Driving the fun out of motoring.

[RoadworkUK]

In the latest Autocar Steve Cropley did a piece comparing how he is treated by other motorists when he drives different cars. To paraphrase, he explains that people give him plenty of space when he's in an Audi A6, and sit patiently behind him in the typical 80mph motorway queue, but if he drives his family's old Citroen ZX at the exact same speed, in the exact same circumstances, the car behind invariably pulls in, undertakes and then wedges himself in front, causing Steve to brake hard and the guy following to brake even harder.

 

I notice this mostly when I drive our shat old KA, and sometimes in the Rover. This is inevitable; the Rover 800 is inextricably (though not inexplicably) linked with the more experienced motorist, and a certain amount of dithering is expected whenever you encounter one. But I drive mine in the same way I drive company Mercs, e.g I don't hang about.

 

But here's the rub:- Going fast just isn't fun any more, and my main reason is that there's always some twat who wants to go faster.

 

It's all about people thinking they've got a point to prove. If you overtake somebody they seem to suddenly want to increase their pace to negate the advantage you've gained by the overtake. If they'd been going that fast in the first place I wouldn't have overtaken them. It's happened several times now. You overtake somebody, or sneak out before they pass you so you can avoid getting stuck behind the line of lorries you're approaching, then they narrow the gap as close as they can. So, lacking somewhere to pull in, you give them an extra 10mph to appease them. And he closes the gap again. Pretty soon you're both doing a ton. Neither of you want to be, but at least one of you has a point to prove.

 

Tonight, in the 800 I was driving through a village with a 40mph limit at 42.999 mph. As fast as I could get away with. A 1-series, who's been doing 45 catches up with me just before the end of the village. So, just for fun and because I knew what the outcome would be, I put it in third and floored it as soon as I hit the national speed limit. He was glued to me all the way up to and beyond 70, 80 until my little turning came up.

 

I think it's unlikely that he actually wanted to do 80, he was just spurred on by the idea of an old Rover that had held him up getting one over on him. He was trying to prove a point.

 

And I'm well aware of the irony that I've just started to drive an 800 and I'm complaining that driving fast isn't fun any more...

[Cavcraft]

Trust me the very best way to make everyone around you drive like a complete willy head is to fit 'L' plates to your car. When I was teaching my missus to drive those very plates were like a magnet to every idiot on the road. I left them on whilst I was driving on my own to bait these said idiots who often got a shock when I drove in the same manner as them.

[Shep Shepherd]

That sort of thing happens to me a great deal when I drive The Volvo.

[rml2345]

Wearing P plates on your car is a fantastic way to attract morons as well. Ditched mine after about 4 days. No matter how quickly (or not, honest officer) you want to go it seems there is always some monkey behind who wants to go faster. Being tailgated does become tiresome after a while.

In saying that, I was cut up on a roundabout by some 3-Series driving nonce one day and used the 740 it to tailgate them all the way through Bathgate

[wuvvum]

I find I get that a lot in the Solara - it's an "old" car, which the younger 318D-driving twats out there will not recognise at all, and the slightly older ones will think of as an old giffer-mobile, and yet it's more than capable of keeping up with most modern cars, which seems to irritate 318D-man no end. It's not even as if he can pretend he's not trying to get away from / past me - the amount of soot modern common-rail diesels kick out under full throttle is a dead giveaway. To a certain extent the same thing happens in the E3, although that's a larger car and a BMW so more people seem to treat it with respect - I've not yet had to wind it up to keep a tailgating moron at bay, although I'm sure it'd still manage 120 if asked.

[scaryoldcortina]

Yeah, this pretty much always happens to me too, probably because my cars are never modern so therefore I *must* be overtaken as soon/dangerously as possible. I take this into account when driving because I don't want to die any time soon...

 

Last night for example, I was driving along a fast country A road, nothing behind me, nothing in front either. There was a glow in the distance behind me after a couple of miles. As I got into city traffic (well, city for durham,. it's more like passing through a big village) an Insignia started tailgating me. Due to the complete lack of anywhere to pass he was still there on the way out of town. A road again, I started to make a gap between us until I got stuck behind a dutch 38 tonner and bang, he's there again. As we reached a rare 2 - lane bit (about 100 yds, inside is "turn left only" for a roundabout and petrol station) he undertook me, and then passed the lorry on its left side (and the verge!) while it was going straight on over the roundabout. I passed the lorry just after the roundabout where the road is wide and the visibility good (and the lorry is going slowly) but he was already vanishing in a big cloud of DPF effluent.

 

Just take a deep breath and try to stay out of the way while they kill themselves is my advice.

[catsinthewelder]

This tends to happen in most of the vehicles that I drive. The journey back from picking up the 1100 was distinctly quicker for the fact that every car in sight was desperate to overtake. The speedo wasn't working so I assumed that I was travelling slowly and put my foot down. Mrs CITW was following in the BX and apparently the needle was around 80 most of the way down the motorway, I thought we were doing about 60

 

The tailgating is irritating but not as bad as people seeing your old motor pottering down the road, assuming that it'll be going slowly and pulling out in front of you. I had borrowed the HiJet from work to pick up a sofa on a Saturday morning. Approaching Kidderminster on a duel carriageway some daft bint made a right turn accross my path. Proper eyeballs on the windscreen braking meant she got through but with inches to spare.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

^^^ Austin 1100 perchance?

 

I don't seem to have any of these issues - well, not often. I've started driving at 70-75 on the motorway now, regardless of what I'm driving. The pace is slower, and let the world and his wite fuck off past at whatever speed they want. I just keep out of everyone's way now, even in the Insignia.

This has more to do with avoiding the Filth and as getting as many MPG as poss, but the side effect is that I enjoy driving more.

[Cavcraft]

Tailgaters on winding road/somewhere they can't overtake are easily dealt with. Just keep backing off the throttle/dab the brakes now and then. If you try and block their view a bit whilst you're at it then the moment the one good opportunity for them to overtake comes up you can drop down a couple of gears and nail it to stop the twits coming past.

 

Simple rule I have is that the closer people drive behind me the slower I'm going to go.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

you can drop down a couple of gears and nail it to stop the twits coming past.

 

In a Mark 111 Cortina? Work that Crossflow!

[RoadworkUK]

I must admit, one of the fun things is when somebody goes for an undertake and then the guy in front of you pulls in and blocks them; they then get stuck there as everyone else tailgaiting you cascades past.

 

And you grin as you watch them disappear in your rear view.

[Bren]

I travel along the M62 most days and it is quite surprising the speeds which some motorists travel.

 

These are probably the same ones that moan about the price of a gallon.

 

IF they left the house earlier they could ease off the loud pedal.

[Lankytim]

Since driving my Volvo 240 I have definitely noticed peoples attitudes towards me on the roads have changed. I often get people pulling out on me as I approach, I assume because they think i'll hold them up by driving too slowly. I also had a guy drive right up my arse flashing his lights when I was overtaking a car on a dual carriageway, I was actually doing 60 in a 50 in this case and the twonk behind me was doing pretty much exactly the same speed as me anyway. I rarely get intimidated by other motorists nowadays but I gave him a sarcastic "kenko shuffle" as he slowly overtook and glared at me. If you are reading this Mr 60reg Audi A1 then your missus in the passenger seat looked like she agreed with me.

 

On the other hand when i'm waiting to turn right off a main road then I rarely have to wait long before someone flashes me across with a cheery wave. works when i'm waiting to pull out of junctions as well. Seems people love old 240s but don't want to be stuck behind one!

[Albert Ross]

I always get tailgaters.... but with a sickly (read cracked block, stretched timing chain and re-adjusted injector pump timing....!!) 41 year old diesel engine, the ability to smoke fuck out of them on hills is bloody wonderful. They seem to back off.

[Lord Sterling]

In the latest Autocar Steve Cropley did a piece comparing how he is treated by other motorists when he drives different cars. To paraphrase, he explains that people give him plenty of space when he's in an Audi A6, and sit patiently behind him in the typical 80mph motorway queue, but if he drives his family's old Citroen ZX at the exact same speed, in the exact same circumstances, the car behind invariably pulls in, undertakes and then wedges himself in front, causing Steve to brake hard and the guy following to brake even harder.

 

I know exactly where your coming from Chris. As many of you may know, I have had more than my fair share of being on the end of road rages. I get a ALOT of stick when I drive the Micra, seems most drivers are willing to do just about anything to make a point. I've seen people risk life and limb overtaking me on hill crests and twisty roads just so they can get in front, and I dont hang around, then, once in front, they wont drive much faster.

 

In the Micra I get cut up, pulled out on, tailgated, etc.. 3 times so far I've had people cut me up just before motorway exit ramps despite there being more than enough space behind me. Whats it all about?

 

Sadly it is about who is king on the road, if your in a smaller/older car most twats with a bigger/newer car are going to bully you for space without thinking about the consequence.

 

Strangely enough, I often get more respect when I drive the Rover than driving the Micra which is newer on a S-plate. It could possibly be something to do with it being Birmingham thing, what with my car being a Rover which was a Birmingham based company or it could just simply be the size of the car, I really dont know. Thats not to say of course, I havent had problems in the Rover, though those have given me trouble are often bigger cars, i.e. Audi A8, BMW X5 etc. But yes, I agree with the point that many motorists do seem to feel as if they've got a point to make.

 

Yes, driving fast isnt fun anymore, you drive fast, you'll always get some German car driving goon trying to force you out of the way so they can drive faster to cool thier egos. I say fuck 'em, drive at a relaxed pace, take inthe views around you, let the other twats crash into each other.

 

I used to get rather tetchy about this but have taken a more relaxed approach to this, yes, get out of thier way and let them get on with crashing. After all, its better to get to your destination a few minutes late, but safely, than not at all.

[RobT]

I find tailgaters are often using you to do their driving for them, as when given the opportunity to overtake they just stay plonked behind. I've tried replicating what they do by sitting up the chuff of someone else, but I physically couldn't do it as it went against my natural instinct of looking around/behind/ahead. All I was doing was staring totally at the car in front. I suppose that's why you get rear end shunts as their attention goes for a split second and, wallop.

 

I get a fair few of them when I'm driving the Montego, which being beige is probably seen as being driven by an old duffer. But I often out accelerate modern, bloated lumps on dual carriageways just for the fun of it, being a 2.0EFi pre-cat it makes good progress. Tailgating in urban areas is something I have more of a problem with as I'll do 35 max, even if it's late at night on a wide street. I tend to just pull over nowadays if they really start to piss me off, it's not worth the stress.

[Pete-M]

I drive reasonably quickly (no comment on just how quickly) on the motorway but leave plenty of room for people to do their idiotic things. Not unusual for me to go half an hour without touching the brake pedal on a longish run provided the traffic isn't mentally heavy.

 

The things that screw motorways up in my experience are the following;

 

Tailgaters. Sitting 0.0000002mm from the arse end of the car in front means all you can see is the back of the car in front, so you'll be slamming your brakes on like a tit every 30 seconds and annoying everyone around you. You're also the main cause of entire motorways coming to a halt for no obvious reason. It's tits like you braking at the last nanosecond making everyone else do the same that causes it. Wankers. In a line of flowing traffic doing 80ish mph the sensible thing to do is drop back to approximately two chevrons (they're good) and watch what is going on around and in front of you gently lift off the gas when you see brake lights going on 1/4 mile in the distance and you'll arrive at your destination relaxed and unruffled. Tailgating may frighten the car in front out of the way, but it's pointless when there are 15 more to go before you get 20 seconds of motorway where you can get to 95 and then slam on when you realise the car in front is doing 80. Learn to drive.

 

Truckers. If you're limited to 56 mph then you may as well not bother overtaking something that is doing 54 until they slow down a bit. Most of you have 400+ bhp, gazillion speed auto gearboxes and something like 2000 lb ft of torque, if you can't get up a hill with that then you're doing something wrong. Also, if you're passing Stafford going uphill on the M6, you really don't need to be in the middle lane slowing the entire motorway down to 55 as everyone tries to filter past you. Also, if you're being passed, you may as well let them go past instead of sitting there at Vmax trying to prove some bizarre point. Lift off, drop a couple of MPHs ffs. It's not uphill forever. That ASDA truck that's doing 52 mph is 40ft long and very visible, have a look around and time it and you'll be past the thing in 20 seconds, don't sit behind it for a month then try and out-drag the bloody thing, your truck takes ages to get to 56. Take a run up and time it properly. FFS! Even if you sit behind 'em you won't be there all day, unless you're tailgating them and can't see to get around. Amazing how often I see that.

 

Dawdlers. Don't sit in lane 3 at 70 mph when everyone else is obviously doing 80+. Shift over and let 'em past. If you watch what is going on around you you should be able to see that there's a car doing 50 in the middle lane and judge a gap in lane 3 to pass them. THEN MOVE BACK OVER. The majority of quicker professional car drivers don't spend the day in lane 3, but if that is the only lane free of traffic having you sit there at 69.9 mph is bloody irritating.

 

Bikers. When you're doing 130 mph you really don't need to be in lane 2a. Filtering between trucks doing 56 and cars doing 85 is daft and more than a bit dodgy. Dropping to 90 for a few seconds won't kill you. Ivan the Slovenian trucker who's had 1/2 kg of speed this morning in Belgium may well do.

 

 

As for the different kinds of cars getting different levels of courtesy from other drivers, that's certainly true. I drove an '04 Passat estate to Silverstone and back today, nothing special, and I was tailgated constantly by women in 1 series BMWs and late shape Golfs, some of whom were doing big speeds just to be there and show me their daylight running lights. I often do similar runs in new Skodas at the similar speeds to today and this simply doesn't happen when I'm driving those. It doesn't happen in the Jag either, but the Jeep gets tailgated hugely by van drivers, normally in new Crafters or Transits. Sprinters seem to have lost their mojo. The Mondeo attracts abysmal drivers on the motorway, normally newish Audis like to cut it up in traffic. It's as if the Mondeo is something they feel should be bullied.

[MrDuke]

Here's the weird thing - whenever I drive back 'down south', there's a definite and quite sudden change as soon as I hit the M6. Up to then, I'll be happily pootling along in the slow lane with most other traffic cruising past, and overtaking a lorry every mile or so. Then, as soon as I hit Civilisation, I find the road full of utter twunts with leaden right feet, no spatial awareness, and who apparently have never encountered more than 2 lanes of traffic.

Trust me, this is not in my imagination, it really, akchewally, happens. I'm not even biased, as I'm southern born & bred, but after spending 7 years in the provinces, I just can't get back into the aggressive driving style that you have to adopt as soon as you hit the main arteries of the UK. I mean, I'm fine driving through large cities, central London included - in fact all the low-speed lane-jumping and dodgy maneuvering is good fun - it's the A-roads and M-ways that scare me. Even small to medium towns are lethal areas. Seriously, they are full of complete spackers who are just asking for a tragic accident to befall them.

[Father Ted]

My Mother In Law (and other animals) DO NOT SIT IN THE MIDDLE LANE OF THE MOTORWAY ALL THE WAY TO YOUR DESTINATION

[scooters]

Family cars....

 

Well wife tells me that since getting the Scooby there is no mire bullying...folk seem to keep their distance. I the Scenic it was bad and in the 240 it was bad if she was driving...I noticed if I qwerty driving there was no bullying.

 

I have noticed that drivers keep their distance from the 306 which looks a bit ratty.

 

205 gti was amusing....respect from all but the stupid young bony in her first company car...1 series it a3....the 205gti allows you to bully others on A roads childish but fun ....

 

BX Gti was amusing as well as you saw jaws drop.

 

XJ40s seem to attract it as the assumption of gifferage is made but they tend to back off quick

S3 XJ6 always got bullied

 

Performance volvos...estates...never bullied ...saloons...always bullied...again..giffer syndrome

E34 535i rep mobiles would try it on and be contemptibly brushed off.

 

The Yugo.....well when de badge there was no bullying as soon as the yugo badge went on ....bullying.

 

On motorways I tend to drive defensively these days. Unless the road is totally empty there is little time gain in driving like a twat.

 

The only roads you can make time on are empty motorways and a roads you know when quiet.

[alf892]

Like many it seems I used to get 'get amongst it ..........and arrive stressed to the eyeballs. Commute to work (110miles) was fine because I did it at 4.30 and was off the road by just after 0600. But the drive home at 3.30 to 17.30ish was fookin murder. All done in a company car btw.

 

Now no comany car so paying own fuel and travelling lots less miles I have discovered the joys of travelling at legal speeds.........soooo much less stressful. Let the twunts pass........I'll see you at the next junction, roundabout, whatever.

[chaseracer]

Due to general work stress and other shit, yesterday I reacted badly to a couple of traffic situations in a way that makes me less than proud of myself.

 

My name is Dave. I drive a Blingo and I need to bloody calm down sometimes...

[barefoot]

My T2 weighs the best part of 2 tonnes loaded & has 50 bhp

It's also 6 feet tall & bright orange

 

I am amazed that lane 1 is always empty, I don't have road rage issues because it's completely pointless.

I can cure all manner of tailgating by strapping a pushbike onto the back, (tight enough to be secure, but loose enough to move about a bit)

My issue is with the twats who pull out in front of me, its not like they can't see me coming...

Still I guess they must all know that unservo'd T2s stop on a threepenny bit - or not.

 

The wife gets a little brassed off that I drive the Porsche & the Scirocco the same way!

[jonny69]

Yeah, same problems here. I've also taken to sitting back and relaxing at 65 or 70 and letting everyone get on with it in their own pointless little worlds.

 

The main one that used to make me laugh was when I used my Pop to get to work. Mainly lanes on the journey. I'd usually get someone sitting right behind me on the straight bits trying to push me to go faster. Er, I'm going as fast as the car goes, it's 60 years old. But then the hilarious thing is I'd lose them on the twisty bits because they'd be too scared to follow me round at the same speed. I'll just remind you again I was in a 60 year old sit-up-and-beg Ford Pop with 4" wide crossplies and cable brakes, and Mr big bully fast Audi was consistently too scared to race me round the bends. Bollocks the size of pin heads, I would imagine.

[RobT]

 

I am amazed that lane 1 is always empty

 

Particularly on the M-ways with 4 lanes. On quiet-ish journeys I often find I'm the only one in it so I just plonk myself at 70 so atleast I'm making progress, but I've also got a decent view ahead whilst all the others are bunched up in lane 3 or 4. Then when you come across the inevitable dawdler doing 55 in lane 2, pull out and join the throng in lane 3, pull back in and then ahhhh enjoy the lane 1 view again!

[jonathan_dyane]

...the hilarious thing is I'd lose them on the twisty bits because they'd be too scared to follow me round at the same speed. I'll just remind you again I was in a 60 year old sit-up-and-beg Ford Pop with 4" wide crossplies and cable brakes, and Mr big bully fast Audi was consistently too scared to race me round the bends. Bollocks the size of pin heads, I would imagine.

 

/\This.

 

My driving style is one where I try to make good progress without revving the balls off me motah or having to hit the brakes. Near work there is a dual carriageway with a few roundabouts that links to the motorway. Almost every time I join the dual carriageway a Insignia/Audi/BMW etc will race past me, and gain the lead until we get to the roundabout, which they will invariably draw to a crawl at despite no other traffic, leaving me to fly past them; why are people incapable of reading the road ahead or having any ability to corner?

 

Best road rage incidents I have ever created have been in snowy conditions, driving a 2CV or XM powering past countless silly sods getting stuck while my superior vehicle shrugged off the slippery conditions.

 

Won't be so funny this winter tho, now I've been reduced to RWD...

[jakebullet]

I was first at the lights on a very steep uphill junction. So I put the handbrake on. Light changes to orange and twunt behind who's been playing at burning his clutch out starts leaning on the horn. Sadly for him it's a narrow B road, so I really enjoyed doing the farmer giles style drive at 25mph in the middle of the road thing.

[Cavcraft]

I found driving a Subaru made pretty much everyone else in the vicinity drive like a right twerp. Usually dingbats in modified Clkios/Corsas/106s etc, presumably so they can tell their friends they over took a WRX (or whatever they are) despite the fact you were only plodding along anyhow.

[ProgRocker]

I am amazed that lane 1 is always empty.

 

Same here. There are no motorways where I live. Yesterday was the 1st time I've been on a motorway for 2 years. Quite often used lane 1 doing a steady 70 mph (or 60 if behind a lorry) - I quite like driving with a lot of space around me. I only put my foot down when I need to and not at every possible overtaking opportunity.

 

I am a 'type B' personality - usually relaxed approach to life. Whereas 'type A' drivers are more compititive creatures and are quite often the ones in Lane 3 doing 80+ mph. They will be the ones who may probably end up having a heart attack or some other health related issue caused by...quite literally...'living in the fast lane'.

 

Driving home along the M40 (sat nav directing me to the M25 for some reason, rather that towards the A14 ), I was having a pleasant drive @ 65-70 mph behind a blue Rover 75 Tourer. It is certainly the best way to drive. Although ultimately I got bored and overtook it when the motorway was clear.

 

Further down the M40 a grey mark 5 Astra estate pulled right in front of me about a metre or 2 between us. Tosser was trying to get in front of me I guess to allow the 90 mph+ brigade behind it. I flashed my lights at him/her to communicate my displeasure of the lack of space this idiot has given me. Through the back window I see the driver appears to be wearing a set of those headphones with the big earpieces that seem to have come back in fashion. Isn't listening to music or whatever through the headphones illegal when driving? I then see his/her left hand move to the left ear either to give me a naughty hand signal for daring to criticise him/her or maybe to remove the headphones once realising how rubbish his/her driving was with them on!

 

Yesterday I got tailgated once by someone in a VW van (Transporter? Caravelle type thing) - but it might have been one of the very rare occasions I was in Lane 2 and not in Lane 1 @ 70 mph. I'm not a perfect driver.

[matt79]

I found driving a Subaru made pretty much everyone else in the vicinity drive like a right twerp. Usually dingbats in modified Clkios/Corsas/106s etc, presumably so they can tell their friends they over took a WRX (or whatever they are) despite the fact you were only plodding along anyhow.

 

Here Here! I find that when driving my Impreza, every spotty yoof in his Corsa/Clio/Fiesta made of bodyfiller, plastic & Ripspeed multi fit alloys thinks I want to race them to the next available bed in A&E.

My car also seems to be a rare model, fitted with a magnet inside the rear bumper, which seems to attract most modern german cars & Range Rovers to within 0.1" to it!

 

Few years ago I used to make a daily trip for work from Essex to Peterborough, travelling up the M11 & A14. One day, whilst driving the Company Transit Connect home to Essex one rush hour evening, I was being determindly tailgated by a young Important Business Type in his Important Business Type BM 320d.

As I cruised passsed the line of vehicles on the left at 85ish mph, with the 320 trying to climb over the Connect I noticed the car at the front of the que in the left lane was a dark blue Volvo V70, with the tell tale sign of being an unmarked plod car with the extra door mirror on the drivers side, doing 70 or so.

I immediatley backed of the accelerator, coasted passed the stealth cop V70 & pulled in in front of it.Important Business Type didnt see the unmarked V70 and as he drew level with me, glared accross in my direction & booted his car, sending a plume of dark DPF soot from the exhaust. Very impressive!

Not 10 seconds later the V70 pulled out from behind me & followed the BM at a discreet distance..........

 

......I gave a cheery wave to Important Business Type as he was giving a detailed description of his OMG Epic driving skillZ! to an unimpressed cop on the hard shoulder.

That really did give me a warm feeling inside!