomposing buckets and spades. A no-holds-barred rectal prolapse of a car.

[Lord Sterling]

I found this funny:

 

Re: Pride of Longbridge

 

For added authenticity the stewards should decide to go on strike after only a few people have been let in and then picket the entrance

[Cavcraft]

Ruffgeezer:

 

'I've always thought of car values as more of a bell end, they gradually drop until something comes pissing out, then they aren't worth anything at all'

[vulgalour]

Had my polski fiat delivered today, tyres were so flat I couldn't get it in the garage and I couldn't put air into the tyres as the wheels are so rotten.

[Wilko220]

 

I bought a Samba Cabrio out of a northumberland scrapyard in about 1992. The clutch was shot in it so i took the engine out and dismantled all the idler gears etc. Then a goat broke into my garage and trampled all over the neatly laid out cogs and bearings and what have you on my workbench. I lost interest after that

 

 

.

[Guest mjrose]

I think this is really dirty, but I can't be certain. Just like my mates mum.

 

Cavette wrote:

 

'Splitter Has A Small Crack'

 

Yeah, mine had too, but I've been with her 29 years now and I can assure that's DEFO not the case anymore.

[rml2345]

Thought this was good;

 

I was selling £250 Escort Bonus in the local paper.

 

Woman turns up, takes for test drive, comes back, hands me they keys and says "it's the wrong shape".

 

What bloody shape did she want a Ford Escort to be then?

[sporty-shite]

Corking idea. I'll get up at 6am with a bitch pain hangover just to please the MB Owners Club......

[catsinthewelder]

Auto Excretia!

 

[KruJoe]

 

 

"I do like the suspension; it goes down like a 12 year old choir boy."

[Lankytim]

That wasn't Warren, it was Billy!

[warren t claim]

That wasn't Warren, it was Billy!

 

 

I must admit I might of said that. It does sound like a Warrenism although I stand to be corrected.