Roverjoyed. ABS woes resolved, MOT? Completed it mate (Rover 800 content)

[Split_Pin]

Great to see both you and your 800 back on the forum. Excellent write up! My Astra Coupe hasn't turned a wheel in 15 months so I'll have the same worries come spring time!

[RoadworkUK]

Having put things off until there was a workable pool of cash safely stashed away, I finally got around to insuring the Rover on Saturday. The plan is to use it over the summer while I pull the Audi all apart and either improve it or make it irretrievably worse, then put it away again in late autumn.

 

Doesn't live a hard life, this car.

 

 

So, today, with my fiancée safely away on a hen weekend, I can do car sort of things. To reawaken the Rover the procedure I had to go through was to a) remove all the things which had been sitting on top of it in the garage, and 2) reconnect the battery.

 

That was it.

 

Except it wasn't, because of the ever-so-clever remote control central locking and its attendant immobilizer. So I had to do the door-lock dance, whereby I have to remove the key from the ignition, open the door, lock the car using the remote, wait for the little blinky epilepsy light to stop blinking, unlock the car, open the door, then close the door and put the key in the ignition.

 

After rolling double sixes, and assuming a North-Westerly breeze of no more than 6 mph, the car should start. And it did. Albeit the remote key-fob is playing up and seems to have adopted a new regime during its time off, deciding that a new, advanced technique is required to operate it. Rather than pressing the unlock button with my thumb like in the good old days, I now have to stab it with a fingernail.

 

That said, there is a handy way of overriding the immobilizer if you need to; but it involves turning the key in the driver's door lock from unlock to lock several dozen times to "dial" in a four digit security code, but I'm buggered if I can be bothered to do that.

 

I bet that's a right giggle in the pouring rain when you're blocking somebody in a 14plate Audi in. FF and indeed S.

 

With it running alrite, and having established that the air-con still works and that I didn't need to buy a new copy of Midnight Marauders by A Tribe Called Quest because it was under the driver's seat all along, I thought it wise to have a quick squiz around for any obvious MOT fail points.

 

 

GAH!

 

Well, that's not very good, is it? Hmm.

 

 

The offside front tyre has perished to the extent that it now resembles black mesh rather than actual rubber. I replaced the rears with ultra-high budget Falkens a few years ago for the same reason. I'll get a pair ordered up and then on Tuesday I will drive very, very carefully to my pre-booked MOT.

 

TBH I can't see anything else obvious on the thing that should cause trouble. I imagine some of the suspension joints are probably pretty dry, and engine emissions are a black art, but I'd be surprised if there was anything much more sinister. I'll update this thread after I've received my MOT FAIL LIST which comes in twelve hardback volumes.

 

Until then, have some pictures of post-dyson attack beige velour heaven.

 

[Bren]

Dont be so pessimistic - you may be surprised. It may need less than you think.

[purplebargeken]

Rover is goooooood!

[srad34]

 

Until then, have some pictures of post-dyson attack beige velour heaven.

 

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20140518_171541.jpg

Those chairs look sooooo comfy!

[RoadworkUK]

Those chairs look sooooo comfy!

 

They're infinitely better than anything in our lounge....

[Skizzer]

Will the tester be extra generous because the dash top isn't lifting?  I would.

 

Good luck!

[RoadworkUK]

Will the tester be extra generous because the dash top isn't lifting?  I would.

 

Good luck!

 

 I know! It must the the eighth wonder of the world or something. Japanese tourists will flock to see it. Cheers!

[Lord Sterling]

Great work Chris, good to see the old girl back kn the road. Took my KV6 Sterling off the road due to South of France-bound work. Might be a while before it goes back on the road.

[rml2345]

It'll be fine! Still a handsome looking beast too. Contrast piped velour is 4 WINNAZ.

[sierraman]

Friend of mine worked at a Rover dealers he used to reckon the timing belt was a good days work on one of these that's with workshop equipment and access, let alone the benefit of tackling it several times before

[RoadworkUK]

Well, thanks for your kind words, folks.

 

I'm almost embarrassed to reveal the MOT result:  Pass with no advisories.

 

That's good news. I can now get back to enjoying the sheer terribleness of it, including but not limited to:

 

• Vague steering feel (probably mostly due to tyre sidewall flex),
• Loads of rattles from the sunroof,
• Ride quality which feels marvellously pliant until it suddenly goes "bang" over a sharp bump,
• A complete lack of headroom front and rear and a surprising lack of rear legroom,
• A major lack of torque from the KV6, it makes all the right noises but really needs to be stoked to have any chance of keeping up with a modern turbodiesel

It all reminds me how boring "competent" cars are. Even my Audi, which is only 9 months newer, feels like it's from the future in comparison.

 

I love it.

 

Further good news is that there don't seem to be any more rattles or knocking sounds than it had when it left the factory. The A/C blows coldish, the clutch seems to be behaving itself over 18 months (and 30 miles) since I did the slave cylinder, and the power steering (which was my next concern) seems to have healed itself. Next job is to give it a damn good service (well, I'll be doing it myself so it'll probably only be alright), of course replace the front tyres and then talk to somebody who likes doing hard work for very little fiscal reward about sorting out the little bit of rot that I tried to address myself which has, inevitably, rejoined us.

 

It's now officially back in front-line service, I look forward to reprezentin' at one of Trigworthy's Tuesday bashes.

[RoadworkUK]

 

On Thursday I made the Rover's first proper shakedown journey into the unknown last since MOT, from the wilds of Constable Country to Millbrook, near Milton Keynes.

 

During the trip down this happened:

 

 

63K miles elapsed, which means the Rover's probably now merely "low mileage" rather than obscenely so. I began the journey with some caution. I had checked the fluids, all fine. Engine oil is a glorious golden colour and registers exactly the right level on the dipper, coolant is full (and transparent, which is more than can be said for the Audi). Somehow, and I've no idea how, the power steering seems to have healed itself.

 

With a half a mind on mechanical sympathy and the rest of it on fuel economy I set my knee for a constant 72mph (less than 3000 rpm). Radio and A/C were switched off so I could listen for any concerning noises. None were evident. Good, that.

 

Once I'd reached Bury St Edmunds and all seemed well, I decided I could risk some music. Brilliantly, I had left in the car the tape my Dad made me in 1987 for my first Saisho quasi-Walkman; "Chris's Copy, Dire Straits". Starting with all seven hours of Telegraph Road, complete with all the wow and flutter you only get from a TDK D90 copy of a copy of a copy. It all seemed perfectly in keeping with 800 travel.

 

Anyway, I was on my way to the SMMT driving day which my gossamer-thin association with the motoring press somehow blags me admittance to. Many new cars were made available for driving and subsequent review, including ridiculous exotica, but that's not really my shit.

 

This is, though (teaser shot):

 

 

I promise a write-up in due course.

 

I was disappointed to find that mine wasn't the oldest car in the car-park, somebody had turned up in a suspiciously tickled Saab 9000, which was nice.

 

Having had rather too much fun during the day, I drove home at a perhaps less relaxed pace than I had held on the way down. A few miles in I realised that my driving position was all wrong, so I reclined the seat a bit more and suddenly everything became amazing.

 

You know that strange moment when everything gels? That was what happened. Now comfy, and with BBC 6 entertaining me, I latched onto the back of an Audi A4 2.0TDI being driven in the obligatory style and decided to follow at a safe distance. It was sublime.

 

At 90 the KV6 (would probably be:- legal disclaimer) spinning at 3500 and makes absolutely no fuss doing so. The ride settles down and the wind noise lulls. Could it be that these things were developed for cruising at 90 and nobody told anyone? I don't know. All I can say is that the trip back to Mistley faded behind me like a fart. Naturally, I've since returned to driving like a human being, but it's nice to know that the old girl has it in her.

 

And I realised to my infinite joy that the windscreen washers look like little owls sticking their heads through the bonnet.

 

 

This has all underlined the wisdom of my determination to keep my 825 for ever and ever.

[PhilA]

20140521_181608.jpg

 

And I realised to my infinite joy that the windscreen washers look like little owls sticking their heads through the bonnet.

 

Reminds me more of Sam the eagle from Sesame Street.

 

"The head gasket isn't far off, you know."

[Skizzer]

Wife loves owls and now wants an 800. Thanks buddy.

[cms206]

Wife loves owls and now wants an 800. Thanks buddy.

SWMBO also loves owls. Sadly she chose to come with me when I drove Mo's free KV6 Sterling from here to Brum sans exhaust so she fuppin' HATES 800s.

[Lord Sterling]

SWMBO also loves owls. Sadly she chose to come with me when I drove Mo's free KV6 Sterling from here to Brum sans exhaust so she fuppin' HATES 800s.

You need to take her out in it again now that its pretty much sorted, quieter and smoother than it was when you brought it down

[RoadworkUK]

I'm very much afraid that I have literally nothing to report as regards my Alan Partridgemobile. The 825 has suffered precisely zero ailments and continues to do Sterling work (eh!).

 

This is just as well, because I really should be getting on with my Audi, which was exiled to my Nan's nice big spacious garage earlier in the summer. It's due a cambelt change; frightening to thing that 60K+ miles have already elapsed since last time. But of more pressing concern is this:

 

 

Yup. That's the inside of the expansion tank lid and it's got all Primula cheese spread on it. It's not just the inside of the lid, either. The cooling system is full of the stuff so it's unlikely to be just a condensation issue. Emulsification has been going on for ages somewhere or other. There are loads of things that could cause this.

 

So, with the Rover performing so fabulously it seems a good time to pull the Audi all apart and have a good old looksee.

 

First bit of fun and games was had trying to remove the front bumper, which is held on by two clips and two bolts. Unfortunately some clumsy fucker had turned the hex on one bolt into a perfect circle. That was me, as it happens.

 

So as a result I spent 25 years with various impact drivers and banging ever larger sockets over it, that kind of thing, all to no avail.

 

 

We saw eventual success by welding enough blebs of metal onto the bolt to get some purchase with an ancient whitworth socket and impacted the bollocks off it, and then, finally, FREEDOM.

 

Next step was to investigate exactly how far the inspection is going to take me. To try and get some idea as to whether theres much internal fuckery, and also as a reasonable thing to do since I've never done it before, a compression test was performed.

 

The Haynes BOL suggests, to perform this, that the injectors are all disconnected, the headrests are removed, the sound insulation under the car is put in the attic and any relatives from Norfolk are given ear defenders. Instead I took the fuel pump fuse out.

 

Is that OK?

 

Anyhow, all four cylinders were making 160PSI or thereabouts. I didn't have any actual values to work to, but they're all the same and the car drives well, so I'm giving that result the RoadworkUK skypunch of approval.

 

From the beginning I have been holding onto the dream that MY HEADGASKET IS PERFECTLY OK THANKS. It would be hilariously ironic if the Audi HG went before either of the Rover ones. Anyway. Though there is cheese in the coolant, there's no mayo under the cap and it all looks squeaky clean if you inspect beyond the filler with an Oral B mirror-on-a-stick. Nothing horrid on the dipstick, either.

 

What I hadn't realised was that these 1.8T's have an oil-cooler / heat exchanger thingymagig just above the oil filter. Inside this there is coolant flowing in and out, as well as oil being pumped through. The two fluids are separated only by a little gasket.

 

Well, my oil cooler appears to have to have oil dripping out on the outside. This being the case it seems reasonable to assume that the innards might be a bit shitty as well.

 

I've got one of these:

 

 

So, here is my plan of action in the form of a list of bulletpoints:

• Replace Cambelt. Achieving this involves the removal of 18" and 200 tonnes of crap from the front end of the car, including the "lock panel" which includes the headlamps, rad, A/C rad, PAS oil-cooler, dropping the coolant, also removing the PAS pump, Alternator, etc. etc. etc.
• Replace oil cooler / heat exchanger thingy. Like a twat I am going to HOPE that this cures the yeast infection.

And here comes the fun bit. I've had this car for SEVEN YEARS now, and it's been a totally trouble-free experience and, driven properly, on the right road, it has even been FUN on multiple occasions. But, I feel it could be made MOAR fun without much effort. I've never really gone through a boy-racer phase, and I figure I have little to lose. So, my plan from here on in is:

• Bigger Turbo. Yeah, why not? AEB 1.8t can have all manner of tomfoolery visited upon it. A more serious snail allied to more generous injectors and a bit of remapping might well rekindle my enthusiasm for the car.
• Brake Upgrade. The discs and pads are 40K old, so, with the car all apart I may as well upgrade them. I can go the next size up by changing the calliper carriers. Again, nothing ventured, nothing gained.
• Make the A/C work again. I know the system holds gas pressure and I know that the A/C belt was disconnected from the compressor years back. My assumption is that the comp is pharqued. Bung a new one on while the car's in bits.
• Probably other stuff.

So that's it. Good compression result has given me inspiration to actually get on with this. I've always got the 825 as my "sensible" car.

[twosmoke300]

Old k series head bolts can be made into good slide bolts to pull the front end forward without disconnecting everything

[RoadworkUK]

Old k series head bolts can be made into good slide bolts to pull the front end forward without disconnecting everything

 

Where would I get those from?! Only kidding. Truthfully, I tried the "service position" last time but it's just as much of a ballache for me trying to manoeuvre my ludicrous frame and outsize limbs into a 10 inch gap as pulling it all apart.

[Vince70]

It must be an autoshite thing as we have the same Audi and the same Halfords Professional socket set, but it looks like you know how to use your set better than me by about a 1000%

 

The aircon on my Audi is also in need of a regas plus Adidas superstars I find are the trainer of choice.

[Asimo]

That coolant goop isn't some anti-freeze mix reaction is it?

 

(As discussed on yesterdays anti-freeze thread)

[RoadworkUK]

That coolant goop isn't some anti-freeze mix reaction is it?

 

(As discussed on yesterdays anti-freeze thread)

 

Hmm... must visit that thread. Could well be. Still don't like the look of my oil cooler, though.

[RoadworkUK]

 Adidas superstars I find are the trainer of choice.

 

Aye! My Fiance actually ordered these from Amsterdam as nobody could supply a size 13!

[RoadworkUK]

 

You know how you just drive a car from day to day and totally forget about what it is, what it can do and how it makes you feel?

 

I've just driven it to Brighton and back for a long weekend. Sitting on the quite wonderful A23, cruising at 77mph, listening to the permanently installed 1987 TDK D90 recording of Brothers In Arms, and enjoying a beautiful sunset, everything felt very, very right with the world. And that's without the overwhelming feeling of smugness when you get overtaken by something on a 63 plate, on finance, leaving a trail of depreciation behind it.

 

On long journeys my arithmetic reckons 33-34mpg, which is borderline fucking brilliant. Once within town this efficiency drops somewhat and it becomes thirstier than George Best during the prohibition.

 

 

I've become one with the Rover. My driving style has adapted to the peculiar characteristics it has; it prefers to be steered in long, fluid lunges rather than razor-sharp jabs, and the extremely slow clutch contrasts weirdly with the ultra-quick gearshift. I have a workaround for this; driving slowly.

 

Seriously; compared to when I drive the A4 I must look like I'm mainlining Mogadon. I very seldom take the KV6 beyond 3000rpm (coincidentally 77mph true). If I'm joining traffic, a bit like an air traffic controller trying to allow space for a Constellation to take off between Dreamliners, I leave it until the coast is well clear.

 

That said, on my way home on Friday night I decided, just for fun, to stray past 3K. There are a few nice straights on my cross-country route, so I thought I'd explore the "forbidden sector" of the rev counter. In second, I worked the car gently through to three thou, held it, and then punched it. And ohmygodfaaaarrk I had totally forgotten how quick the car could be made to be.

 

Next straight I did the same but then grabbed third, and the fun continued.... until I ran out of road. I know better than to shove an 800 into a corner with any amount of inertia. Bad things happen.

 

That 2nd-gear-3rd-gear sprint is an amusing little party trick, but by fourth it's all over. The ratios in the 825 manual are really odd, like 2nd and third are the only close-ratio gears in what its quite a schizophrenic box. It all adds to the character, though, and compared to the megabucks, brand new stuff I drive every day for work, the Rover has personality in spades.

 

I like that it doesn't handle. Well; actually it holds the road hilariously well, and the steering is extremely accurate, but there's so little feel you might as well be playing charades, and the roll angles are such that onlookers probably piss themselves with laughter. But, judged right it'll go around the corner without trouble. Don't lift off, though, good God no.

 

Bloody love this car.

 

 

The exhaust is blowing around the flexi-joint, which lends it a burble reminiscent of a marine diesel with an underwater exhaust. I still think the KV6 sounds marvellous, and it's my intent next year to go absolutely mental and fit a stainless-steel powerflow or something, to make the most of the power and the noise.

 

I'm also going to buy A Man and get him to mend the few blebs of decomposition hither and thither. This is going to be my wedding car. Needs to be shipshape. Rather than just barge-shape, which it already is.

 

There's not really any point to this post, to be honest, aside from my wish to let everybody know how utterly besotted I am with my Rover. Actually, maybe my point is to encourage everybody to step back and think for a minute about our cars and what they actually mean to us. I think we sometimes forget.

[chaseracer]

It must be an autoshite thing as we have... the same Halfords Professional socket set...

 

I have one too!  Stop laughing.

[Lord Sterling]

Thismis exactly why I refuse to sell/break my KV6. It needed not more than a few little bits doing and a good clean up. It got, fro what I can vaguely remember, a new exhaust system, a service and a clean up. A new wing was also chucked on.

 

From sometime last year (or even before that) until I went to France, the KV6 served me very well. Not once did give me any troubles or a fail to proceed. It had sumptuous interior and it made me smile every time I drove it. Now money can't buy that.

 

I'm glad it's keeping you in good company. May it continue to give you many years and miles and pleasure.

[EssDeeWon]

Hi Roadwork did you get the belts done on this?

 

Its a nice Rover, I saw one like this today and it looked lovely parked among all the euro boxes in Waitrose carpark.

[RoadworkUK]

Hi Roadwork did you get the belts done on this?

 

Its a nice Rover, I saw one like this today and it looked lovely parked among all the euro boxes in Waitrose carpark.

 

Shhhh...... the belts will hear you. The relay belts are still upstairs in the "library". Did the main one. Really enjoyed* it. As soon as the Audi is back on the road I promise they're being done.

[tooSavvy]

R-UK... I saw this. I like the good old 'dash-flash'.....

 

 

 

Here is one of mine, a bit sentimental like 

 

 

one minute you HAVE a 60K warranty... next you DON'T.

 

 

TS